a desperate, pathetic sob story

I am a 26 yr old single mom, my daughter is 5. I live with my parents because I have been unable to support myself and daughter. I never graduated high school or learned to drive so I have no diploma to progress in either the world of education or careers, and I have to rely on other people to drive me places.

I have tried to work twice before, but usually have a hard time getting hired and then it's only as seasonal help on a cash register. Cash registers stress me out almost to the point of anxiety attacks, I hate handling money and I am horrible at math.

My parents live in a nice neighborhood, but they are struggling financially so they can't afford home repairs or yard care, or to fix broken appliances so...no washing machine, no oven, no A.C. in the summer, no sprinkler system, the front door lock needs to be fixed, the back yard's fence is toppling over, some plumbing problems, among other things.

I have put all my child support towards my daughter, and my parents have put all extra money they get towards her as well, and paying the mortgage, and feeding and clothing everyone, and even registering my daughter in school and dance classes.

My dad gave me a puppy at Christmas, it was my dream to have a dog for years and I thought it'd make my daughter's life more fun. The puppy has been taking even more money, and I can't even take the dog to play in the back yard because the fence is broken and he'll run free, I don't have money or skill to fix the fence. Also, it is a long-haired dog that can over-heat easily and we still have not had money to fix our A.C. so I'm worried he'll over-heat...the weather is warming up..

.I'm the only one who can watch my daughter or the puppy and I need a job, but if I got a job I'd need to pay someone to watch my daughter and puppy and then after paying for that...I would not have much money left...and everything is falling apart...the house, the yard, my daughter needs things, the dog needs things, and I don't even own hardly any clothes because there's no money for anything..

.I'm getting stressed out and avoiding my dog and becoming irritable with my daughter...I feel cornered and desperate...I need money now but I have no education, skills, job, or even time it seems...I'm overwhelmed, what should I do? I just want to cry.

I know it's all very pathetic, and it's not how I want my life to be. I feel like a total loser, failure. I am trying to get my diploma and learn to drive, and I applied for a job today. But I'm still overwhelmed, and really want advice I feel like everything is closing in on me, like it's too late to salvage my life, too late to rescue myself, like I'm too far gone..too much of a failure to make up for anything...like there is no escape at this point

Also, the reason I'm a single mom is because my husband left me

You can edit your posts, not need to post three times in a row.

OT: I can't really offer any advise, I hope things turn out for the best for you.

Not sure exactly what to suggest for you, OP.

There are plenty of jobs that don't require working directly with money. What about hairdressing, waitressing, cleaning, etc? None of them glamorous jobs, but at the very least I expect you could get one of them. If qualifications are a problem then see if there are community courses near you. They're often in the evenings, so your parents could look after your daughter while you're there, and often free or very cheap.

I used to have a longish-haired dog and in the summer we'd just clip her coat short. She hated it at the time, of course, but it definitely helped. Plus we'd hose her down with cold water after to get rid of any loose hairs, which she loved.

In the age of the internet there's no excuse for not being able to do a bit of DIY! Just google "how to fix a fence", or find an appropriate forum. Your poor dog needs exercise - at the very least take it for a run on a leash. If you really don't have the time to look after it, it might be kinder to let a friend or relative look after it for a while.

Good luck!

I wholly agree with the above. Also aren't there any daycare options where you live? That way you will be able to work without worrying.

Telesales work tends to be really easy to get in the UK and often they work off commission/bonus' so it can be a really good way to quickly make a decent amount of money.

That is if you're prepared to put in the effort.

post=:

I used to have a longish-haired dog and in the summer we'd just clip her coat short. She hated it at the time, of course, but it definitely helped. Plus we'd hose her down with cold water after to get rid of any loose hairs, which she loved.

In the age of the internet there's no excuse for not being able to do a bit of DIY! Just google "how to fix a fence", or find an appropriate forum. Your poor dog needs exercise - at the very least take it for a run on a leash. If you really don't have the time to look after it, it might be kinder to let a friend or relative look after it for a while.

Good luck!

Ah, this breed of dog, a Samoyed, cannot have his coat clipped or shaved ever, I've been told by many breeders, they say samoyed's coats are unique in this way, coat won't grow back properly..needs his coat for insulation, sun-shield. I do take him for walks every day, though, and I take him to a baseball field to run around, which helps. I have thought about having my neighbours look after him sometimes, but then I don't have any money to pay them. However, your hosing off suggestion to cool him is one I can use! Thank you for the job advice, too! :)

To answer AWAR's question...yes, there are daycares, and this may sound ridiculously picky to some people, but I prefer only people I know personally to watch my daughter which is why I have limited my childcare to relatives so far. After reading the newspaper for the last several years, I have this fear of my daughter being molested while away from me, so I get nervous about leaving her in childcare. I don't know why I have this almost constant fear, I was never abused as a child, but still...that is why I have not put her in daycare.

