Ask Commander Shepard!

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Fieldy409:
Shepard why do you only use a pistol in the cutscenes?

Mobility, I can't anticipate and react to whatever might come next as quickly if I have a big bulky assault rifle in my hands. My pistol is just as effective anyway

Paragon Shepard:

in fact I find it odd people assume that I'm willing to pair with anyone or anything

Dear P. Shep.:

The way I hear it, you are quite willing to pair with anyone or anything. I've talked to Joker and the rest of the crew. You make Captain Kirk look like a celibate monk. *Ducks from the incoming pistol fire*

On Topic:
To Either Shepard: If we were stranded on a deserted planet, how do you propose to get us off that rock and back to civilization?

To both shepards. What are your opinions on ponies? Are there any of the crew that are bronies? (I actually think Joker may be one, just seems the type)

Renegade Shepard:
snip

Hey, Shep, wanna be my herald? I have this surf board no one has used in a while...

Paragon Shepard:
Snip

Sorry Miss Shepard I was asking the worst side.

May I ask how do you feel about your badder and asshole male counter-part.

overpuce:

Paragon Shepard:

in fact I find it odd people assume that I'm willing to pair with anyone or anything

Dear P. Shep.:

The way I hear it, you are quite willing to pair with anyone or anything. I've talked to Joker and the rest of the crew. You make Captain Kirk look like a celibate monk. *Ducks from the incoming pistol fire*

On Topic:
To Either Shepard: If we were stranded on a deserted planet, how do you propose to get us off that rock and back to civilization?

all that's just made up by the media, I *may* have experimented with Turian/human intercourse but I DO care about who I choose to be in a relationship with, or to put it another way "I'm no space whore" thank you very much

now R.Shepard on the otherhand....did I mention that time there was a scale itch out-break out?

anyway send out some kind of signal beacon, or send a probe out to space

StormShaun:

Paragon Shepard:
Snip

Sorry Miss Shepard I was asking the worst side.

May I ask how do you feel about your badder and asshole male counter-part.

I think he is a reckless unstable asshole who's going to doom the galxy 10x over rather than save it

ToastiestZombie:
To both shepards. What are your opinions on ponies? Are there any of the crew that are bronies? (I actually think Joker may be one, just seems the type)

I do not know what this "pony" thing is..I asked Joker and he denied any interest in the show

now Grunt on the other hand, I think watches it ocasionally, Javik seemed somwhat interested too

Paragon Shepard:

StormShaun:

Paragon Shepard:
Snip

Sorry Miss Shepard I was asking the worst side.

May I ask how do you feel about your badder and asshole male counter-part.

I think he is a reckless unstable asshole who's going to doom the galxy 10x over rather than save it

ToastiestZombie:
To both shepards. What are your opinions on ponies? Are there any of the crew that are bronies? (I actually think Joker may be one, just seems the type)

I do not know what this "pony" thing is..I asked Joker and he denied any interest in the show

now Grunt on the other hand, I think watches it ocasionally, Javik seemed somwhat interested too

Oh yes I forgot! In the year 2185 ponies become extinct! Grunt may be watching really old recovered videos from 2010.

Dear P. Shep: How do you react to accusations that the SR2 Normandy wasting more tax credits than it is worth. It has become your glorifies space taxi while you are on your mission of cross species "experimentation?" What's your thoughts on the proposed renaming of the Normandy to "Bang Barge lulz?"

Another question: How do you react to accusations that you're the reason this war even started in the first place and you're nothing but a war monger?

overpuce:
Dear P. Shep: How do you react to accusations that the SR2 Normandy wasting more tax credits than it is worth. It has become your glorifies space taxi while you are on your mission of cross species "experimentation?" What's your thoughts on the proposed renaming of the Normandy to "Bang Ship lulz?"

Another question: How do you react to accusations that you're the reason this war even started in the first place and you're nothing but a war monger?

