Ask Commander Shepard!

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commander Sheppard why didn't the Alliance or Turian empire never try to make a second ship using the Normandy's stealth systems, its clear to all who can see that the Normandy is vastly Superior to all current military ships and both races collaborated to make it in the first place. it seams to me both Palaven and Earth could have been save if they just had a few ships capable of stealth to flank, attack and disrepair again.

Renegade Shepard:
[

Vault101:
so....Assari...

do they have nipples?.....hey c'mon I bet im not the only one curious

and do you have a red headed twin sister? by any chance

Heh. "Assari"

Anyway, yeah, they do, actually. Which is kind of weird. I mean, what do they even need them for? They have mindsex.

Wait? Why does the fact that they have "Mindsex" matter?
They still need to nurse their babies.

Baby Asari's don't drink "Mindmilk."

Renegade Shepard: Did Miranda ever catch you staring at her ass?

Douglas Dover:
commander Sheppard why didn't the Alliance or Turian empire never try to make a second ship using the Normandy's stealth systems, its clear to all who can see that the Normandy is vastly Superior to all current military ships and both races collaborated to make it in the first place. it seams to me both Palaven and Earth could have been save if they just had a few ships capable of stealth to flank, attack and disrepair again.

Because the Normandy costs around half the amount of money it takes to build an entire fleet.

And those custom paint jobs could be used to build a ship alone.

ThatLankyBastard:
Here's a question for the Shephards...

Would either of you ever consider sharing Garrus...
image

Nope. He's all miiii'm going to kick your ass.

Mortai Gravesend:

Renegade Shepard:

Mortai Gravesend:

Two glasses does not constitute a drinking competition! Besides, she says she grows resistance, but you said you vomited blood.

In fact, you two should have an eating competition with food from across the galaxy. Followed by a drinking competition.

Well you drink sheet metal and tell me how your immunity to it is holding up.

Wrex had four, I had two! It should count!

Well see, that's why we should have a drinking competition between you and Paragon Shepard. See how each of you does with alien drinks.

Wrex was clearly going easy on you. Didn't want to embarrass you in front of the Krogan ladies. Taking down a thresher maw only counts for so much if you're puking up blood after the second drink and your buddy's still going after 10.

We were at the Citadel.

And you do know alcohol hits women harder right? They're all fat and no water.

Oro44:
Renegade Shepard: Did Miranda ever catch you staring at her ass?

Yes, but it was alright because I let her look at mine.

Except when she was gluing it back together, then I didn't really have a choice, being dead and all.

But after seeing what it looked like pieced together, I'm sure she had the motivation to make sure I could breath again.

Mikeyfell:

Renegade Shepard:
[

Vault101:
so....Assari...

do they have nipples?.....hey c'mon I bet im not the only one curious

and do you have a red headed twin sister? by any chance

Heh. "Assari"

Anyway, yeah, they do, actually. Which is kind of weird. I mean, what do they even need them for? They have mindsex.

Wait? Why does the fact that they have "Mindsex" matter?
They still need to nurse their babies.

Baby Asari's don't drink "Mindmilk."

Do Asari look like a species that can produce goddamn milk?

You do know that's a trait only mammals tend to have, right?

It's like I'm trapped in a room with a bunch of middle schoolers.

TheScientificIssole:
in ME1, the paragon option in an Ashley conversation was accepting a deity, does that make you religious?

thats between me and the Reaper Starchild....

oh no..I've said too much

Vault101:
Paragon shepard...how do you feel about the controversy surrounding your changing of "aperarance"?...words like "beuty contest" and such have been thrown around

honestly? I think those claims are misguided

this wasnt about making me "prettyer" it was about equality, lets be honest here..my "defult" was just some random charachter model thrown together,

everyone else was getting a make over..I think its only fair I look half decent..I mean do you have any Idea what its like trying to be taken seriously with a face that looks like a gecko cross ape?

370999:
I have another question.

