Is a long term relationship the preferable setting for sex?
Yes, male, non-religious
42.7% (38)
42.7% (38)
Yes, female, non-religious
6.7% (6)
6.7% (6)
No, male, non-religious
23.6% (21)
23.6% (21)
No, female, non-religious
6.7% (6)
6.7% (6)
Yes, male, religious
14.6% (13)
14.6% (13)
Yes, female, religious
1.1% (1)
1.1% (1)
No, male, religious
2.2% (2)
2.2% (2)
No, female, religious
1.1% (1)
1.1% (1)
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Poll: Is a long term relationship the preferable setting for sex?

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I don't want to ask you "Should your parents that have been married for a long time have sex?" because that's how you could possibly interpret the title. I mean, if you have sex, should this preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? Do you have problems with one night stands et cetera?

I do think sex should preferably happen in a long term relationship. It's best for two reasons.
1. My emotional satisfaction. Good sex is a highly complex interaction between two human beings, and highly complex interactions are often better if you're 'used' to each other.
2. My worth (to my partner). I don't think many of you would want a partner that has had sex with 500 different persons. Sorry, but I don't want it, and I could explain all the evo-psych-reasons I have for that.

So, what I'd like to see...
Information;
-Gender
-Specific religion you adhere
Questions you could (generally) answer;
-Is a long term relationship the preferable setting for sex?
-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
-Do you care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? Do you prefer one thing over the other?

*By the way, I'm male and I don't adhere to any specific religion*

Male
Christianity (Brethren in Christ)

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
Not unless the two people are married.

-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I think it's a bad idea, but it's not my place to judge them.

-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
It would definitely bother me, but I'm not sure if it would be a deal breaker and I don't think I would know that unless I was actually in that situation.

-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
Marriage is very important to me.

Eh.
I'm female and an atheist.

I'm hesitant to vote, because I don't judge people who want/have casual sex, because why would I? If two adults who consent want to bump uglies then who am I to say it's wrong?
I've never had a one-night stand, I've only ever had sex in a commited relationship, but I'm not the type to tell other people they are `doing it wrong`.

It's the right choice for me to only have sex with someone I am in a commited relationship with, but whats right for me may not be right for someone else.

TL;DR, Live and Let Hump.

EDIT: As for the specific questions

What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
If it makes them happy, then great.

Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
Eh. Neither me or my boyfriend were virgins when we met and he's had more girlfriends than I've had boyfriends, and it used to bother me (because I am kind of emotionally inexperienced). But I don't think I could say. It might bother me, but I doubt it would stop me from loving him.

Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
I think marrying young is a bad, bad idea. You either grow together or you grow apart, and I dont think you should tie the knot without knowing fully. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years (nearly), and while I do see us getting married one day, not yet. We aren't mature enough yet.

Alright, well I'm male, and a practical atheist (so, no religion really).

Preferably, I would rather have sex in a long-term relationship, though I have no particular issues with something like a one-night stand (except things like a higher risk of getting STDs or so on). There's more trust and more of an emotional connection in a long-term relationship, which tends to reflect in the sex, not to mention the fact that I have, well, specific tastes that might be awkward to introduce to someone I barely know during a one-night stand.

As far as my partner having many previous sexual partners goes, I'd probably be more self-conscious with that knowledge in mind, but I could live with it, although I'd probably be more insecure about myself in a relationship like that. I probably wouldn't think less of a person who had many sexual partners if they didn't already strike me as unpleasant for other reasons.

I don't even know whether I'm entirely set on getting married, so 'no sex before marriage' hardly seems like a good policy for me to adopt. I'd be fine as long as it was a long-term relationship.

Male
I take morality from multiple sources and I am not superstitious (or Non-Religious)

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
It is nobodies business aside from the two (or more) consenting adults
-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I judge not lest I be judged
-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
No, because that was BEFORE me, as long as she is free from STDs/STIs I couldn't care less
-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
I think marriage is pointless, "I Love You" means more than "I Do" any day

Phasmal:
I'm hesitant to vote, because I don't judge people who want/have casual sex, because why would I?

