Should public schools officially recognize a student's gender identity?

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So I found a news story today that I think brings up a very interesting debate that's a little more divisive than plain old gay marriage--gender identity and children. The article is here on CNN, and tells the story Coy Mathis who is a first-grader who was born with male genitals but self-identifies as a girl. Up until this point, Coy has been allowed to use the girl's restroom, but her elementary school told her parents in December that she would have to start using the boy's restroom after their winter break concluded. They said it was because they were concerned for the future impact a boy with male genitals might have on using a girl's bathroom as Coy grew older. As this quote specifies, it was not the impact on Coy they were worried about, it was the potential awkwardness for the girls:

"However, I'm certain you can appreciate that as Coy grows older and his male genitals develop along with the rest of his body, at least some parents and students are likely to become uncomfortable with his continued use of the girls' restroom."

Apart from not letting her use the girl's restroom and not addressing her by her preferred gender, the school appears to show no objection to Coy's identifying as a girl. They aren't telling her to dress like a boy at this point, and apparently she's even allowed to have long purple hair in school. So by no means is this a very strictly conservative school we're talking about, here.

So my question is, is this a valid concern and how do you think gender-identity should be handled by schools, if at all? Should students be allowed to use the opposite facilities if they identify as a gender that is not the same as their sex? Should schools address them by the gender they identify as rather than their sex?

As far as me, I'm really not sure where I stand on the bathroom thing. It would be very easy to say it could be awkward and have an averse impact on other students, but I really haven't heard many accounts of this or read any literature or studies on how gender identity plays into social interaction and development. I fully understand and accept that children as young as Coy can develop their own gender identities, and no matter how the school handles their bathrooms I don't think they should be outright told they are wrong. But even the article admits children who identify as a gender that's different from their sex is essentially an unstudied group. And then even I'm disgusted that I'm speaking of them as though they're some alien race to be examined and categorized, so I'm going to be flaky and not commit to a single side at this point. So now, your turn. What do?

So to solve the problem of "awkwardness" among the female students, they're going to make thins very awkward when they force a girl (and she identifies as one, so I see no reason to argue with her about it) to use the boy's room.

I don't know what goes down in women's bathrooms, but I've been using boys bathrooms my entire life and I've almost never seen a penis. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't go to the bathroom looking to expand on my portfolio of "cocks I've seen". I go in to relieve myself and GTFO quick as I can because, like almost every other human being on earth, I don't particularly enjoy public restrooms.

The adults in this situation are, I think, projecting. The kids will only think it's weird if the adults think it is. They should lead by example; you'd be surprised how many kids will accept something if you just tell them that's the way the world is sometimes. Yes, she has boy genitals, but he's a girl at heart so she uses the girl's room. Give her the same privacy you give everyone else, including yourself.

It's nice, though, that this is now the dividing line between scandal and not. A grade schooler identifying by another gender? Eh, is it Wednesday already?

The way I understand it, the entrance to X bathroom is dependant on sex, not gender.
If it makes the child uncomfortable to use the male bathroom, I would recommend the disabled bathroom.

I don't really see the problem here, I mean how often do you show off your bits in a public toilet? I really think this is just adults not looking past that she's a girl and not a 'boy', and think she'll be ogling other girls because of that, which is ridiculous considering she's what eight?

Don't female bathrooms just use stalls? Urinals would seem pretty pointless. The only way the girls would see his (or her I guess, I've never been sure whether to identify people like this by their mental or biological gender) dick is if he was just walking around with it out. I don't know about you, but that's something I don't usually do.

As far as whether schools should deal with the issue of gender identity: they absolutely should, and they should treat kids as the gender they identify as. If kids get used to the concept in a controlled environment, they're much less likely to be bigoted about it when they grow up.

itsthesheppy:
I don't know what goes down in women's bathrooms, but I've been using boys bathrooms my entire life and I've almost never seen a penis. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't go to the bathroom looking to expand on my portfolio of "cocks I've seen". I go in to relieve myself and GTFO quick as I can because, like almost every other human being on earth, I don't particularly enjoy public restrooms.