With your alien paramour do you intend to raise a family? And if so, how? Will you adopt? Will you have 2 human kids and 2 turians/quarians?

after my previous experience I hate childen

I really...really..REALLY..hate children *shudder*

TheOneBearded:
Does punching reporters in the face make you horny? Or is it just me?

not "horny" as such..incredibly happy though yes

Follow up question for Renegade Shepard: How many members of the Normandy crew did you have relations with? Kelly don't count.

captcha: wild and wooly

Korten12:
Both Shepards, would you date a Half-Banshee? Wearing a Top hat and monicol?

Banshees have been known to carry STD's that would turn your genitals inside out...so perfect for my Brother

Douglas Dover:
commander Sheppard why didn't the Alliance or Turian empire never try to make a second ship using the Normandy's stealth systems, its clear to all who can see that the Normandy is vastly Superior to all current military ships and both races collaborated to make it in the first place. it seams to me both Palaven and Earth could have been save if they just had a few ships capable of stealth to flank, attack and disrepair again.

I have limited knowelge of the fleets but theres no evidence to suggest they didnt

perhaps we didnt see them because of the stealth systms

lets keep in mind when the reapers hti building more ships was out of the question

ThatLankyBastard:
Here's a question for the Shephards...

Would either of you ever consider sharing Garrus...

a little secret...

I don't actually like garrus "in that way"

he's just a really good freind

Oro44:
Follow up question for Renegade Shepard: How many members of the Normandy crew did you have relations with? Kelly don't count.

captcha: wild and wooly

Sex with Miranda.
Sex with Tali.
Giving EDI some lessons on how to handle Joker without snapping him in half. (Don't ask.)
Mindsex with Samara
Mindsex with Liara
Drunken sloppy make-outs with Kasumi
Sex with Jack

I almost got Traynor on board, but she wasn't entirely into guys, so I just let her use my shower with the door open.

Also, despite the shipping fictions Parashep wrote, I haven't done anything with Kaiden or Garrus.

Paragon Shepard:

ThatLankyBastard:
Here's a question for the Shephards...

Would either of you ever consider sharing Garrus...

a little secret...

I don't actually like garrus "in that way"

he's just a really good freind

What are you, a lesbian?

Assuming Direct Control...

Shepard(s), do you truely believe you can defeat us? We are your salvation through destruction. You know this.

Renegade Shepard:

Oro44:
Follow up question for Renegade Shepard: How many members of the Normandy crew did you have relations with? Kelly don't count.

captcha: wild and wooly

Sex with Miranda.
Sex with Tali.
Giving EDI some lessons on how to handle Joker without snapping him in half. (Don't ask.)
Mindsex with Samara
Mindsex with Liara
Drunken sloppy make-outs with Kasumi
Sex with Jack

I almost got Traynor on board, but she wasn't entirely into guys, so I just let her use my shower with the door open.

Also, despite the shipping fictions Parashep wrote, I haven't done anything with Kaiden or Garrus.

No love for Morinth?! It's the ultimate risk!

Renegade Shepard:

What are you, a lesbian?

I'm Bi.....

...Varren Fucker

I am Harbinger:
Assuming Direct Control...

Shepard(s), do you truely believe you can defeat us? We are your salvation through destruction. You know this.

see that big empty void of space out there?

that is how many fucks I give about what you have to say

Paragon Shepard:

ThatLankyBastard:
Here's a question for the Shephards...

Would either of you ever consider sharing Garrus...

a little secret...

I don't actually like garrus "in that way"

he's just a really good freind

Lies! I saw it right there on my TV screen. You and Garrus... together.

I am Harbinger:
Assuming Direct Control...

Shepard(s), do you truely believe you can defeat us? We are your salvation through destruction. You know this.

I liked you better when you didn't have any lines in the third game.

And yes.

Come here so I can punch you in your laser hole.

Paragon Shepard: How good did it feel to pistol-whip Archer in the face after the Overlord debacle?

