Ask Commander Shepard!

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Fieldy409:

Meryl Streep? Did Cerberus bring her back to life too?

No...Meryl Streep is eternal

Matthew94:
snip.

Renegade Shepard:
snip.

Gentlemen...lets be civil here

Rensehp, I think Mathew94 feels this has gotten out of hand, with little disscussion value and an silly "nero thread" that won't go away and is clogging up the "off topic", is that correct?

where as Renshep feels that the thread is merely for entertainment and isnt harming anyone, nor is it in Violation of any rules

now lets talk about how this makes us feel....

Paragon Shepard:

G Vakarian:

Garrus..stop boring the fans with your gun talk

joking...I'm not renshep :P

Commander, it is a big gun that shoots molten metal in order to cause damage comparable to the main weapon of ships over a hundred times the Normandy's size, I dare you to name one thing that is boring about that.

G Vakarian:
Commander, it is a big gun that shoots molten metal in order to cause damage comparable to the main weapon of ships over a hundred times the Normandy's size, I dare you to name one thing that is boring about that.

that may be true..but
Garrus...all I ever hear is "calibrations" you never seem to want to talk about other things :(

Paragon Shepard:
snip

I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

G Vakarian:

Paragon Shepard:

G Vakarian:
Commander, it is a big gun that shoots molten metal in order to cause damage comparable to the main weapon of ships over a hundred times the Normandy's size, I dare you to name one thing that is boring about that.

that may be true..but
Garrus...all I ever hear is "calibrations" you never seem to want to talk about other things :(

I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

Speaking of thermal clips, what happened to all those guns Shepard had when he/she fought Saren that could fire millions of shots without having to worry about ejecting thermal clips?

G Vakarian:

Paragon Shepard:
snip

I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

oh..the report *cough* yes I did it was very good, A+

Fieldy409:

Speaking of thermal clips, what happened to all those guns Shepard had when he/she fought Saren that could fire millions of shots without having to worry about ejecting thermal clips?

it was a controversial upgrade, on one hand it allowed for better fire rate and faster combat

on the other it did create somthing of a supply issue

I supose it comes down to personal prefernece, nothing more annoying than waiting for my gun to cool down while being swamed by husks

Fieldy409:

G Vakarian:

Paragon Shepard:

that may be true..but
Garrus...all I ever hear is "calibrations" you never seem to want to talk about other things :(

I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

Speaking of thermal clips, what happened to all those guns Shepard had when he/she fought Saren that could fire millions of shots without having to worry about ejecting thermal clips?

That was an upgrade I had mixed feelings about. The idea was to reduce the time a combatant would have to spend hiding and waiting for the heat sink to redistribute the thermal energy it stored, which was admittedly a big pain in the ass for some fights, particularly with shock troops like the husks.

It certainly did solve that issue, keeping up a constant field of fire is much easier now, but for extended engagements, it also has its downsides. Particularly for someone like me, I never had much trouble with overheating in a fight, since I found out long ago that killing effectively and quickly means pacing your shots from moment to moment, not just holding the trigger down.

I was convinced that there was a middle ground we could exploit, but between the collectors and then the reaper invasion, we were just a bit busy.

Paragon Shepard:

G Vakarian:

Paragon Shepard:
snip

I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

oh..the report *cough* yes I did it was very good, A+

Glad to hear it, EDI certainly seemed impressed. I think I can get a bit more out of it though, just a little more tweaking then I'll be done, I swear.

Knife-28:

Good, good...
*Continues to tinker with ponyfication ray*

So, any interesting story's you'ld like to share?

You have a ponyfication ray? Fire that thing at Bowser.
...No reason.

Anyway, Shepards: MASS DEFECT by Kitty0706. Just going to put that out there.

G Vakarian:
Commander, it is a big gun that shoots molten metal in order to cause damage comparable to the main weapon of ships over a hundred times the Normandy's size, I dare you to name one thing that is boring about that.

I could possibly name a few things boring about that... until it fires that is. That's when the fun begins.

At the Sheps: where have you guys been for the last week or so? Vacation?