I'd like to point out that the SR2 has not cost the Alliance or tax payers an exhorbitant amount of money, the ship was paid for and built by cerberus and "donated" by me to the Alliance, its operation cost is outweighed by its benefit to the alliance navy and humanity in general

case in point...see those reapers outside your window? yeah, I hope your happy Im out there saving the galaxy now...

I don't know where this "proposal" to name the ship that came from. But I was not aware of that untill now, the Normandys name WILL remain the same

I would like to know who is making those accusations, they are rediculous and without evidence or credibility, it should be plane to everyone that I am COMANDER MOTHERFUCKING SHEPARD AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL SAVE YOUR ASS BITCH....*ahem* like I said, all my actions from eden prime onwards have been about one thing only: stopping the reapers

Cuts From Commerical
We now return to our interview with Paragon Shepard:

P. Shep: People are wondering, is there anything that the common person can do to assist you in your efforts to save the galaxy? Perhaps a care package to the crew? What would you, as the "savior" of the Alliance, want to see in your own care package?

Also on the mind of Alliance citizens, what makes you tick? What makes you wake up every morning to the sounds of impending galactic doom?

And finally, what do you have to say to those who say that the reapers are performing and essential function, culling civilizations before they get too big for their britches?

SHEPARD! WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!?

This is fucking fantastic.

overpuce:
Cuts From Commerical
We now return to our interview with Paragon Shepard:

P. Shep: People are wondering, is there anything that the common person can do to assist you in your efforts to save the galaxy? Perhaps a care package to the crew? What would you, as the "savior" of the Alliance, want to see in your own care package?

Also on the mind of Alliance citizens, what makes you tick? What makes you wake up every morning to the sounds of impending galactic doom?

And finally, what do you have to say to those who say that the reapers are performing and essential function, culling civilizations before they get too big for their britches?

Id say do whatever you can, fight, help those who are fighting..anything at all , if you belive somone is indoctrinated or working for cerberus aprehend them imedietly if you think you might be indoctrinated, then the sureest way is aplication of force trauma to the head with a firearm

as for care packages Energy drinks, Red bull not V (any Australians are wlecome to send Mother), some Itunes gift cards, and banana bread

what makes me tick?

when I look out, over the citadel..over earth. I don't just see a bunch of people...I see each person, I see an induvidual with a life, with loved ones, with hopes dreams and fears, it doesnt matter what species, or our differences we all have the force of life driving us, and thats somthing worth fighting for, no matter how dark the galaxy can be, no one has the right to take that away from us..THAT is what I fight for..for the ones close to me, and for everyone else

and banana bread

and for your last question..to those people I would say GO FUCK A VARREN!

thank you

Hey! Blueberry, Cherry, or Key lime pie?

Fieldy409:
SHEPARD! WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!?

banana bread

Ticonderoga117:
Hey! Blueberry, Cherry, or Key lime pie?

I would direct you to my first answer

Paragon Shepard:

I would direct you to my first answer

Excellent choice! Banana bread is awesome. I knew there was a reason I liked you more than that other one.

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
SHEPARD! WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!?

banana bread

WRONG! Conan! What is best in life?!?

In another question paragon shepard.....

Your hair is simply to die for girlfriend! Is that natural? What shampoo do you use? Whos your stylist?

Fieldy409:

Your hair is simply to die for girlfriend! Is that natural? What shampoo do you use? Whos your stylist?

hahaha thankyou,

I use standard Alliance issue shampoo (however a little secret I picked up is to add some red sand..really make the colur come out)

yes, my hair is natural, however I was never a fan of red, so I died it black previously, I decded I go back to red for a change, what with the war on I couldn't walk around with obvious roots

as for stylist? I dont have time for a styles (and no they would never put one on the normandy) this is really just me leaving it as is...what can I say?

How do you feel about the end of your story?

Sean Hollyman:
How do you feel about the end of your story?

