Self improvement. i want to improve my life but i have no idea where to start

in all honesty i know ive made topics like this one in the past but i was in a depressed/angry state now im feeling pretty good but i still have the same questions

now ill start off by saying i am 19 and fairly fresh out of highschool and i have nearly no direction as to what i want to do with my life college or otherwise.

and here the problem arises both socially and otherwise, i live in an isolated little canadian town. Not so bad you may say, and i would likely agree but this town has very little in the way of opportunities, its an industry town with 3 liquor stores around 4 bars and one grocery store for a population of around 4000 if the towns website is correct just incase that tells you anything(maybe this is normal i wouldnt know).

and now to simplify ill make up a bucket list of what i want vs. why its difficult

but before i start i would like to state ~I CANNOT JUST UP AND MOVE AWAY!!!!!!!!!!~

i would love to get fit and lose a bit of weight. BUT in all honesty the gym is not somewhere i like being and waking up to knee deep snow and -40 is not the best weather for doing much.

i want to meet some new people who at least share some of my interests. BUT i have fairly niche interests(anime,gaming,medieval weaponry,comedy) where i am now thats few and far between and ive yet to experience much more so im not sure if there is much else,
and my self confidence is not as good as it could be,my guess as to why is because im one of those never had a girlfriend types heck ive never even known of a girl that so much as likes me.

my social circle being the size it is if my immediate group of friends is busy or whatnot im stuck with sitting in my room gaming, its honestly made me feel like i just may not be good enough

I want to experience more and learn what my talents may be. BUT thats hard to do here when all there is to experience is going to the bar and getting drunk or working out on an oil rig or in the coal mine

thats really about it. but im sure if i took a few hours i could make a few more. Any advice for
a jaded bastard like me

Captain_Fantastic:
i would love to get fit and lose a bit of weight

- "A6w".
Try to find THIS in your language. Practice this.

- "100 challenge".
Go HERE. Practice this.

- Running.
Try to find some system covering this activity. Practice.

Further reading :
- Joe Weider
- Pavel Tsatsouline

Captain_Fantastic:
i want to meet some new people who at least share some of my interests

- Find some forums that deal with perfecting body.
Register, ask, listen.

- Find some apps or websites that'll help you in your progress.
This is good example of such. Register, compete.

Captain_Fantastic:
anime,gaming,medieval weaponry,comedy

- I'm puzzled here.
I'm not sure if there are hobbies with larger fanbase than those you mentioned. Really.

Captain_Fantastic:
I want to experience more and learn what my talents may be. BUT thats hard to do here when all there is to experience is going to the bar and getting drunk or working out on an oil rig or in the coal mine

That's an excuse, not the reality.
Ask yourself what you really want.
Write a list with 10 things you WILL achieve.
Be reasonable.
Be honest with yourself.

Good luck.

You still have snow? dangit. Build a snow fort, its your obligation as a Canadian, it's too late for me as the US industrial machine has killed my white Christmases, but knee deep in -40 weather sounds great! A small town of only a few thousand must have a lot of free space, you could build a damn pyramid! (for the record, yes I am also a 19y/o canadian)

JesterRaiin:
Snip

well i thank you for the fitness links somehow it never enters my mind to look that kind of thing up

and the forum idea is great really but what i meant was meet people offline one of the major things i want to do is spend less time in front of a monitor.

and even though my interests are shared by a large group of people, those people are few and far between where i live i was litterally the only person in my entire graduating class who had said interests

and i will make a list of just those things.

Captain_Fantastic:

JesterRaiin:
Snip

well i thank you for the fitness links somehow it never enters my mind to look that kind of thing up

and the forum idea is great really but what i meant was meet people offline one of the major things i want to do is spend less time in front of a monitor.
and even though my interests are shared by a large group of people, those people are few and far between where i live i was litterally the only person in my entire graduating class who had said interests
and i will make a list of just those things.

- Small steps.
First you meet some people online. Then you suggest some joint events, for example running, training and stuff. That's the way to build relationships. But remember : you won't develop 6-pack in one week. Same thing with relationships.

- Quality over quantity.
Facebook and similar useless crap made us believe that we need plenty people to be considered "social". That's 100% bullsh*t. One person you can rely on is worth more than over 9000 "friends".

- PATIENCE !
Every activity if taken seriously, needs time and attention. At first it'll be just something you do between this and that. It's very possible that you'll consider physical exercises a better way to spend your time than this on-line illusion.

Just have faith and patience.
The results will surprise you. :)

Type what you want to do on a big list. Pick one of those things and go from there. Sadly, you pretty much *have* to use the internet for most things. Best of luck

Self improvement?

http://artofmanliness.com/

You're welcome.

Captain_Fantastic:

i would love to get fit and lose a bit of weight. BUT in all honesty the gym is not somewhere i like being and waking up to knee deep snow and -40 is not the best weather for doing much.

You don't have to be outside or in a gym to exercise. You can easily to crunches, push-ups, weight lifting, and other activities in your bedroom.

