Need some serious advice

All right fellow Escapists. This is where I need some serious advice. I've kind of been, but kind of not been in a relationship with this girl for the past while. She has caused me an unimaginable amount of emotion stress and pain which already stacked on my depression, social, and stress disorders. It was basically an abusive relationship ship that I was afraid to leave because she'd always act all said and freak out, threatening to hurt herself.

Two days ago she inexplicably stopped talking to me, a good thing right? Well... I still felt sad about it. I woke up today to find my inbox filled with emails. I felt popular for a moment before I noticed they were all threats against my life. Apparently last night she was telling people that I was black mailing her to perform sexual favours and the like. My emotions began flying every where and still are. I called my lawyer and he said I could file a suit for defamation of character and emotional pain.

Right now, I'm sitting on the whole thing. My emotions are still flying. Mainly just sadness, anger, and shock. I'm afraid to leave my house because of the threats and the police aren't taking me serious because her father is an officer too.

What should I do? I can clarify anything if need be.

So you want to go file a law suit for emotional pain even though you caused her tons of emotional pain before. Don't go say you didn't because I was their on one of the instances where you made a certain implication and she was completely distraught the rest of the time I was with her.

dahfishman:
So you want to go file a law suit for emotional pain even though you caused her tons of emotional pain before. Don't go say you didn't because I was their on one of the instances where you made a certain implication and she was completely distraught the rest of the time I was with her.

I'm not looking for things happened in the past which have been resolved and dealt with, so no need to bring them up. I'm looking for the opinion of the escapists on the current situation as listed in the OP.

Beside the emotional pain which has recently been caused and even moving into the past was all her. That pain you claim I gave her was just a reflection of the pain she was causing me and she was well aware of that fact. Still... Main topic and hand please OP

Mr Binary:

dahfishman:
So you want to go file a law suit for emotional pain even though you caused her tons of emotional pain before. Don't go say you didn't because I was their on one of the instances where you made a certain implication and she was completely distraught the rest of the time I was with her.

I'm not looking for things happened in the past which have been resolved and dealt with, so no need to bring them up. I'm looking for the opinion of the escapists on the current situation as listed in the OP.

I brought it up because I don't see the justification of you filing a law suit for something like that.

dahfishman:

Mr Binary:

dahfishman:
So you want to go file a law suit for emotional pain even though you caused her tons of emotional pain before. Don't go say you didn't because I was their on one of the instances where you made a certain implication and she was completely distraught the rest of the time I was with her.

I'm not looking for things happened in the past which have been resolved and dealt with, so no need to bring them up. I'm looking for the opinion of the escapists on the current situation as listed in the OP.

I brought it up because I don't see the justification of you filing a law suit for something like that.

You don't see the valid law suit when someone lies about something as serious as claiming rape? I was expect some intellectual responses.

Well, to be fair. You haven't been around a lot these past few times to see the change of emotions and what has transpired. So I would appreciate if you would not comment any more Fish. and let the other escapists read the OP. I'm gong to go crash now after these emotion pill things are getting to me.

Mr Binary:

dahfishman:

Mr Binary:

I'm not looking for things happened in the past which have been resolved and dealt with, so no need to bring them up. I'm looking for the opinion of the escapists on the current situation as listed in the OP.

I brought it up because I don't see the justification of you filing a law suit for something like that.

You don't see the valid law suit when someone lies about something as serious as claiming rape? I was expect some intellectual responses.

Ok,first of all I am taking that as a stab at my level of intellect. Secondly I never thought the word "rape" so no, I didn't see it being very valid. Third, I see absolutely no reason as to why she would claim something so serious without there being truth in there somewhere.

This is like an ugly divorce, so do what they do in ugly divorces: talk through your lawyers. Cease all contact and treat this with dead seriousness, contact your lawyer and don't make things worse for yourself.

Darken12:
This is like an ugly divorce, so do what they do in ugly divorces: talk through your lawyers. Cease all contact and treat this with dead seriousness, contact your lawyer and don't make things worse for yourself.

This. It's the best thing to do in this kind of situation.

ShinyCharizard:

Darken12:
This is like an ugly divorce, so do what they do in ugly divorces: talk through your lawyers. Cease all contact and treat this with dead seriousness, contact your lawyer and don't make things worse for yourself.

This. It's the best thing to do in this kind of situation.

Yeah, that's what I have done thus far. As you can see from the above though, people continue to harass me about it even when I'm asking advise away from where I usually would. That's what makes this thing so stressful.

Mr Binary:

ShinyCharizard:

Darken12:
This is like an ugly divorce, so do what they do in ugly divorces: talk through your lawyers. Cease all contact and treat this with dead seriousness, contact your lawyer and don't make things worse for yourself.

