Well, the trap is set for anyone who tries. I'm certainly not going for it at this point.
I hold it with my person using a Zero-Point Energy Field Manipulator.

I use a combine weapon removal field to supercharge your Grav-Gun, shunting it off for a few seconds. Making the carrot fall to the ground, exploding with enough force to knock you off your feet but leave the carrot unharmed due to the nature of explodium.

Rather then hide the carrot I build a castle around it protected by sumo-ninjas.

With a cry of "Exterminate!" I charge into battle against the sumo-ninjas, I quickly defeat with blasts from my energy weapon. After the final warrior has fallen to might of my weapon I quickly steal the carrot with my manipulator arm and vanish with a Emergency Temporal Shift to a random place in time.

I use an army of atheists to kill god and then take the carrot. It is now in a blue box within the cave of blue boxes and bears.

I kill your guards, and put the carrot in a copy machine, thus turning it into 256 000 carrots.

My last sumo-ninja sneaks past you and collects the real carrot, which by now has a verey unique smell.

Using my natural lack of scenting, as the Emu has no working olfactory sense due to a horrific accident at the Flightless Bird Training camp, I bribe the sumo with copious amounts of rum, fresh from the Morgan brewery.

After he falls into a drunken rest, I promptly use my pact with the devil to turn the carrot into my undead slave, who will fight to the death to return to the Emu, its immortal master.

I normally wouldn't mess with an undead carrot, but I use my pact with Mephistopheles to change the undead carrot back into a normal carrot. Then I hide it in a giant lava fortress with an army of Trinity clones and Spartans to guard it, the carrot itself in a Fort Knox-like structure within the fortress, surrounded with bulletproof glass, playing Soulja boy on repeat at 190 dbs.

I use the Carrot Radar (similar to the Dragon Radar of DBZ fame), and after many wacky adventures involving lots of exploding mountains obtain the carrot shards. After summoning Baalzemon himself to reform the carrot and infuse the carrot with demonic energy, I request Baalzemon's assistance in guarding the carrot from the forces of good (which is everyone else). I also set Navi as a sentry/mental probe as I build a fortress of pure, inescapable awesomeite around the carrot.

In addition, the carrot is protected by a horde of Ninja Emus.

Using skills gathered from Trauma Center: Under the Knife, I perform a stomach pumping on deepdarkz. However, since my skills don't transfer logically to the real world, I (accidentally?) cause a flesh eating virus to infest his stomach. He dies a slow, painful death as I place the carrot in a tear in dimensional space time, only accessible by my voice print code. I then proceed to rip out my own vocal cords and thrust them into the burning inferno of my once-great fortress.

Haw.

Being Agent Smith, I become you, and open the tear with ease. Then, I enlarge the carrot to 200 000 000 000 times it's size, crushing everybody else.

Well then I eat deepdarkz. There must be some small amount of carrot matter in his rear still.

I fly in and use the pop-sickle sticks' one weakness:The comedic stylings of Jeff Dunham!

Wild POP-SICKLE STICK wants to battle

You win!

I then hide the carrot in an alternate dimenson comprised of a white room with a large moose that eats walnuts!

I send Illyria to steal the carrot, which I put in the "corrodor of really really long length so maybe it's just best to turn back because you'll get tired of walking down here anyway, oh look a bug".

I arrive out of nowhere ( as usual ) and send my army of flying monkeys to take the carrot. they all explode in a shower of blood, gore and carrot blood and carrot gore (due to the Eplodium. I then use my Star Destroyers to make a blockade around the remnants of the carrot and send out a clone army of Commander Spocks to fetch the pieces and sow them back together. BUT ONLY PARTIALLY! I separate the carrot into 3 fragments which I place at 3 different locations.

Location 1 : Underneath Jabba the Hut

Location 2 : Inside my Lightsaber made of diamonds.... DEATH DIAMONDS!!!!!

Location 3 : Behind one of the 1,000,000 Spock clones eye

Did I mention that all the spocks are Sith Lords? and that I am an undead Vampire Sith lord...

who eats babies...

every sunday....

at breakfast...

mmmmmmmmmm

I send my Sith Spocks to the developer's house and threaten him into making it available again. I create a new carrot, identical to the first and take it. I then go to your PC and destroy its Hard Drive also destroying that carrot forever. Once this is done I take your carrot magnet, thinking "hmmmm this'll come in handy later on..." and laugh while driving back to my Super Star Destroyer in a Camaro made for S P A C E ! ! ! ! I now have a Carrot that is true to the original.

ignore this post.

I place a Dictionary atop DeepDarkz' head. It crushes his frail grammatical body. Out of agony he proclaims the location of the carrot, which I then procure, place into a pool of fudge laced with bad chocolate, guarded by 4 sentient armored CAT D9s.
The Dozers have flamethrowers.

I take it.

I hide it.

Ninjas need not explain further.

I upload your mind to an extremely powerful computer and torture this copy of you into telling me where the carrot is by exposing it to unhealthy amounts of 4chan. After learning of the carrot's location, I simply drive there and take the undefended, poorly hidden vegetable and place it in a heavily defended carrot processing plant.