I think my friend might be a spy - help?

The suspicion came to me again today, that my "friend" might be in some way sent to spy on me. He was just sitting on IM recording whatever I typed. Now I think of it, his responses seem suspicious. He's been there since highschool, a nice position of trust and confidence. And I tried my best to be a friend to him too. Then when I went out, everyone was hostile. I should have known perhaps, he was sending stalker gangs all along. Now I feel betrayed, but not surprised I guess. Although alternately I could have been talking to an impostor who was put there recently. I hope so.

Assuming this is true, should I confront him for it? Or maybe go into hiding...

That's a little paranoid, but understandable, that is some suspicious behaviour. Then again, I'm also paranoid.

I'm not really too sure what to make of it, but you would be surprised of the explanation for some thing sometimes.

Can't be too paranoid these days. If he's against me then the next confrontation could be my last. Maybe cutting off contact temporarily, just to see how he reacts?

Honestly, I'd suggest a psychiatrist or something if you're being serious. Why would anyone be bothering to spy on you, the idea of sending stalker gangs is insane, how would he get in contact with everyone you went out and saw to make them hostile, and the idea of an imposter is only marginally less crazy than the idea of stalker gangs. The whole idea seems ludicrous.

Dijkstra:
Honestly, I'd suggest a psychiatrist or something if you're being serious. Why would anyone be bothering to spy on you, the idea of sending stalker gangs is insane, how would he get in contact with everyone you went out and saw to make them hostile, and the idea of an imposter is only marginally less crazy than the idea of stalker gangs. The whole idea seems ludicrous.

I'm not comfortable telling you why someone would be after me. And it's so easy with modern communications technology, that and telepathy. Practically any of them could be a spy, but they usually travel in groups. I've found buses crammed with potential stalkers more than once. It's a shambolic setup.

I blocked this person temporarily, now to see how they react. I hope it isn't true, but the possibility is scary.

Not crazy...

Feed them false information that might hint to a weakness you do not possess and see what happens.

Standard spy-uncovering practice.

Hmmm, thanks. That might work. I'll have to see how I can apply that.

I do believe your spy would be a very shitty spy if he didn't know you had a publicly view able account on the escapist. So I think he knows you know that you suspect he is a spy, I wouldn't be surprised if he is planning your brain washing right now...

I would also suggest a psychiatrist. If you're really just overly paranoid you'll be getting needed help. And if you're not being paranoid then going to a psychiatrist will make the spy THINK you think you're just paranoid, lulling him into a false sense of security. It's a win-win.

BrassButtons:
I would also suggest a psychiatrist. If you're really just overly paranoid you'll be getting needed help. And if you're not being paranoid then going to a psychiatrist will make the spy THINK you think you're just paranoid, lulling him into a false sense of security. It's a win-win.

lol

i'm assuming this is a troll but i had a friend who had a paranoid psychotic break and honestly i don't find it funny
if you are serious then yes seek psychiatric help. i can not see any situation where the situation you are describing would ever happen in real life

I recall you mentioning that you have AvPD. One of it's hallmarks is an exaggerated sense of mistrust towards other people in general. Therefore, if I were you, I'd be very reluctant in jumping to these kinds of conclusions. There are multitudes of other reasons that could apply as to why the person in question is doing this (most commonly they just fuck up and aren't aware of it) or you might have simply misread that he is indeed copying everything you write. Nothing is ever as simple as we think, especially when it comes to other people.

Also you should really ask yourself what he/she would gain by doing this and what exactly you would lose if he/she is indeed doing this. Don't get me wrong, he/she would be a huge asshat and breaking off any contact is advised, but really, even if he'd put that stuff on facebook or such and go "lol", what exactly would you lose? Honestly, if somebody would unearth the skeletons in my closet I'd go "So what?". I keep that stuff hidden for other people, not myself. Also, I'am fairly certain that if he/she'd do something like that, he/she would definitely hurt themselves as much as they do you - they'd be a social pariah for everybody except your common teenage douchebag. Hell you'd probably be able to sue the person over it.

