The five word game

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Ok so this is a forum game which i've seen a lot on other sites but on this one it seems to have just tried and failed a buncha times... >.<
Anyway, i'mma give it another go to get this thread off da ground!
The rules are simple, post five words that follow on from the previous posters five words, together we'll make a story :3 You can post more then once and it is encouraged but try not to double post
ANYWAYZ Lets get to it
Oh one other thing, if ya wanna say something seperate to the five words then spoiler it, this post is an excception

"Once upon a time, there"

"was a very happy couple"

who had no friends because

they ate too many onions

which were not cleaned of

germs and diabetes. One saturday

picked up a sword and

immediately lopped off his own

nose, which made him scream.

He then ran towards the

inn where there would be

a fat man waiting to

give you a new spell

of super awesome destructive coolness

that has a dark secret

which basically means that you

get diarrhea when casting it.

But, said diarrhea would also

have a tea party with

Gordon Brown and Geert Wilders.

He arrived at the inn

only to find the

fat man, he was with

a green dog, which had

a green bone, hidden in

a very bad case of

of acne which tried to

eat him alive because he

looked at him sideways. The

Band playing music bottled him

up in a bottle which

then ate another bottle with

blue blotches on its neck.

Then, the happy couple saw

A large creature with an

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