Ask Commander Shepard!

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Renegade Shepard:

Again, with the baseless accusations.

Scale itch...explain that one

and dont start with me about the child thing they....they give me nightmares...

Mikeyfell:

Renegade Shepard:

Mikeyfell:
they have boobs, the evolutionary purpose of boobs is to produce milk.

I studied the asari body....very, very well, and I can confirm in my studies that they don't produce milk.

Boobs produce milk.

This started out silly, but now it's just getting sad.

Until Mordin weighs in on this I'm going to continue to assume that the Asari body is fully functional regardless of the parthenogenesis

Mordin's dead asshole.

Now I have to stare at the memorial wall for an hour or two...

Renegade Shepard:

Shepard think Harbinger should stop talking like caveman.

Shepard, don't you remember what the Geth told you, what we really are?

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

the woodchuck would not chuck wood because the reapers would have burned the trees...the woodchuck would likely be reaperfied so it would be a huskchuck

the huskchuck would chuck husks if could however it chould not because it is under reaper controll and can only chuck humans and other species

going by the amount of hits a husk egts (3 at most) then the huskchuck would liley chuck 3 humans before it got shot down

Wait I thought reapers only made husks out of advanced intelligent races.....

*gasp* What do you know about woodchucks I don't?

I am Harbinger:

Renegade Shepard:

Shepard think Harbinger should stop talking like caveman.

Shepard, don't you remember what the Geth told you, what we really are?

Space Calamari?

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

Again, with the baseless accusations.

Scale itch...explain that one

and dont start with me about the child thing they....they give me nightmares...

Oh, yeah, blame the STD on the ship on the guy who has sex all the time!

Fieldy409:
Wait I thought reapers only made husks out of advanced intelligent races.....

*gasp* What do you know about woodchucks I don't?

do husks seem advanced and intelligent to you?

although...perhaps the woodchucks are to inherit the earth

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
Wait I thought reapers only made husks out of advanced intelligent races.....

*gasp* What do you know about woodchucks I don't?

do husks seem advanced and intelligent to you?

although...perhaps the woodchucks are to inherit the earth

We have plans you cannot comprehend...

Renegade Shepard:

I am Harbinger:
[quote="Renegade Shepard" post="18.375141.14563169"]

Shepard think Harbinger should stop talking like caveman.

Shepard, don't you remember what the Geth told you, what we really are?

Space Calamari?

I suppose I should have seen that coming. But no. Care to guess again?

Can we please enshrine this thread or stick it in a time capsule or something? I want this chunk of awesomeness to be around in time for the new Reaper cycle. It'll entertain a few hapless human colonists while things turn Grimdark.

I got a question too, Sheps. This being a gaming site, inquiring minds want to know what video games the Normandy's crewmembers enjoy. Somehow, Renegade seems like a shooter buff, I'd have said being a Paragon qualifies for RPGs but ParaShep isn't all that Paragon in her vocabulary - and it's pretty obvious Garrus would love stuff along the lines of Sniper Elite V2.

What about the others? I know Liara keeps track of Legion's Gamerscore in a few pan-galactic MMOs, but are there any concrete examples you could give us?

In the meantime, I'll go get some popcorn. This is sweet as Hell.

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
Wait I thought reapers only made husks out of advanced intelligent races.....

*gasp* What do you know about woodchucks I don't?

do husks seem advanced and intelligent to you?

although...perhaps the woodchucks are to inherit the earth

Hey don't be such a huskist! I know plenty of intelligent husks. Some of my best friends are husks.

Anyway your clearly evading the question. I must look into this woodchuck conspiracy. If the woodchucks have already achieved spaceflight then I wonder if the woodchucks have any secret hidden war assets....

The Illusive man needs to hear about this....

Renegade Shepard:

I am Harbinger:

Renegade Shepard:

Shepard think Harbinger should stop talking like caveman.

Shepard, don't you remember what the Geth told you, what we really are?

Space Calamari?

They're cuttlefish, duh. I thought everyone knew that.

Ugly Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

ಠ_ಠ

I am Harbinger:

I suppose I should have seen that coming. But no. Care to guess again?

Blood sucking space ticks?

IamLEAM1983:
Can we please enshrine this thread or stick it in a time capsule or something? I want this chunk of awesomeness to be around in time for the new Reaper cycle. It'll entertain a few hapless human colonists while things turn Grimdark.