*hhrrnnnk!*

we don't talk about that

I get seiuzures when we talk about that

Dear shepard
Why in the goddamn hell did you agree to work with cerberus? They're a pro-human terrorist organisation who have a greater human body count than any other group of things out there (present company excepted of course), they're hoplessly incompetent and TIM is an evil asshole.
Seriously, WTF?

Reet72:
Dear shepard
Why in the goddamn hell did you agree to work with cerberus? They're a pro-human terrorist organisation who have a greater human body count than any other group of things out there (present company excepted of course), they're hoplessly incompetent and TIM is an evil asshole.
Seriously, WTF?

with all due respect I wouldn't call bringing me back from the dead "incompetent".

I always had a bad feeling about TIM, I dont deny that, (somthing about him just really rubbed me the wrong way) but it was all about circumstance. At the time Cerberus had everything I needed, the intel, the people, the rescources..the Normandy. It was pretty clear the Council just wanted this to go away, and the Alliance seemed all too happy to forget, to "pretend" it was all the geth

I knew the Reapers were real, I knew the Collectors were a threat, and if it ment some bad PR then so be it...and I'd do it again a thousand times over

granted, perhaps I should have forseen The Illusives mans betrayal of us all, but I know he would have done everything to get his way, with or without me. I was just another cog in his machine, another part of his plan

Paragon Shepard:

Reet72:
Dear shepard
Why in the goddamn hell did you agree to work with cerberus? They're a pro-human terrorist organisation who have a greater human body count than any other group of things out there (present company excepted of course), they're hoplessly incompetent and TIM is an evil asshole.
Seriously, WTF?

with all due respect I wouldn't call bringing me back from the dead "incompetent".

I always had a bad feeling about TIM, I dont deny that, (somthing about him just really rubbed me the wrong way) but it was all about circumstance. At the time Cerberus had everything I needed, the intel, the people, the rescources..the Normandy. It was pretty clear the Council just wanted this to go away, and the Alliance seemed all too happy to forget, to "pretend" it was all the geth

I knew the Reapers were real, I knew the Collectors were a threat, and if it ment some bad PR then so be it...and I'd do it again a thousand times over

granted, perhaps I should have forseen The Illusives mans betrayal of us all, but I know he would have done everything to get his way, with or without me. I was just another cog in his machine, another part of his plan

But he betrayed you multiple times and you continued to work with him. He bated a colony with a former team member and didn't tell you because...well he just didn't. He deliberately set up a trap on a collector vessle and didn't tell you again for absolutely no reason again. And you still gave him the benefit of the doubt.
The only reason the council didn't want to have anything to do with you was because you were working for cerberus. If you'd have ditched cerberus then the council would have given you support beyond turning a blind eye.

Granted, cerberus bringing you back to life was impressive but if you look at just about every single cerberus operation, they don't have a great track record.
Teltin, the derelict reaper, project overlord, the thresher maws on akuze, not to mention all that crap with the husks in the first game, er...I mean...first reaper incursion.
Just about everything they do is either stupid or evil or both.
So please, I would appreciate an explanation.
SRSLY WTF?

My sister isn't stealing the show on my watch.

StormShaun:
What job would you have if you weren't Commander?

What do you think of your womanly Paragon other side?

And my favorite question, Why are you such an asshole, No offense intend I just wondered why you do those things?

oh wait! What do you think about your dancing!?

Probably a Mercenary like my good buddy Zaeed.

She needs to calm the hell down and loosen up a little. And maybe shut her mouth every once and a while before what she says comes back to bite her in the ass.

...I've seen people die since before I was even in the army. I had to steal and lie my way into a chance to join the Alliance, and it only got worse from there. Seeing people die all around you changes you, it makes you realize what your fighting for; survival. And I intend to survive, and hopefully drag as many people as I can with me out of hell.

Bang Kaboom Ferrell:
Why did you kill the geth ? and listen to the glowly kid

Blood loss clouds your judgement a lot.

And what are you talking about, I was smart and made the Qurians and Geth hold hands, even if they didn't like it.

