Election day, Manchester

Well today is election day here in Manchester and as you would probably expect for Manchester's first mayor, it is headline news everywhere.[/sarcasm].

I have seen so little about this vote that at one point was being billed as finally giving control of the north back to the people of the north. I get some of the local papers given to me by a guy here at the market and I didn't see anything about the election being today, I expect it to be an incredibly low turn out.

The candidates are just as bad, the favorite seems to be a guy from Liverpool who decided not to run for Liverpool's mayor. I don't like much of any of their polices and most of them have something in their agenda that to me are things I would actively vote against.

I was tempted to not even bother voting today, but instead I think I'll just cast a spoiled vote.

Anyone else voting today and anyone actually going to vote for a candidate?

I know if I were in the UK I would vote for Manchester City, but only to spite my friend who loves Man U.

...Wait, is that not what's getting voted on? Never mind.

Electing a West Midlands mayor as well.

It is still not entirely clear to me what the mayor will do beyond a few pennies to rub together in regional development money (not much, although with the possibility of greater powers added later). Nor what substantial differences there are between the candidates as they just seem to restate the mayoral mandate as policy on key issues. Or even why the West Midlands is getting a mayor, considering by local referendum Birmingham and Coventry rejected city mayors by 65-35 and 70-30 respectively. So they made a West Midlands mayor and gave us no choice at all.

Democracy, they call it.

Frankly, I think the main role of the mayors is to provide a layer of political insulation between the government and the populace as local council funding cuts increasingly bite.

I live in Manchester, as it turns out.

Yeah, the candidates are uninteresting, and uninspiring.

Andy Burnham will most likely win. And, I suppose he's the most competent of the lot. Whilst I don't agree with him, it's better than an empty seat, I suppose.

For those who don't know the candidates are as followed.

Andy Burnham, Communist Labour: Too middle class for Liverpool, and so was chased out by local chavs. Now seeking refuge in Manchester.

Mohammed Aslam, Independent: Gave his manifesto entirely in Urdu and refuses to speak English. (This one actually isn't a joke.)

Stephen Morris, English Democrats: Wants Manchester to declare independence and invade Wales.

Shneur Odze, UKIP: An orthodox Jew who burns bibles in his spare time. Thought the I in UKIP stood for Isreal, nobody has the heart to tell him.

Will Patterson, Green Party: Rumour is, whenever he sees a slab of concrete, he weeps. Going forwards, he aims replace 99% of Manchester's buildings with trees.

Jane Brophy, Liberal Democrats: Aims to hold a referendum in Manchester on leaving the EU, will continue to do so until people say they don't want to leave and then use to say the entire UK doesn't want to leave either.

Sean Anstee, Conservative: Lives in a council estate, and yet is part of the Tory party. Nobody is able to understand how this has happened.

Marcus Farmer, Independent: Probably the only one on the list who will actually give people in Manchester what they want. Definitely won't win.

The Lunatic:
I live in Manchester, as it turns out.

Yeah, the candidates are uninteresting, and uninspiring.

Andy Burnham will most likely win. And, I suppose he's the most competent of the lot. Whilst I don't agree with him, it's better than an empty seat, I suppose.

For those who don't know the candidates are as followed.

Andy Burnham, Communist Labour: Too middle class for Liverpool, and so was chased out by local chavs. Now seeking refuge in Manchester.

Mohammed Aslam, Independent: Gave his manifesto entirely in Urdu and refuses to speak English. (This one actually isn't a joke.)

Stephen Morris, English Democrats: Wants Manchester to declare independence and invade Wales.

Shneur Odze, UKIP: An orthodox Jew who burns bibles in his spare time. Thought the I in UKIP stood for Isreal, nobody has the heart to tell him.

Will Patterson, Green Party: Rumour is, whenever he sees a slab of concrete, he weeps. Going forwards, he aims replace 99% of Manchester's buildings with trees.

Jane Brophy, Liberal Democrats: Aims to hold a referendum in Manchester on leaving the EU, will continue to do so until people say they don't want to leave and then use to say the entire UK doesn't want to leave either.

Sean Anstee, Conservative: Lives in a council estate, and yet is part of the Tory party. Nobody is able to understand how this has happened.

Marcus Farmer, Independent: Probably the only one on the list who will actually give people in Manchester what they want. Definitely won't win.

Why do you people have so many invasion parties? wasn't there one that wanted to conquer france. I believe i speak for the entire world when i tell you englishmen: You may want our territory, but we will fight to the death to avoid your food

The Lunatic:

Will Patterson, Green Party: Rumour is, whenever he sees a slab of concrete, he weeps. Going forwards, he aims replace 99% of Manchester's buildings with trees.

He's going to get dehydrated living in Manchester then, it's like a sea of grey.

Agema:
Electing a West Midlands mayor as well.

It is still not entirely clear to me what the mayor will do beyond a few pennies to rub together in regional development money (not much, although with the possibility of greater powers added later). Nor what substantial differences there are between the candidates as they just seem to restate the mayoral mandate as policy on key issues. Or even why the West Midlands is getting a mayor, considering by local referendum Birmingham and Coventry rejected city mayors by 65-35 and 70-30 respectively. So they made a West Midlands mayor and gave us no choice at all.

