This is me.

I am uneducated, I am a loser, I am without a job, I am living at my moms, I am single and alone, I am depressed, It is new years, I have no friends, I have no one that loves me, I am alone, I am scared, I am fake, I am phony. I want a life. I am desperate, I am picky.

The closest person I had to talk to tonight is my second cousin`s girlfriend, I want a future, but I cant see a future. I hate me and love me. I see me, and I don`t see me.

If I disappeared right now, they would blame it on the alchohol...not how I really felt. I am sad I am so sad.

I am truly alone, yes I am drunk, does that make this any less true?

On new years eve I kissed someone I didnt love because I was alone. I am alone.

Give me a reason to go on...life sucks and I`ll go on anyway, I just want to know if there is someone out there...someone. A person, not a machine, not a product, a person, that thinks, that feels, that hurts.

hy

Dude 3 words it gets better you will something anything that will make you keep on going

I'd first recommend sobering up.

Then, I'd recommend asking around in the advice forum. There are a lot of really nice people there who would love to help you out.

Keep your chin up. I've been (and perhaps still am) where you are at the moment. It sucks, it really does. But you can't give up. You can't just submit. Fight through it, become a greater person, and kick life's ass.

This never fails to pick me up when I'm down. It's possible to change, until a couple of years ago I had very few friends, then I learned how to socialise properly and now I have many. Make 2012 the year when YOU are reborn.

IrishAdams:
I am uneducated, I am a loser, I am without a job, I am living at my moms, I am single and alone, I am depressed, It is new years, I have no friends, I have no one that loves me, I am alone, I am scared, I am fake, I am phony. I want a life. I am desperate, I am picky.

The closest person I had to talk to tonight is my second cousin`s girlfriend, I want a future, but I cant see a future. I hate me and love me. I see me, and I don`t see me.

If I disappeared right now, they would blame it on the alchohol...not how I really felt. I am sad I am so sad.

I am truly alone, yes I am drunk, does that make this any less true?

On new years eve I kissed someone I didnt love because I was alone. I am alone.

Give me a reason to go on...life sucks and I`ll go on anyway, I just want to know if there is someone out there...someone. A person, not a machine, not a product, a person, that thinks, that feels, that hurts.

Alright, first thing that I would do is get a job, it doesn't matter if its shitty, low paying terrible hours sort of thing, when I was in your position I spent a year working for less than min wage, the important thing is to get a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I understand that the job market in most countries is shit but there are places that are always crying out for workers.

Keep in mind that you're not looking for a career, you are looking for something to do. once there, you have a group of people that you see every day, get to know them, I mean, at the moment all of my freinds are people I work with (well most anyway).

And this might sound like a dickish thing to say, but the sort of prose that you are using, isn't going to help you in feeling better. Trust me on that score.

The main thing to do is to break down the big, fucking terrifying goal of 'a future' break it down into a set of smaller ones.

-Eduacation
-What do I want to learn
-Why do I want to learn it
-How will I use this in my life
-Who provides the skillset that I want
-Job
-What do I want to do
-Where can I do that
-What skills/education do I need (an important one, I am in my dream job, and while it requires a fair amount of skills, a univerity eduation is not needed, you may not need a degree to get what you want)
-Friends
-what do I like
-where can I meet people who like the same thing
-Love
-ummmmmmmmmm, I'm actually not that good at this sort of thing, maybe someone else can field that one.

From there do at least one thing a day towards those goals, when I was in your position, my dad (who told me a lot of what I'm saying now) would ask me every day at dinner what I did towards moving on. So, every day drop in a couple resumes, every day look at a new uni/trade college. It will be hard, it may take a long time, but every day you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'this is what i achieved today' i know its fucking corny but it works.

In the interim, volunteering is a good step, local fire brigades, youth development orgs, these sorts of things are good for your morale and fantastic for your resume. When I was in your position, I volunteered with the army cadets and as a fire fighter, did wonders for my self esteem and I got a job based on the fact that I could fight fires.

Excersise is another big one, go for a run every night as a sedentry lifestyle does lead to depression. It will suck at first, but eventually, when those endorphins hit, you'll get addicted to it and feel a whole mess better about yourself.

Never drink alone. Big one, leads to a fuckton of issues, fairly self explanitory.

Limit your time spent on the computor, say a couple hours a day with a clear cut of point at night. Interaction over the net, in my experiance, is no substitute for the real thing.

Lastly, be realistic, don't expect change overnight, be aware of what you are good at, but just as importantly, be aware of what you are not good at. Go for something that you can succeed at, but aim high within that bracket. WHat I'm getting at is don't try to be george cloony, but don't settle for being a hobo.

Well thats all I've got without knowing specifics, and I hope that I haven't made any unfair assumptions about you or your life. Like I said, I'm basing this off of what I did when I had no job, no friends and I had lost hope.

You'd make the second best Absurdist/Existentialist/Nihilist. I say second because I'm the best.
If you hate living, make the world know why they should hate living too.

