Ask Commander Shepard!

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Renegade Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:

Vault101:
snip...

why are you answering my questions?

Nice save.

Hmmm..... *strokes chin*

Shepard how do you feel about sheep?

Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

Paragon Shepard:

conmag9:
Paragon Shep,

I realize that the whole "saving trillions of lives" thing warrants a reward on the scale of a custom paradise planet, but I'm not exactly rolling in credits here. However, I'm sending my grandmothers fantastic banana bread recipe, given your expressed interest. My advice is to keep it under lock and key, as it HAS been known to cause (and subsequently end) small wars over its possession. It's just that tasty!

If you had to rename the Normandy, what would you call it?

Renegade Shep,

What was your favorite interrupt throughout the series?

thank you so much! this will definetly lift morale,

if you die from a reaper attack you'll get a spot on the memorial wall

anyway, after the events of ME2 I would rename it "The Asylum"

No problem. And Asylum makes sense. Still, look at your team in the third game. You've got a space cop turned vigilante, an unshackled AI in a hijacked body, the cutest admiral on record, the Shadow Broker, the last living Prothean, the second human spectre and...well, Vega, but he's still a pretty cool guy. I'm fairly certain you've amassed what could be the LEAST likely group of epic asskickers in history, so congradulations.

What's your prefered excercise regimen?

Also, would you like to borrow my Cain for the above poster?

Paragon Shepard:

Ugly Shepard:

Hi Paragon! And actually I already have plenty of fish. It's just that they don't last long in my tank when I take them out of their packaging.

As for helmets, well, you need to appreciate how much time I've spent trying to find one which fits. I've been considering those Krogan designs, they seem to have the right idea.

thats..thats a really good Idea

hey, I know you kind of went through a rough patch with that Assari...you know, I hear aparently SHE actually wasnt aware that she was "your girlfrend" Im sure it was just a misunderstanding

anyway I know this might seem odd but I got the number of this girl you might be interested in...she's a vorcha, yes I know youve never done anything like that, but I think you need too....to perhaps keep an open mind and she's really keen (and really sweet..for a vorcha)

As"s"ari? Alright, no doubt this is vault101, refer to early post! Hah, I see right through you, Paragon Shepard... or should I say... GARRUS?

I got some fan mail today!

Renegade Shepard:

bigfatcarp93:
Oh, should I fucking "deal with it", you ass? Is this how you get your kicks, just ruining people's days online? Why don't you drop your whole unfunny schtick and get off the Escapist. This community's too good for pieces of shit like you.

No.

Fieldy409:
Shepard how do you feel about sheep?

That pun killed my hamster.

I hope you're happy.

Master Chief:

Renegade Shepard:

Oh god, it's you.

I am here, willing to assist. I thought I would mix things up.

You know who they're going to blame for all these video game characters popping up on The Escapist?

It's going to be me.

And they'd be right, because it would be my fault.

I thought I was being original, here.

Oh no I'm so sorry Shepard. What was the hamsters name?

Maybe you can get Miranda to make it a zombie robot like you?

Renegade Shepard:

You know who they're going to blame for all these video game characters popping up on The Escapist?

It's going to be me.

And they'd be right, because it would be my fault.

I thought I was being original, here.

People will whine and whine, but we're the true soldiers, they should respect us... I finished the fight (for now...) and you well... Ended it, somewhat.

Shepard, how do you feel about... me being a DLC character?

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Fijiman:
How's Ugly Shepard doing?

I'm not really sure..I haven't heard from after he ran off to go see that assari on Omega

Master Chief:
Renegade Shepard, Cortana told me about your ending situation, I think I could help.

....WHO are you?

Fieldy409:

Shepard how do you feel about sheep?

umm...a domesticated animal used for meat and wool? I don't really

ohhhh..I see, everyones a comedian arnt they?

conmag9:

What's your prefered excercise regimen?

Also, would you like to borrow my Cain for the above poster?

excercise? I get enough exercise on the battlefeild

I just play Grim Terminus Alliance on the big screen in my quarters

and yes I would....