So, all in all, you are probably just paranoid. Very paranoid even if I take that stalker gang thing seriously. If I do, I agree with the rest that going to a psychiatrist is mandated.

Better stock up on poison darts and cane swords then. Maybe also tape a laser pointer to your watch, just in case.

dmase:
I do believe your spy would be a very shitty spy if he didn't know you had a publicly view able account on the escapist. So I think he knows you know that you suspect he is a spy, I wouldn't be surprised if he is planning your brain washing right now...

That only makes me more damn paranoid.

BrassButtons:
I would also suggest a psychiatrist. If you're really just overly paranoid you'll be getting needed help. And if you're not being paranoid then going to a psychiatrist will make the spy THINK you think you're just paranoid, lulling him into a false sense of security. It's a win-win.

And what if being sent to a psychiatrist and involuntarily committed is just what they want?

Chromatic Aberration:
I recall you mentioning that you have AvPD. One of it's hallmarks is an exaggerated sense of mistrust towards other people in general. Therefore, if I were you, I'd be very reluctant in jumping to these kinds of conclusions. There are multitudes of other reasons that could apply as to why the person in question is doing this (most commonly they just fuck up and aren't aware of it) or you might have simply misread that he is indeed copying everything you write. Nothing is ever as simple as we think, especially when it comes to other people.

Also you should really ask yourself what he/she would gain by doing this and what exactly you would lose if he/she is indeed doing this. Don't get me wrong, he/she would be a huge asshat and breaking off any contact is advised, but really, even if he'd put that stuff on facebook or such and go "lol", what exactly would you lose? Honestly, if somebody would unearth the skeletons in my closet I'd go "So what?". I keep that stuff hidden for other people, not myself. Also, I'am fairly certain that if he/she'd do something like that, he/she would definitely hurt themselves as much as they do you - they'd be a social pariah for everybody except your common teenage douchebag. Hell you'd probably be able to sue the person over it.

So, all in all, you are probably just paranoid. Very paranoid even if I take that stalker gang thing seriously. If I do, I agree with the rest that going to a psychiatrist is mandated.

That's true. I am mistrustful of people. Bear in mind, these are suspicions. I don't believe them infallibly. But they are frightening suspicions. I don't like suspecting my friend of any of this.

That isn't the sort of help I need. They can't help with anything.

How do I know they're not just getting close for ulterior or sinister reasons? I gave in again and accepted their sob story. But I can't shrug that underlying unease that something is just. not. right.

Hmmm, well if they were they aren't doing a very good job, kinda makes you wonder what we pay him for...

MammothBlade:

dmase:
I do believe your spy would be a very shitty spy if he didn't know you had a publicly view able account on the escapist. So I think he knows you know that you suspect he is a spy, I wouldn't be surprised if he is planning your brain washing right now...

That only makes me more damn paranoid.

If you want to stop feeling paranoid I'd suggest a psychiatrist. Your suspicions are not normal in the least. Their root is not rational, even if you get rid of these more will just pop up because you're not dealing with the root of the problem.

MammothBlade:
That's true. I am mistrustful of people. Bear in mind, these are suspicions. I don't believe them infallibly. But they are frightening suspicions. I don't like suspecting my friend of any of this.

Let me start out by saying that I know these kinds of thoughts - they are indeed frightening and if you are not careful can control your very life. What is important is to develop a healthy dose of mistrust with realism being the key-word. As mentioned, what helps is to carefully assess the probability and the gains anyone could have by doing something like that. Consistently applying Hanlon's Razor works wonders in 99% of the cases. And in the remaining one....you know the people who'd do that.

How do I know they're not just getting close for ulterior or sinister reasons? I gave in again and accepted their sob story. But I can't shrug that underlying unease that something is just. not. right.