So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?

And, what do you think about a potential partner that had a lot of casual sex with a lot of different partners? (Assuming he/she did it safe and is STD-free)

Danyal:

Phasmal:
I'm hesitant to vote, because I don't judge people who want/have casual sex, because why would I?

So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?

And, what do you think about a potential partner that had a lot of casual sex with a lot of different partners? (Assuming he/she did it safe and is STD-free)

No, if my daughter is smart and taking precautions and just not up for a relationship, why should I give a fuck?
Cause she's a girl?
If it was my son it'd be practically expected.

And as I put above, it'd probably bother me but not that much. Everybody has a history, part of being grown-up is realising that.

EDIT: Obviously I'd want my kid to be happy, but if they dont want a relationship, who am I to come in slut-shaming her and guilting her to get a boyfriend?
EDIT2: Why are you banging on the `daughter` thing? Why not `son`?

Suicidejim:
not to mention the fact that I have, well, specific tastes that might be awkward to introduce to someone I barely know during a one-night stand.

Hm... I understand.

Suicidejim:
If that bastard dares to try and take away my turkey-on-donkey-on Palestinian midget porn then I will be forced to paint the streets red with his blood.

:P

Tipsy Giant:

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
It is nobodies business aside from the two (or more) consenting adults
-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I judge not lest I be judged

So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?

Danyal:

Suicidejim:
not to mention the fact that I have, well, specific tastes that might be awkward to introduce to someone I barely know during a one-night stand.

Hm... I understand.

Suicidejim:
If that bastard dares to try and take away my turkey-on-donkey-on Palestinian midget porn then I will be forced to paint the streets red with his blood.

:P

Cross-referencing my posts? You crafty bastard, Danyal :P

Phasmal:
No, if my daughter is smart and taking precautions and just not up for a relationship, why should I give a fuck?
Cause she's a girl?
If it was my son it'd be practically expected.

I'm male, and my parents expected me to have long term relationships. They preferred me being gay and having a stable relationship above me having sex with another girl every 3 days.

Phasmal:
Everybody has a history, part of being grown-up is realising that.

More people should grow up.

I'm female, athiest.

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
In general for a healthy relationship, yes.

-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
There's nothing wrong with someone deciding a long-term relationship isn't right for them.

-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
If they are STD-free, no problem.

-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?

Marriage holds no personal importance to me.

Edit: Wow, I also totally misinterpreted the question, the way it was phrased. I don't believe sex is better intended for long-term relationships. Sex holds different value to different person, as do relationships themselves. There is no one "right" answer.

Danyal:

Suicidejim:
not to mention the fact that I have, well, specific tastes that might be awkward to introduce to someone I barely know during a one-night stand.

Hm... I understand.

Suicidejim:
If that bastard dares to try and take away my turkey-on-donkey-on Palestinian midget porn then I will be forced to paint the streets red with his blood.

:P

Tipsy Giant:

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
It is nobodies business aside from the two (or more) consenting adults
-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I judge not lest I be judged

So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?

Why my daughter? do you think boys and girls should be subjected to different scrutinies?

I wouldn't care as long as she (or he) is happy

Danyal:

Phasmal:
No, if my daughter is smart and taking precautions and just not up for a relationship, why should I give a fuck?
Cause she's a girl?
If it was my son it'd be practically expected.

I'm male, and my parents expected me to have long term relationships. They preferred me being gay and having a stable relationship above me having sex with another girl every 3 days.

Thats cool, but I don't get the `what about ur daughter` argument.
Another part of growing up is realising your parents bonked, and your kid will too.
I'd rather not think of anything my future kid might get up to, but we don't announce our sex lives to our mothers, and if my daughter wants to go casual for a while, I doubt I would even know. And even if I did, why would I care?

-Male
-Atheist

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
It doesn't matter as long as both parties are consenting to it.

-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
None of my business really so I honestly don't care.