I got a question too, Sheps. This being a gaming site, inquiring minds want to know what video games the Normandy's crewmembers enjoy. Somehow, Renegade seems like a shooter buff, I'd have said being a Paragon qualifies for RPGs but ParaShep isn't all that Paragon in her vocabulary - and it's pretty obvious Garrus would love stuff along the lines of Sniper Elite V2.

What about the others? I know Liara keeps track of Legion's Gamerscore in a few pan-galactic MMOs, but are there any concrete examples you could give us?

In the meantime, I'll go get some popcorn. This is sweet as Hell.

Tali is more of a puzzle, simulation lover.
Garrus is a fan of stealth and shooters alike.
Traynor is a fan of a lot since apparently she didn't have much time to play games in her youth.
Legion...he was one of the biggest game lovers I knew. Had one hell of a Gamerscore.
Miranda always played dating sims behind my back.
Kasumi was sure to play dating sims whenever I entered the room.
And Joker likes flying sims, of course, but I guess he liked pokemon with that damn Gameboy he loves so much.

And me, well, my personal favorite is Katawa Shoujo.

Fieldy409:

Paragon Shepard:

Fieldy409:
Wait I thought reapers only made husks out of advanced intelligent races.....

*gasp* What do you know about woodchucks I don't?

do husks seem advanced and intelligent to you?

although...perhaps the woodchucks are to inherit the earth

Hey don't be such a huskist! I know plenty of intelligent husks. Some of my best friends are husks.

I know right! They do keep trying to hug me. I think it's because they appreciate our similarities more than, say, Hanar do.

Hanar never hug me.

Ugly Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

*sigh*...oh...Hi ugly shep...umm how are things going?

hey I heard there was a special on fish and helments on a store out on that relay...the one on the far end of the galaxy...you should go there

IamLEAM1983:
Can we please enshrine this thread or stick it in a time capsule or something? I want this chunk of awesomeness to be around in time for the new Reaper cycle. It'll entertain a few hapless human colonists while things turn Grimdark.

I got a question too, Sheps. This being a gaming site, inquiring minds want to know what video games the Normandy's crewmembers enjoy. Somehow, Renegade seems like a shooter buff, I'd have said being a Paragon qualifies for RPGs but ParaShep isn't all that Paragon in her vocabulary - and it's pretty obvious Garrus would love stuff along the lines of Sniper Elite V2.

What about the others? I know Liara keeps track of Legion's Gamerscore in a few pan-galactic MMOs, but are there any concrete examples you could give us?

In the meantime, I'll go get some popcorn. This is sweet as Hell.

look, I'm sorry, Ive been under alot of stress recently and to be honest I'm getting sick of being polite to the reapers and cerberus sympathisers..and HIM

somtimes I think about saying thease things...and I know thats not really *me* and then somtimes I say them and I don't know why

anyway I don't think Renshep games anymore since he's been banned at least 100 times

I enjoy the odd RPG, but I also have a soft spot for Grim Terminus Aliance...you know to blow off steam.

don't know about Garrus, I think he prefers the real thing, or his calibrations.

Ive seen Liara play a few of those dating sim type games, not really my thing.And it turns out Chawkwas has a very respectible gamerscore in "Alliance corsair"....hell if she were a geth she could probably outdo legion

Renegade Shepard:

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.[quote/]

ಠ_ಠ

.

HEY...be nice to him, its not his fault

remember I never told Mom about the time you shot him in the foot...don't make me...

Renegade Shepard:

Ugly Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

ಠ_ಠ

Something wrong with your eyes? You should have Dr. Chakwas take a look at that. I mean, she refuses to give me check ups ever since... That incident.

And I'm more of a Farmville fan. Doesn't surprise me that you're not in on it; you've never been very social. But still, who doesn't love Zynga games?

Paragon Shepard:

Ugly Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

Paragon Shepard:
*Snip*

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

*sigh*...oh...Hi ugly shep...umm how are things going?

hey I heard there was a special on fish and helments on a store out on that relay...the one on the far end of the galaxy...you should go there

Hi Paragon! And actually I already have plenty of fish. It's just that they don't last long in my tank when I take them out of their packaging.

As for helmets, well, you need to appreciate how much time I've spent trying to find one which fits. I've been considering those Krogan designs, they seem to have the right idea.

Ugly Shepard:

Hi Paragon! And actually I already have plenty of fish. It's just that they don't last long in my tank when I take them out of their packaging.