Thank you everyone for the advice, I really appreciate it!

dog is hot
cut hair

fence is broken
google fix fence

door lock broken
google install door lock or buy a cheap 2 dollar slide lock

yard fucked
do some gardening

no money for AC
don't use it

plumbing broken
learn/hire plumber

those and about a billion more are all problems i've had to deal with myself in the last 2 years so no sympathy there but the whole looking for work thing is where i can really empathize. having spent the last 6 months busting my ass to get even a foot in the door of any employer and finally having to lie my ass off to find a job role i could be even remotely happy with i know the feeling.
best i can advise is do everything in your power to make yourself as attractive to potential employers as possible, if that means getting a drivers license then get one, if you need maths skills then study up. good thing about being unemployed is lots of free time!!

also you are 26 FFS that is hardly the time to start talking about how your life has fallen apart. there is always time to turn things around, fuck i know 40 and 50 year olds who have just recently figured out what they want to do with their lives.

Vagabond26:
I know it's all very pathetic, and it's not how I want my life to be. I feel like a total loser, failure. I am trying to get my diploma and learn to drive, and I applied for a job today. But I'm still overwhelmed, and really want advice I feel like everything is closing in on me, like it's too late to salvage my life, too late to rescue myself, like I'm too far gone..too much of a failure to make up for anything...like there is no escape at this point

Not having been in a similar situation, I am sad to say I cannot offer any advice on how to deal with it specifically.

One thing I would like to say though, is please stop beating yourself up about all of this. You are putting yourself down far too much. You have a daughter who, from what I have read, you are trying your hardest to make her life the best you can, and you should be proud of that, especially as you are doing it without the help of her father.

You are in a difficult situation, and are feeling overwhelmed, so naturally it's hard to feel good right now. But rather than focusing on where things are going wrong, try and look at what you can do to make them better. Look at the small things that can be done, and go from there. Try and break things down into achievable tasks and it will become a lot easier, rather than trying to take it all on at once.

I wish you the best of luck, and am sorry I cannot help more.

Vagabond26:

To answer AWAR's question...yes, there are daycares, and this may sound ridiculously picky to some people, but I prefer only people I know personally to watch my daughter which is why I have limited my childcare to relatives so far. After reading the newspaper for the last several years, I have this fear of my daughter being molested while away from me, so I get nervous about leaving her in childcare. I don't know why I have this almost constant fear, I was never abused as a child, but still...that is why I have not put her in daycare.

I understand your concerns but they also seem unfounded. You really can't form a healthy and correct worldview by reading the papers or the news. They only report the worst in the world and then magnify it by 10x.

I'm going to ba harsh here, so bear with me. It sounds like you need someone to be hard on you. My background? 29, female. Worked my way through school and supported myself with no monetary help from family, only lodging and food. Have always paid my own way in life, always did my own work and made my own decisions. And overcame severe shyness and anxiety as well - to the point where I couldn't even pick up the phone to speak to someone I didn't already know.

Vagabond26:
I am a 26 yr old single mom, my daughter is 5. I live with my parents because I have been unable to support myself and daughter. I never graduated high school or learned to drive so I have no diploma to progress in either the world of education or careers, and I have to rely on other people to drive me places.

Living with your parents is fine - there's no issue with that. You must have wonderful parents who are willing to help you out. However... why can't you learn to drive right now? What's stopping you? There is little cost involved in testing and getting your lisence, so buck up and do it.

Why can't you finish high school now? You can get your GED distance. You can also then do college or university courses online. I suggest college and a trade, really. Student loans and other government support is out there - you just have to make the effort.

You are not setting a good example for your daughter. At all.

I have tried to work twice before, but usually have a hard time getting hired and then it's only as seasonal help on a cash register. Cash registers stress me out almost to the point of anxiety attacks, I hate handling money and I am horrible at math.

You've had 2 jobs before? Seriously? That's just pathetic. Honestly, get over it. Everyone has anxiety. If it needs treatment, get some. Otherwise, just go out there and flip burgers for a few hours a day. Take some math courses and learn how to add and subtract. Again, what are you going to do when you can't even help your daughter with her homework? How ashamed will you be, and how can you be a good parent if you can't even handle a little math?

