If this is the answer, what is the question?

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*finishes reading an insurance company brochure* so, how did you like that bedtime story?

a dime.

What did I find in my thong this time?

Because its unethical.

Why not zoidberg?

I can't believe that I'm saying this, but... I don't know.

How old are you?

Sorry, that was inexcusable.

These are brand new shoes!!! Why did you pee on it?!?!?

125,600 minutes.

How long does it take to connect to Google in your dorm room?

Sean Connery.

Who was that naked guy in the park earlier?

to get to the other side.

Why did the demons slaughter humanity to open the door to the demon realm?

Not on my watch!

Can I shag the dog?

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME??

Who is Keyser Soze?

Well, there's no way in hell I'd trust it to Riku.

So, who is going to clean the fridge?

A few more guns.

And if that doesn't work, what should I use?

Hideo Kojima's glasses.

Anything else we need before searching for the Easter Bunny?
EDIT: Is there anything you would be willing to steal?

Only if I can bring fireworks.

Should we be having fun?

I see no evil in doing so.

How do you feel about me burning down an orphanage?

I would rather listen to Justin Beiber.

Feel like being tortured for months, stopping the torture only to ensure you survive so that the torture will continue?

No comment.

Why did you eat my sandwich?

OBJECTION! That has nothing to do with this case!

EXPLAIN; WHY DID I SEE YOU EATING DICKS THE OTHER DAY?

Sorry, my brain has divided by zero. Terminating program.

What's 5 divided by zero?

Burma!

Which location are you unlikely to see in a young person's holiday brochure?

4,691 irradiated haggis.

How many pieces of shit did that animal poop out already?

I lost, thank you very much.

How did you go in that pizza making contest?

GIR.

What for, friend?

Forget the answer, I need Brain Bleach.

What did you see that left you so emotionally scarred??

Only if you do it to me first.

How do I redeem myself with a... you know... ?

I'm done, please leave me alone.

How is your meal sir???

A kitten and a puppy playing in a slipper.

What is the cutest possible video one could find on YouTube?

I have a pounding headache.

Why are you calling everyone a motherfucker?

It was a pink elephant.

What was that thing that robbed us when we where high again?

Nope I only lost some cash.

Did you lose all your items when you fell down the stairs?

I fell asleep.

How was the end of the movie?

Ten fish, a Litre of cola and some of the most smelly cheese you've ever seen.

What's your greatest nightmare?

Being a janitor.

What is your dream job?

I'm reasonably certain that she isn't actually human.

Wait was that murder?

This thread.

What is the most pointless thing that currently exists?

Manchester.

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