I have the power to accidentally go to bed too soon. D:

I have the power to have a sore back!

MERICA POWERS, ACTIVATE!

*Cheeseburger magically appears*

I have the power...

TO BE MERICAN!

I have the power to guarantee the right to drink alcohol!

I have the power to make sub-par television shows of higher quality British shows!

I have the power eat candy in bed (I am so lazy :P)

I have the power to see pretty rocks.

I have the power to see ugly rocks..
:c

I have the power to upload the last episode of Crash Bandicoot!

I have the power to reach an Escapist milestone!

I have the power to be oh so proud of you!

I have the power to prepare a thread in self-congratulatory wanking pride of this!

I have the power to congratulate you!
I also have the power to bake you a lovely poisonous cake.

I have the power to cross-out words too cut myself a great big slice of that cake!

I have the power to make this thread available to the public!

I have the power to drink beer tonight.

I have the power to have drank last night!

I have the power to drink soda and watch other people have alcohol!

I have the power to get stomachaches!

I have the power to have a Landmark badge! And to make a post about it after I finish a video!

I have the power to yell...

STOP!

HAMMER TIME!

I have the power to be very tired in the morning.

I have the power to be in a different time zone than others on the site!

PsychicTaco115:
I have the power to yell...

STOP!

HAMMER TIME!

I have the power to wear parachute pants!

I have the power to be... old...

I have the power to post under a Landmark member!
I'm not worthy!

WAITAMINIT

You have the badge too!

...

I have the power to do what the above poster does as well!

I have the power to also have a Landmark badge!

I have the power to post under another Landmark member!
I'm still not worthy!