Why is it when you use cheese pick up lines and awkward plights to women, they fall for you, but not anyone who isn't Jake Gyllenhaal?
I'm calling bioware bs on that.


(Case in point with 'dat smile)
EDIT
And to you, Garrus,
Is Calibrating those damn guns more important than talking to me when we only use them twice in ME2?
I mean, seriously!

MASTACHIEFPWN:

And to you, Garrus,
Is Calibrating those damn guns more important than talking to me when we only use them twice in ME2?
I mean, seriously!

Why yes, yes it is. It takes a lot of work to keep a warship in top shape you know, those guns in particular are a pain as I mentioned before.

Fijiman:

At the Sheps: where have you guys been for the last week or so? Vacation?

as I mentioned before there was an incident involving a corrupt hanar extranet seller and one of my purchaseses....lets just say it got complicated

Jailbird408:
[
Anyway, Shepards: MASS DEFECT by Kitty0706. Just going to put that out there.

one of those "parody" things? I'm never in them...and they give me a headache

G Vakarian:
]Why yes, yes it is. It takes a lot of work to keep a warship in top shape you know, those guns in particular are a pain as I mentioned before.

Garrus.....I think you have a problem

G Vakarian:

Fieldy409:

G Vakarian:
I'm sorry, what was that? cleaning out my sniper rifle, bits of husk somehow got jammed into the thermal clip port.

By the way, have you read the latest report I gave on the weapon systems? I squeezed another 0.52% efficiency out of the GARDIAN laser banks.

Speaking of thermal clips, what happened to all those guns Shepard had when he/she fought Saren that could fire millions of shots without having to worry about ejecting thermal clips?

That was an upgrade I had mixed feelings about. The idea was to reduce the time a combatant would have to spend hiding and waiting for the heat sink to redistribute the thermal energy it stored, which was admittedly a big pain in the ass for some fights, particularly with shock troops like the husks.

It certainly did solve that issue, keeping up a constant field of fire is much easier now, but for extended engagements, it also has its downsides. Particularly for someone like me, I never had much trouble with overheating in a fight, since I found out long ago that killing effectively and quickly means pacing your shots from moment to moment, not just holding the trigger down.

I was convinced that there was a middle ground we could exploit, but between the collectors and then the reaper invasion, we were just a bit busy.

You guys didnt even keep one of the old style weapons though. Id have made sure to keep one of the old pistols as a sidearm at least. I mean what are you going to do when your up against a couple of hundred husks and your down to your last clip? Use it up and go for melee combat?

Fieldy409:

You guys didnt even keep one of the old style weapons though. Id have made sure to keep one of the old pistols as a sidearm at least. I mean what are you going to do when your up against a couple of hundred husks and your down to your last clip? Use it up and go for melee combat?

well...they certainly made vast improvements to the omni-blade combat system

Shepard, do you find it funny that the greatest threat to humanity is built in the shape of a giant cuttlefish? Even the name of the animal sounds cute.

This is for Renegade Shepard, since I believe he's the one who could answer this question (maybe Garrus as well, but the threqd is "ask commander Shepard); What does a female Turian look like?

TheOneBearded:
Shepard, do you find it funny that the greatest threat to humanity is built in the shape of a giant cuttlefish? Even the name of the animal sounds cute.

After seeing the abominations the reapers created out of the captured humans, and then those from my own species and others, I find very little about them to be amusing.

Besides, if I recall correctly, a cuttlefish is a highly effective, toxic, and often cannibalistic predator that sets ambushes for its chosen prey. Aside from the scale, I'd say the connection isn't terribly out of place.

SecretNegative:
This is for Renegade Shepard, since I believe he's the one who could answer this question (maybe Garrus as well, but the threqd is "ask commander Shepard); What does a female Turian look like?

Why, I am female, couldn't you tell?

Heh, seriously, you may find the answer disappointing. Our females are slightly shorter by only a few inches on average, they also lack the bony crests we males display. Other than that, there are few differences other species can spot, even when nude.

