Ask Commander Shepard!

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Renegade Shepard:

You know who they're going to blame for all these video game characters popping up on The Escapist?

It's going to be me.

And they'd be right, because it would be my fault.

I thought I was being original, here.

People will whine and whine, but we're the true soldiers, they should respect us... I finished the fight (for now...) and you well... Ended it, somewhat.

Shepard, how do you feel about... me being a DLC character?

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Fijiman:
How's Ugly Shepard doing?

I'm not really sure..I haven't heard from after he ran off to go see that assari on Omega

Master Chief:
Renegade Shepard, Cortana told me about your ending situation, I think I could help.

....WHO are you?

Fieldy409:

Shepard how do you feel about sheep?

umm...a domesticated animal used for meat and wool? I don't really

ohhhh..I see, everyones a comedian arnt they?

conmag9:

What's your prefered excercise regimen?

Also, would you like to borrow my Cain for the above poster?

excercise? I get enough exercise on the battlefeild

I just play Grim Terminus Alliance on the big screen in my quarters

and yes I would....

Jeffrey Crall:
As"s"ari? Alright, no doubt this is vault101, refer to early post! Hah, I see right through you, Paragon Shepard... or should I say... GARRUS?

Ive had enough of your snide insinuations....

Renegade Shepard:

That pun killed my hamster.

I hope you're happy.

.

Fieldy409:
Oh no I'm so sorry Shepard. What was the hamsters name?

Maybe you can get Miranda to make it a zombie robot like you?

Incidently my hamster is fine...her name is Starkiller

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Ha! I build the Reapers, im not scared of anything...Wait, what was that? Oh it was just my Antimater Hair Spray(AHS for short). I think it just destroyed something... Ill have to create an entirely new sentient machine "species" just to clean up this whole mess... I hope your`e happy!

Fieldy409:
Oh no I'm so sorry Shepard. What was the hamsters name?

Maybe you can get Miranda to make it a zombie robot like you?

Boo.

Poor little guy...

Master Chief:

Renegade Shepard:

You know who they're going to blame for all these video game characters popping up on The Escapist?

It's going to be me.

And they'd be right, because it would be my fault.

I thought I was being original, here.

People will whine and whine, but we're the true soldiers, they should respect us... I finished the fight (for now...) and you well... Ended it, somewhat.

Shepard, how do you feel about... me being a DLC character?

I'm more disturbed by the fact your having a fourth game.

I thought trilogies were supposed to come in three's.

Not fours.

Paragon Shepard:

Ive had enough of your snide insinuations....

Hey, give me back my thesaurus.

who was your favorite Yeoman?

Samantha Traynor _________________________________________or__________Kelly Chambers?

image
image

who
is
the
better
Yeoman/
lover?

vs

Samantha wouldn't put out.

That upsters me, because that goddamn accent....

But Kelly, sure is flexible.

I'll be a stick in the mud and promote equality.

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

Harbinger is my long lost twin brother digitalized in to cyberspace with space waffle thechnology,and inserted in to a Reaper body.He was going through his goth faze, hence the whole "Salvation through destruction" thing. I just told him to kill stuff every once in a while.But he really had retched aim, i mean , not killing shepard with a direct reaper beam to the chest? Thats just sad.

hino77:

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

Harbinger is my long lost twin brother digitalized in to cyberspace with space waffle thechnology,and inserted in to a Reaper body.He was going through his goth faze, hence the whole "Salvation through destruction" thing. I just told him to kill stuff every once in a while.But he really had retched aim, i mean , not killing shepard with a direct reaper beam to the chest? Thats just sad.

It's not my fault you gave me a lousy targeting system.

Renegade Shepard:
I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm giving you a one time deal.

Remember this old fad on the website? Well I'm joining it late.

So ask me a question and I'll try to answer it if it's not a pointless waste of my time.

So if you're wondering if I can take a Reaper out barehanded (the Reaper can certainly try to beat me.) or some sort of question about my crew, go ahead and ask.

Again, as long as it's not a pointless waste of my time.

+

Shep bro, I need to ask you this bro because I think you and I are of the same bromentality. So I feel the need so ask you this brobing question, that only a true bro could answer bro. Who would you rather be your best bro, Batman or Thor. I'm counting on you to answer bro, be broficient in answering these bro. Later, bro.

Hey ParaFemShep... I think I found those extranet files on RenegadeShep you were talking about

Paragon Shepard:

Fijiman:
How's Ugly Shepard doing?

I'm not really sure..I haven't heard from after he ran off to go see that assari on Omega

Hey, I'm back! Funny thing about that Asari... Morinth, that was her name. Anyway, yeah, she seemed to be really into me (I think it was because of all the aliens I punched, maybe she was into that kind of thing) and so she took me back to her place. We were getting really cozy, she cuddles up to me and does that freaky eye thing... Next thing I know she's dead on the floor.

Samara finds out... I didn't listen to the whole explanation, but she said that my "anti-charisma was too strong for her powers", or something. Weirdly she didn't seem all that pissed about her daughter being dead. Apparently she even wants to introduce me to loads of single Asari all over the galaxy who are like her daughter. Dunno why. Maybe something will turn up, huh?

