Why did you kill the above avatar?

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Created the hashtag #VotePiersMorgan

He grew up on a farm, and I'm a bigot towards the countryside.

Incorrectly predicted sunny skies

Toxic masculinity.

He tried to set fire to the bathroom.

Let one rip on the deceased

He fleeced the Greeks.

His cursing was so bad it set off the chemical alarms

Because he didn't bring yesterday back around.

Expected everyone to their porridge with chopsticks

He was directed by Uwe Boll.

He parked his jet on the stage during rehearsals

Crashed an experimental stealth tank into the experimental stealth hot dog stand.

Gave me a cheese and ketchup sandwich

Attempted to fit the battlecruiser between two shipyards and did not succeed, at great cost.

Voted on my behalf, even when I told him I don't vote.

Refused to put down the keg.

Left a floater that stank like hell.

For his terrible Charles Dance impression.

Fur das Vaterland.

To restore balance to the cutlery.

Swiped the microphone from me during my coronation to yell "Fuck her right in the pussy" at the audience of dignitaries.

Funded Human Centipede 6.

Was gonna die anyway.

He was in the wrong sewer level.

He insisted on taking the long way round and got us lost

He noodled and poodled most distressingly.

He botched every grenade throw

He tried putting on a Beiber CD.

Made the tea with cold water

Accidentally coded in a glitch that made the final level unbeatable.

Amputated the wrong leg

Cycled backward, causing a ten-bike pileup.

I was aiming for the fly on his George Cross

Insufficient laughter.

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