Nobody knows that. And frankly, we try anyway. Have you ever played poker? Playing the whole game with your cards held tight will wear you down. You have to win a few pots or else you'll lose everything. It's a cheesy metaphor I know, but sometimes you just have to make a bet in life - this is just one example of that. And you can always get the best results by properly appraising the probability, a healthy dose of realism, a little bit of insight about your fellow players and some courage to make the bet. Of course, you won't always win, but no matter how hard those feelings that haunt you try to tell you that you will lose - a healthy gamble is a part of life. I'd strongly suggest to give this a little thought and perhaps think a little bit about how much those feelings of yours accurately represent what you see.

That isn't the sort of help I need. They can't help with anything.

Are you sure about that? There are many schools in Psychology, many treatment possibilities and last but not least many different psychiatrists...

MammothBlade:

And what if being sent to a psychiatrist and involuntarily committed is just what they want?

Anything you do could be "just what they want". So why not go with the course of action that has the best chance of helping you? You have the same amount to lose as with any other course of action, but much more to gain.

Are sure you don't need to see a psychiatrist it seems like your a bit paranoid?

By 'spy' do you perhaps mean 'stalker'? I can understand that. Discuss your concerns openly, and if you feel that the person's communications seem inappropriate just stop talking to him.

MammothBlade:

I'm not comfortable telling you why someone would be after me. And it's so easy with modern communications technology, that and telepathy.

MammothBlade:
that and telepathy

MammothBlade:
telepathy

Yeah...
Once you start considering telepathy as a SERIOUS thing, you might want to consider getting help.

That's ignoring how paranoid all of this is by default.

I think someone mentioned avoidant personality disorder? That's a possibility, as is paranoid personality disorder.

Then again, I am not a shrink and I advise seeing a proper psychiatrist with all of his medical licences and years of schooling.

lechat:

BrassButtons:
I would also suggest a psychiatrist. If you're really just overly paranoid you'll be getting needed help. And if you're not being paranoid then going to a psychiatrist will make the spy THINK you think you're just paranoid, lulling him into a false sense of security. It's a win-win.

lol

i'm assuming this is a troll but i had a friend who had a paranoid psychotic break and honestly i don't find it funny
if you are serious then yes seek psychiatric help. i can not see any situation where the situation you are describing would ever happen in real life

Chill out

We need to stop on the troll button, whether you agree with his sense of humor or not he was giving sound advice (as in, seeing a shrink).

Putting the label "troll" because he has a sense of humor you don't like is rather childish.

Saviordd1:

lechat:

BrassButtons:
I would also suggest a psychiatrist. If you're really just overly paranoid you'll be getting needed help. And if you're not being paranoid then going to a psychiatrist will make the spy THINK you think you're just paranoid, lulling him into a false sense of security. It's a win-win.

lol

i'm assuming this is a troll but i had a friend who had a paranoid psychotic break and honestly i don't find it funny
if you are serious then yes seek psychiatric help. i can not see any situation where the situation you are describing would ever happen in real life

Chill out

We need to stop on the troll button, whether you agree with his sense of humor or not he was giving sound advice (as in, seeing a shrink).

Putting the label "troll" because he has a sense of humor you don't like is rather childish.

i was saying the op is likely a troll not him

lechat:

Saviordd1:

lechat:

lol

i'm assuming this is a troll but i had a friend who had a paranoid psychotic break and honestly i don't find it funny
if you are serious then yes seek psychiatric help. i can not see any situation where the situation you are describing would ever happen in real life

Chill out

We need to stop on the troll button, whether you agree with his sense of humor or not he was giving sound advice (as in, seeing a shrink).

Putting the label "troll" because he has a sense of humor you don't like is rather childish.

i was saying the op is likely a troll not him

I apologize full heartedly.

If he's a troll though he's a poor one as he's not making anyone mad.

Saviordd1:

MammothBlade:

I'm not comfortable telling you why someone would be after me. And it's so easy with modern communications technology, that and telepathy.