Women's restrooms only have stalls. Unless someone accidentally walks into her stall, nobody should ever see Coy while she's doing her business, and neither should she see them. However, sometimes girls will also find themselves changing in restrooms, and sometimes they are confident enough to do it outside of a stall (or it's just easier to do it outside). Though that usually isn't a common occurrence in school restrooms, that is another thing--what about locker rooms? Should she be allowed to use the girl's locker room during gym and change with the girls? Some girls are confident enough to strip totally naked in the locker room, should she be allowed to do the same if she is allowed in the girl's locker room? Strictly speaking, if she were an 18 years old using the girl's locker room, in any other context a person of the male sex stripping naked in front of women would be considered indecent exposure.

Arakasi:
The way I understand it, the entrance to X bathroom is dependant on sex, not gender.
If it makes the child uncomfortable to use the male bathroom, I would recommend the disabled bathroom.

Ah, but are bathrooms made for sex or gender? I don't feel like society has ever made this clear one way or the other. Up until this point everybody has just gone with the assumption that you match your genitals. But now the dichotomy has changed and we actually have to think about and decide this. Also, the problem I see with the disabled restroom thing is in most US schools do have to provide facilities for the disabled, but the VAST majority of the time that takes the form of one or two extra large stalls in each of the restrooms. They aren't totally separate facilities like family restrooms. A lot of schools do have a gender-neutral bathroom in the nurse's office, and the article says Coy's elementary school is like that, but not all schools have that and even so going down there very time would be a hassle.

They should simply treat the child as a female even though it has male genitalia. A school shouldn't consider a child's gender identity.

I put the other girls rights above Coy, I'm sure there are more than a few that will become uncomfortable as time goes on. It may not be an issue in 1st grade but by middle school it's going to become more than just awkward so understand why they would want to nip this in the bud before it becomes traumatic for anyone involved.

There are stalls for privacy in boys bathrooms if Coy chooses to not use a urinal and if it is downright weird for him the disabled bathroom might be the best answer as someone else suggested. That obviously doesn't send a great message but conflict resolution doesn't often end with the preferred solution.

Lilani:
sidered indecent exposure.

Arakasi:
The way I understand it, the entrance to X bathroom is dependant on sex, not gender.
If it makes the child uncomfortable to use the male bathroom, I would recommend the disabled bathroom.

Ah, but are bathrooms made for sex or gender? I don't feel like society has ever made this clear one way or the other. Up until this point everybody has just gone with the assumption that you match your genitals. But now the dichotomy has changed and we actually have to think about and decide this. Also, the problem I see with the disabled restroom thing is in most US schools do have to provide facilities for the disabled, but the VAST majority of the time that takes the form of one or two extra large stalls in each of the restrooms. They aren't totally separate facilities like family restrooms. A lot of schools do have a gender-neutral bathroom in the nurse's office, and the article says Coy's elementary school is like that, but not all schools have that and even so going down there very time would be a hassle.

Most male bathrooms I've seen contain urinals, urinals were designed for use with a penis, therefore I assume that bathrooms are constructed based upon sex. Shame about US bathrooms though, that would have provided an easy alternative.

I personally don't think that it would matter if there were unisex (note the term sex) bathrooms everywhere instead of sex segregated ones but as long as there is, I do think it is generally done, and probably better to be done, on a basis of sex as opposed to gender.

Arakasi:
The way I understand it, the entrance to X bathroom is dependant on sex, not gender.

Most people never actually make a distinction between the two though, and I would argue that gender is the more important criteria for entrance.

Besides, who the hell has ever seen another persons genitals in a school bathroom? It's not something that happens with any frequency.