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

image

Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Hectix777:

Renegade Shepard:
I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm giving you a one time deal.

Remember this old fad on the website? Well I'm joining it late.

So ask me a question and I'll try to answer it if it's not a pointless waste of my time.

So if you're wondering if I can take a Reaper out barehanded (the Reaper can certainly try to beat me.) or some sort of question about my crew, go ahead and ask.

Again, as long as it's not a pointless waste of my time.

+

Shep bro, I need to ask you this bro because I think you and I are of the same bromentality. So I feel the need so ask you this brobing question, that only a true bro could answer bro. Who would you rather be your best bro, Batman or Thor. I'm counting on you to answer bro, be broficient in answering these bro. Later, bro.

Well if I had Batman and Garrus on my team, I basically have two Batmans on my team.

So Batman.

rhizhim:
who was your favorite Yeoman?

Samantha Traynor _________________________________________or__________Kelly Chambers?

On the one hand Kelly fed my fish... On the other Samantha played board games with me.

She may have won at chess, but I won at Foosball.

Dango:
Who's your favorite pony?

Derpy Hooves. She too was hidden from the view of others and censored because of how she was born...

*Sniffs*

Poor Derpy.

Renegade Shepard:
Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Really Shepard? Does this seem familiar to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OygPZDVTxuc (2:18)

How do you feel about using money, given to you by the Alliance for the war effort, to buy fish?

I am Harbinger:

Renegade Shepard:
Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Really Shepard? Does this seem familiar to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OygPZDVTxuc (2:18)

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

TheOneBearded:
How do you feel about using money, given to you by the Alliance for the war effort, to buy fish?

I feel fine about it. I'm just getting those fish to safety by taking them from their dangerous environments to safe aboard the Normandy. Where no fish ever die... Or at least, I don't see the bodies.

If it wasn't for me those fish would be dead by Cerberus' hands!

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Pics or it didn't happen.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

TheOneBearded:

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I am Harbinger:

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I don't like you Harbinger, you know that? Your think your all that.... But you aren't.

Fieldy409:

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I don't like you Harbinger, you know that? Your think your all that.... But you aren't.

We are superior, you are inferior. This is fact.

kman123:
This is the greatest thread ever.

I know, right?

OT: Please tell me the picture on your desk isn't actual Tali's face. I mean, come on, don't you agree she looks way too much like that internet stock photo?

On a second note, how does she look like?

Also, do you play video-games, Shepard?

If yes, what's your favorite video-game?

How do you feel about Diablo III? C:

rhizhim:
snip>

I'm going to have to go with Traynor

Kelly was nice and all..but.....I think she had a thing for Varren..or anything that was alive

Jaeke:
Hey ParaFemShep... I think I found those extranet files on RenegadeShep you were talking about

ah yes...not surprising at all

I actually enjoy "Battle Tits" now and again..call it a guilty pleasure

Ugly Shepard:
snip

Look ugg I have to-

wha?..really?

holy crap man, thats AMAZING!

TheOneBearded:
How do you feel about using money, given to you by the Alliance for the war effort, to buy fish?

they don't know..I put it down under "ship enhancements"

and it does make my quaters look rather pimp...if you'll excuse the terminology

GameMaNiAC:

OT: Please tell me the picture on your desk isn't actual Tali's face. I mean, come on, don't you agree she looks way too much like that internet stock photo?

On a second note, how does she look like?

Also, do you play video-games, Shepard?

If yes, what's your favorite video-game?

How do you feel about Diablo III? C:

1. its fake..Tali is actually less....."humanoid" (beware the fangs...)

2. I play the ocasion video game..I really like Grim Terminus Alliance....like the part where you can be a slaver

as for Diablo 3 Im giving it a miss..as I said before my extranet conection gets rather hazy out in space

Hectix777:

Shep bro, I need to ask you this bro because I think you and I are of the same bromentality. So I feel the need so ask you this brobing question, that only a true bro could answer bro. Who would you rather be your best bro, Batman or Thor. I'm counting on you to answer bro, be broficient in answering these bro. Later, bro.

god...this amount of "Element-Bro" in the body is hazardous....it'll cause serious brain damage...

I sugest you seek help

round 2: doctors

Dr. Karin Chakwas _________________________________________or__________Dr. Chloe Michel?

image
image

who
is
the
better
doctor?

vs

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Dr. Karin Chakwas is your good old loyal med bay doctor that went through thick and thin with you. she has been on ships as long as she can think

good old rusty but trusty staff member, or disused tool that needs a infinite vacation in the medical waste bin?

vs

Dr. Chloe Michel

she is young. she is fresh. she lets you steal find medical supplies to help those in need on the citadel.
she makes the recovering of your genius friend who charged a machine, Ashley/Kaidan a personal matter.
she likes walks in the park, chocolates, administering medi-gel and has always 'flexibility' and 'extra fluid med gel' for Garrus.

balm for the eyes or herpes on your ship?

Who Is The Better Doctor?

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