Gordon god of bad decisions

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so the game is you have to ask Gordon god of bad decisions for advice e.g. (Gordon, what car should I buy?), the next poster then answers as Gordon giving bad advice and justifying it some way e.g. (Buy the one with no engine, its cheap)

Gordon, what should I watch?

Watch the Twilight saga with a bunch of teenage girls.

Gordon, what should I have for dinner??

Try some raw eggs, wet and crunchy.

Gordon, where should I go on holiday?

Prison! You get free food!

Gordon, should I do my work now, or later?

Do it later. Next Christmas.

Gordon, which game should I play?

superman for the N64, you'll find out what all the fuss is about.

Gordon, who should I get to cut my hair?

Attach come scissors to a penguin's wings, let it go to work :)

Gordon, what should I give my girlfriend for her birthday?

Gordon, a birthday card which has an age couple of years older then her age on it, this will remind her that she is young.

Gordon, I just got my ear cut off what should I do?

Firmly apply a hornet's nest, and run as fast as you can to the witch doctor. He will heal you up good.

Gordon, how should I attempt the next space program?

Lawn Chair + 2500 home made rocket kits = SPAAAAAACE!

Gordon, how do I find the meaning of life?

Let it find you.

Gordon, how do I become a god?

By killing several children and getting some idiots to worship you.

Gordon, where is the best place to get King Crab?

The ocean. Can't get 'em fresher anywhere else.

Gordon, what's the best source of stress relief?

Punching rhinos, they won't get hurt no matter how much you punch them.

Gordon, there is a serial killer chasing me and my group of friends what should we do?

Find a house at least 2 stories high. Then hide in the upper floors... up the stairs. Make sure to break an ankle on the way up.

Gordon, I'm trying to kill a Gorgon, how do I do this?

Try approaching it with a feather duster and while on roller blades, it's the only way to vanquish one :P

Gordon, I'm trying to decide what to wear today, can you help??

Assless chaps are comfortable and cooling, and they save fabric.

Gordon, what should I do to get girls to like me?

Always proposition a girl within thirty seconds of meeting them, it makes them feel attractive, and it shows confidence :P

Gordon, how do I stop giving bad advice??

By running your answers through the California Psychic network prior to answering the next question.

Gordon, what is the best method of transport when crossing the Pacific ocean during Monsoon season?

confess-to.net will take you to the other side of the pacific, monsoons being no issue. It has the added bonus of you not having to bother with actual travel.

Gordon, what should I do with my sprained ankle?

Hop up and down on it.

Gordon, what should I do when I am angry at confess-to.net?

Let the anger flow through you. It will give you strength.

Gordon, should I get to studying or procrastinate more?

Procrastinate more and when you're ready to study, get drunk before studying. Oh yeah and sleep deprive yourself and starve yourself.

Gordon. How should I ask a woman that I'm interested in out on a date or should I stalk her everywhere she goes?

Stalk her, everyone likes to know someone's watching over them!

Gordon, which operating system should I be running?

Definitely windows vista, it's all the rage these days :P

Gordon, how do I free man??
see what I did there??

By the help of a crowbar. Crowbars are the best tools for freeing people from opressive regimes.

Gordon, how do I best study for my upcoming test?

By osmosis, if its good enough for plants its good enough for you.

Gordon, how should I hide this corpse?

In plain sight, it's always the last place people look :)

Gordon, how do I decide who I should vote for?

Vote for Harold Saxon. He is the best choice. Trust me, I'm Gordon.

Gordon, how do I reconcile my relationship with my ex-girlfriend?

Fire, when in doubt its always fire, it is the best invention after all.

Gordon, should I make the next facebook?

take everyone out around her, where you're the only one left..

Gordon, how do I learn to play well with others?

hey gordon hey gordon!!! when should i stop beating my pigeon waifu dressed up as a gardevoir???

never, as it is the best way to spend your weekends

Gordon, I found a lama wearing a hat in my kitchen, what should I do?

Shoot it, or give it some glasses to go with the hat.

Gordon, help me think of a nickname for you?

Nodrog, not only is it my name backwards but it banishes me back to my home dimensssshit...

Nodrog, where is the safest place to get hammered without fear of getting my kidneys stolen?

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