Lilani:

itsthesheppy:
I don't know what goes down in women's bathrooms, but I've been using boys bathrooms my entire life and I've almost never seen a penis. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't go to the bathroom looking to expand on my portfolio of "cocks I've seen". I go in to relieve myself and GTFO quick as I can because, like almost every other human being on earth, I don't particularly enjoy public restrooms.

Women's restrooms only have stalls. Unless someone accidentally walks into her stall, nobody should ever see Coy while she's doing her business, and neither should she see them. However, sometimes girls will also find themselves changing in restrooms, and sometimes they are confident enough to do it outside of a stall (or it's just easier to do it outside). Though that usually isn't a common occurrence in school restrooms, that is another thing--what about locker rooms? Should she be allowed to use the girl's locker room during gym and change with the girls? Some girls are confident enough to strip totally naked in the locker room, should she be allowed to do the same if she is allowed in the girl's locker room? Strictly speaking, if she were an 18 years old using the girl's locker room, in any other context a person of the male sex stripping naked in front of women would be considered indecent exposure.

Arakasi:
The way I understand it, the entrance to X bathroom is dependant on sex, not gender.
If it makes the child uncomfortable to use the male bathroom, I would recommend the disabled bathroom.

Ah, but are bathrooms made for sex or gender? I don't feel like society has ever made this clear one way or the other. Up until this point everybody has just gone with the assumption that you match your genitals. But now the dichotomy has changed and we actually have to think about and decide this. Also, the problem I see with the disabled restroom thing is in most US schools do have to provide facilities for the disabled, but the VAST majority of the time that takes the form of one or two extra large stalls in each of the restrooms. They aren't totally separate facilities like family restrooms. A lot of schools do have a gender-neutral bathroom in the nurse's office, and the article says Coy's elementary school is like that, but not all schools have that and even so going down there very time would be a hassle.

Simple question: what is uncomfortable about stripping naked in front of someone from the opposite sex? Well, there's the sensation of being scrutinized. If I'm in a men's locker room changing, I'm comfortable getting nude because I am at least reasonably certain that I'm not being ogled by the people in there with me... unless they're homosexual, and that's not something that gets screened.

I mean we're talking about someone who for everything excluding genitals is a girl. This person is not going to be trying to sneak a peak any more than any other girl would. If I'm sharing a locker room with a transgendered female who identifies as a man, is attracted to women and so forth, I really don't know why I'd be uncomfortable around them. It's far more likely they would be uncomfortable around me. But being selfish cisgendered "normies" we have a tendency to internalize this stuff and think primarily about our feelings; after all, they're different, they're not part of our tribe, who cares what they think?

Not saying you're saying that. I'm exploring that line of reasoning.

Jamieson 90:
I don't really see the problem here, I mean how often do you show off your bits in a public toilet? I really think this is just adults not looking past that she's a girl and not a 'boy', and think she'll be ogling other girls because of that, which is ridiculous considering she's what eight?

It's the genitalia problem, if it was really about ogling a girl or boy then there would be a gay bathroom at this point. Now while it's highly unlikely that exposure of a penis would happen it could happen and while it's not the end of the world it's not something adults want to have to explain to their kids that early in life. You can say what you want about it not being a big deal but it is the parents decision when their kids should be exposed to that knowledge and no one else's really.

dmase:

Jamieson 90:
I don't really see the problem here, I mean how often do you show off your bits in a public toilet? I really think this is just adults not looking past that she's a girl and not a 'boy', and think she'll be ogling other girls because of that, which is ridiculous considering she's what eight?

It's the genitalia problem, if it was really about ogling a girl or boy then there would be a gay bathroom at this point. Now while it's highly unlikely that exposure of a penis would happen it could happen and while it's not the end of the world it's not something adults want to have to explain to their kids that early in life. You can say what you want about it not being a big deal but it is the parents decision when their kids should be exposed to that knowledge and no one else's really.

