Dem Wimmens- Yet more problems

I'm sure I ask for advice here far too much, but what the hey.

Well, last week, I met a great girl, and we've been talking for bloomin' hours every day. I'm pretty certain she likes me a lot, and I like her a lot too. We share loads of the same tastes, we get along fantastically. I've never been smitten quite so quickly, it's taken me completely by surprise.

The problem isn't with her, and I'm fairly confident that if I asked her out she would say yes (I wouldn't ask her out so soon anyway). You see, the last two relationships I've been in were proper relationships, and I did actually love them, they weren't silly teenage things. I got dumped last October, and also in September 2011, both times shook me up pretty badly. The problem is that I'm not sure I'm ready for this again just yet; I don't know if I could take it if we started going out and just a few months later (my last relationship didn't make 6 months, and I had absolutely no warning) she leaves me and I'm left wondering what the fuck is wrong with me again.

Should I try and nip my feelings in the bud now, or is pursuing this worth the risk of being hurt again?

I have a feeling if you don't pursue this then you will end up regretting it later in life. I'll pull out the old cliché and say it is better to try and fail then not try at all.

The best way to get over the last one is the next one.

I always look at past relationships as training for the one that finally fits both you and your partner.

Don't look at past relationships as bad things but as good things.

In reflection I have learned a lot from mine, both about women and about what I need out of a relationship. Now I am in one that's been going on 4 years of us living together, even combining and sharing our incomes. We are essentially married in all but title.

The thing is, this relationship ENDED the one before it. I literally was not single between my last girlfriend and my present spouse. There is no "appropriate single period". If it feels right, go for it. Do NOT be afraid of rejection or dare contemplate needing to "wait" awhile, she might not be there when you are "ready".

I suggest, if you really like her, to go for it.

But take your time.

Don't get attached before you trust that she feels the same way as you do.

That's the keyword. "Trust".

And evidently (and understandably), it's going to take some time. Give yourself that time.

I suspect you're all right and I just needed someone else to tell me it. As I said, I'm not going to rush into this, but I'll go for it. I'm being a bit silly- this is a good thing, I shouldn't be making myself unhappy over it. If it all goes to shit quickly then fuck it, I'll figure it out when I get to it.

 

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