I declare war on ___ with ___.

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I declare war on thumbs with a deck of cards!

I declare war on the short with the shorter.

I declare war on turnips with mangos.

I declare war on Italy with Austria-Hungary!

I declare war on Osterlich with Bacteria!

I declare war on AAAAAARRRRRG with yorp.

I declare war on RNG with fixed dice.

I declare war on the Franks with the Normans.

I declare war on sleep with movies!

Redlin5:
I declare war on sleep with movies!

I declare war on movies with Brendan Frasier!

I declare war on food with my belly.

I declare war on aubergines with eye lasers.

I declare war on ads with annoyance.

I declare war on war with a worse war.

I declare war on awesome movies with my money.

I declare war on VCRs with hammers and axes.

I declare war on wine with John Oliver.

I declare war on tuna fish sandwiches with cheese and fire.

I declare war on being bored with trying to not be bored.

I declare war on the sky with flak.

I declare war on flak with rockets.

I declare war on productivity with internet.

I declare war on hunger with food!

I declare war on barf with borf.

I declare war on standing in line with John Pinette.

I declare war on flatulence with waffle irons.

I declare war on spines with cartoon magic.

I declare war on stars with flak.

I declare war on serenity with flatulence!

I declare war on pain with Ibuprofen.

I declare war on antibiotics with melons.

I declare war on drugs with heroine.

I declare war on beans and bandages with bullets and bombs.

I declare war on Oxfords with rouges.

Fijiman:
I declare war on Oxfords with rouges.

I declare war on rogues with bards.

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