King of the Hill: AVATAR EDITION

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The handshaking folk rematerialise, use unfair record deal to drain power from sentries and life from Engineer.

Retake position on hill.

*Uses nearby dispenser to regain life*
I think it's high time for some Frontier Justice.
*Point blank crits with shotgun*

With all those destroyed sentries, I got plenty of crits left.
Speaking of which...
*Rebuilds*

Yeah, but while you're busy building those, you can only look in one direction - and those crits won't do you any good when your spine's being torn out.

Come get some.

*Respaun*

You forgot to destroy th-

Beepbeepbeep ratatatat-BOOM

-the sentry. Heh.

You realise I'm not that easy to kill, right? There are only a few things in the world that can kill me, and even then I have the ability to just pull myself back together or regenerate any parts I can't reach. That is, if you can kill me in the first place, and no number of ordinary bullets are sufficient for that. So do you want to keep trying, hoping that more gun actually will work this time, or will you take the hint and leave. My. Hill?

You regenerate, pardner? Well I can respaun.

Sentries, keep shooting. Don't stop. Keep shooting rockets at that puddle of goop. I'll just build up some dispensers to make sure you don't run out of ammo.

Good luck killing me with limbs that get shot off right after you grow them.

Also, in case you don'tknow, sentries have the most gosh-darn knockback out of any weapon. Ever.

By the way, more gun always works.

Sets some bombchus up and sets them free in the direction of the dispensers and turrets. Launches at the Engineer.

He can respawn as much as he wants but he'll hafta remake all those dispensers and turrets. And I have 5 gallons of Red Potion here that say you can't take my thirsty ass down.

You sure about that? You can't even reduce me to that 'puddle of goop' you speak of. Even in broad daylight, no number of your arms can stop me. You might be able to hold me off, but you can't stop me.

I must admit, though, you are one of the more tenacious people I've ever opposed. Almost as tough as the Serpent. I'll let you live...for now. But the sun won't be around to light your path forever. And once it goes down, there is literally nothing you can do.

Arcueid Brunestud. Remember the name, because it'll be the last you think of as I tear you limb from limb.

*steals your teleporter just as the Bombchus arrive, leading me behind Link so I can beat his ass up*

Nice try, but this fairy in a bottle says your surprise attack didn't go quite as planned. Now we're in a face to face battle, you're gonna have to try harder than that. My shield is indestructible; pound on it all you want but it's never going to break. And my fancy gold gauntlets give me the strength to withstand any force you can put out. All I need is one good swipe to incapacitate and I can toss you down the hill.

Scrap that, more like to the other side of town. :D

My hill.

I may be durable, but that doesn't mean I'm not also agile - good luck landing that one good swipe or keeping your unbreakable shield facing me. And your pockets aren't big enough for an infinite number of bottles.

Being reincarnated several times over, I've got 10 generations worth of experience to back up all this fancy gear I've got stashed in hammer space.

May not be able to keep up with a god for days on end, but I'll be damned before going down without a fight.

Heh, you've got guts. I don't know just how much, but I'll find out soon enough - by tearing them out of your torso--

...Later. Wouldn't want to fight you at anything less than your best. Let you handle some others for now, so I know what I'm up against. Until then...Keep the hill warm for me, kid.

*Respaun*
So, boy, blow up my buildings will you? I ain't gonna let that slide. You may be good with that sword of yours, but yall ain't got nothin on an engineer when it comes to solving problems. Speaking of which, one problem I have is that you are on my hill, boy, and my solution?

Well, while I was talking I teleported the hill away to an undisclosed location. Now I go through, and I destroyed the entrance behind me.

Also, more sentries.

The handshakers return with black holes from the sky, sucking in the engineer and all of his sentries, and depositing them in another universe.

Hill is mine.

*Uses wrangler to shoot self, then respauns in original universe*

*Places teleporter under handshakers, teleporting THEM to another universe*

Sometimes you just need a little less gun.
But I'll build more sentries, just for good measure.

Oh, but they can use those black holes to return to the universe with the hill, and then use the steel breeze to launch the engineer, sentries, teleporter, and respawn point into the sun.

Hill is mine!

Wooo-we, the sun is mighty toasty, but it ain't nothin compared to Texas.

While I have been stayin here I managed to use my engineering skills to develop a missile containing the fusile material of the sun, which I have just launched at the hill. The Earth should explode right about...now. Looks like Texas is still intact, however.

Anyway, I also engineered up some magnetic devices and whatnot to create a "Hill" on the sun. I Also upgraded mah sentries to shoot peices of the sun instead of bullets.

THIS HILL IS MINE MOTHERFUCKER! TRY USING YOUR MACHINE GUNS NOW, SMARTASS!

MY. FUCKING. HILL!

I like your style, sir. But...I can't do anything here. If you'll excuse me?

*teleports back to what's left of Earth using Engie's teleporter and rebuilds world using power of [undefined]*
*sits on peak of Texan hill waiting for everyone else to notice*

Ah ha! The hill is now in New Texas! But lets see you withstand the sheer power of the handshake double punch!

*SHA-POW!*

*stands at pinnacle of hill, looking badass*

*Blasts Lear with blaster*

This hill is now property of the Empire

Move along

*uses Mystic Eye on stormtroopers*
This isn't the hill you're looking for. Move along.

*sits on now-vacated hill*

Avatar upgrade makes me armadillo tank. Armadillo tank blows up mind trick guy.

*parks on now re-vacated hill*

No chance, pal. Haven't you read the rest? I can shrug off the explosion, jump up to your exposed head and claw at it until what's left there is no longer recognisable as an armadillo, or as anything that was ever alive.

I can just build a new head, and unleash fire from my nostrils to burn you!

Now all that is left is ash.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

Don't quite know what Big Band is like yet, but I assume he's going to beat you up with musical instruments hidden in his trench coat.

So *saxophone noise* you.

Sorry, but I must defeat you by running you over until you are but a perfectly flat being with tread marks upon ye. *park*

MUST MELT THAT HELMET THING.

IT'S MY HILL.

Helmet? Helmet!?

IMMA ARMADILLO TANK, SHADOW GUY!

*many, many explosions*

My hill.

Back to Texas? Yall, I grew up there. You ain't nothin, boy.

*Places sun-shooting sentry near the hill, which quickly melts through the armadillo shell and the metal*

I also built a giant level 15 sentry, because it's Texas and everythings bigger in Texas.

Which means that now that I've rebuilt myself, I am now towering above ye! Heck, the explosive I've just used to annihilate you and your sentries just took out the whole hill, so now I am the hill!

A giant animal is the hill? Sounds like a good ol' fashoined rodeo to me!

YEEEE-HAAW

But it is easy to buck the Engineer (who surprisingly is an excellent rodeo cowboy), he being outmatched only by my size and strength. He is flung into Saturn.

Nothing but ash, you say?

I left a pile of ash there to make you feel secure while I went into town to think of a new plan. A nice old lady named Mrs. Conagher even let me stay in her house for that long. And you're saying that you're the hill now?

I'll just tear off your head again and then crawl inside to destroy every trace of you.

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