That said, knee-deep snow means you could get quite a bit of exercise using a snow shovel.

i want to meet some new people who at least share some of my interests. BUT i have fairly niche interests(anime,gaming,medieval weaponry,comedy) where i am now thats few and far between

To find people with similar interests, I have to support the forum idea. Once you've found an online community you can learn if any of them are in your area. Or they may have information on groups near you that you weren't aware existed.

and ive yet to experience much more so im not sure if there is much else

I'm not sure what this means? Are you saying you haven't experience other things so you haven't developed more interests? If that's the case then I think going to those forums could help this as well, since those people will generally also have other (though probably related) interests. People interested in medieval weaponry may also be interested in chainmail, and those people have interests in areas like jewelry and photography, and then you can look more into THOSE hobbies and learn about even MORE stuff.

and my self confidence is not as good as it could be,my guess as to why is because im one of those never had a girlfriend types heck ive never even known of a girl that so much as likes me.

Why is it important for your self-confidence that you have a girlfriend, or a girl who likes you?

my social circle being the size it is if my immediate group of friends is busy or whatnot im stuck with sitting in my room gaming

No, you're just stuck with doing something aside from hanging out with your friends. And since you're trying to improve your life, this is an opportunity. You could use that time to exercise, for instance.

its honestly made me feel like i just may not be good enough

It's important to remember that feelings can be (and, if you're like me, often are) wrong. So rather than allowing yourself to believe this feeling, you should question it. I'm willing to bet that this feeling isn't right at all, and that you should avoid acting on it.

I want to experience more and learn what my talents may be.

Your talents are anything you care enough about to practice doing. That's how "talented" people get to be so good--most of them aren't born with it, they just work really hard. Find something that interests you (again: to the forums!) and give it a shot.

BrassButtons:

Captain_Fantastic:

To find people with similar interests, I have to support the forum idea. Once you've found an online community you can learn if any of them are in your area. Or they may have information on groups near you that you weren't aware existed.

the only thing is this i live about an hours drive from the nearest town and two and a half from the nearest city so as much as meeting people online from nearby cities sounds great and i know there are people in said city with similiar interests but being 200 km away makes it difficult to meet up and go for cofee

I'm not sure what this means? Are you saying you haven't experience other things so you haven't developed more interests? If that's the case then I think going to those forums could help this as well, since those people will generally also have other (though probably related) interests. People interested in medieval weaponry may also be interested in chainmail, and those people have interests in areas like jewelry and photography, and then you can look more into THOSE hobbies and learn about even MORE stuff.

true enough but again the distance comes to mind i know for one i have a slight interest in making some of my own clothes (not for cosplay reasons entirely but i want some cool looking pants) but the nearest supply store being in the city limits me in some ways

Why is it important for your self-confidence that you have a girlfriend, or a girl who likes you?

well the thing is after a while of all my close friends being in relationships and me having never even met somebody who was genuinely interested in me makes me feel like maybe there is something wrong with me in some way

No, you're just stuck with doing something aside from hanging out with your friends. And since you're trying to improve your life, this is an opportunity. You could use that time to exercise, for instance.

yeah true enough but 3 days of exercising in my room along with not being healthy, gets boring after half of day two and the weather does not make it easy to get out and do something.

It's important to remember that feelings can be (and, if you're like me, often are) wrong. So rather than allowing yourself to believe this feeling, you should question it. I'm willing to bet that this feeling isn't right at all, and that you should avoid acting on it.

yeah i often try to avoid the feeling and im doing pretty well with it but it doesnt help that im constantly reminded.

Your talents are anything you care enough about to practice doing. That's how "talented" people get to be so good--most of them aren't born with it, they just work really hard. Find something that interests you (again: to the forums!) and give it a shot.

true enough but again i just feel limited as to just what i can do in such an isolated little town but i do try when the weather permits (knife throwing sucks in -40)

Captain_Fantastic:

the only thing is this i live about an hours drive from the nearest town and two and a half from the nearest city so as much as meeting people online from nearby cities sounds great and i know there are people in said city with similiar interests but being 200 km away makes it difficult to meet up and go for cofee

Then this probably isn't something you can fix yet. Put moving to another area in the "long-term goals" category, and set this aside for now. I'd still find online groups, though.

true enough but again the distance comes to mind i know for one i have a slight interest in making some of my own clothes (not for cosplay reasons entirely but i want some cool looking pants) but the nearest supply store being in the city limits me in some ways

And this is why I love the internet. The nearest decently-priced supplier for my hobby is several thousand miles away in another country (I'm in the US, it's in Canada--and yes, it's cheaper than US stores even with shipping O.o) Do some research, find an online supplier, and order what you need.

well the thing is after a while of all my close friends being in relationships and me having never even met somebody who was genuinely interested in me makes me feel like maybe there is something wrong with me in some way

Maybe the things to do here is to seriously think about why you haven't been in a relationship yet. How many girls have you asked out? If the answer is "few" or "none" then why? If it's because you haven't met a girl who meets your standards, then that's a good thing. If it's because you've been to shy to try, then that's something you can work on.

