the ^ < V game

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^ ~( o_o)~

< \(o . o )7

v z( -_o)z

^ Nice. But you still have to take me out for dinner.

< I wonder if anyone actually does challenge themselves to masturbate to difficult to fap to things.

v 30-something nerdy critic.

^ Give me another 3 years.
< This is purely non-sexual, but 2 separate middle-aged men in my life believe the basic concept of violence is more damaging to the human psyche than gratuitousness or authenticity.
v I saw fit to prove them wrong by searching for beheading videos; the high-def/slow-mo closeup made me queazy for the rest of the night while the one where a woman pleads for her life, is beheaded, and then emotes all in under a minute and the same shot still haunts me to this day.
> Compared to everything from cartoon violence to parody-esque God of War gore, neither of which makes me feel bad. I now resent these men and their antiquated assumptions because they prompted me to ruin my perfect track-record of never having witnessed gruesome/real death.

^ R/wtf is in my subscriptions.

< I don't think I'll ever watch 2 guys 1 hammer. That's where I draw the line. Videos with sound and prolonged suffering.

v Happy-happy joy-joy.

^ Yes, don't ever watch that footage.

< I'm also glad that the audio of the Grizzly Man death was destroyed.

v Some things just shouldn't be released.

^ Like Timesplitters 4.

< Hopefully I won't be too bogged down with work before the 23rd. I've been very distracted.

v Is actually a cluster of polyps.

^ I'll have you know that I don't know what that means and am afraid to look it up.

< Don't fink I'd enjoy looking up one, neiver! Wa-hey, wa-hey!

v *Comedy horn three inches from your ear*.


< Polyps are abnormal tissue growths in humans, but I was referring to the zoological usage. The portuguese man o' war is made up of four polyps, which is what inspired that V, although I think I've said that in a V before...

v Fufufufufufu.

^ I will have a new keyboard sent along.

< Another year survived on planet Earth.

v Will they come back for me soon, do you think?

^ Only to collect your corpse for research purposes.

v Is actually a cluster of polyps.

< You've discovered the secret to my youth!
v Also frequently thinks of clever things to say long after the opportunity to say it has passed.

^ Yep.

< It really sucked when this would happen in school for writing assignments.

V Will be continued.

^ Jesus...probably.

< *Honkhonkhonkhonkhonk*.

v Is that the sound of the police?

^ I think it's the circus, laddie.

< Tokyo Laundry always nails everything I want in a jacket or coat, I should just buy from this brand for the rest of my life.

v Wants a pet bear.

^ I'd like to pet one and feed it some McVities.

< Close enough.

v Far from home. Here's a homeward bone.

^ Bonemerang.

< I really like Gumshoos, but I can't shake the notion that it really looks like Trump. I don't want politics in my Pokemon...

v Cooking with gas.

^ Claims to be alive, but this is still 2016, so...
< Has a gas oven, so ^ is correct.
v Constantly giggles when "69" is mentioned.

^ No, only every once in a while.

< Blargs.

V Saw a creeper the other day.

^ he was doing the creep!

< flip the switch

V reposting this because when I originally posted it the following poster responded to the < arrow instead of the V arrow

"Wings of Surveillance!" "Why do you do that?" "Do what?" "Just because you say 'wings of' before you do something doesn't make it a special move. Like if I said 'antennae of power' or 'Thorax. . . of making sandwiches'." "wings of disagreement." from KFP3

^ I an't flippin' no sweetches, moite.
< Watched Olympus Has Fallen, hated it.
v Finishes every game before starting another.

^ I wish I could say that.

< I wish I had someone to hug right now.

v Quicksand.

^ slow dirt

< awesome!

V A very Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to all the Escapist. Also a special thanks to any of you who risk life and limb as either a first responder (Fire, Police, EMS) or the armed services. May the Christmas Dragon put lots of wonderful presents in all your stockings tonight!

^ Same to you?

< Eh, for me it will be a little bit of family together time, then back to the norm.

V I have Monday off though, so that's something.

^ I have work to do over the holidays but iirc I'm not back till the 9th.

< Ever meet an upbeat horse that loves to come up and see people? I remember one that was sitting in a field alone next to some houses we were checking out at the time. It was a long time ago, but it makes me smile remembering how it excitedly tiptoed over.

v Pbbbbbbh.

^ I am not a horse.

< I don't think I like rissoles.

v Are you a steak eater?

^ I loik steak.

< I was in a bad spot a few days ago because I left a couple of things to the last minute and only ended up with one that turned out good.

v Where are the festive avatars?

^ In Hell.

< Loi loi loi loi loi loi loi loi loi...

v *Cacophony of drumming, trumpets and baritones*.

^ For the second day this year, I've been hearing apocalyptic horns filling the skies all day today.
< Is terrified that it's some kind of super-villain plot, world-ending monster attack, alien invasion, or all of the above.
v Knows exactly what I'm going through, but will keep it secret.

^ What are you referring to? Nothing that could be considered ominous is happening.
< Would be whistling If he knew how.
V Don't talk about The Event! Ever!

^ Ah yes, near the end of July, I compared it to Spielberg's Martian tripod sirens.
< Next time it happens, I'm going to drop what I'm doing and try to find it.
v To prepare, I should probably buy a pair of those headphones used at gun ranges.

^ Might be wise.

< Needs to shower soon.

V Sees the effects of Kwathnog ownership.

^ Extreme caution is required when handling your Eldritch pet.

< Ate well over Xmas.

V You wouldn't steal a policeman.

^ But I will steal their cars, when they don't exist.
< Turns out, the electric plant I live next to has the loudest ringtone ever for their land-line phone.
v Just think, if they set it to vibrate...

^ The destruction would be catastrophic.

< inner peace, inner peace, itchy nose

V Well I was going to say "The weight is over." but I am about a year late on that, so Kung Fu Panda 3 was "worth the weight!"

^ I haven't seen it yet, so I say meh.

< Listening to remixes of some stuff.

V Having fun?

^ I mean, I just woke up.

< And the first thing I did was hit the internet and play Clicker Heroes, oh the life I lead.

V You gotta MASH!

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