Jeffrey Crall:
As"s"ari? Alright, no doubt this is vault101, refer to early post! Hah, I see right through you, Paragon Shepard... or should I say... GARRUS?

Ive had enough of your snide insinuations....

Renegade Shepard:

That pun killed my hamster.

I hope you're happy.

.

Fieldy409:
Oh no I'm so sorry Shepard. What was the hamsters name?

Maybe you can get Miranda to make it a zombie robot like you?

Incidently my hamster is fine...her name is Starkiller

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Ha! I build the Reapers, im not scared of anything...Wait, what was that? Oh it was just my Antimater Hair Spray(AHS for short). I think it just destroyed something... Ill have to create an entirely new sentient machine "species" just to clean up this whole mess... I hope your`e happy!

Fieldy409:
Oh no I'm so sorry Shepard. What was the hamsters name?

Maybe you can get Miranda to make it a zombie robot like you?

Boo.

Poor little guy...

Master Chief:

Renegade Shepard:

You know who they're going to blame for all these video game characters popping up on The Escapist?

It's going to be me.

And they'd be right, because it would be my fault.

I thought I was being original, here.

People will whine and whine, but we're the true soldiers, they should respect us... I finished the fight (for now...) and you well... Ended it, somewhat.

Shepard, how do you feel about... me being a DLC character?

I'm more disturbed by the fact your having a fourth game.

I thought trilogies were supposed to come in three's.

Not fours.

Paragon Shepard:

Ive had enough of your snide insinuations....

Hey, give me back my thesaurus.

who was your favorite Yeoman?

Samantha Traynor _________________________________________or__________Kelly Chambers?

image
image

who
is
the
better
Yeoman/
lover?

vs

Samantha wouldn't put out.

That upsters me, because that goddamn accent....

But Kelly, sure is flexible.

I'll be a stick in the mud and promote equality.

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

Harbinger is my long lost twin brother digitalized in to cyberspace with space waffle thechnology,and inserted in to a Reaper body.He was going through his goth faze, hence the whole "Salvation through destruction" thing. I just told him to kill stuff every once in a while.But he really had retched aim, i mean , not killing shepard with a direct reaper beam to the chest? Thats just sad.

hino77:

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

Harbinger is my long lost twin brother digitalized in to cyberspace with space waffle thechnology,and inserted in to a Reaper body.He was going through his goth faze, hence the whole "Salvation through destruction" thing. I just told him to kill stuff every once in a while.But he really had retched aim, i mean , not killing shepard with a direct reaper beam to the chest? Thats just sad.

It's not my fault you gave me a lousy targeting system.

Renegade Shepard:
I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm giving you a one time deal.

Remember this old fad on the website? Well I'm joining it late.

So ask me a question and I'll try to answer it if it's not a pointless waste of my time.

So if you're wondering if I can take a Reaper out barehanded (the Reaper can certainly try to beat me.) or some sort of question about my crew, go ahead and ask.

Again, as long as it's not a pointless waste of my time.

+

Shep bro, I need to ask you this bro because I think you and I are of the same bromentality. So I feel the need so ask you this brobing question, that only a true bro could answer bro. Who would you rather be your best bro, Batman or Thor. I'm counting on you to answer bro, be broficient in answering these bro. Later, bro.

Hey ParaFemShep... I think I found those extranet files on RenegadeShep you were talking about

Paragon Shepard:

Fijiman:
How's Ugly Shepard doing?

I'm not really sure..I haven't heard from after he ran off to go see that assari on Omega

Hey, I'm back! Funny thing about that Asari... Morinth, that was her name. Anyway, yeah, she seemed to be really into me (I think it was because of all the aliens I punched, maybe she was into that kind of thing) and so she took me back to her place. We were getting really cozy, she cuddles up to me and does that freaky eye thing... Next thing I know she's dead on the floor.

