I need to stop worrying. Help?

Well it's kind of a complicated story. Basically, I'm in a long distance relationship with someone. We are committed to each other, but I can't help but avoid these nagging nervous feelings. Basically, I feel like I'm being too needy and dependent on talking to her via skype or IM or whatever. I feel depressed when I don't hear back from a text right away or when she doesn't answer the phone, and I always worry that it's because she's mad at me or something. The logical part of my brain seems to know that I shouldn't be worrying about it, but the rest hasn't got the memo. This girl is really special to me, I don't want to ruin it all by turning all clingy. Help?

renegade7:
Well it's kind of a complicated story. Basically, I'm in a long distance relationship with someone. We are committed to each other, but I can't help but avoid these nagging nervous feelings. Basically, I feel like I'm being too needy and dependent on talking to her via skype or IM or whatever. I feel depressed when I don't hear back from a text right away or when she doesn't answer the phone, and I always worry that it's because she's mad at me or something. The logical part of my brain seems to know that I shouldn't be worrying about it, but the rest hasn't got the memo. This girl is really special to me, I don't want to ruin it all by turning all clingy. Help?

communication is important in a relationship, especially if it's long distance. if your worried your being to needy just ask her 'does it bother you I txt/call you so much?'
and I know the mind can play tricks and interpret things strangely but if they don't reply right away they are probably busy with something.

good luck man long distance relationships take a lot of work but it's worth it if they are the right person

Well how often do you guys usually talk on Skype or IM, and for how long? Sometimes it's reasonable to want more attention from your partner, so we probably need that information to establish whether you are really being clingy. Long distance relationships are really difficult, emotionally draining and basically not for everyone. If you are constantly anxious and craving attention that means it's a pretty uneven relationship and you probably need to talk it out with her.

Some more general advice is, next time you send her a text message, instead of staring at your phone and waiting for the screen to light up, find something else to occupy youself with. Read a book or carry on with whatever you're doing. Just don't count the seconds that have passed since you sent the message.

I get just as obsessive about things, and I find that the trick is to simply listen to the logical part of your brain. Behave the way you know is the right way, and don't concede to your emotions. If you do the logical thing, then your obsessive nature won't mess things up, and by not behaving obsessively, you'll naturally worry about these things less.

 

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