I arrest you for committing suicide. Repeatedly.

can anyone be more original to mine other than suicide??
=[
And then i arrest you combine for loitering!

Actually, you didn't died of suicide. I killed you with my sniper rifle before you shot yourself..

Random argument man:
Actually, you didn't died of suicide. I killed you with my sniper rifle before you shot yourself..

ohhh creative

I take the three h's in your previous sentence and beat you to death with them.

I would take the bird beak and smash it in your skull while strangling you with the sweater

id stick that stick up your ass then up your throat until you die

Beat him over the head with the bells, light him on fire, and when he's out, peck him to death.

Dr. Gregory Freeman would shoot the fricken bird, then bring it back to life with his doctoring abilities, and kill it again.

Mr. Putin ransacks all the oil in the world and wait for the global powers to disintegrate under the might of the new Russian Empire.

That or I'd have my green friends beat you up, stick a compass down your throat and suffocate with with my red comfy chair.

"They aren't dead? What the hell?"

They're devoted bastards, aren't they?

"Devoted to death, maybe."

Do you want me to fire the beam cannon again?

"No. I don't think that'll stop 'em."

I know, but it would be fun.

"You think murder is fun, Jerry? What the hell?"

Only if they're all cunts.

"You're a bastard, Jerry."

I learned from the best.

"Are you saying I'm a bastard??"

Actually I was talking about Purple Rain, but you'll do in a pinch.

"Wow, just...wow."

I'm gonna fire the beam cannon, anyway. I spent a lot of your money on it and goddamn it, I'm gonna use it.

"Wait, so this entire starfleet was funded by me?"

No, just the cannon.

"Oh fine. Fire the cannon."

(fifteen minutes later)

It missed.

"How the hell did it miss? It's the radius of half a friggin' planet!"

Someone mistook a six for a nine. I'm looin' at you, Fred.

"It happens to me all the time, Fred, it's no big deal. Anyway, what are we going to do now?"

We could fire a planet destroyer. It's basically just a hollow metal shell capable of destroying entire planets.

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

The_Logician19:
"They aren't dead? What the hell?"

They're devoted bastards, aren't they?

"Devoted to death, maybe."

Do you want me to fire the beam cannon again?

"No. I don't think that'll stop 'em."

I know, but it would be fun.

"You think murder is fun, Jerry? What the hell?"

Only if they're all cunts.

"You're a bastard, Jerry."

I learned from the best.

"Are you saying I'm a bastard??"

Actually I was talking about Purple Rain, but you'll do in a pinch.

"Wow, just...wow."

I'm gonna fire the beam cannon, anyway. I spent a lot of your money on it and goddamn it, I'm gonna use it.

"Wait, so this entire starfleet was funded by me?"

No, just the cannon.

"Oh fine. Fire the cannon."

(fifteen minutes later)

It missed.

"How the hell did it miss? It's the radius of half a friggin' planet!"

Someone mistook a six for a nine. I'm looin' at you, Fred.

"It happens to me all the time, Fred, it's no big deal. Anyway, what are we going to do now?"

We could fire a planet destroyer. It's basically just a hollow metal shell capable of destroying entire planets.

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

Sounds like Unforgotten Realms interpretation of Star Wars.

i would use my dark magic to get you eaten by dark creatures of the nethervoid

Puppeteer Putin:

The_Logician19:
"They aren't dead? What the hell?"

They're devoted bastards, aren't they?

"Devoted to death, maybe."

Do you want me to fire the beam cannon again?

"No. I don't think that'll stop 'em."

I know, but it would be fun.

"You think murder is fun, Jerry? What the hell?"

Only if they're all cunts.

"You're a bastard, Jerry."

I learned from the best.

"Are you saying I'm a bastard??"

Actually I was talking about Purple Rain, but you'll do in a pinch.

"Wow, just...wow."

I'm gonna fire the beam cannon, anyway. I spent a lot of your money on it and goddamn it, I'm gonna use it.

"Wait, so this entire starfleet was funded by me?"

No, just the cannon.

"Oh fine. Fire the cannon."

(fifteen minutes later)

It missed.

"How the hell did it miss? It's the radius of half a friggin' planet!"

Someone mistook a six for a nine. I'm looin' at you, Fred.

"It happens to me all the time, Fred, it's no big deal. Anyway, what are we going to do now?"

We could fire a planet destroyer. It's basically just a hollow metal shell capable of destroying entire planets.

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

Sounds like Unforgotten Realms interpretation of Star Wars.

Thanks. I happen to like Unforgotten Realms, although I wouldn't count them as one of my comedic influences.

Oh yeah, and the planet destroyer hits what remains of earth, destroying it, and everything on it, completely. Apologies for the genocide.

ahhh impale the dot on your forehead (showing me where to put the bullet) with fiery fireworks

i'd bubble that thing and then jump on it

i'd fill your gob with hot tofu covered in mezzo. then gouge your eyes with a pen and break your nonexistent sack with a wrench.

i will use my m16 and knife to shoot and knife u dead

disturbed88:
I will use my M16 and knife to shoot and stab you dead

But because you have yet to do so I run both of you through with by book sword (book sword, mighter than the pen).

I'd, uh...Smile? then throw my Top hat Oddjob style at your face.Your armored face.

I'd kick that top-hat square off your head! Wahhhhhhhhh

I would grab the yellow spikey thing in the background and start severing things off you.

I would fly around your bullets and then use a bomb

Your Avatar is humorous, In soviet Russia Tim Curry would charge your family for the bullets used in your own execution.
[edit]
Scrath that, Nr Geometry posted fist.

Tim Curry would use that geometry to build a missile Silo.

I would use my unicorn summoning powers to call upon the forces of the night and crush you with a death rainbow, mwahahaha.

Kill your disturbing unicorn with an Energy Sword.

Beat you in a starring content. Against Mr. Putin you would of suffered a brain hemorrhage and collapse from internal bleeding.

Or laugh yourself to death because he's trying to look like Agent Smith.

Kick his ex-KGB ass with my Judo Crow powers and then stab him with a pencil, then finish him off with the matrix moves I learned.

Jump into a choppa! Drive it, and have Watari/Wammy shoot you down like a dog!

Since fighting the letter L would be lame, I instead turn to fight link.

It doesn't end well.

I just think "Why the hell am I versing a red paper cutout of something" *walks off*

Bite your marshmallow-like face off.
Then gnaw on your...tofu sticks?

I give you a dose of crack, landing you in my imaginary box.

You can be anything you want to be here!

...

then I slit your throat.

i'd throw you with my compasses while sitting at my luxurous chair, then i'd handshake you to death