Really? How hard is it to say to little Lucy that Timmy was born a boy but thinks of himself as a girl hence he uses the girl's bathroom? It's like itsthehappy said, the adults are just making a big deal out of this when kids for the most part are very accepting, adaptable, and just go with the flow, they only get concerned when adults start making a big deal out of it, but if the adults didn't even bat an eye lid the same would occur for the kids. As for it might happen in regards to seeing his genitals, as far as I'm aware girls toilets only have cubicles, so how in the hell would that happen? Unless he just randomly whipped it out?

itsthesheppy:
Simple question: what is uncomfortable about stripping naked in front of someone from the opposite sex? Well, there's the sensation of being scrutinized. If I'm in a men's locker room changing, I'm comfortable getting nude because I am at least reasonably certain that I'm not being ogled by the people in there with me... unless they're homosexual, and that's not something that gets screened.

Personally for me, the discomfort would come from the fear of gaining sexual attention. I do think that women should be able to go around shirtless just like men, I personally would not partake in it because I have been oogled by guys before and it is definitely near the very top of my list of awkward situations I hope to never ever be in again, ever. Plus I'm pretty insecure about my body so I wouldn't even be stripping naked in front of girls. I suppose if I really had to I could change around guys, but I wouldn't be afraid to ask them to not look. Around girls I wouldn't ask them to not look, but I would place myself in the most inconspicuous corner of the room and get it overwith as quickly as possible.

But as you said, gay people are allowed to strip in front of straight people, so the system is already flawed in that respect. And if you get someone who identifies as a different gender from their sex and prefers members of that same gender...well the world might explode or something.

But really, I'll freely admit there are a lot of holes in my logic, here. I think I'm still just getting my head around it at this point. And also I feel like it's a discussion we shouldn't disclude the transgender community from. If anything, we should be going to them to figure out what would be the most amicable solution.

I mean we're talking about someone who for everything excluding genitals is a girl. This person is not going to be trying to sneak a peak any more than any other girl would. If I'm sharing a locker room with a transgendered female who identifies as a man, is attracted to women and so forth, I really don't know why I'd be uncomfortable around them. It's far more likely they would be uncomfortable around me. But being selfish cisgendered "normies" we have a tendency to internalize this stuff and think primarily about our feelings; after all, they're different, they're not part of our tribe, who cares what they think?

Not saying you're saying that. I'm exploring that line of reasoning.

I agree that the comfort of the transgendered person themself should also be taken into account just as equally, but since it possible that someone could identify as a woman and be sexually attracted to women it isn't always just a matter of matching sexual preference A with locker room B. I really wish I knew more transgendered people because I really don't know much about any of this, apart from what I assume from my end of the situation.

I've used girl's toilets for all my life and, thinking about it now, I don't think I've ever seen another woman's vagina in real life. It's not really an issue since - as others have said - female bathrooms have stalls. So the "other students might see her penis" argument doesn't hold much weight.

I think schools should recognise a child's gender identity and treat them accordingly. It's not like we bar lesbians or bisexuals from using women's changing rooms, so the sexual attraction issue doesn't count for much either. I don't think this attitude is going to be widespread for a while yet, though, considering the amount of transphobia in society.

Glasgow:
They should simply treat the child as a female even though it has male genitalia. A school shouldn't consider a child's gender identity.

Unless I'm reading this wrong, I think you might be confused as to what gender identity is. Sex is what your genitals indicate you are, where gender identity is what gender you consider yourself to be. Coy's sex is male, however if we go by her gender identity she's a girl. So by treating her as a female even though her sex is male, the school is considering their gender identity, or rather they are addressing it and taking it into account.

Coy... what a stupid name for either gender.

Also, can a six year old even really be considered transgender? I mean that's only half-way to puberty, not like there can't be major changes in the kid's identification to come.
When I was six I identified as a motorcycle riding dinosaur. But then I realised motorcycles were dangerous and dinosaurs extinct, so I became a regular, car-driving humanoid reptile.

