The Thread of Love

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They're pretty to look at! Also, they're much less imposing/threatening than your standard vampy.

Being wrong.

It cultivates a humble and modest personality.

A swift kick in the nuts.

It reminds you that you should probably guard your nuts next time.

Constant agony.

It gives you a newfound appreciation for the times when you're not in pain.

Being alone.

At least you can walk around in your birthday suit and no-one will care.

An insane asylum.

At least you know your mental state could be much worse.

Getting a stitch.

At least you don't have to run any more...

Rabid dogs.

There is a great classic movie revolving around one.

Serial Killers.

They know how to have a party.

Charles Manson.

The guy's got charisma.


Their consoles don't break easily.


Masters of old school gaming.

Getting arrested.

That'll learn ya.

Broken glass.

The shards make nice shivs when no knife is handy.


They're friggin' cool.

Greedy Corporations.

They make money!

Organ burglars.

Someone needs organs, amirite?

Die Hard 5.

Didn't have Shia Labeouf.

Shia Labeouf.

Natural actor when he's in a good role.

Scat porn

It reminds you that there are people out there that greatly surpass whatever casual fetishes you may have.


At least their kids with the 6 fingers and three eyes will get bullied in school instead of you!

Stepping in dog poo.

Someone's got to do their bit to spread it around and if it doesn't get walked into a shop, what will they have to clean up?


You get to shit blood! (Which is almost as good as getting to shit gold)


Means you always have someone to talk to.

Tooth decay.

A good way to remember to brush your teeth

Heart break

At least now you will know how it feels to have your heart broken.


No hopes means no disappointments.


No more tax, no more pain, no more dickheads to deal with!

Allergic reactions.

They let you know you're alive, while they cut off your airway.

An actual functioning penis on your forehead.

Twice the orgasms!

A bear attack.

Chicks dig scars.

Snorting wasabi

It's funny to watch your friends suffer


They're funny to laugh at.

Your pants falling down in public.

At least you know that your pants are now not usable in public.

Death of a friend.

You get dibs on his stereo.

Being sat on by an ox.

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