Think your life is hard? I can't pass Math 94 (here is high school math at the college, how I graduated high school I will never know) And trust me, I constantly feel the way you've written up there. I'm 24, had to move out with some friends using food stamps as my rent payment to prolong and hope avoid moving to a different state with my parents (I've lived in this state for 10 years, far longer than anywhere else. I literally grew up as a person here. Moving away means starting my life over again at 24 years old) because almost nowhere in town seems to want to hire me. I spent Christmas alone. On the 24th (the same month my family moved out of state, and my first month out on my "own") I thought I was developing the world's worst hemorrhoid. On Christmas it was so bad I couldn't walk, couldn't sit, couldn't lie down. Everything I did was cripplingly painful. When it was only getting worse and it was to the point that all I could do was scream to walk I finally went to the hospital.
It was an abscess, the size of a ping pong ball. I had no insurance, and no job. I was praying to whatever deity hates me that financial assistance would help me, and it did. I had to go into surgery that very day. Friday, December 30th.
Three years ago I broke my leg in three different places and severed a tendon, all at once. The abscess made that look like a holiday. I had to be awake for the surgery. The surgery made having the abscess look like a holiday. It was so painful I couldn't think of swears to yell while they cut a gigantic infection on my ass crack open, stuck a hose in it, and drained it. It hurt so bad I could barely get breathe enough to grunt. At the end of it, I had no money, I had just gone through the most horrific ten minutes I could imagine (I began to think this is where H.P. Lovecraft drew his inspiration), I was mostly alone as my friends were always working. I could barely turn to my family for comfort as they were half way across the country, but there voice was enough. I had to sit in the Hospital waiting room four 5 hours because I had to drive myself home but first had to wait for the anesthetics to wear off.

I walked out of the hospital knowing that for the first time since the day before Christmas I was going to walk upright, I was going to sit, I was going to lay down. I was going to be alone, but you know what, none of that mattered. I got a crazy story to tell, the wackiest week of my life behind me, and I now knew, my day could always be worse.

The previous story, though I have no way to prove it, is 100% true. Just know, my internet acquaintance, no matter how horrible life is, it can ALWAYS be worse. And though they may seem like small comforts at the time, you could always have less. After all, on your holiday, you were able to sit; With comfort and joy.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, had to throw the CSI: Miami reference in there.

Just man the fuck up, I was in a similar state last year (but without the alcohol, swap it for some childhood trauma that I'd rather not mention and there you got), and you know what did I do? I manned the fuck up and stopped feeling sorry about myself, I decided that I was going to get my High School done, and went and started doing the tests I needed, I got a part time job, and so far things are going pretty well, as you can see now I have a computer and Internet, which I didn't last year, and though I haven't finished my High School yet (Darn it why can't I be good at math, I only need to pass the last math test >:l) I feel so much better right now, like for example this year I actually wasn't so ashamed about myself that I didn't visit my family (unlike last year), I though I do not know what awaits for me in the future, I do know that it's going to be better because I am in control of my own life now.

Yeah, I went thought that stage in life, then got hit big a huge ass earthquake in 2011 in Tokyo, and life generally sucks, but you can make it better.

Some of the tips to getting better is are as follows.

Get a job. Jobs give you income, self esteem, human contact. Just those three will help get you out of depression.

It's never too late to study. You may be uneducated in the conventional way ( high school, college etc) but they don't teach you much anyways.
The real world revolves because we have carpenters, plumbers, mechanics and other specialized professions, heck, even a locksmith needs skills that they don't teach you in college. So choose a genre and try metering it.

Until then, feel free to hate the world, and wanting to disappear.
I know I did my share of it, and sooner or later you realize you don't feel that way anymore.

Kaleion:
Just man the fuck up, I was in a similar state last year (but without the alcohol, swap it for some childhood trauma that I'd rather not mention and there you got), and you know what did I do? I manned the fuck up and stopped feeling sorry about myself, I decided that I was going to get my High School done, and went and started doing the tests I needed, I got a part time job, and so far things are going pretty well, as you can see now I have a computer and Internet, which I didn't last year, and though I haven't finished my High School yet (Darn it why can't I be good at math, I only need to pass the last math test >:l) I feel so much better right now, like for example this year I actually wasn't so ashamed about myself that I didn't visit my family (unlike last year), I though I do not know what awaits for me in the future, I do know that it's going to be better because I am in control of my own life now.

I get the feeling you are genuinely trying to help, but "man the f*** up" ain't as easy as it seems. Even to this guy it probably occured to him that he could just listen to some AC/DC, play some doom, and suddenly be fine, but sadly, it just doesn't work like that.

I'll start with a complement, you have quite a way with words for someone who's drunk. A little reminiscent of fight club's "I am jack's..." parts. I don't even know what many of my end-of-night-out posts on here and facebook say, so, you've got that.

And you had the confidence to kiss someone you didn't know. Maybe you didn't feel that confident, but in that field, trust me, you're miles ahead of me.

From what I can see, you need purpose, you need a start, in a way, it's a start you've already made by admitting that you don't know where to go, some people go for years fooling themselves into thinking they know exactly what they're gonna do with their lives. Find something you care about for one thing. Start with that. Films? Games? Music? Art? Talking? The satisfaction of manual labour? Philosophy? What? Find a way to make that into some kind of career. It's okay to be overambitious, because it quite frankly doesn't matter whether you get there. Trying to get to a goal you genuinely care about forces you out of your comfort zone, and means there's always something to hold on for. Yeah, take jobs that aren't in that field if none that are in that field are available, but always keep the possibility of your dream alive. Yes, it's unlikely, by their nature dreams always are, but they give you something to hope for, and you never know, you might just make it.

And I get the feeling you don't know yourself. Good. You have exciting times ahead, along you road to whatever you care about, you will find out what you're made of and what you're not, you will make mistakes, you will feel success, you'll discover that you aren't as good at some things as you thought and you will discover you already are good at things you thought you couldn't be good at even with years of training.

IrishAdams:
Give me a reason to go on...

Because you never know what's behind next mountain.

 

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