-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
I might be self-conscious but I wouldn't in any way be angry or upset with her.

-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
I'd rather be dating the person for well over a year or to before actually tying the not.

Female
Atheist

Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
That's up to the individuals involved.

What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I hope they have fun.

Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
Not if he was honest about it.

Tipsy Giant:

Why my daughter? do you think boys and girls should be subjected to different scrutinies

Phasmal:

Thats cool, but I don't get the `what about ur daughter` argument.

A lot of people here get quite emotional when it's about their children and sex. While I don't think my son and daughter should be treated different regarding sex, a lot of people do see differences between the genders regarding sexuality, and probably everyone sees those differences subconsciously.

Also, look at the difference we can already see...;

Yes, male, non-religious -45.5% (5)
Yes, female, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, male, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, female, non-religious -18.2% (2)

Until now, 2 out of 3 women don't think sex should generally/preferably happen in a long term relationship, while 5 out of 6 males do think that.

Danyal:

Yes, male, non-religious -45.5% (5)
Yes, female, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, male, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, female, non-religious -18.2% (2)

Until now, 2 out of 3 women don't think sex should generally/preferably happen in a long term relationship, while 5 out of 6 males do think that.

I haven't voted cause your poll is misleading, and because I don't care either way so what button do I press.
EDIT: Misleading as in theres no middle ground. I dont care either way.

Danyal:

Tipsy Giant:

Why my daughter? do you think boys and girls should be subjected to different scrutinies

Phasmal:

Thats cool, but I don't get the `what about ur daughter` argument.

A lot of people here get quite emotional when it's about their children and sex. While I don't think my son and daughter should be treated different regarding sex, a lot of people do see differences between the genders regarding sexuality, and probably everyone sees those differences subconsciously.

Also, look at the difference we can already see...;

Yes, male, non-religious -45.5% (5)
Yes, female, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, male, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, female, non-religious -18.2% (2)

Until now, 2 out of 3 women don't think sex should generally/preferably happen in a long term relationship, while 5 out of 6 males do think that.

right but that is what the women have chosen for themselves, you are asking if I would be angry at her for making her own choice, i'm sure if you ask women whether they should be able to choose for themselves, they'd all vote yes

Phasmal:

I haven't voted cause your poll is misleading, and because I don't care either way so what button do I press.

What is misleading? Do you think sex should preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? If you prefer it, vote yes, if you don't care, you don't prefer it, so you vote no. If there is some kind of sausage in your underpants, choose male. No sausage? Choose female. And if you're religious, choose the religious option, if you're not, the other one.

I thought it was quite simple.

Phasmal:

I haven't voted cause your poll is misleading, and because I don't care either way so what button do I press.
EDIT: Misleading as in theres no middle ground. I dont care either way.

Agreed on that. I voted "Yes, male, non-religious" because that's how I approach relationships personally, but as a whole I'm pretty neutral, which doesn't have any equivalent on the poll. I don't mind if other people have casual sex, it's their choice.

Phasmal:

Danyal:

Yes, male, non-religious -45.5% (5)
Yes, female, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, male, non-religious -9.1% (1)
No, female, non-religious -18.2% (2)

Until now, 2 out of 3 women don't think sex should generally/preferably happen in a long term relationship, while 5 out of 6 males do think that.

I haven't voted cause your poll is misleading, and because I don't care either way so what button do I press.
EDIT: Misleading as in theres no middle ground. I dont care either way.

Well uh, I actually clicked the wrong one because I read the title and misinterpreted it to be the trivial "Should people who are in long term relationships have sex" XP

Tipsy Giant:

right but that is what the women have chosen for themselves, you are asking if I would be angry at her for making her own choice, i'm sure if you ask women whether they should be able to choose for themselves, they'd all vote yes

Heh? I asked you...
'So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?'

I'm not asking if you would be angry, I am asking you if you prefer one above the other.

Danyal:

Phasmal:

I haven't voted cause your poll is misleading, and because I don't care either way so what button do I press.

