How would you greet a first date?
Hug.
43.8% (14)
43.8% (14)
Shake hands.
3.1% (1)
3.1% (1)
Wave.
40.6% (13)
40.6% (13)
Other (specify in comment!)
12.5% (4)
12.5% (4)
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Poll: How do you start off a first date?

So, long story short: Met someone on line, really hit it off. We both seem excited to meet each other, getting coffee at a local place tomorrow that I've always wanted to try.

SO... how do you start the date off when you first meet them? Do you do a professional handshake? Do you go in for a hug? Or do you just kind of wave?

Not sure where the medium is. A handshake might be too stuffy and professional, but a hug might be too intrusive too soon!

Maybe go for the gentlemanly handshake where you kiss the top of their hand.

ShinyCharizard:
Maybe go for the gentlemanly handshake where you kiss the top of their hand.

That's dumb don't listen to this guy.

Depending on how she acts and stuff you'll know which to do. If she's all nervous or anxious or something go for the handshake, if she's all cool or happy/excited then go for a hug.

OR

Go for secret option C. That always works.

Hold her at gunpoint and tell her to get in the van!

OT: It's not hard, go with what your gut tells you, dates are supposed to be fun, not nerve-wrecking.

But say do what White above me said, that sounds pretty good.

If she goes for hug, hug. If she seems as awkward as you make a joke about it. "So do we shake hands, hug or what?"

WolfThomas:
If she goes for hug, hug. If she seems as awkward as you make a joke about it. "So do we shake hands, hug or what?"

Haha, that was my first idea on what to do too, but I think I just thought too much about it. I think the joking about it makes it fun to laugh at, and definitely eases up the tension.

shaking hands
image

i would say a better option would just be "hey {insert name} whatcha wanna do/lets go"
seriously a hand shake seems like you are starting a business meeting

I wouldn't hug yet. but shaking hands is too professional like. Just a smile and a hug should be enough.

As a lady, I would not recommend a hug because that would be a violation of as-of-yet undefined personal space. Best smile and use your words to express your excitement. You can go in for a hug at the end if she seems to be comfortable around you.

Generally it depends on how well you already know each other and how comfortable with physical closeness you both are individually anyway.

Based on your situation specifically, it sounds like you're pretty comfortable with each other online but haven't met in real life yet? So it's a little tricky. I recommend the hug semi-feint (I just made that term up but it's something I do a lot with people in unsure situations, dates or acquaintances). You open your arms wide in greeting (think 'Hey! Look who it is!') and they should see it as you offering as a hug. If they go in for a hug, then you're all good to return the hug. If they do not move, then style it out as if it was just a raised-arm greeting, and you weren't thinking of hugging them at all. It's just a good way of unthreateningly testing how comfortable they are with physical closeness.

A greeting kiss on the cheek makes the hug less awkward. It says 'friend', and that makes them comfortable, also breaks some of the ice. Then you use your judgement to adapt to the situation, escalating 'friend' to 'interest'.

At the end of the day you won't heed the advice in the moment. Don't go in expecting to follow a formula, just have fun and take each step as it comes - otherwise you'll make it awkward.

I would say no touching yet, just talk and tell her what you have planned for the evening.

Everyone is different, obviously, so I'd wait and see how she reacts to you. If she goes for the hug, take it. Generally though I'd just talk to her and go over the usual 'great to see you' stuff before working out what you're going to do now you've actually met.

Things actually went great! She went in for the hug when I got there, we talked for over an hour, laughed almost the entire time, and then hugged at the end. She was a bit rushed due to needing to get dinner with her father, but I texted her later and told her what a great time I had and that I'd love to see her again...

So imagine my surprise when, 4 days later, she still hasn't gotten back to me... awkward.

But that's a story for another thread.

Blazingdragoon04:
Things actually went great! She went in for the hug when I got there, we talked for over an hour, laughed almost the entire time, and then hugged at the end. She was a bit rushed due to needing to get dinner with her father, but I texted her later and told her what a great time I had and that I'd love to see her again...

So imagine my surprise when, 4 days later, she still hasn't gotten back to me... awkward.

But that's a story for another thread.

Don't overthink it, just wait a little and then try again. Hope she's gotten back to you by now!

Servbot 24:

Blazingdragoon04:
Things actually went great! She went in for the hug when I got there, we talked for over an hour, laughed almost the entire time, and then hugged at the end. She was a bit rushed due to needing to get dinner with her father, but I texted her later and told her what a great time I had and that I'd love to see her again...

So imagine my surprise when, 4 days later, she still hasn't gotten back to me... awkward.

But that's a story for another thread.

Don't overthink it, just wait a little and then try again. Hope she's gotten back to you by now!

Haha, noooooooooooope. I actually tried giving her a call to cancel, but her V-mail was full so I had to send her a message through the site we used to meet in the first place; not my ideal way of saying I was busy that weekend, but to be fair I did text her the truncated version of the message too.

No response from that, so I'm bailing. Not worth my time or energy.

No touching yet, I advise. Start off with a polite greeting and make small talk. Start right away trying to learn about her so you have interesting things to talk about as the night wears on.

I'm really of no use here. I'm from Argentina and everybody here kisses each other on the cheek when greeting, male or female. Actually it's more of a place-your-cheek-against-theirs-and-kiss-the-empty-air-by-her-ear (like Romans do in movies) but you get what I mean. If she hasn't gotten back at you there's no need to get pessimistic or rush things, just put her in the back of your mind and live on.

 

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