Caramel Frappe:

Renegade Shepard: ... Why are you renegade? What makes it better then paragon if you don't mind me asking? Playing all three games, I was a paragon Shepard and it really benefit my story in Mass Effect. Still, wish to know why you're renegade (not a bad thing but, just curious).

Again, I've seen some stuff, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. If a mission needs done, you're gonna be damn sure I'm gonna get it done.

Fieldy409:
Shepard why do you only use a pistol in the cutscenes?

It's quick to grab. Prefer the Assault Rifle, though. Big guns are always better.

ToastiestZombie:
To both shepards. What are your opinions on ponies? Are there any of the crew that are bronies? (I actually think Joker may be one, just seems the type)

Joker won't shut the hell up about it, especially when Tali is around.

And honestly, I never cared much for it until I went to that one convention in Canada.

It's okay, but I wouldn't obsess over it. I feel like punching something when people just randomley bring it up for no reason though, especially when a goddamn unrelated topic is being discussed.

Fieldy409:
SHEPARD! WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?!?

CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES!

hazabaza1:
This is fucking fantastic.

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite topic on The Escapist.

Ticonderoga117:
Hey! Blueberry, Cherry, or Key lime pie?

Uh....Cherry, I guess. Maybe I just like the color red.

Reet72:
Dear shepard
Why in the goddamn hell did you agree to work with cerberus? They're a pro-human terrorist organisation who have a greater human body count than any other group of things out there (present company excepted of course), they're hoplessly incompetent and TIM is an evil asshole.
Seriously, WTF?

They're the only ones that could have done anything. The Alliance would have sat on their ass and then we'd have a human reaper on our hands. If they hadn't told me to take out the Collectors, we'd have had a much bigger invasion on out hands.

I'll get to some of the questions I missed later, James wants to get loco.

Socdemparty:
http://www.nerfnow.com/comic/704

Which of these would you actually do?

According to my sister I screw anything that walks on two legs.

And not even that discriminatory.

I can't confirm nor deny this fact.

Sean Hollyman:
How do you feel about the end of your story?

image

overpuce:
Cuts From Commerical
We now return to our interview with Paragon Shepard:

P. Shep: People are wondering, is there anything that the common person can do to assist you in your efforts to save the galaxy? Perhaps a care package to the crew? What would you, as the "savior" of the Alliance, want to see in your own care package?

Also on the mind of Alliance citizens, what makes you tick? What makes you wake up every morning to the sounds of impending galactic doom?

And finally, what do you have to say to those who say that the reapers are performing and essential function, culling civilizations before they get too big for their britches?

Kicks down a nearby door, flips the nearest table, and grabs the mic.

Fight. If you fight, humanity lasts a bit longer. Reapers are big. They have long range, and so does their cronies they make. If you have a gun, use it. You'r enot fighting for your survival, but for the survival of the galaxy itself.

And what makes me tick is that itself, I want humanity to survive. I want to live to fight another day. I refuse to bend over to the Reapers. I fight for me, my crew, and all of humanity.

And punch anyone who says that in the face, because they obviously have a couple of screws loose.

Do you feel cheated by the sh!tty ending Bioware gave you?

Shavon513:
Do you feel cheated by the sh!tty ending Bioware gave you?

I can't feel anything.

I'm dead, apparently.

does someone of you two approve of this?

Do you ever think about growing silky smooth hair?

Out of the both of you, who's the worst dancer?

Shepard, you have become an annoyance.

Who can drink more out of the two of you?

Also uh, got any pics of garrus? If you know what I mean......

Why does no one ever address you by your first name?

Do you liek mudkips?

Is Miranda a tool for the Reapers. I mean her ass is just there and I can't stop looking or thinking about it. I see it in my dreams. Am I being indoctrinated?

Where do the crew members such as Tali and Garrus sleep?

kman123:
This is the greatest thread ever.

I normally detest "this" posts, but you could not be more right.

I love the Escapist for the rare moments like this.

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