Ask Commander Shepard!

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TheOneBearded:
Shepard, have you punched Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani in the face in all three encounters or was it just me? She was asking for it, I tell you!

Punching, kicking, and/or headbutting Al-Jilani mid interview is a bit of a galactic pastime these days. I'm surprised that Pshep has kept her cool around that reporter for so long. I'm also surprised that Al-Jilani is on her feet, much less still working, after that thing with the krogan.

dalek sec:
So Shepards, have any of you seen any movies lately and if so what were you favorites?

Damn, this thread is still going? :D

I am being continually pestered to take part in at least a half dozen different movies, mostly as myself, but one script I was shown required stripping down and oiling up, something about a few hundred primitive turians making a last stand...

As for movies I've watched lately, I've actually been watching classic films from various cultures. An old human series from the 2060's by your calender has been particularly enjoyable. This batman character kind of reminds me of me, bit naively idealistic though.

Renegade Shepard:

dalek sec:
So Shepards, have any of you seen any movies lately and if so what were you favorites?

Damn, this thread is still going? :D

Uh...well, they're making a movie about how I saved the Galaxy. I'm gonna watch that.

Also I'm going to be an undercover cop in the next Blasto movie, so I guess I'll watch that too.

They're still willing to work with you? I would have thought they would have called it off after you gave their star a nervous breakdown.

Renegade Shepard:

image

Jealousy, maybe?

I am Commander Shepard, after all.

No.
Its because you go around the galaxy doing fuck all while I'm squatting in this whatever-the-hell and at any moment I could be ripped in half, melted, go insane, or think I am a toaster.
You get praise.
And what do I get? Nothing.

D-Class 198482:

Renegade Shepard:

image

Jealousy, maybe?

I am Commander Shepard, after all.

No.
Its because you go around the galaxy doing fuck all while I'm squatting in this whatever-the-hell and at any moment I could be ripped in half, melted, go insane, or think I am a toaster.
You get praise.
And what do I get? Nothing.

Because you don't deserve anything.

Renegade Shepard:

Because you don't deserve anything.

I may be a criminal but you are a renegade and you wouldn't last ten seconds in front of a Euclid. And not even a nanosecond in front of a Keter. Look at you, Commander, making yourself out to be high and mighty when I have to do worse crap than you will even stare at.

D-Class 198482:

Renegade Shepard:

Because you don't deserve anything.

I may be a criminal but you are a renegade and you wouldn't last ten seconds in front of a Euclid. And not even a nanosecond in front of a Keter. Look at you, Commander, making yourself out to be high and mighty when I have to do worse crap than you will even stare at.

image

Let's just make this topic about you, person no one's ever heard about.

Renegade Shepard:
Snip

There is a burning orphanage across the street, and only YOU can save the children!

What do you do?

Not G. Ivingname:

Renegade Shepard:
Snip

There is a burning orphanage across the street, and only YOU can save the children!

What do you do?

Put the fire out.

With my fists.

Renegade Shepard:

image

Let's just make this topic about you, person no one's ever heard about.

Of course, Commander. I'll simply be over here staring unflinchingly at the Earths worst enemies, no biggie. You go on with your life of driving through space and fucking aliens.

I'm sorry, I can'

D-Class 198482:

Renegade Shepard:

image

Let's just make this topic about you, person no one's ever heard about.

Of course, Commander. I'll simply be over here staring unflinchingly at the Earths worst enemies, no biggie. You go on with your life of driving through space and fucking aliens.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me saving the whole galaxy.

Hear anything from Para Shep recently?

Renegade Shepard:

I don't have a house on Earth.

I was a colony kid.

And then my whole family was murdered by Batarians.

That was also the day I killed my first Batarian.

Ah....the memories.

...Then who's goddamn house did you sell?

dalek sec:
So Shepards, have any of you seen any movies lately and if so what were you favorites?

Damn, this thread is still going? :D

Don't watch many movies, myself. Hollywood's been going downhill ever since 2077.

