Absolutely at a Loss.

So, I go to a drama group, and last week I stayed behind for a while to talk to a gal. She is a lovely gal, really kind and well balanced, probably the nicest person I ever met. During our conversations she got an obviously very distressing phone call from her mother and when I asked what was wrong she told me about her home life. I found out she was dirt poor (and apparently few people know that), people break into her house because her mom can't afford to pay bills and her mom is abusive, her Dad is rich but doesn't pay child support. After this she got another phone call from her Mom and it was obviously very upsetting for her, she looked close to tears and, well, I had no fucking clue how to respond. I mean I did try and make her feel better, told her I was sorry, that I understood but I feel horrible for not doing anything more. The best I could offer up was "When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail" for Christ's sake. Now I'm conflicted, I'm worried about her but a) I'm not really sure I have the right, I wouldn't be happy if someone got worked up about my life and b) I'm not sure what I should do with her having told me this, offer sympathy, I don't know. She goes to my school but she's not in any of my classes... I don't know, I just feel rotten...

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Be there for her when she needs it. Tell her you'll there for her if she needs it. That's the best comfort anyone could offer.

A Satanic Panda:
Be there for her when she needs it. Tell her you'll there for her if she needs it. That's the best comfort anyone could offer.

Do this, but only if you are truly willing to follow up on this promise.
There is nothing worse in such a situation than an empty promise by someone you trust.

A Satanic Panda:
Be there for her when she needs it. Tell her you'll there for her if she needs it. That's the best comfort anyone could offer.

Do this.

Lt._nefarious:
The best I could offer up was "When life gives you lemons just say fuck the lemons and bail" for Christ's sake.

And for god's sake don't say this again.

All you can really do is make yourself available if you truly want to help. 95% of the time that will likely not be anything more than listening and being sympathetic. Don't try to fix her problems, or fix her life, unless she asks you to. Just listen and be a support.

 

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