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:

You guys didnt even keep one of the old style weapons though. Id have made sure to keep one of the old pistols as a sidearm at least. I mean what are you going to do when your up against a couple of hundred husks and your down to your last clip? Use it up and go for melee combat?

well...they certainly made vast improvements to the omni-blade combat system

That omniblade thing too... How's that work? Since when can you stab somebody with a hologram?

Fieldy409:

Paragon Shepard:

well...they certainly made vast improvements to the omni-blade combat system

That omniblade thing too... How's that work? Since when can you stab somebody with a hologram?

You can't, at least not yet

Each omnitool comes equipped with a miniaturized fabricator. When triggered, it flash forges a silicon carbide blade and uses a mass effect field to hold it in place.

G Vakarian:

TheOneBearded:
Shepard, do you find it funny that the greatest threat to humanity is built in the shape of a giant cuttlefish? Even the name of the animal sounds cute.

After seeing the abominations the reapers created out of the captured humans, and then those from my own species and others, I find very little about them to be amusing.

Besides, if I recall correctly, a cuttlefish is a highly effective, toxic, and often cannibalistic predator that sets ambushes for its chosen prey. Aside from the scale, I'd say the connection isn't terribly out of place.

They are also small and nice to look at as you poke the glass at an aquarium. Seriously, Garrus, pull that stick out of your ass. You're a real downer.

TheOneBearded:

G Vakarian:

TheOneBearded:
Shepard, do you find it funny that the greatest threat to humanity is built in the shape of a giant cuttlefish? Even the name of the animal sounds cute.

After seeing the abominations the reapers created out of the captured humans, and then those from my own species and others, I find very little about them to be amusing.

Besides, if I recall correctly, a cuttlefish is a highly effective, toxic, and often cannibalistic predator that sets ambushes for its chosen prey. Aside from the scale, I'd say the connection isn't terribly out of place.

They are also small and nice to look at as you poke the glass at an aquarium. Seriously, Garrus, pull that stick out of your ass. You're a real downer.

If we happened to be the size of a small moon and lived in an environment the reapers couldn't survive in, we might think they were cute as well.

Just because circumstances render a threat harmless to you does not change its nature.

Joker seems to be of the opinion that I've already dealt with that stick. Might want to ask him what I'm doing with it.

Have you guys ever had a day like this?

Renegade Shepard, did you keep the glowing scars or did you get surgery to be smooth skinned?

TheOneBearded:
Renegade Shepard, did you keep the glowing scars or did you get surgery to be smooth skinned?

From the looks of his picture he got the surgery. It might just be an archive photo though.

THIS THREAD WILL NOT DIE!
Shepards, have you ever gotten into trouble for declaring every store on the Citadel to be your favorite store on the citadel?

Jailbird408:
THIS THREAD WILL NOT DIE!

It doesn't help when none of the Sheps show up to comment.

Oh jesus. First everyone's cooing over Wreck-it Ralph because lolreferences, now the Shepards have gone MIA? The Escapist is dying.

To Parashep and Garrus:

How did the two of you avoid chafing? Did you remember to use Mordin's ointment? And, most importantly, did you Shepard, remember not to ingest?

Oh, you're back.

So tell me Shepard, what do you think about the Council?
And What is the most embarrassing moment you endured?
Worst injury?

The Jakeinator:
Oh, you're back.

So tell me Shepard, what do you think about the Council?
And What is the most embarrassing moment you endured?
Worst injury?

image
image
image

Renegade Shepard:

G Vakarian:

Fieldy409:

That omniblade thing too... How's that work? Since when can you stab somebody with a hologram?

You can't, at least not yet

Each omnitool comes equipped with a miniaturized fabricator. When triggered, it flash forges a silicon carbide blade and uses a mass effect field to hold it in place.

Garrus, are you gonna be interesting or continue listing off trivia?

I'm a warrior, not a PR rep. Talking people to death was always more your thing.

Besides, he asked a serious question, one that deserved an answer.

EDIT: Damn it Shepard, you swore you got rid of that picture.

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