Just an amusing little idea I had.
Suppose you wanted to capture a member of the Escapist. How would you do it? You can either write it or post a pic.

Mine (please ignore my shitty MS Paint skills). If you need to ask who I'm trying to catch, you need to spend more time on these forums.

That'll definitely catch you a level 5 Iron Ninja.

A pitcher of Ultra-Punch, carefully place over some quicksand. Oh course, after catching him, he'd probably "gut me like a fish".

Ohhhh, Necroooooooo...

Poor Necro. I'm after bigger game though.

I'd get Mina Harker (? it's been about three years since I read the book) tied to a pole, then lie in wake with a garlic&silver dart.

Or maybe I'd grab Taven and do the same thing, only with liquid nitrogen.

If all that fails, maybe I'd put an ad in the newspapaer for a volcanic lair. That might work.

I'm interested what apparatuses will be assembled in the desire to catch me.

Anarchemitis:
I'm interested what apparatuses will be assembled in the desire to catch me.

...a volcanic lair? You're supposed to be a megalomaniac super-villan, right?

It's rather simple: I buy a large stack of books written by your favorite author, set them by a hair trigger that would cause a metal poles to rise up out of the ground and trap you, and then light the books on fire. Your book loving sensibilities would overpower your "why the hell is there a pile of flaming Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman/Somebody else books right here" logic.

Sorrow, can we demonstrate our enormous egos by telling each other why their theorys won't work?

Anarchemitis:
I'm interested what apparatuses will be assembled in the desire to catch me.

The_Logician19:
Sorrow, can we demonstrate our enormous egos by telling each other why their theorys won't work?

I do love a good dick-waving contest.
Anyone here know how to catch me?

The Sorrow:

The_Logician19:
Sorrow, can we demonstrate our enormous egos by telling each other why their theorys won't work?

I do love a good dick-waving contest.
Anyone here know how to catch me?

How do you catch Alucard? He can teleport, AND walk through walls!

Maybe a monologue will keep him standing there for a while, though.

Lord Krunk:

The Sorrow:

The_Logician19:
Sorrow, can we demonstrate our enormous egos by telling each other why their theorys won't work?

I do love a good dick-waving contest.
Anyone here know how to catch me?

How do you catch Alucard? He can teleport, AND walk through walls!

Maybe a monologue will keep him standing there for a while, though.

Can't catch Alucard, but can you catch me, The Sorrow?

Anarchemitis:
I'm interested what apparatuses will be assembled in the desire to catch me.

I can see this bait backfiring on me really quickly, though...

The Sorrow:

Lord Krunk:

The Sorrow:

The_Logician19:
Sorrow, can we demonstrate our enormous egos by telling each other why their theorys won't work?

I do love a good dick-waving contest.
Anyone here know how to catch me?

How do you catch Alucard? He can teleport, AND walk through walls!

Maybe a monologue will keep him standing there for a while, though.

Can't catch Alucard, but can you catch me, The Sorrow?

So injecting you with garlic and sunlight doesn't work? Damn, I'll have to think of something more clever...

TheNecroswanson:

First, I dig a HUGE ASS PIT! Then, I cover it with a net, then cover that net with leaves, then place a sheet of paper on those leaves. And what does that sheet of paper say?
"Write a coherent sentence and save the intarwebs!"
Yes, it's just too good to pass up. Muahahahahahhahahahah!

Witty responses that go through The Logician's head as he sees it:

"Subtlety isn't your cup of tea, is it?"

"OMG, WTF?!?"

"If I had a dime for every time this happened, I'd have three sevety-five."

"Humanity was doomed anyway."

The one he choses is...

"The internet was overrated, anyways..."

TheNecroswanson:
Yes but that's when I push you into the pit! See? It's the perfect plan.

Unless I sidestep you and push you into the pit! It's the perfect plan!

How to catch Necro: Stroke his ego until he does something stupid! Everyone underestimates The Logician!

Hmmmm... How to catch a Logician...

I would take a single wooden sign and stick it in the middle of a field. The sign would read "There Is A Totally Dangerous Trap Here That Will Trap You." As the Logician walks by he will deduce that the purpose of a trap is to catch your opponent unawares and thus the sign cannot actually be trapped.

However, he will also deduce that there must be a trap somewhere in the vicinity if the sign is to have any purpose whatsoever (as a distraction from the actual trap). And it would be illogical for anyone to expend the energy to put up the sign for no purpose whatsoever.

Having conluded that there is a trap of some sort near him, but that it cannot be next to the sign itself, he will decide that the area around the sign is the safest immediate locale and move toward it. He will go behind the sign and see the back for the first time. The back will read:

"To travel from any point in space to any other point in space one must first cross half the distance (1/2 of whole). Then one must cross half of the remaining distance (1/4 of whole). And then, once again, cross half of the remaining distance (1/8 of whole). This traveling of half distances will continue to infinity, and never reach the whole value of 1. Therefore point B may never be reached by traveling from point A. Which means you can never escape from the area around this sign Logician. Yes, You Logician. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

The Logician will then sit down and wait for capture. It would be illogical to expend the energy trying to escape when its been mathematically proven as impossible.