I mean, eventually the school has to consider the "can the two minors get pregnant if we stick them in a bathroom together" question.

tstorm823:
I mean, eventually the school has to consider the "can the two minors get pregnant if we stick them in a bathroom together" question.

Why would that happen? Coy identifies as a girl. And as you pointed out, a minor.

itsthesheppy:

Why would that happen? Coy identifies as a girl. And as you pointed out, a minor.

I said eventually, because at some point Coy will hit puberty and go through significant sexual and emotional changes. And also, tons of people who identify as girls want to sleep with girls.

tstorm823:

itsthesheppy:

Why would that happen? Coy identifies as a girl. And as you pointed out, a minor.

I said eventually, because at some point Coy will hit puberty and go through significant sexual and emotional changes. And also, tons of people who identify as girls want to sleep with girls.

Why do you assume it would happen in the bathroom? If kids at a school wanted to hook up in a bathroom, I don't think it'll be sue to random happenstance. I think it would be something they'd plan. Like, "Hey, let's hook up in the bathroom during lunch." And really any combination of kids could do that; it's not like they're going to be in less trouble being walked in on in the middle of having sex.

I've used co-ed bathrooms before. Lemme tell you, there are few places more deterrent for sexual activity... unless you're into that sort of thing. Not many are.

itsthesheppy:

Why do you assume it would happen in the bathroom? If kids at a school wanted to hook up in a bathroom, I don't think it'll be sue to random happenstance. I think it would be something they'd plan. Like, "Hey, let's hook up in the bathroom during lunch." And really any combination of kids could do that; it's not like they're going to be in less trouble being walked in on in the middle of having sex.

I've used co-ed bathrooms before. Lemme tell you, there are few places more deterrent for sexual activity... unless you're into that sort of thing. Not many are.

I think you either underestimate the amount of trouble kids get into from total thoughtless spontoneity, or overestimate the amount of teen sex that is planned ahead of time. With my personal experience in a town with enough pregnant 8th graders to make me feel I'm knowledgeable, the story isn't usually "we we're dating for a while and then we planned to meet somewhere private and did it," it's usually things like, "we we're just sort of walking alone after the football game and it happened."

tstorm823:

itsthesheppy:

Why do you assume it would happen in the bathroom? If kids at a school wanted to hook up in a bathroom, I don't think it'll be sue to random happenstance. I think it would be something they'd plan. Like, "Hey, let's hook up in the bathroom during lunch." And really any combination of kids could do that; it's not like they're going to be in less trouble being walked in on in the middle of having sex.

I've used co-ed bathrooms before. Lemme tell you, there are few places more deterrent for sexual activity... unless you're into that sort of thing. Not many are.

I think you either underestimate the amount of trouble kids get into from total thoughtless spontoneity, or overestimate the amount of teen sex that is planned ahead of time. With my personal experience in a town with enough pregnant 8th graders to make me feel I'm knowledgeable, the story isn't usually "we we're dating for a while and then we planned to meet somewhere private and did it," it's usually things like, "we we're just sort of walking alone after the football game and it happened."

I worked for the YMCA overnight summer camp program for over fifteen years, with kids ages 6-16. I might know a thing or two about a thing or two if we're talking about the behavior of children outside of their parental supervision.

It's almost never "we bumped into each other, sight unseen, and started having sex". This sort of thing doesn't just happen suddenly, at random, as if from a lightning strike. If Coy or other kids like her grow up and end up having sex in bathrooms, it won't be because she gets to use that bathroom. It'll be because she wanted to have sex with the person, and the bathroom happened to be a secluded place. In a pinch, the woods, a closet, an empty classroom, and innumerable other venues will suffice.

The bathroom usage won't be causal.

itsthesheppy:

I worked for the YMCA overnight summer camp program for over fifteen years, with kids ages 6-16. I might know a thing or two about a thing or two if we're talking about the behavior of children outside of their parental supervision.