MammothBlade:
that and telepathy

MammothBlade:
telepathy

Yeah...
Once you start considering telepathy as a SERIOUS thing, you might want to consider getting help.

That's ignoring how paranoid all of this is by default.

I think someone mentioned avoidant personality disorder? That's a possibility, as is paranoid personality disorder.

Then again, I am not a shrink and I advise seeing a proper psychiatrist with all of his medical licences and years of schooling.

AvPD is pretty much a certainty, but whatever...

After calming down a bit, I think I'm just under stress lately, which causes me to be a tad more paranoid than usual. Nonetheless to say I have made up with said "friend", as much as I can.

No guarantees, I've tried going to a psych before and they let me down.

lechat:

i was saying the op is likely a troll not him

And that really wasn't helpful. I was being serious.

MammothBlade:

lechat:

i was saying the op is likely a troll not him

And that really wasn't helpful. I was being serious.

and again assuming this isn't some sort of joke i suggest you seek help
i had a friend of mine convinced he was part of some massive conspiracy where he was being followed, random ppl on the street were actually spies and he wanted me, a very close friend to check his car for bugs assuming he could trust me which he didn't

illusions of grandeur and an overbearing feeling of being part of a larger conspiracy are common symptoms of paranoia and should be treated medically. i wouldn't even know how to begin making you see a psychiatrist as i was unable to even help my close friend but all i can do is recommend once again that you seek medical help.

I read that paranoia is a sign of depression.
I find it highly unlikely that anyone would need to spy on you unless you are involved in some military/ government etc work...

MammothBlade:

No guarantees, I've tried going to a psych before and they let me down.

From what I understand it can be difficult finding a therapist who actually works well for you. There are many different schools of therapy, and many different individual approaches on top of that, which can make it hard to find the right fit. You might find Michael Hurd's Bad Therapy, Good Therapy helpful.

This looks like a cry for attention more than anything.

If you believe your friend is spying on you, I'd recommend you talk about it in detail with a psychiatrist.
Unless you're sitting on some sort of massively important secret information from a government or large corporation, that is.

If I may quote the OP from another thread on why you've been banned before (on other communities):

MammothBlade:
Trolling, spamming, posting porn, being underage, "hacking", grossly offensive comments, insulting a moderator, pretty much the whole works bar any serious criminal offences. In most cases, I got bored with a forum and turned into a complete arsehole for the fun of it.

Excuse me if I don't take this thread seriously.

Here's the link to the post: www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.397657-Being-banned#16235030

Arakasi:
If I may quote the OP from another thread on why you've been banned before (on other communities):

MammothBlade:
Trolling, spamming, posting porn, being underage, "hacking", grossly offensive comments, insulting a moderator, pretty much the whole works bar any serious criminal offences. In most cases, I got bored with a forum and turned into a complete arsehole for the fun of it.

Excuse me if I don't take this thread seriously.

Here's the link to the post: www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.397657-Being-banned#16235030

...

So you went and dug up dirt just to antagonise me?

This post was serious, but like I said, I've calmed down now and I don't want to set off any more triggers, so please, drop it.

MammothBlade:

Arakasi:
If I may quote the OP from another thread on why you've been banned before (on other communities):

MammothBlade:
Trolling, spamming, posting porn, being underage, "hacking", grossly offensive comments, insulting a moderator, pretty much the whole works bar any serious criminal offences. In most cases, I got bored with a forum and turned into a complete arsehole for the fun of it.

Excuse me if I don't take this thread seriously.

Here's the link to the post: www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.397657-Being-banned#16235030

...

So you went and dug up dirt just to antagonise me?

This post was serious, but like I said, I've calmed down now and I don't want to set off any more triggers, so please, drop it.

Apologies if you considered it antagonising, I did not mean it that way. I merely meant it as a warning to people to be skeptical about these types of posts.

As for psychologists, from what I've heard it is a very hit and miss situation, mostly populated by misses.
It is probably best not to give up on the first one for this kind of situation, assuming its authenticity.

 

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