If this is the answer, what is the question?

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What would happen if Leonidas' army stole a time machine and travelled back one minute.

Silly Buggers

How would you describe the resident lamebots?

I heard they ate a trillion porcupine eggs.

Why do their breaths sting?

I don't wanna say.

Why are you a thing?

They didn't.

Is it possible that your parents ever had intercourse?

People you don't want to cross swords with???

A Spanish potato.

What is the final, secret ingredient to the elixer of immortality?

Tigers in space.

What would happen if every elephant in India jumped up and down at the exact same time?

1/5 of an inch longer than normal

What is odd about my left thumb's nail??

Lemonade, nails, and a few happy thoughts

Jesus' shopping list ahead of the last supper

145 dwarves

A dragon's favorite meal.

I don't have one of those.

What did the forgetful skydiver say to his partner?

Knives are the only way.

EDIT: welcome to the escapist :)

How to murder everyone in Deus Ex without ever getting shot at?

I think...I might have shot the sheriff while I was drunk last night.

What did Bob Marley say before writing his hit song?

Hot water and a little salt.

what did you pour in my eyes?

three oversized politicians

What's for dinner?

I think...yeah, the universe is folding...

Also, welcome to the Escapist! Don't let anyone bite you...the plague hasn't been sorted out yet >.>

We just fired up the improbability drive

I'm still looking for it

Umbrella Co. Representative: Hey, Where'ja put the new contagion we were working on?

Umbrella Corporation, GeneCo, Gentek, the city of Rapture, the city of Columbia, New York, Old York, Commander Shepard.

Do you know where Auschwitz is?

Lemon juice is actually surprisingly flammable.

Umbrella co. representative: Hey, where'ja put that new contagion we were working on?

A man chooses, a slave obeys.

What would be a good moto for a BDSM dungeon?

It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man!

Who didn't give me a hand just then?

Well that's all I could get in there.

Is that the best you could do in the hot dog eating contest?

4 green socks

What the heck is that dog wearing?

I swear it's not mine!

Who onws this signed copy of the Twilight saga?

It burnt everything.

What happened to that combustible lemon I was working on?

Tim is off on a search to rescue the Princess. She has been snatched by a horrible and evil monster. This happened because Tim made a mistake.

Does anyone know where my little brother is?

I have never been more insulted in my life!

And how does that make you feel?

I've got a love-er-ly bunch of coconuts.

Do you know any songs about female anatomy?

Police! Get down!

Why is there a black van following me?

Queen

What do I like to be called by my significant other in private??? *cough* I mean, who sang that song about riding a bicycle??

It made me cry

How did you like Journey?

I sleep outside now.

What is the net result of you finding an Indian burial ground in your basement?

Amnesia.

Why can't I remember the question that led to that answer?

Horses

What do you call ponies that sell their bodies?

Here we go!

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