I declare war on ___ with ___.

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I declare war on Tom Cruise with Tom Hanks!

I declare war on Barbas with doggie treats!

I declare war on the next poster with Justin Bieber saying baby over and over again until they scream for mercy.

I declare war on Fijiman with my ear-shattering screams for mercy.

I declare war on Bofus with ear plugs in my ears.

I declare war on Fijiman with American Sign Screaming, also known as A.S.S..

I declare war on Bonus with BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRG.

Bonus Teefus... more teefus than most.

I declare war on Fiji with the Blargen Flargen. It's of a Swedish design. I have no idea what is does, really.

I declare war on my nose with tissues!

I declare war on cats with laser rifles.

I declare war on hunger with...

I declare war on Kermit the frog with a cricket bat.

I declare war on Beavis and Butthead with math.

I declare war on Jesus with himself.

I declare war on spelling with my phone's crappy auto-correct function.

I declare war on disease with fire!

I declare war on fire with Barbas.

I declare war on Barbas with Clavicus!

I declare war on your clavicle with a baseball bat.

I declare war on stairs with motorbikes.

I declare war on pillows with humans.

I declare war on fudge with lager.

I declare war on my knees with furniture.

I declare war on robots with ladders.

I declare war on drugs with guns!

I declare war on sadness with sprightly nymphs!

I declare war on bunkers with vinegar and baking soda!

EDIT: Whoops. I swear that wasn't intentional. :<

I declare war on double posts with Barbas' face.

I declare war on taxes with nude parades.

I declare war on Barbas with barbed wire in a bar fight.

I declare war on Barbados with Babar the bloody big elephant.

I declare war on barbers with barkeeps, bar-backs, Baba Booey and bippety boppety boo.

I declare war on Babylon with bouncing bombs and baseball bats.

I declare war on a random chair with a flamethrower.

I declare war on wrenches with dodge-balls.

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