Why did you kill the above avatar?

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Because I am a violent sociopath and need to be institutionalised.

He ate my property!

For suplexing the judges through the tables when his marrows didn't win

He did start the fire!

For having too many collectables and shitty maps

My upbringing.

Test the effectiveness of puke grenades

What? Oh, s**t. What was he doing on the range???

He might have free games on him

I thought he was made of food.

T'was a deathmatch of grand proportions and it was just just us

I told him not to run in the god-damned hallways.

Kept splitting his infinitives

Kept gluing the chairs to the floor in the sergeants' mess.

Refusing to go for 100% even with a guide

What? It was a legit. flanking tactic.

Said Vernon Kay was funny

He tried to resurrect Bernard Manning.

His AI was shite

He was doing unauthorized aerial acrobatics in the Gazelle.

Hogged all the Jaffa cakes

He was spaced beyond belief.

Wore a sequin tank-top with orange corduroy trousers

He tried to knock the ISS out of orbit.

For eating the satellite

He was attacking the geese with a hockey stick.

Scored 6 own goals in the same match

His response: "Apparently, I was supposed to stick in the goal at the other end, which was stupid, cause there's a load of their players up that end."

He flatly refused to make the walls stop melting.

Shat in the locker

'E was mumping.

Put the mayonnaise in the larder

He dissed TGWTG.

Sold his BFG-9000 for feckin' Batarang

He spelunked in the wrong cave system.

For playing swing and bebop during training

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