It's important to remember that your self-worth is not dependent on your relationship status. Being single does not make you a bad or worthless person. And the better you can understand what makes you worthwhile aside from your relationship status, the more confident you will be when it comes to dating.

yeah true enough but 3 days of exercising in my room along with not being healthy, gets boring after half of day two and the weather does not make it easy to get out and do something.

If you keep this up you will become healthy. As for the boredom, if you start making your own clothes that will be something else you can do in that time. Basically any time not spent hanging out with friends is time you can be using to work on anything else. Treat it like an opportunity.

yeah i often try to avoid the feeling and im doing pretty well with it but it doesnt help that im constantly reminded.

It takes a lot of practice to change thought patterns (and the feelings that result from them). Be patient and keep working at it.

true enough but again i just feel limited as to just what i can do in such an isolated little town but i do try when the weather permits (knife throwing sucks in -40)

You need some indoor hobbies to supplement the outdoor ones, I think. Or find some way to move the knife-throwing indoors (obviously this may not be possible do to safety concerns, but hey people have been throwing darts indoors for ages, right?)

BrassButtons:

Then this probably isn't something you can fix yet. Put moving to another area in the "long-term goals" category, and set this aside for now. I'd still find online groups, though.

true enough .... i guess that will have to wait

And this is why I love the internet. The nearest decently-priced supplier for my hobby is several thousand miles away in another country (I'm in the US, it's in Canada--and yes, it's cheaper than US stores even with shipping O.o) Do some research, find an online supplier, and order what you need.

yeah i just started getting into purchasing things online for my weaponry hobbie but i still find it a bit difficult to find hobbies im actually interested in doing and getting started with them

Maybe the things to do here is to seriously think about why you haven't been in a relationship yet. How many girls have you asked out? If the answer is "few" or "none" then why? If it's because you haven't met a girl who meets your standards, then that's a good thing. If it's because you've been to shy to try, then that's something you can work on.

yeah i used to be too shy but i overcame that and have been rejected every time(once apparently because im a "player") and again the population kind of keeps me at bay, and it also annoys me to no end that the jobless highschool dropouts(i usually don't compare myself to others but these guys are just lowlifes) get with these amazing girls and then procede to cheat on them

It's important to remember that your self-worth is not dependent on your relationship status. Being single does not make you a bad or worthless person. And the better you can understand what makes you worthwhile aside from your relationship status, the more confident you will be when it comes to dating.

yeah i understand that and in all honesty alot of my close friends look up to me as a kind of mentor(or so they tell me) but well if you read TVtropes the Broken ace kinda fits the description, i feel like i missed out on alot of good things when i was young due to my shyness and location so i do try to make up for it as much as possible, it doesnt help i have cousins in the big city who can't seem to shut up about their olympic level talented friends.

If you keep this up you will become healthy. As for the boredom, if you start making your own clothes that will be something else you can do in that time. Basically any time not spent hanging out with friends is time you can be using to work on anything else. Treat it like an opportunity.

yeah this is true enough and even though working out for three days straight i could get to work on some other things ive been meaning to do. thank you

It takes a lot of practice to change thought patterns (and the feelings that result from them). Be patient and keep working at it.

oh trust me i know, but i am working on it and i am getting better at it.

You need some indoor hobbies to supplement the outdoor ones, I think. Or find some way to move the knife-throwing indoors (obviously this may not be possible do to safety concerns, but hey people have been throwing darts indoors for ages, right?)

yeah ive been meaning to get into various types of craftsmanship ie.blacksmithing,leatherworking,woodworking. but tools and space have been keeping me held up but i will try my best to do what i can with what i have

and finally thank you for everything you have told me if nothing else ill keep this bookmarked to look back on when i have doubts

Captain_Fantastic:

i still find it a bit difficult to find hobbies im actually interested in doing and getting started with them

I had the same problem for years. The good thing is that since you already have a few hobbies, you can branch off from there. Like I said earlier, if you talk to people who share the hobbies you currently have, they may give you ideas for other hobbies. And because those people will share some of your interests, there's a good chance their other hobbies will interest you as well. I found I have a bit of an interest in photography after hanging around chainmaille forums (not as weird as it sounds--maille is hard to photograph, so there are lots of discussions in how to get good pictures).

yeah i used to be too shy but i overcame that and have been rejected every time(once apparently because im a "player") and again the population kind of keeps me at bay, and it also annoys me to no end that the jobless highschool dropouts(i usually don't compare myself to others but these guys are just lowlifes) get with these amazing girls and then procede to cheat on them

If there aren't a lot of (worthwhile) girls around then I don't think your being single is really something to be concerned about. As for the girls who are dating the lowlifes, are they really that amazing if they have such low standards?

yeah ive been meaning to get into various types of craftsmanship ie.blacksmithing,leatherworking,woodworking. but tools and space have been keeping me held up but i will try my best to do what i can with what i have

Those all sound like they would be really cool.

and finally thank you for everything you have told me if nothing else ill keep this bookmarked to look back on when i have doubts

Glad I've been helpful :)

 

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