What is misleading? Do you think sex should preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? If you prefer it, vote yes, if you don't care, you don't prefer it, so you vote no. If there is some kind of sausage in your underpants, choose male. No sausage? Choose female. And if you're religious, choose the religious option, if you're not, the other one.

I thought it was quite simple.

It depends on how you read it. You could read no as, "No I don't mind or care" or "No, I think sex shouldn't happen in a long term relationship," (or, more precisely, that casual sex is the better option) which is a completely different kettle of fish.

Phasmal:
EDIT: Misleading as in theres no middle ground. I dont care either way.

That's not misleading. You either prefer it, or you don't. There's not that much middle ground between "I prefer it" and "I do not prefer it".

Suicidejim:
Agreed on that. I voted "Yes, male, non-religious" because that's how I approach relationships personally, but as a whole I'm pretty neutral, which doesn't have any equivalent on the poll. I don't mind if other people have casual sex, it's their choice.

Well, I didn't ask you "Should casual sex be banned?". Interpret the poll as 'personal'. It seems like you prefer a long term relationship above casual sex.

Suicidejim:
It depends on how you read it. You could read no as, "No I don't mind or care" or "No, I think sex shouldn't happen in a long term relationship," (or, more precisely, that casual sex is the better option) which is a completely different kettle of fish.

You can read anything as anything with enough dyslexia and retarded fonts :P If I ask someone 'Do you prefer McDonalds over BurgerKing?', the answer 'no' cannot be correctly interpreted as "That person thinks BurgerKing is way better than McDonalds".
"Do you prefer black people over white people?" "No?" "You racist! You prefer white people over black people!"

Danyal:

Tipsy Giant:

right but that is what the women have chosen for themselves, you are asking if I would be angry at her for making her own choice, i'm sure if you ask women whether they should be able to choose for themselves, they'd all vote yes

Heh? I asked you...
'So you don't care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? You really don't prefer one thing over the other?'

I'm not asking if you would be angry, I am asking you if you prefer one above the other.

and i'm saying I don't care either way, as I am sure I have raised a child able to make these decisions, if I haven't i'm a terrible parent and don't deserve to judge her decisions, either way it's none of my business and i'm not bothered.

You said the poll proved women wanted sex inside of relationships and that women should be judged differently from men. I merely stated that I think women would all disagree with judging them differently and would reserve the right to decide for themselves

Tipsy Giant:
and i'm saying I don't care either way, as I am sure I have raised a child able to make these decisions, if I haven't i'm a terrible parent and don't deserve to judge her decisions, either way it's none of my business and i'm not bothered.

I'm asking you a simple yes or no question. Do you prefer (your daughter's) long term relationship above casual sex? That's YES, I do prefer it, or NO, I don't care. "I don't care" means "No, I don't prefer the one above the other".

Tipsy Giant:
You said the poll proved women wanted sex inside of relationships and that women should be judged differently from men.

Wait what how where? Quote the part where I said that.

Tipsy Giant:
I merely stated that I think women would all disagree with judging them differently and would reserve the right to decide for themselves

I didn't say they should be judged differently! I don't want to take their right to decide for themselves! I said...

Danyal:
While I don't think my son and daughter should be treated different regarding sex

Danyal:
While I don't think my son and daughter should be treated different regarding sex, a lot of people do see differences between the genders regarding sexuality, and probably everyone sees those differences subconsciously.

You state (I apologise for quoting you incorrectly earlier) that "probably everyone sees those differences subconsciously" I don't and I know a ton of women who resent the idea of stating any difference when it comes to treating genders sexual exploits.

Plus if women didn't sleep around as much as men, who are all these men sleeping with?

Information;
-Gender
Male
-Specific religion you adhere
None, atheist.