G Vakarian:

As for movies I've watched lately, I've actually been watching classic films from various cultures. An old human series from the 2060's by your calender has been particularly enjoyable. This batman character kind of reminds me of me, bit naively idealistic though.

Really? I had you figured for more of a Punisher fan.

D-Class 198482:

I may be a criminal but you are a renegade and you wouldn't last ten seconds in front of a Euclid. And not even a nanosecond in front of a Keter. Look at you, Commander, making yourself out to be high and mighty when I have to do worse crap than you will even stare at.

I'm pretty sure Reapers would be Keter-class if Cerberus hadn't wiped out the foundation years ago.

By the way, looks like you've got about a week left to live; best enjoy it while you can.

Not G. Ivingname:

There is a burning orphanage across the street, and only YOU can save the children!

What do you do?

Ah, that takes me back.

I'd been hired to track down and kill the CEO of a company called 'Umbrella'. I and some of my mates tracked him down to an old orphanage, which he had converted into some kind of virology lab. I'm not entirely sure why; seems rather pointlessly cruel to me, but whatever. He refused to come out and his own guards were well-entrenched, so I decided to scrap the entire goddamn plan and just burn the place down with him inside it.

Most of the kids were probably dead already anyway.

Anyway, to answer your question, I'd apparently order my men to feed the flames and shoot anyone who tried to leave.

Fijiman:
Hear anything from Para Shep recently?

She seems to be giving me the cold shoulder now that she's a reaper god. None of my attempts at communication have worked; one of my mates suggested goddamn prayer... I might actually give that a try when nobody else is around.

Commander Shepard, over the past few months I've noticed people on forums started editing their posts with responses to posts coming after them, resulting in a rather confusing and out of order list of posts in threads. What do?

Fijiman:
Hear anything from Para Shep recently?

No, good thing too, can't understand a word she says. Have you seen her grammar? Yeesh.

Zaeed Massani:
Snip

I didn't sell anything, I'm living off royalties, I don't need to sell a thing.

BlazeRaider:
Commander Shepard, over the past few months I've noticed people on forums started editing their posts with responses to posts coming after them, resulting in a rather confusing and out of order list of posts in threads. What do?

Slap them upside the head for being dumb.

Or if they're a Batarian shoot them.

In the kneecap.

Also, unrelated news, me and Gav from Miracle of Sound started hanging out.

Yeah, he looks up to me. Can't blame him. He's a good kid.

For a guy in his 20's I mean.

Zaeed Massani:

G Vakarian:

As for movies I've watched lately, I've actually been watching classic films from various cultures. An old human series from the 2060's by your calender has been particularly enjoyable. This batman character kind of reminds me of me, bit naively idealistic though.

Really? I had you figured for more of a Punisher fan.

Too indiscriminate and too blinded by rage. I can easily get behind killing and worse, when and where serves a purpose, but that guy is even worse than his enemies in some ways.

Renegade Shepard:

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me saving the whole galaxy.

By 'saving the galaxy' you mean 'DOING ALIENS'? Yeah. And I can't hear you over the sound of the GIANT THING CHASING MY ASS AWAY FROM HIS CHAMBER THAT IS TRYING TO RIP THE DOOR DOWN AND SUCCEDING.
bloody containment breaches

Zaeed Massani:

I'm pretty sure Reapers would be Keter-class if Cerberus hadn't wiped out the foundation years ago.

By the way, looks like you've got about a week left to live; best enjoy it while you can.

Try putting them in front of mister "EVERYTHING EXCEPT ME IS DISGUSTING" and see how long a Reaper will last.
And hell, the Foundation is still up and running. I know this because "EVERYTHING EXCEPT ME IS DISGUSTING" IS TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE DOOR.
A week to live. There aren't enough rations in here for a week, ha.

D-Class 198482:

Renegade Shepard:

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me saving the whole galaxy.