As for helmets, well, you need to appreciate how much time I've spent trying to find one which fits. I've been considering those Krogan designs, they seem to have the right idea.

thats..thats a really good Idea

hey, I know you kind of went through a rough patch with that Assari...you know, I hear aparently SHE actually wasnt aware that she was "your girlfrend" Im sure it was just a misunderstanding

anyway I know this might seem odd but I got the number of this girl you might be interested in...she's a vorcha, yes I know youve never done anything like that, but I think you need too....to perhaps keep an open mind and she's really keen (and really sweet..for a vorcha)

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

ಠ_ಠ

.

HEY...be nice to him, its not his fault

remember I never told Mom about the time you shot him in the foot...don't make me...

Ugly Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

ಠ_ಠ

Something wrong with your eyes? You should have Dr. Chakwas take a look at that. I mean, she refuses to give me check ups ever since... That incident.

And I'm more of a Farmville fan. Doesn't surprise me that you're not in on it; you've never been very social. But still, who doesn't love Zynga games?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THIS IS STUPID.

Renegade Shepard:

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THIS IS STUPID.

SSSSHHHHHHHH

be..nice...

remember what I said, if you shoot him shepard I'll tell Tali about your Varren habbit

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THIS IS STUPID.

SSSSHHHHHHHH

be..nice...

remember what I said, if you shoot him shepard I'll tell Tali about your Varren habbit

Okay I'm done.

Screw you.

Screw him.

Screw everyone on The Escapist.

I'm going to go have sex with Jack and Miranda at the same time and take a nap.

Renegade Shepard:

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THIS IS STUPID.

Man, you always flip out over such small stuff. Like that time you managed to get a discount in a sex shop because you claimed they were discriminating against the young by not giving you stuff.

Paragon Shepard:

Ugly Shepard:

Hi Paragon! And actually I already have plenty of fish. It's just that they don't last long in my tank when I take them out of their packaging.

As for helmets, well, you need to appreciate how much time I've spent trying to find one which fits. I've been considering those Krogan designs, they seem to have the right idea.

thats..thats a really good Idea

hey, I know you kind of went through a rough patch with that Assari...you know, I hear aparently SHE actually wasnt aware that she was "your girlfrend" Im sure it was just a misunderstanding

anyway I know this might seem odd but I got the number of this girl you might be interested in...she's a vorcha, yes I know youve never done anything like that, but I think you need too....to perhaps keep an open mind and she's really keen (and really sweet..for a vorcha)

Well sis, I hate to break her heart but I've actually fond something really promising. You know that Asari who joined my team a while back, the grumpy one? Y'know, the combat stripper. Well she told me that she had this daughter who she wanted us to go and meet, I kinda tuned out for a bit and missed the details. See, I decided that I'd tell her that we couldn't go, but then I'd go and fetch her daughter in secret to give her a nice surprise family reunion.

And you know what? When I arrived on Omega, me and her really hit it off. She seems a bit obsessed with black stuff... You know I've always preferred pink, but I think I have a really good shot with her. Might just be my lucky day. =)

Can anyone in the Alliance drive the Mako?

Renegade Shepard:

Okay I'm done.

Screw you.

Screw him.

Screw everyone on The Escapist.

I'm going to go have sex with Jack and Miranda at the same time and take a nap.

hey! where are you going? you can't just run away like that (look I'll deal with him)

Ugly Shepard:
[snip.

oh....that...that's great Ugg

uh listen, I think its really cool that you decided to show up and everything, you know..I mean I don't want to mention your "thing" because I know your a little sensitive about that but I just think..

I mean its not that we don't want you around..because thats NOT what I'm saying, me and Renshep think your awsome

its..just..that...uhh well the whole dynamic has always really been "two" you know? we just don't realy have room for...well you saw when they put a 3 in there didnt you? (blue, green,red) see how well that turned out

you know what? mabye you should go

to omega..you know..meet up with that nice assari

Shadow flame master:
Can anyone in the Alliance drive the Mako?

unfortunatly I'm the only one on my squad who has ever been "qualified"

Paragon Shepard:

Shadow flame master:
Can anyone in the Alliance drive the Mako?

unfortunatly I'm the only one on my squad who has ever been "qualified"

Does this mean that you can at least land it on it's wheels or what?

Shadow flame master:

Paragon Shepard:

Shadow flame master:
Can anyone in the Alliance drive the Mako?

unfortunatly I'm the only one on my squad who has ever been "qualified"

Does this mean that you can at least land it on it's wheels or what?

being qualified to drive it and being able to drive it are very different things

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

Okay I'm done.

