Big Help Needed :S

Hello Escapist, I think I am quite on the edge on breaking myself. I have a huge internet addiction that I can't break. I is very hard for me to find basically anything that I like in life or anything I feel like any ambition of doing. Last month I left my very well payed job because its was getting me mentally sick of not having enough "fun" and for not having enough social. So since then I'm basically sitting / leaning on my bed, doing internet stuff for more than 12 hours a day. I feel it killing drastically any kind of ambition or drive to do ANYTHING, it take a lot for me just to lift myself and do my food, it was not for necessity and at that it almost been a week I haven't took a shower because I feel like its really troublesome.

I'm kinda scared because I want to break free and have a very hard time trying to kick my ass off to do anything...

Everything seem dull, I barely like to do anything outside beside playing board games with friends. I don't like doing sport (because I don't feel enough intellect works), I don't really like any kind of music, I can barely play video games for more than 1 or 2 hours.

I feel like I would need to be cloistered away for more than a year of the internet to really learn what to do with my own life.
I have a bad feeling of being trapped of my own addiction

Feeling sad...
Signed Siyano

Kind of difficult to narrow in on anything specific here considering you haven't recognized anything you enjoy in your own life. Do you enjoy the internet at all either? You could be suffering from depression, although I'm skeptical to diagnose anyone with that. I'm not a doctor, and I have a hard time believing it in most cases.

What I might suggest is weening yourself of through steps. Don't think big, think little. Here are a few ideas...

Go to a comedy club. It's a great way to get out of the house and have a laugh. It builds positive association with exploration and socialization. Just note; you're there for yourself because you enjoy a good laugh.

Find something you thought was really interesting online, and apply that in your everyday life. It could be as simple as trying something new, like a restaurant, or something you saw on mythbusters. Think about what sites you frequent, and what they represent in the real world, then explore the real world equivilent.

Admit your addiction to your friends, and ask they help. It doesn't have to be cold turkey, maybe something as simple as one night a week you all go to a park and talk current events. If your friends are aware of your issues, they can put a little more effort into making time for you and motivating you to keep your weekly outdoors/offline meet up.

Give yourself a project that requires attention. Maybe building something, working on your own car, taking care of a plant, something that requires time and devotion. In extreme circumstances, I might even suggest getting a dog; *but*, only if you are ready for serious change in lifestyle and commitment.

Go to a restaurant and order something delicious. Or try cooking a new recipe at home just for fun that you got online.

Admitting to yourself is a great first step. Just think small for right now. Maybe after you read this, you go for a walk outside for 15min. Get some fresh air, some sun. 15 minutes is nothing.

I enjoy internet in some way because I can find some kind of time waster and entertainment in some way.
The problem is without any current job now I barely can make any kind of big expanse like spending a 50$ on a comedy thing.
The funny thing is I don't have a hard time going out and do stuff if I get invited or when I go play because I enjoy being with friends, the problem is during day time (when 99% of people works) that I find hard to entertain myself other than having to use internet.

I have a lot of project that I want to do but have a hard time focusing on finishing the task or even be on it more than 1 hour at a time because after a while it feels dull, un-fulfilling and stop doing it.

same as for any kind of other outside "activity" I don't mind doing some kind of random walk alone but after 20 minutes I feel bored and want to come back home.

I mostly look at "Let's Play" and "Quick Look" of games or most recent episode of Simpson, South Park, Family Guy and such, so I hardly can find how you can translate anything in real life

I broadly second what Halo said here: what you need is something to break that routine of yours and get yourself more active. Prime candidate for achieving that is to start and do something small yet productive. Look for something that you can do reasonably easy and where you can expect decent results as soon as possible that give you a sense of accomplishment - for instance start by cleaning that flat of yours. Think a bit of where you want to put or how to organize your stuff so that you might find something easier if you need it, or perhaps you could hang up that lamp/shelf/poster you bought back in the day but were always to lazy to set up. I'd also echo Halo's idea of taking a walk or a hike (or even some running if you are feeling adventurous). Personally, I always found going outside to be one of the best medicines against lazyness and depression that you can have: getting a bit of sunlight on my face or gazing at the stars is just always lifting up my spirits.

But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. The problem you seem to have is, I think, to a good deal rooted in that you need to actually start something and stick to it for sometime without getting bored. And, frankly, actually starting is always the hardest thing to do. The only thing I can tell you about it, is that you have to actually convince or force yourself to do it. Once you have started up and done something for a reasonable amount of time - meaning longer than an hour - it gets easier and you will find that sense of accomplishment I mentioned earlier. You need to condition yourself in that regard and it will require some willpower to do so, but you will certainly feel better afterwards. You can do it, I'm sure ;)

On the practical side on how to do this, I'd recommend two particular things:

For one, try to get away from your source of addiction. And I mean this from a spatial point of view. Have a library to go to and read some books you always wanted to read? Do it and stay there for the rest of the day. Wanted to visit a friend on the other side of town? Go there and get some booze, you will be occupied for the rest of the night and most of the next day. Wanted to check out one of those sights in your city you never bothered to go, because "meh"? Get your stuff and off you are - as long as possible. It clears your head, and simply not having that tempting internet right in front of you is a huge boon, trust me on that one.

Then: organize yourself. Write yourself a to-do list on what you want to do. Preferably directly after you got up. Perhaps you want to invest two hours in writing, playing the guitar or what-have-you and then clean the kitchen? Write it down there and try to do it. Cross out each thing you managed to do that day and hang it where you can see it. You will see what have accomplished and what you can be proud of to have achieved that day. Also, be humble with that list, you will never accomplish everything. But even a bit from that list is better than nothing. If you are feeling a bit more confident you should also start to make some long-term goals, like "I wanna work through this book until january the fifth" - or something like that. Might smell fishy, but it will help and push you on, so I'd recommend to try it.

Hope that stuff helps a bit. You can do it! ;)

Is it an addiction though or are you merely using the internet to fill out your time and cope with depression? If so I would advise going to see a GP for some anti-depressants. They honestly work wonders.

The funny thing is I have been taken anti depressant for more than 2 months and I haven't seen any difference
I guess I'm "addicted" because I don't feel the drive or motivation to do anything, basically everything seem dull or just not fun enough to interest me, like doing exercise

Anti-depressants plus counselling is usually the recommended route and have much higher success than just anti-depressants alone. I would recommend going back to your GP and have a talk with them about it. It's not much point in being on the drugs if they aren't doing much for you.

The funny thing is I have been taken anti depressant for more than 2 months and I haven't seen any difference
I guess I'm "addicted" because I don't feel the drive or motivation to do anything, basically everything seem dull or just not fun enough to interest me, like doing exercise

That is very symptomatic of depression and is one of the first things GP's ask you about. Again I think you should go have a talk with your GP.

I'm going through just about the same thing you are and I haven't found the answers but I wish you the best of luck in finding them. I haven't gotten around to trying my own advice.


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