HA! Caught in a prison of your own logic! I'm so evil!

More elaborate traps to come. (I'm looking at you Sorrow!)

Okey.
My bait would be Yahtzee and I want all of you to bite.
Come on who does not like Yahtzee?
I bet your dream of eating him dont you because he's too yummy!

Murrah:
Okey.
My bait would be Yahtzee and I want all of you to bite.
Come on who does not like Yahtzee?
I bet your dream of eating him dont you because he's too yummy!

...The Horror...The Horror!

My trap;

-Three trolls complaining about feminism, stating that men are clearly superior.

-Rats in distress.

-A book entitled "How to make editing Queen of Hearts much, much easier"

-A descending impenetrable cage.

-Win.

I would attach a carrot dipped in chocolate to a new copy of Portal and suspend them from one of those greyhound racetrack things which wormed its way into, you guessed it, a giant hedge maze. I would then skip merrily after the rabbit with a hunting rifle.

All of those were valiant attempts to catch my genius, but I saw through them on closer inspection.
Volcanic Lair, maybe, but the curtains weren't the right colour.
A Steampunk convention? Never heard of such a thing, too awesome to exist and therefore cannot exist. (Ultrajoe is Epic, it falls under a different scaling system.)
Homestar Runner? The Brothers Chaps are sellouts. (Say it ain't so!) It is so so.

I would trap Yahtzee by:

-Setting a shiny new trilby on a desk
-Underneath the hat is a big heaping jar of Branston pickle
-Sparred on by curiosity of this, as well as drugs I planted in the Branston pickle, he wanders over to the torture chamber to see the new Banjo Kazooie all tied up, ready to be destroyed
-After a sound thrashing, Yahtzee continues on to find what appears to be the alpha test for Portal 2.
-As Yahtzee walks to the PC with Portal 2, he finds that it is merely a wallpaper just in time for a cage door to slam shut behind him.

Can anyone trap me? Danzorz's trap would trap me, but it would do the same to everyone on the interwebs, I want to see if anyone can tailor a trap specifically I would fall into ^_^

How to catch Birras: Supplies
One gigantic cage.
A "Free Chaingun!" sign.

The Sorrow:
How to catch Birras: Supplies
One gigantic cage.
A "Free Chaingun!" sign.

No, no, no: Use a Nuclear bunker buster as bait. Trust me: it works every time.

Oh, rotten-butter......

COR 2000:

Oh, rotten-butter......

It'll take more than that to catch me.

How to catch COR 2000:

Kidnap George Lucas, and suspend him over a vat of sulfuric acid, then tell COR to lock himself in a cage, or Mr. Lucas goes for a little swim.

Anarchemitis:
All of those were valiant attempts to catch my genius, but I saw through them on closer inspection.
Volcanic Lair, maybe, but the curtains weren't the right colour.
A Steampunk convention? Never heard of such a thing, too awesome to exist and therefore cannot exist. (Ultrajoe is Epic, it falls under a different scaling system.)
Homestar Runner? The Brothers Chaps are sellouts. (Say it ain't so!) It is so so.

You didn't even mention my burning books trap... :(

Variation to trap fangirls: Light a copy of Twilight on fire while it's rigged to a trap. I get to burn that book AND trap all those pesky fangirls at my school. :D

Khedive Rex:
Hmmmm... How to catch a Logician...

I would take a single wooden sign and stick it in the middle of a field. The sign would read "There Is A Totally Dangerous Trap Here That Will Trap You." As the Logician walks by he will deduce that the purpose of a trap is to catch your opponent unawares and thus the sign cannot actually be trapped.

However, he will also deduce that there must be a trap somewhere in the vicinity if the sign is to have any purpose whatsoever (as a distraction from the actual trap). And it would be illogical for anyone to expend the energy to put up the sign for no purpose whatsoever.

Having conluded that there is a trap of some sort near him, but that it cannot be next to the sign itself, he will decide that the area around the sign is the safest immediate locale and move toward it. He will go behind the sign and see the back for the first time. The back will read:

"To travel from any point in space to any other point in space one must first cross half the distance (1/2 of whole). Then one must cross half of the remaining distance (1/4 of whole). And then, once again, cross half of the remaining distance (1/8 of whole). This traveling of half distances will continue to infinity, and never reach the whole value of 1. Therefore point B may never be reached by traveling from point A. Which means you can never escape from the area around this sign Logician. Yes, You Logician. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

The Logician will then sit down and wait for capture. It would be illogical to expend the energy trying to escape when its been mathematically proven as impossible.

HA! Caught in a prison of your own logic! I'm so evil!

Now, how to catch a King of Kings...

No, that won't work, I'm trying to catch a person named The King of Kings...

Which means I have to catch the person...I've got an idea!

We are catching them for the purpose of playing tag, right?

...I'm very sorry...

I really wish someone would try to catch me...*Sigh* I guess my bait is just a little too obvious.