Democracy, they call it.

Frankly, I think the main role of the mayors is to provide a layer of political insulation between the government and the populace as local council funding cuts increasingly bite.

I'm sure that Manchester also voted against having a mayor, most of the stuff I have seen during this election has been about 'Why do we need a mayor?' and 'Why are we getting a mayor when we voted against one?' to which the response seems to be that they changed what the mayor will do since that vote so it no longer counts. Didn't occur to them to ask the question again with the new job role.

CyanCat47:
Why do you people have so many invasion parties? wasn't there one that wanted to conquer france. I believe i speak for the entire world when i tell you englishmen: You may want our territory, but we will fight to the death to avoid your food

It's in our blood.

Rule, Britannia! And all that

.

Baffle2:
He's going to get dehydrated living in Manchester then, it's like a sea of grey.

There's a couple of red brick buildings. But, Manchester has always been very labour, and labour taking inspiration from the communist, has seemingly caused the city to adopt soviet concrete blocks, instead of actual buildings.

Well, whoever wins, tenner says that some newsreader claims that it represents the populaces view on Brexit within the first hour of the result.

CyanCat47:
wasn't there one that wanted to conquer france

They wouldn't run in Manchester. France is too far away. There are more convenient places to occupy first. Like Blackpool.

The Lunatic:
Will Patterson, Green Party: Rumour is, whenever he sees a slab of concrete, he weeps. Going forwards, he aims replace 99% of Manchester's buildings with trees.

I'd vote for this guy. Its high time someone wiped Manchester off the map, all the better if its replaced with trees.

CyanCat47:

Why do you people have so many invasion parties? wasn't there one that wanted to conquer france. I believe i speak for the entire world when i tell you englishmen: You may want our territory, but we will fight to the death to avoid your food

The good thing about British food is that the quality of the ingredients themselves tends to be quite high. The other good thing about British food is that virtually no-one in Britain eats much British cuisine any more.

So all we'd be doing is inflicting various forms of Italian, continental European, Indian etc. food on you. And British restaurants have come a long, long way since the terrifying dire 1970s - you can eat out in the UK as well as in most Western countries these days.

Despite me writing my own name in and getting at least 2 other people to do the same, looks like I didn't win.

The Lunatic:
I live in Manchester, as it turns out.

Yeah, the candidates are uninteresting, and uninspiring.

Mohammed Aslam, Independent: Gave his manifesto entirely in Urdu and refuses to speak English. (This one actually isn't a joke.)

Shneur Odze, UKIP: An orthodox Jew who burns bibles in his spare time. Thought the I in UKIP stood for Isreal, nobody has the heart to tell him.

Jane Brophy, Liberal Democrats: Aims to hold a referendum in Manchester on leaving the EU, will continue to do so until people say they don't want to leave and then use to say the entire UK doesn't want to leave either.

Sean Anstee, Conservative: Lives in a council estate, and yet is part of the Tory party. Nobody is able to understand how this has happened.

Cut the quote down to the relevant parts.
What's wrong with Manchester? Is there something in the water that turns people mental?

Lee Brocklebank:

The Lunatic:
I live in Manchester, as it turns out.

Yeah, the candidates are uninteresting, and uninspiring.

Mohammed Aslam, Independent: Gave his manifesto entirely in Urdu and refuses to speak English. (This one actually isn't a joke.)

Shneur Odze, UKIP: An orthodox Jew who burns bibles in his spare time. Thought the I in UKIP stood for Isreal, nobody has the heart to tell him.

Jane Brophy, Liberal Democrats: Aims to hold a referendum in Manchester on leaving the EU, will continue to do so until people say they don't want to leave and then use to say the entire UK doesn't want to leave either.

Sean Anstee, Conservative: Lives in a council estate, and yet is part of the Tory party. Nobody is able to understand how this has happened.

Cut the quote down to the relevant parts.
What's wrong with Manchester? Is there something in the water that turns people mental?

Wait... are you trying to imply that if I go outside of Manchester people will be less crazy?
I'm not sure if I could live in that kind of world.

Honestly though, I think that politics attracts all kinds of weirdos who want to change the world to fit their views of how it should be. It wouldn't be a real election unless you had some guy in a stupid costume stood next to a politician in a fancy and expensive suit waiting for the results. The more disturbing thing is that these people actually get votes. At least we don't actually elect the silly candidates like America did (usually).

Lee Brocklebank:

What's wrong with Manchester? Is there something in the water that turns people mental?

No, it's just that it's all very unimportant: because for the greater picture of the UK, electing regional mayors is akin to re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.

The problem is really that the public didn't much want them. Then, after that, few people are very clear what they do, and what they can do is all pretty small. As a result, you may as well have a load of jokers turn up for election because the proceedings are so damn trivial.

And indeed, consqeuently very few people did bother hauling their arses off to a polling station: about 25%.

I suppose it's an improvement on the police commmissioner elections, which are even more stupid and trivial. Last one of those I spoiled my ballot. Four candidates, four boxes, and I put the following words one per box: "Who" "are" "these" "people?"

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here