By 'saving the galaxy' you mean 'DOING ALIENS'? Yeah. And I can't hear you over the sound of the GIANT THING CHASING MY ASS AWAY FROM HIS CHAMBER THAT IS TRYING TO RIP THE DOOR DOWN AND SUCCEDING.
bloody containment breaches

I'm multi-talented.

Renegade Shepard:

I'm multi-talented.

M'kay, thats nice. Still locked in a room with Mister "EVERYTHING IS DISGUSTING" banging on the door.

...I have said some STUPID things in this thread that I am not proud of. You probably don't want to hear about ponies ever again, do you?
I thought so. Anyway, who is best pony?
image

Jailbird408:
...I have said some STUPID things in this thread that I am not proud of. You probably don't want to hear about ponies ever again, do you?
I thought so. Anyway, who is best pony?
image

He's already answered that one, actually.

Zaeed Massani:

Jailbird408:
...I have said some STUPID things in this thread that I am not proud of. You probably don't want to hear about ponies ever again, do you?
I thought so. Anyway, who is best pony?
image

He's already answered that one, actually.

Wow, that's just sad. Who knew Renegade Shepard was into that stuff?

Zaeed Massani:

Jailbird408:
...I have said some STUPID things in this thread that I am not proud of. You probably don't want to hear about ponies ever again, do you?
I thought so. Anyway, who is best pony?
image

He's already answered that one, actually.

A FORGERY.
These words came out of Mark Meer's mouth during a convention. They do not in any way represent the opinion of our beloved Renegade.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go go whine about how much the Olympics suck.

Jailbird408:
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go go whine about how much the Olympics suck.

I'm getting very confused on how one would go go whine. Care to explain?

Fijiman:

Jailbird408:
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go go whine about how much the Olympics suck.

I'm getting very confused on how one would go go whine. Care to explain?

I'm starting a thread about it right now, actually. Be ready to set it on fire.

Jailbird408:

Fijiman:

Jailbird408:
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go go whine about how much the Olympics suck.

I'm getting very confused on how one would go go whine. Care to explain?

I'm starting a thread about it right now, actually. Be ready to set it on fire.

Let me get my things and I'll be right there.Let's see... gasoline? Check. Flamethrower? Got it. Napalm? Oh god damn it. I might be a while though.

Jailbird408:
Snip

Applejack is best pony, mainly because I like southern accents. Don't come across them in space very much.

But ponies are still Joker's thing. I could care less about it.

Still, southern accents. Damn.

TheOneBearded:
Snip goddamn it why won't this guy just stop talking already he's looking like such an ass.

Hey.

If anything, that endorsement made me popular with half the internet.

Granted, the other half no hates me, but then they remember I'm Commander Shepard.

Good to see that you haven't died... again. Your sister still seems to be MIA though.

Fijiman:
Good to see that you haven't died... again. Your sister still seems to be MIA though.

Well, ParaShep probably didn't take the destroy ending, so she's either dead or a spacegod.

Either way, we're not likely to hear from her again.

Renegade Shepard:

TheOneBearded:
Snip goddamn it why won't this guy just stop talking already he's looking like such an ass.

Hey.

If anything, that endorsement made me popular with half the internet.

Granted, the other half no hates me, but then they remember I'm Commander Shepard.

You just lost the right to make fun of ParaShep's bad grammar.
You can still do it: you'll just be a hypocrite.

If you could punch one of your teammates in the face without consequence (Not James, that's too easy), who would you punch? And I mean punch HARD; bloody face, spitting teeth hard.

DJ_DEnM:
If you could punch one of your teammates in the face without consequence (Not James, that's too easy), who would you punch? And I mean punch HARD; bloody face, spitting teeth hard.

That guy right above you.

Hey Shepard, you wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this would you?

Also, were you aware that someone is running around with the same avatar as you? Goes by Jackinmydaniels.

Commander Shepard, how do you feel about this thread literally lasting almost the entirety of Summer, back here on Earth?

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