This. It's the best thing to do in this kind of situation.

Yeah, that's what I have done thus far. As you can see from the above though, people continue to harass me about it even when I'm asking advise away from where I usually would. That's what makes this thing so stressful.

Yeah I can understand it being stressful. I wouldn't have thought you'd be harassed by someone on the escapist advice forums of all places.

ShinyCharizard:

Mr Binary:

ShinyCharizard:

This. It's the best thing to do in this kind of situation.

Yeah, that's what I have done thus far. As you can see from the above though, people continue to harass me about it even when I'm asking advise away from where I usually would. That's what makes this thing so stressful.

Yeah I can understand it being stressful. I wouldn't have thought you'd be harassed by someone on the escapist advice forums of all places.

Even I'm shocked that he did that without knowing the whole story or anything either. I appreciate the honest and supportive advice from you.

Mr Binary:
All right fellow Escapists. This is where I need some serious advice. I've kind of been, but kind of not been in a relationship with this girl for the past while. She has caused me an unimaginable amount of emotion stress and pain which already stacked on my depression, social, and stress disorders. It was basically an abusive relationship ship that I was afraid to leave because she'd always act all said and freak out, threatening to hurt herself.

Two days ago she inexplicably stopped talking to me, a good thing right? Well... I still felt sad about it. I woke up today to find my inbox filled with emails. I felt popular for a moment before I noticed they were all threats against my life. Apparently last night she was telling people that I was black mailing her to perform sexual favours and the like. My emotions began flying every where and still are. I called my lawyer and he said I could file a suit for defamation of character and emotional pain.

Right now, I'm sitting on the whole thing. My emotions are still flying. Mainly just sadness, anger, and shock. I'm afraid to leave my house because of the threats and the police aren't taking me serious because her father is an officer too.

What should I do? I can clarify anything if need be.

Ok, while you can file a suit for defamation of character and emotional pain, it does nobody any good, cause clearly (forgive my abruptness) this bitch is insane...filing a lawsuit against her isn't gonna fix anything. She's just gonna rage more and more on it and it'll escalate anyway.

My advice, from personal experience, stay the fuck away from her. Cut off all contact from her. Focus on being with your friends, your true friends to help you out. People are only getting one side of the story, so its on them for not getting your side cause they clearly don't know you. If people confront you about it, say "listen I know shit's being said, and you're coming up and attacking me and you don't even know me as a person. You're only getting one side of the story. If you want to hear my side fine, if you're going to listen to her side then we have nothing more to discuss, but you should get your facts straight." The less you acknowledge the problem, the less likely you are involving yourself in the drama and not fanning the flames. Like I said keep away from her. If she still does this, a restraining order might be necessary. You still have all the messages I assume, theres your proof right there from the death threats you got for people who don't know the situation that this bitch has gone around telling people and is HARASSING you! (also something you should add on to emotional pain and defamation) Then her cop dad can't say shit, because then he's refusing to do his duty as an officer of the law, and as a father to tell his little rat spit to chill the fuck out.

But In all seriousness dude. Let it blow over. Stick with your buds (your real friends who ACTUALLY know you) and keep away from her. If you are too worried to go outside, invite those buds over for a beer or whatever and hang out and then see if they can get you comfortable enough to get you outside. Hope things work out bud!

A quick look onto your profile page tells me that you are Canadian, so I'm going to assume that's where you are.

Canadian law being based around the English Common Law (which I'm studying), I would assume the treatment of both defamation and emotional pain by the courts is mostly the same.
Both of these are among the most expensive, time-consuming and difficult to fight suits.
So my recommendation to you is to only take her to court if there is a real strong case: The emotional pain must have led to something serious, not just feeling down but diagnosed clinical depression. My recommendation to you is therefore to be reluctant to sue, but keep a lawyer at arm's length, just in case. (Again, I don't the particulars of your situation but a suit for psychiatric harm is not to be made lightly).

Moving away from the law and onto the emotion side, I really feel for you. My advice is to cut all ties with this girl as she clearly isn't a positive figure in you life. If she continues to throw wild accusations around (and more importantly, if people believe her), then that is when you threaten legal action. Once she realizes you won't be pushed around, she may well leave you alone.

I'm with the majority, sever all contacts with this woman and seek legal advice. Keep hold of any emails from her and or these threats. Any evidence will help if the anything should happen. Make sure your lawyer knows that the girl's father is in the police force when you talk to them.

If you have some friends you can invite over, do that. Go out with friends. Even though it is unlikely that these threats will be acted upon, it is always best to travel in groups. More security and if anyone does try anything, then there are more witnesses. It might also be an idea to see your doctor, if your emotional state is stopping you sleeping or eating properly, then short term medication could be helpful, and also then you have record of you visiting a doctor about your mental health.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here