*sets up lawn chair and popcorn machine* Don't mind me I'm mostly just here to watch. Although, for the purpose of discussion, what is your opinion of this song?(and this goes to both Sheps)

Mortai Gravesend:

Renegade Shepard:

Oro44:
Follow up question for Renegade Shepard: How many members of the Normandy crew did you have relations with? Kelly don't count.

captcha: wild and wooly

Sex with Miranda.
Sex with Tali.
Giving EDI some lessons on how to handle Joker without snapping him in half. (Don't ask.)
Mindsex with Samara
Mindsex with Liara
Drunken sloppy make-outs with Kasumi
Sex with Jack

I almost got Traynor on board, but she wasn't entirely into guys, so I just let her use my shower with the door open.

Also, despite the shipping fictions Parashep wrote, I haven't done anything with Kaiden or Garrus.

No love for Morinth?! It's the ultimate risk!

The ultimate risk. But the prize.... (sorry I had to do it)

Oro44:
Paragon Shepard: How good did it feel to pistol-whip Archer in the face after the Overlord debacle?

better than punching a reporter

Mortai Gravesend:

Renegade Shepard:

Oro44:
Follow up question for Renegade Shepard: How many members of the Normandy crew did you have relations with? Kelly don't count.

captcha: wild and wooly

Sex with Miranda.
Sex with Tali.
Giving EDI some lessons on how to handle Joker without snapping him in half. (Don't ask.)
Mindsex with Samara
Mindsex with Liara
Drunken sloppy make-outs with Kasumi
Sex with Jack

I almost got Traynor on board, but she wasn't entirely into guys, so I just let her use my shower with the door open.

Also, despite the shipping fictions Parashep wrote, I haven't done anything with Kaiden or Garrus.

No love for Morinth?! It's the ultimate risk!

I prefer my not dying when I reach the climax so....

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

What are you, a lesbian?

I'm Bi.....

...Varren Fucker

I am Harbinger:
Assuming Direct Control...

Shepard(s), do you truely believe you can defeat us? We are your salvation through destruction. You know this.

see that big empty void of space out there?

that is how many fucks I give about what you have to say

Which one of us is supposed to be the Renegade again?

I'm pretty sure it's me.

The guy who shoves people out windows.

Why don't you go hug a Brute and let me do the big boy work?

Fijiman:
*sets up lawn chair and popcorn machine* Don't mind me I'm mostly just here to watch. Although, for the purpose of discussion, what is your opinion of this song?(and this goes to both Sheps)

image

I'm a Commander and what is this?

Paragon Shepard:

see that big empty void of space out there?

that is how many fucks I give about what you have to say

Foolish Shepard, no matter how hard you try, you will fail...because the tiny glowing child that controls me only gives you three choice, and they all suck.

Renegade Shepard:

I liked you better when you didn't have any lines in the third game.

And yes.

Come here so I can punch you in your laser hole.

Shepard, do you recall, on Earth, what happened? I seem to recall my 'laser hole' kicking your *ss.

Renegade Shepard:
snip

forgive me...but my patience is starting to wear thin

I mean its funny really, you seem to be under the delusion that your some kind of "badass" but in reality your just an A-moral thug who throws tantrums when he doesnt get his way

Diplomacy bitch...thats how you get shit done

Renegade Shepard:

Do Asari look like a species that can produce goddamn milk?

You do know that's a trait only mammals tend to have, right?

It's like I'm trapped in a room with a bunch of middle schoolers.

Yes. Yes actually they do. They look like humans.

A defining trait of mammals is that they give birth to living offspring (Meaning, not eggs)
never is it mentioned that Asaris lay eggs. (It's never mentioned that they don't so that one's still up in the air)

But, they have boobs, the evolutionary purpose of boobs is to produce milk.

And yes middle schoolers would know that.

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:
snip

forgive me...but my patience is starting to wear thin

I mean its funny really, you seem to be under the delusion that your some kind of "badass" but in reality your just an A-moral thug who throws tantrums when he doesnt get his way

Diplomacy bitch...thats how you get shit done

Because obviously your astounding grammar and very diplomatic choices of words like "Varren Fucker" "look at all the fucks I give" "I hate children" and "Diplomacy bitch, that's how you get shit done" obviously show how charismatic you are.