It's almost never "we bumped into each other, sight unseen, and started having sex". This sort of thing doesn't just happen suddenly, at random, as if from a lightning strike. If Coy or other kids like her grow up and end up having sex in bathrooms, it won't be because she gets to use that bathroom. It'll be because she wanted to have sex with the person, and the bathroom happened to be a secluded place. In a pinch, the woods, a closet, an empty classroom, and innumerable other venues will suffice.

The bathroom usage won't be causal.

Well if you really worked with kids for fifteen years, I'm sure you understand the need to cover one's own butt. If Coy were to impregnate a girl at that school, I'm sure the torrent of people attacking that school will not find your arguement any more compelling than I do.

I don't pretend to be an expert, but I don't believe a child as young as six can be sure of himself enough to be transgendered. Perhaps he just likes the idea of being one in the same way I, when I was six, preferred myself as a train...

But that aside, I believe bathrooms should be based off of what's between your legs, not what you feel you are or aspire to be. When public washrooms are concerned outside of his school and outside of people who are educated on the subject, such as for example at the gym when he grows up, or at the supermarket or at a restaurant, the girls and women in that bathroom may not be quite so understanding and would likely protest aggressively to someone with a penis invading their safe zone.

If he believes the same thing of himself when he's older and decides to get a sex change, then it's a different story.

(Note: I am not saying a gender identity crisis is a phase. Merely that I don't trust a 6 year olds judgement on something as complex as this. Perhaps when he's older)

tstorm823:

itsthesheppy:

I worked for the YMCA overnight summer camp program for over fifteen years, with kids ages 6-16. I might know a thing or two about a thing or two if we're talking about the behavior of children outside of their parental supervision.

It's almost never "we bumped into each other, sight unseen, and started having sex". This sort of thing doesn't just happen suddenly, at random, as if from a lightning strike. If Coy or other kids like her grow up and end up having sex in bathrooms, it won't be because she gets to use that bathroom. It'll be because she wanted to have sex with the person, and the bathroom happened to be a secluded place. In a pinch, the woods, a closet, an empty classroom, and innumerable other venues will suffice.

The bathroom usage won't be causal.

Well if you really worked with kids for fifteen years, I'm sure you understand the need to cover one's own butt. If Coy were to impregnate a girl at that school, I'm sure the torrent of people attacking that school will not find your arguement any more compelling than I do.

The world's full of ignorant people who don't know what they're talking about, quick to blame scapegoats rather than addressing the actual causes to the problems we face? You don't say? You're blowing my mind, tstorm823.

Granting Coy or other transgendered children bathroom privileges to the bathrooms' gender designation they share will not be causal to an increase in risk of underage pregnancy. If a child wishes to have sex with a peer, they'll do it bathroom privileges or no. After all, what's stopping any heterosexual, cisgendered couple from just picking any random bathroom? It's not like they're in any less of a risk of being walked in on, mid-act.

Right about now might be a good time to backpeddle a little and admit that maybe, just maybe, bathroom usage won't be a causal agent in the pregnancy worries you were referring to.

itsthesheppy:

The world's full of ignorant people who don't know what they're talking about, quick to blame scapegoats rather than addressing the actual causes to the problems we face? You don't say? You're blowing my mind, tstorm823.

Granting Coy or other transgendered children bathroom privileges to the bathrooms' gender designation they share will not be causal to an increase in risk of underage pregnancy. If a child wishes to have sex with a peer, they'll do it bathroom privileges or no. After all, what's stopping any heterosexual, cisgendered couple from just picking any random bathroom? It's not like they're in any less of a risk of being walked in on, mid-act.

Right about now might be a good time to backpeddle a little and admit that maybe, just maybe, bathroom usage won't be a causal agent in the pregnancy worries you were referring to.

You've met me, right? I never backpeddle.

