What lantern ring-bearers should never have possessed a lantern ring?
It's the only thing that matters now.
Why are you hugging that pile of money?
Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs!
What's the first thing you see when you arrive on the Las Vegas Strip?
I told you she predicted it!
How'd your sister manage to make so much money betting on the race??
A crushing defeat.
What happened the last time you tried to ninja a comment on me?
This is why we aren't allowed in there anymore.
Ahh! Thinkin' 'bout getting' some wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, eh?
... Unt ven ze patient voke up, his entire skeleton vass missink, unt ze Doktor vass never heard from again!
What was the end of that crappy horror story again?
He glassed him for it.
How did your brother get that cookie off his mate??
3 to go.
Alright, how many of those douchebags who wear their pants around their thighs do we have left?
No, and you can quote me.
Don't you think that those douchebags who wear their pants around their ankles have the right to live?
Seriously, it imploded before we could do anything.
Hey - have you seen my puppy? I'm sure I left her right here.
If you rub hard enough, the colour will come right off!
How do I get blood out of my clothes?
Play it one handed.
Man I just sprained my wrist masturbating, how will I perform the trombone solo at the concert tonight?
I swear to god she was making out with your Dog!
How come you broke up with her, she seemed nice?
Until I could count seventy.
How long did you say we should submerge that hooker underwater?
Freon and Ethanol man. Freon and Ethanol.
What does this pasta need?
So much rope.
What do his intestines remind you of???
Do you even know what you injected into him with that needle?
Ferrets did this.
All of my garden destroyed. What happened?
A true man of the Earth.
In a short phrase, describe Bernie Madoff.
Delirium, nausea, light headedness and rectal bleeding.
What is the correct response to hearing Justin Bieber sing.
Tvtropes. It did this.
What caused you to ninja me?
You need a bit more dynamite.
Why the hell didn't that gerbil achieve orbit?
I'm telling you the man is watching us and altering things around us.
What did he say when you called him paranoid???
That's just not feasible.
Dude, did you hear that Quantum Leap was based on a true story?
He said he was a she, and she said she was a he, but in reality he and she were the same person!
How are your parents these days??
Not on a Thursday!!
You're not coming skiing with me today?
I'm sorry, but I just can't. It sickens me.
Wanna go play some pool??
I hate gerbils.
Why won't you go into the rodents section?
The little pet shop of miscellaneous horrors.
Do you remember the name of that Broadway music based off that one that had the giant Venus fly trap in it?
Kill it. KILL IT!
Did you want this kitten?
Every breath I take.
How often did you say you think about mastication?
I said he was masticating!!
You are disgusting, why would you watch him doing that???
Is it physically possible for you to speak in anything but non-sequiturs?
The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
what is your maximum sprint speed??