Samara finds out... I didn't listen to the whole explanation, but she said that my "anti-charisma was too strong for her powers", or something. Weirdly she didn't seem all that pissed about her daughter being dead. Apparently she even wants to introduce me to loads of single Asari all over the galaxy who are like her daughter. Dunno why. Maybe something will turn up, huh?

George Francis Gaspar:

I am Harbinger:

hino77:
Shepard, i will reward you for answering all those questions.I will reveal to you a secret i never reaveald before.I created the Reapers.And the Starchildgodkid.And the Massthingis.And i did all that , just to see the look on the face of the guy who would come all this way, just to find out that all his choices,all his sacrifices, end in a pick one colour explosion.Ahahahahhahahaha.I have to congratulate you tho, i had to wait so many years for that cosmic joke to have a payoff.I was so bored...

You do realize this means you created a sentient race of very powerful death-machines, who, in two thirds of the possible outcomes, are now free to hunt you down and make you suffer for making us look like complete and utter fools? By the way, if you hear a loud crashing sound, that's just the three dozen Destroyers is sent to do just that landing outside your house. They're just as angry as I am.

Oh god...Harbinger be trolling the thread! Quickly Shepard(s)!!! Save us!

image

Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Hectix777:

Renegade Shepard:
I'm Commander Shepard, and I'm giving you a one time deal.

Remember this old fad on the website? Well I'm joining it late.

So ask me a question and I'll try to answer it if it's not a pointless waste of my time.

So if you're wondering if I can take a Reaper out barehanded (the Reaper can certainly try to beat me.) or some sort of question about my crew, go ahead and ask.

Again, as long as it's not a pointless waste of my time.

+

Shep bro, I need to ask you this bro because I think you and I are of the same bromentality. So I feel the need so ask you this brobing question, that only a true bro could answer bro. Who would you rather be your best bro, Batman or Thor. I'm counting on you to answer bro, be broficient in answering these bro. Later, bro.

Well if I had Batman and Garrus on my team, I basically have two Batmans on my team.

So Batman.

rhizhim:
who was your favorite Yeoman?

Samantha Traynor _________________________________________or__________Kelly Chambers?

On the one hand Kelly fed my fish... On the other Samantha played board games with me.

She may have won at chess, but I won at Foosball.

Dango:
Who's your favorite pony?

Derpy Hooves. She too was hidden from the view of others and censored because of how she was born...

*Sniffs*

Poor Derpy.

Renegade Shepard:
Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Really Shepard? Does this seem familiar to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OygPZDVTxuc (2:18)

How do you feel about using money, given to you by the Alliance for the war effort, to buy fish?

I am Harbinger:

Renegade Shepard:
Harbinger can't hurt a fly.

Really Shepard? Does this seem familiar to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OygPZDVTxuc (2:18)

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

TheOneBearded:
How do you feel about using money, given to you by the Alliance for the war effort, to buy fish?

I feel fine about it. I'm just getting those fish to safety by taking them from their dangerous environments to safe aboard the Normandy. Where no fish ever die... Or at least, I don't see the bodies.

If it wasn't for me those fish would be dead by Cerberus' hands!

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Pics or it didn't happen.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

TheOneBearded:

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I have a question for you Harbinger. At the end of ME 2, we get to see a massive fleet of Reaper dreadnoughts. So, where did they all go? All we have to fight are your husks and pussier Reaper destroyers and those weren't fun to kill. No wonder Renegade Shepard killed all of you (allegedly) in the end.

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

I am Harbinger:

Did you see all those starships getting blown up and worlds being conquered? We were busy doing that Across an Entire Galaxy.

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I don't like you Harbinger, you know that? Your think your all that.... But you aren't.

Fieldy409:

I am Harbinger:

TheOneBearded:

Ah yes, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy." More like, "busy doing that across the Entire Galaxy on planets Shepard just happens to not be on.

See: Earth and Thessia.

I don't like you Harbinger, you know that? Your think your all that.... But you aren't.

We are superior, you are inferior. This is fact.

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