If two heterosexual students sneak into the same bathroom to have sex, the school won't get sued. If two opposite sex students are allowed to share a bathroom and have sex, the school will get sued. Do you dispute this? Even if you think it's silly to imagine that causing problems, you should know this is reason enough.

tstorm823:

itsthesheppy:

The world's full of ignorant people who don't know what they're talking about, quick to blame scapegoats rather than addressing the actual causes to the problems we face? You don't say? You're blowing my mind, tstorm823.

Granting Coy or other transgendered children bathroom privileges to the bathrooms' gender designation they share will not be causal to an increase in risk of underage pregnancy. If a child wishes to have sex with a peer, they'll do it bathroom privileges or no. After all, what's stopping any heterosexual, cisgendered couple from just picking any random bathroom? It's not like they're in any less of a risk of being walked in on, mid-act.

Right about now might be a good time to backpeddle a little and admit that maybe, just maybe, bathroom usage won't be a causal agent in the pregnancy worries you were referring to.

You've met me, right? I never backpeddle.

If two heterosexual students sneak into the same bathroom to have sex, the school won't get sued. If two opposite sex students are allowed to share a bathroom and have sex, the school will get sued. Do you dispute this? Even if you think it's silly to imagine that causing problems, you should know this is reason enough.

At this point I think you're just spouting off babble to keep the argument going. Nothing about what you said leads me to believe you know anything about law or the behavior of children or what transgendered people are like. I feel like I've made my point, but if you feel your ditch is not yet deep enough, you're welcome to continue digging.

I'm on Coy's side with this issue, being transgendered myself. Male bathrooms and locker rooms actually made me uncomfortable to the point of me actually wholly circumventing the school's physical education program throughout my High School years(though not without heavy costs). The truth is, in female restrooms, there's stalls and only stalls, and it would only take a single, short meeting with her to let her know that it's a terrible idea to change without the privacy of a stall. These idiots are only causing more problems, not solving them. In short, yeah, please respect the kid's identity. By not doing so you're only impeding the social progress necessary for making this not be such a big fucking deal anymore.

Quaxar:
Coy... what a stupid name for either gender.

Also, can a six year old even really be considered transgender? I mean that's only half-way to puberty, not like there can't be major changes in the kid's identification to come.
When I was six I identified as a motorcycle riding dinosaur. But then I realised motorcycles were dangerous and dinosaurs extinct, so I became a regular, car-driving humanoid reptile.

Yeah, it's actually not uncommon for us to identify as the other gender at such a young age. I'd already pieced it together by age four, but the world was not so kind to me. The way things were when I was growing up were harsh, to say the least. The least our world could do is accept the kid as who they are, so perhaps they won't wind up as screwed up as myself. To be pushed to the point where you're considering suicide at the age of 9 is a terrible fate, to say the least.

How does the kid know he/she is actually transgendered?

Coy is SIX YEARS OLD.

Maybe Coy said he liked wearing a dress and they ran with it and said "oh you must be transgender", and the kid isn't quite sure what they mean so he said "Sure, I like doing this, so I must be this".

I had a friend in high school who was very effeminate. Very soft spoken, very 'girly'. He thought he was gay because of these things, but he confessed to me that he actually preferred women company. I told him 'You're not gay then' 'But I like all these things' 'That's not what makes you gay' "But everyone thinks I'm gay and encourages me" "Doesn't matter".

Again, this kid is six. It's not that he's stupid, I very much doubt it, but if both your parents are telling you that 'If you feel X then it MUST be X", then of course the kid is going to run with it. It's not a matter of stupidity at all, but his parents, for all their love and understanding, may end up pushing him into a situation he will alter go 'Oh, now that I understand more whats going on, maybe not'.

There's nothing wrong with being transgender, I'm just worried with the media storm around this kid Coy, their going to end up being pushed one way or another.

As for the actual bathroom issue itself, I'm just not sure. Being of the male sex, Coy should probably use the facilities meant most accurately for that plumbing set up. Being of female gender (again if coy is or not I'm still kinda like ehhh?) they might be more comfortable in the girls restroom.