I've heard more charm from a high school debate team.

I am Harbinger:

Renegade Shepard:

I liked you better when you didn't have any lines in the third game.

And yes.

Come here so I can punch you in your laser hole.

Shepard, do you recall, on Earth, what happened? I seem to recall my 'laser hole' kicking your *ss.

Hey, it's all right to swear on the extranet, your mom isn't going to read it, I know because she's to busy getting fucked by me!

And the rest of my crew and their guns!

I am Harbinger:

Paragon Shepard:

see that big empty void of space out there?

that is how many fucks I give about what you have to say

Foolish Shepard, no matter how hard you try, you will fail...because the tiny glowing child that controls me only gives you three choice, and they all suck.

.

we shall see harbinger....

we shall see

now why dont you run along to your little starchild? you know because you take orders from a kid

Mikeyfell:

Renegade Shepard:

Do Asari look like a species that can produce goddamn milk?

You do know that's a trait only mammals tend to have, right?

It's like I'm trapped in a room with a bunch of middle schoolers.

Yes. Yes actually they do. They look like humans.

A defining trait of mammals is that they give birth to living offspring (Meaning, not eggs)
never is it mentioned that Asaris lay eggs. (It's never mentioned that they don't so that one's still up in the air)

But, they have boobs, the evolutionary purpose of boobs is to produce milk.

And yes middle schoolers would know that.

I studied the asari body....very, very well, and I can confirm in my studies that they don't produce milk.

Paragon Shepard:

we shall see harbinger....

we shall see

now why dont you run along to your little starchild? you know because you take orders from a kid

I may take orders from a star-child, but at least my voice sounds cool...damn you bioware.

Renegade Shepard:

Hey, it's all right to swear on the extranet, your mom isn't going to read it, I know because she's to busy getting fucked by me!

And the rest of my crew and their guns!

...Firstly, Shepard, I am Harbinger, and I have no mother...and secondly, am I the only who finds it weird that Harbinger is being more polite than Ren.Shep?

Renegade Shepard:
snip!

Pot...Kettle..Black

forgive me, but the galaxy is buring, everyone I care about has a good chance of dying, so I'm a little more stressed than usual,

really, I do apologies for not maintaining my usual polite demeanour, but its hard when I've constantly had to deal with the likes of cerberus and you, belive it or not even I get angry sometimes

not that you'd understand, you don't seem to care about anything

and you DID do it with the Varren...everyone knows

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

I am Harbinger:

...Firstly, Shepard, I am Harbinger, and I have no mother...and secondly, am I the only who finds it weird that Harbinger is being more polite than Ren.Shep?

Shepard think Harbinger should stop talking like caveman.

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:
snip!

Pot...Kettle..Black

forgive me, but the galaxy is buring, everyone I care about has a good chance of dying, so I'm a little more stressed than usual,

really, I do apologies for not maintaining my usual polite demeanour, but its hard when I've constantly had to deal with the likes of cerberus and you, belive it or not even I get angry sometimes

not that you'd understand, you don't seem to care about anything

and you DID do it with the Varren...everyone knows

Again, with the baseless accusations.

Fieldy409:
I notice vault101 stopped posting since paragon shep showed up...

How do you like your cofee Shepards?

What are your first names?

They also have similar grammar. Although RenShep does as well...

Fieldy409:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

the woodchuck would not chuck wood because the reapers would have burned the trees...the woodchuck would likely be reaperfied so it would be a huskchuck

the huskchuck would chuck husks if could however it chould not because it is under reaper controll and can only chuck humans and other species

going by the amount of hits a husk gets (3 at most) then the huskchuck would likley chuck 3 humans before it got shot down

Renegade Shepard:

Mikeyfell:
they have boobs, the evolutionary purpose of boobs is to produce milk.

I studied the asari body....very, very well, and I can confirm in my studies that they don't produce milk.

Boobs produce milk.

This started out silly, but now it's just getting sad.

Until Mordin weighs in on this I'm going to continue to assume that the Asari body is fully functional regardless of the parthenogenesis

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