Questions you could (generally) answer;
-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
Not really, no. That implies sex in this day and age is something special and sacred, it's not. It's the most everyday thing in the world.
-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
I have no problem with them. To judge them negatively would make me a hypocrite.
-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
I admit I'd feel a little bit weirded out by it, but again I'm no patron saint of monogamy.
-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
I think whatever people want to call their relationship is fine. If they just want to be together without the bells and whistles of marriage, good for them. Same for if they want to 'tie the knot' and get married. I don't care how they label their commitment to one another. They could call it "Our Super-Awesome-Mega Fun Time Marathon" and I wouldn't care. I'd think they were kinda nuts for somehow deciding on that title for it, but that's their deal.
-Do you care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? Do you prefer one thing over the other?
I imagine the natural father instinct would kick in on that issue, so since I'm not a father to a teenage girl and won't be any time soon I couldn't faithfully answer that. Right now I say it wouldn't bother me, but parenthood tends to reshuffle your priorities a little.

Damn, Danyal, you phrased the question in possibly the most awkward set of double-negatives ever. "Do you or do you not disagree with the statement that sex shouldn't necessarily not fail to occur in a stable relationship?" "Err, wait, what?"

I'm atheist and I think it's natural that sex will be part of a relationship, married or not (in fact I think waiting until marriage is potentially very foolish). I was never one to really have one-night stands, but I don't look down on people who do.

Does that more or less answer the OP question?

Yes, it's quite fun.

Batou667:
Damn, Danyal, you phrased the question in possibly the most awkward set of double-negatives ever. "Do you or do you not disagree with the statement that sex shouldn't necessarily not fail to occur in a stable relationship?" "Err, wait, what?"

'Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? - Yes/No'
That isn't so hard, is it?

Batou667:
I'm atheist and I think it's natural that sex will be part of a relationship, married or not (in fact I think waiting until marriage is potentially very foolish). I was never one to really have one-night stands, but I don't look down on people who do.

Does that more or less answer the OP question?

Yeah, more or less.

Gender - Female
Specific religion you adhere - None/Agnostic

Questions you could (generally) answer;
-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? - Everyone thinks differently, personally, I don't think that sex should be confined to relationships.

-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships? - That they've had a lot of sex and probably had fun doing it.

-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you? - No, provided the sex was safe.

-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you? - I don't have any strong views on marriage. I think that saving sex until marriage is a naive ideal but, as I said earlier, everyone sees sex differently.

-Do you care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? Do you prefer one thing over the other?
Why did you say daughter specifically?
I enjoy both, of course, emotional intimacy is always nice.

EDIT: I totally fucked up the first question (not the gender one). I thought it meant 'should people in long term relationships have sex'. Changed my answer. I also messed up on the marriage one, I don't know if that's bad phrasing or totally my own misreading. I feel silly now.

Female
Non-religious (Holy Church of Stop Insisting I Adhere To The Rules of Your Religion)

-Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship?
Preferably? No. Should it generally happen ONLY in a long term relationship? Also no. Should it happen at all in a long term relationship? Yeah, it probably should. I used to think it should be exclusive, but I honestly don't care anymore. As long as everyone goes into it knowing exactly where it is going, who does it hurt?

-What do you think of people who have sex with a lot of different partners without long term relationships?
That they really like sex?

-Would it be a problem if your partner had sex with a lot of different partners before you?
My girlfriend used to be a Dominatrix before she met me. What do you think?

-Do you think 'a long term relationship' is good enough, or is marriage very important to you?
Good enough for what? Sex? Past good enough, really. If the chemistry is there, go for it.

-Do you care whether your daughter has a long term relationship or just a lot of casual sex? Do you prefer one thing over the other?
I'm not really the "mother" type, so I doubt we'll ever have kids. If I did, though, I wouldn't mind if she had casual sex. I'm sure we'd teach her to be careful, as neither of us are particularly hung up on the subject. It wouldn't be taboo. As long as she's safe, there are a lot worse things she could be doing.

Danyal:
'Should sex preferably/generally happen in a long term relationship? - Yes/No'
That isn't so hard, is it?

It's a bit ambiguous. It could be read to mean "Should people in a long-term relationship be compelled to have sex" or equally "Should sex only happen between two people who are in a long-term relationship".

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