If this is the answer, what is the question?

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What is an Ork's reaction to anything that can be solved with violence?

He's a man *punch*
wears a pretty hat
LINKARA!

Can you say something that will leave me confused and in need of a google search?

Not through that door anyway.

Where did you hide the body?

A dash of pepper.

How did you make his eyes water?

The left hand turn at the end of the street

Excuse me sir; how do I get to the pit of darkness?

The scouts will take over the world.

What will happen if a catastrophe wipes out the entire adult population?

A biro

so he jumped in murdered three guards, stole the jewels and flew out the window. What did you say he was wearing again?

crab marrying bigamists

Which cult concept received the most support from a recent internet poll?

One-winged wyvern.

What would happen if Sephiroth met a dragon?

'Ere we go! 'Ere we go! 'Ere we gooooo!

Inappropriate things to say during a plane crash??

Jump over the fence

How do I get to America from here?

Idiot proof eggs

What would help me with my attempts at baking?

Not in that weather!

Can we go to the beach next winter?

It froze hell.

Where's my stockpile of dry ice bombs?

Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles reboot.

What caused the earth to explode?

A gaint scarecrow.

How do you scare a giant crow???

White wine

What's the name of your Emo pop group?

The capital of Hungry.

Where is the drug capital of Europe?

Man eating crabs

What is Godzilla's favorite meal?

Calibrations.

What will be the death of Garrus Vakarian?

Oh my god........ a new twilight book.

What is hell, Alex?

Xephos, Honeydew and Knight Peculier.

What should I name my children when I'm older?

Hunger and thirst

What are the two things that will kill you in my basement?

Entrenched potato army

Who keeps trying to take over my kitchen?

A woolly hat, a muddy hoofprint and a copy of The Times.

What are the things a New York tourist doesn't need?

Eric Cartmans pyjamas

What smells like cheesy poofs?

Crowbar.

What's a scientist's preferred tool?

Bologna.

How did you just sneeze again?

Well it was the heat of the moment.

Why did you eat all my ice cubes?

It was the frog.... I swear.

Why are you inside this asylum?

The new Captcha system only ever uses Comic Sans.

Why did you throw your computer at that old lady?

I would, if I had that many decorative napkins.

Why don't you redecorate the Vatican?

There was no potatoes.

Why did you turn GLADoS intto a pie?

I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.

Tell us what you told your hallucinations in the asylum?

I don't need your aged linen tomatoes.

Would you like to watch a movie?

It's like a wibbly wobbly timey wimey.. stuff..

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