The 'Eater Of Socks' from UU stretches its usual diet to eat the shoes.

People who recognize that are gods among men.

The Gods among men (having recognised the reference to a series of books by a certain Mr Pratchett) set to do away with the eater of Socks before it turns it's attention to more meaty targets. Many of them fall in the ensuing battle, and all that is left is young Timothy Openheimer, a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich in one hand, the other hand clenched around the handle of his trusy wooden spoon

The mighty blazing rabbit of doom permanently shuts down Timothy Openheimer with his trusty blackjack.

Bill Murray, all drunk from a night of sexy antics with Simon Cowell, cuts off the Might Blazing Rabbit of Dooms foot, thinkiing it good luck.

Merriman walks up to Murray and says, "You're an alcoholic." Murray wails and runs away, weeping.

But unbeknownst to Merriman, Murray is running not out of sadness, but fear. A deep, uncontrolable fear that would drive men that were less stoned off their tits than him into madness. Merriman soon realises the horror he has brought apon this place. But for him, it is already too late.
For Dread Cthulhu Watches... and Dread Cthulhu waits...

The Clock Tower Sandwich, however, was waiting for this very moment. All of the symbols on its clock-face glow purple, and it fires rainbows, severely blinding and maiming Cthulhu!

The Clock Tower Sandwich, however, was weakened from the rainbow blast, and therefore unable to prevent itself from being eaten by Manbearpig.

Manbearpig only then faced the wrath of Booster-Grandma! She quickly stabbed manbearpig with her teeth in her hand. (my posts make no sense, yeah...)

Booster-Grandma is no match for the might of the Adeptus Astartes, who cut her down with righteous fury and bolter fire.

But, for all this time Cthulhu was reforming itself into its newer more powerful form: Super Ultra Mega Death Cthulhu! Picking up Adeptus Astartes, he disappears in a puff of red mist.

Thor flew down and cut the new Cthulhu apart with his hammer.

Stephen Hawking rolls up and asks Thor how he "cut" Cthulhu apart with a BLUNT weapon. Thor's head explodes from the paradox.

Spawn grabs Steven hawkins and throws him into the deepest pits of hell.

Suddenly Yoda jumps on, speech impediment forgotten, grabs Spawn by the scruff of the neck and yells "LISTEN FUCKFACE, THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE SPECIAL CHARACTER IN SOUL CALIBUR ON MICROSOFT CONSOLES. EAT SHIT AND DIE"

Spawn, surprised by this outburst, chokes on his own tongue.

Old Man Time lets Yoda know that he should be dead by now - I mean, come on. He's several hundred years old. Yoda promptly notices his logic and pops his clogs.

God breaks old man time in half while starting the apocalypse.

Logic suddenly appears and causes God to go into a spiraling rant about dinosaurs and the sun. God then explodes from the effort.

4chan kills logic by its presence.

I was willing to break rules one and two for this one.

The banhammer smashes 4chan to the ground and smashes a building to pieces.

Frado Baggins (and his boy toy Samwise... something) cart 4chan up to the top of mount doom (to cast it into the fire from which it was made). But along the way the influence of 4chan begins to corrupt the young master Baggins, He keeps Samwise awake at night with his snarls of "LOLZERS" and even the occasional "ROFL". When the time comes to throw the dastardly thing into the volcano. Samwise sees that Frodo is too corrupted to go through with it. So instead Conan the Barbarian lumbers in and knocks the two hobbits into the lava with his ripling chest and thighs.

Edit: Aw dammit, I knew that would happen

A lone ferret gnaws away at the handle of the Banhammer, leaving it more of a Banmallet. The Banmallet is too ashamed to be seen in public and leaves

A random spike come out from under the ferret and spears it.

A steamroller comes along and flattens the spike.

The steamroller (known as "big al") breaks down. The construction workers, after having paid their respects to such a dear friend, tossed it into a nearby dumpster. But it wasn't just any ordinary dumpster, It was ultra dumpster, a benign being that has waited since the dawn of time for his moment of glory, and now it has come. "Fear my wrath you Steamroller" he attempted to say, before swallowing it whole.

mario appears and smokes weed

dark_dragon:
mario appears and smokes weed

I don't see how that would defeat ultra dumpster (or anything else for that matter)

Ultra Garbage truck picks up Ultra Dumpster and swallows it whole.

The King Hobo was living in the ultra dumpster, he breaks out of the garbage truck and falls unconscious in a gutter from too much hooch

idk i just like weed throws a fire ball at the guy who asked him the question killing him instantly

dark_dragon:
idk i just like weed throws a fire ball at the guy who asked him the question killing him instantly

Shall we just ignore this cretin?
Yes why not.

King Hobo, having passed out on the pavement, doesn't notice the ant that crawls into his left (no wait, right) ear canal and buries itself deep into his brain.
"Now I,the ant, is in control" he cries, "Hey wake up!"

The ant, however, does not realize that the hobo's brain is toxic to all from the vast amounts of hooch he has consumed. The ant soon dies, giving the toxic brain the soul it needed to seperate itself from the hobo.

"Free at last!" The brain shouted for all to hear as it ripped itself from the hobo's skull (don't ask how).

Raz throws a door at the brain and fucks it up from the inside

Pinky, who had been searching for his friend Brain for days, found the dead husk of his friend. He launches himself at Raz and pulls his silly cap down over his face, suffocating him

A normal person catches Pinky in a mouse trap

Suddenly the normal person clutches his/her chest. An alien being bursts out from his/her stomach, spilling some sort of gunky stuff everywhere.