3-word conspiracy theory!

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As if conspiracy theories weren't already hilarious enough on their own, let's combine it with word games!

It's simple: just add 3 words to the last person's sentence to continue the story and don't double post. Try and keep it relativity understandable, please!

E.G.
-"The president once"
-"burned the foetus"
-"Of a famous"
-"black author called"
-"Billy Mays". (O.K., that's two words, but you can end the sentence there it it's funny.

Should be fairly-self explanatory, but I'll add new rules into the OP should they become necessary.

I'll start!

The government is....

training bear cavalry...

...to ensure that....

... France will be...

...subjected to horrible...

laceration of the

strange looking trees.

Albert Einstein was...

...the child of...

... a transsexual transvestite...

with no arms

...and three toes...

who was a...

...psychotic mercenary from...

...west birmingham alabama.
Scientology is actually...

EDIT: shit, ninja'd.

OT:the ancient practice...

...of lion breeding.

Atlantis's disappearance was...

actually just a...

...result of the...

gravity of the...

financial crisis was

in the mongol

nation of Mars.

The Mayan calendar...

is actually backwards.

Rome is really...

a landing site...

for giant flying...

aliens from outer...

lands of Canada.

Vegitarians accually want...

to own the...

Pork industry to...

make vegetables with...

fairly large earlobes.

the prince of..

Antarctica said that...

Princess Kate Middleton....

of Edileburg was...

Actually a giant...

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