Screw you.

Screw him.

Screw everyone on The Escapist.

I'm going to go have sex with Jack and Miranda at the same time and take a nap.

hey! where are you going? you can't just run away like that (look I'll deal with him)

Ugly Shepard:
[snip.

oh....that...that's great Ugg

uh listen, I think its really cool that you decided to show up and everything, you know..I mean I don't want to mention your "thing" because I know your a little sensitive about that but I just think..

I mean its not that we don't want you around..because thats NOT what I'm saying, me and Renshep think your awsome

its..just..that...uhh well the whole dynamic has always really been "two" you know? we just don't realy have room for...well you saw when they put a 3 in there didnt you? (blue, green,red) see how well that turned out

you know what? mabye you should go

to omega..you know..meet up with that nice assari

Yeah, I guess you have a point. I'll just be going, give you guys some spa-

Hey, hang on a second! There's no such thing as a female Vorcha! You ARE trying to get rid of me! D:<

Well! You're not going to have me here to push around any more! I guess I'll just leave the big shot Shepards to their fancy box art, you sell-outs!

Ugly Shepard:

Yeah, I guess you have a point. I'll just be going, give you guys some spa-

Hey, hang on a second! There's no such thing as a female Vorcha! You ARE trying to get rid of me! D:<

Well! You're not going to have me here to push around any more! I guess I'll just leave the big shot Shepards to their fancy box art, you sell-outs!

oh..Ugg please don't be like that, its really not anything personal

look Im sure they could really use you at the crucible project

and of coarse there are female vorcha..who else do they reproduce?

Paragon Shepard:

Ugly Shepard:

Yeah, I guess you have a point. I'll just be going, give you guys some spa-

Hey, hang on a second! There's no such thing as a female Vorcha! You ARE trying to get rid of me! D:<

Well! You're not going to have me here to push around any more! I guess I'll just leave the big shot Shepards to their fancy box art, you sell-outs!

oh..Ugg please don't be like that, its really not anything personal

look Im sure they could really use you at the crucible project

and of coarse there are female vorcha..who else do they reproduce?

I'm looking up details about Vorcha reproduction on the extranet.

It's not a pretty sight. Who'd have thought asexual binary fission could be so gross? Kinda fascinating though, like watching a shuttle crash. I might have to go and see what Mordin thinks about it.

Hmmm...use Shepard against Shepard...why didn't the star-child think of this?

Renegade Shepard:

Paragon Shepard:

Renegade Shepard:

OH HAI GUYS WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS THREAD

I see you two are arguing with harbinger again. That's cool, I guess. I mean, my tropical fish died again, but y'know... That's no big deal.

HEY...be nice to him, its not his fault

remember I never told Mom about the time you shot him in the foot...don't make me...

Ugly Shepard:

ಠ_ಠ

Something wrong with your eyes? You should have Dr. Chakwas take a look at that. I mean, she refuses to give me check ups ever since... That incident.

And I'm more of a Farmville fan. Doesn't surprise me that you're not in on it; you've never been very social. But still, who doesn't love Zynga games?

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

THIS IS STUPID.

Was that a renegade interrupt?

IamLEAM1983:
In the meantime, I'll go get some popcorn. This is sweet as Hell.

You can man the popcorn machine while I sleep for a while.

Okay whichever Shepards want to answer.... Favourite love song?

Captcha: Labour of Love. Oh god I think the Captcha is an AI!

Fieldy409:
Okay whichever Shepards want to answer.... Favourite love song?

Captcha: Labour of Love. Oh god I think the Captcha is an AI!

that's a hard one..but I'll have to say...

EDI?..is that you?

Hey, Shepard!

So my home colony got slaughtered by reapers, and I was understandably pretty pissed about it, so I joined this one organization that said they were going to stop the reapers once and for all. It was a pretty sweet deal - they even gave me some free armour! You wouldn't think white, black and yellow would go together all that well, but it's really quite classy. Anyway, I heard from some of the other new recruits that you work with us on occasion, which is cool because I've always wanted to meet a hero like you.

Anyway, if you need any help and you see any Cerberus troops around while you're off doing your thing, give us a holler. I'd be honored to help you out in any way I can!

Other than that, good luck out there. I've got to go now; leaving for a mission in a few minutes. Apparently we're after some intel on reaper troops, but I hope we get to help evacuate the colony while we're there.

Cheering for you,

Private Fork

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