I have a serious dilemma

Alright so (it may not be that serious, serious to me) I have a friend who for whatever reason considers going to school together counts as hanging out. We're in the same class but on breaks we "hang out" with pretty much every one in our class. (Our class isn't very big, college class, 18 people) Now to me we're both there for schooling and not each other, to me hanging out is after school when you don't have to worry about home work or tests and things like that. Sure we "hang out" during lunch and breaks but that's really just cause we're in the same class and there's not far where either of us can go (well I can go wherever because I have a car but she can't)

Maybe I'm just crazy. What do you nice people think? I guess the purpose of this is to see how many people agree with me and could give me something to say that could convince my friend to hang out with me again after school, I'm not good at describing things to people without me coming off as a jerk wad or something also I need to vent.

Why not just say "Hey man, wanna go 'insert activity here' after School today?".

Captcha: I can do this!

What is you can do exact- OH GOD CAPTCHA NO!!!

I don't see a dilemma. What ethical question is at issue here?

Remember everyone's social needs are different. Some are satisfied to 'hang' in a particular setting and don't require anything else. Others require more. Perhaps you should pose the opportunity to hang in another context and see if they're interested.

Ask your friend to go to the movies, the arcade, or out to get something to eat. Ask normal things. You don't need to describe them, since they are pretty self explanatory. Though, be mindful that not everyone is outgoing. Some people prefer to keep school friendships within school. Also, it could be more of a parental block too. She might be on a strict leash. A lot of factors can cause someone to view school as hanging out. My advice to you is get an idea of things she likes to do while interacting with her in school - then suggest doing one that you obviously can't do in school. Such as seeing a new movie. This really does depend on her interests though. This way, you can get a better idea of what to ask her in terms of hanging out material. :)

Do be mindful of what I said though, please! The issue may be one that isn't visible to someone on the surface.

I hope this helps!

Aylaine:
Ask your friend to go to the movies, the arcade, or out to get something to eat. Ask normal things. You don't need to describe them, since they are pretty self explanatory. Though, be mindful that not everyone is outgoing. Some people prefer to keep school friendships within school. Also, it could be more of a parental block too. She might be on a strict leash. A lot of factors can cause someone to view school as hanging out. My advice to you is get an idea of things she likes to do while interacting with her in school - then suggest doing one that you obviously can't do in school. Such as seeing a new movie. This really does depend on her interests though. This way, you can get a better idea of what to ask her in terms of hanging out material. :)

Do be mindful of what I said though, please! The issue may be one that isn't visible to someone on the surface.

I hope this helps!

I guess I really should have explained better. I suppose it's really just me venting, it does make me a bit sad. See, I started in the (college) course two weeks before she did and we use to hang out all the time before she joined my class. Now we only "hang out" in school.

It just makes me upset because with me, I love being around people, it's one of the reasons I absolutely love school. People (seemingly) care about me there, they talk to me and they're really nice (by "they" I mean my fellow class mates) to me. Now when I go home it's emotionally crippling because there's no one here for me. My mom is here sometimes but I can't really talk to her like I do to my fellow class mates. I just really hate being alone. (Excuse me for any bad grammar) I don't have a lot of friends to begin with and the ones I do have I rarely see.

So I had this friend who I'd hang out with a bunch after school and it was great but now I never hang out with her and that makes me sad, I don't like going home, no one to talk to here.

Quiet Stranger:
:o

Ok, acknowledged!

Though, does she know that you are lonely at home? It might help you reach out to her if she knows your motivation for asking her in the first place. I would consider asking her why she considers school as hanging out time. The more you know about what's what on her end, the better your decisions will be in terms of what to do. If you are just venting, & don't intend to do anything, that's okay too. Just give it some thought. :)

 

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