Bentusi16:
How does the kid know he/she is actually transgendered?

Coy is SIX YEARS OLD.

Maybe Coy said he liked wearing a dress and they ran with it and said "oh you must be transgender", and the kid isn't quite sure what they mean so he said "Sure, I like doing this, so I must be this".

I had a friend in high school who was very effeminate. Very soft spoken, very 'girly'. He thought he was gay because of these things, but he confessed to me that he actually preferred women company. I told him 'You're not gay then' 'But I like all these things' 'That's not what makes you gay' "But everyone thinks I'm gay and encourages me" "Doesn't matter".

Again, this kid is six. It's not that he's stupid, I very much doubt it, but if both your parents are telling you that 'If you feel X then it MUST be X", then of course the kid is going to run with it. It's not a matter of stupidity at all, but his parents, for all their love and understanding, may end up pushing him into a situation he will alter go 'Oh, now that I understand more whats going on, maybe not'.

There's nothing wrong with being transgender, I'm just worried with the media storm around this kid Coy, their going to end up being pushed one way or another.

As for the actual bathroom issue itself, I'm just not sure. Being of the male sex, Coy should probably use the facilities meant most accurately for that plumbing set up. Being of female gender (again if coy is or not I'm still kinda like ehhh?) they might be more comfortable in the girls restroom.

My limited experience with transgendered people has been almost universal in that they are aware of it long before puberty. Most only "come out" or start expressing it in later years, I've found, because most of us are not confident enough in ourselves to start pushing back against the prevailing culture until that point. The pressure to conform, both from peers and parents and adults alike, is crushing when you're a child.

It's not really a sexual thing and more of a self-identity thing. Most of us know really strongly whether we are a boy or a girl at a very young age, before we have any understanding of what that means, sexually. I can still remember the epiphany I had when I was seven or eight about what role my gender played in reproduction; before that point, I still knew and understood the differences of identifying as one gender or the other. I don't imagine it waits for the transgendered. I can't imagine the discomfort of walking around with everyone treating me like someone from a different gender. I guess I don't have to; there's been cases of it happening and it rarely has a happy ending.

Perhaps changing for P.E (Gym for any Americans) Coy should be taken aside into another room but for answering a call of nature then yeah let her use the women's bathroom if that's how she identifies.
Bentusi seems to think that this will push him down a transgendered path but I don't think that's really possible as in that case one day surely he will just turn round and say, "I want to go to the toilet with the other boys!" ok that sounds wrong but you get the idea.
If Coy will grow up to become a woman however then don't give her a hard start cowering in fear from the poo slinging rude crass boys.
This coming from a poo slinging crass boy btw

itsthesheppy:

My limited experience with transgendered people has been almost universal in that they are aware of it long before puberty. Most only "come out" or start expressing it in later years, I've found, because most of us are not confident enough in ourselves to start pushing back against the prevailing culture until that point. The pressure to conform, both from peers and parents and adults alike, is crushing when you're a child.

It's not really a sexual thing and more of a self-identity thing. Most of us know really strongly whether we are a boy or a girl at a very young age, before we have any understanding of what that means, sexually. I can still remember the epiphany I had when I was seven or eight about what role my gender played in reproduction; before that point, I still knew and understood the differences of identifying as one gender or the other. I don't imagine it waits for the transgendered. I can't imagine the discomfort of walking around with everyone treating me like someone from a different gender. I guess I don't have to; there's been cases of it happening and it rarely has a happy ending.

For someone who clams to have limited experience with transgendered people, you got it right on the money. Kudos, good sir.

I guess it's time to specify the rules for bathrooms: "For Male sex only" and "for Female sex only". There no more "gender" issues consider your sex is purely physical.

I mean, the bathrooms are obviously adapted to the physical aspects of people's sex and not the gender. Otherwise we should have urinals in both kind of bathrooms. So really, the school is right. He has a penis so he goes to the bathroom were penises belong.

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