My parents live in a nice neighborhood, but they are struggling financially so they can't afford home repairs or yard care, or to fix broken appliances so...no washing machine, no oven, no A.C. in the summer, no sprinkler system, the front door lock needs to be fixed, the back yard's fence is toppling over, some plumbing problems, among other things.

Move. Simple as that - you can't afford where you live, give up the pretense and go. Why can't your parents or you learn some basic home repairs? Not being able to hammer a few boards back together is simple laziness. Figure it out, it's not that goddamn hard to fix a fence. And, honestly, no sprinkler system? What world do you live in where that's considered a necessity? And AC? most people in the western world don't have AC. Lower your standards and live within your means.

I have put all my child support towards my daughter, and my parents have put all extra money they get towards her as well, and paying the mortgage, and feeding and clothing everyone, and even registering my daughter in school and dance classes.

Good - you're all doing what you can for your daughter. Your parents are also really wonderful for helping out. Your priority is your daughter, and your parents are going way above and beyond as well.

My dad gave me a puppy at Christmas, it was my dream to have a dog for years and I thought it'd make my daughter's life more fun. The puppy has been taking even more money, and I can't even take the dog to play in the back yard because the fence is broken and he'll run free, I don't have money or skill to fix the fence. Also, it is a long-haired dog that can over-heat easily and we still have not had money to fix our A.C. so I'm worried he'll over-heat...the weather is warming up..

If you're as poor as you say you are, why the hell would you get a dog? Youthink they don't take work or money? Hnestly, that was a dumb move. I mean, it's good for your family to have a pet, all families should have pets I think, but if you can't even afford bare necessities... why get a dog, especially one you can't properly take care of? Dumb.

I'm the only one who can watch my daughter or the puppy and I need a job, but if I got a job I'd need to pay someone to watch my daughter and puppy and then after paying for that...I would not have much money left...and everything is falling apart...the house, the yard, my daughter needs things, the dog needs things, and I don't even own hardly any clothes because there's no money for anything..

Why can't your parents watch her? What if you got part-time work in the evenings and they took care of her then? Honestly, you're just making up excuses here. You could even work nights, so your daughter is asleep when you go to work and your parents only have to check in on her. There are a lot of optons here you're just ignoring. I'm sure they've all been laid out infront of you, too, but they all seem too 'hard'. You had a child, you knew life would be hard, so put up, shut up, and support your family.

.

.I'm getting stressed out and avoiding my dog and becoming irritable with my daughter...I feel cornered and desperate...I need money now but I have no education, skills, job, or even time it seems...I'm overwhelmed, what should I do? I just want to cry.

What should you do? Own up to the fact that you've been coasting along for a long time letting everyone else do the hard work. Get your GED, go flip burgers, and start either fixing things around the house or discuss it with your family and possibly move somewhere affordable. THis post? Whining about things that can easily be fixed.

Get out there and prove to your daughter that you're worthy of being her mother. Start setting good examples for her. Work hard, pay your bills, and be positive. You have a child to raise into a decent human being, and that won't happen if you continue on the way you are.

Edit: Well I see your later post, I wish you had said all that at the start because now I see what I said doesn't really apply anymore. The way you worded it and with the limited information you gave it seemed like you were just drifting through life. We obviously don't know you, we base our thoughts on what limited information you give. Good luck with everything.

I still recommend getting a job doing telemarketing,affiliate marketing and all that kind of stuff. There are plenty of jobs you can do at the house I'd just give it a google search.

Again be more careful with what you post in the future if you want to get a good response to a very complicated issue such as yours you really need to go full out with information. Sorry and good luck with your problems.

Oh and I saw your art, very nice. If you knew anyone I'd recommend trying to do art in manga or anything like that really, although I doubt you live in Japan but still that's really good. Maybe see if you could turn your drawing skills into some money.

It sucks to be spoken to harshy, but I agree with what IndomitableSam posted.

Vagabond26:

To answer AWAR's question...yes, there are daycares, and this may sound ridiculously picky to some people, but I prefer only people I know personally to watch my daughter which is why I have limited my childcare to relatives so far. After reading the newspaper for the last several years, I have this fear of my daughter being molested while away from me, so I get nervous about leaving her in childcare. I don't know why I have this almost constant fear, I was never abused as a child, but still...that is why I have not put her in daycare.

You said your child was registered in school, has she started yet?

If so, then why do you have a problem with daycares but not with teachers? I don't buy it.

If not, then you just have to face it and get over it.
Your daughter is 5. She's going to (or should be) starting school within a year.
Making it so that your first experience of her being watched over by strangers is also her first day of school is going to make that day even more difficult for you.

But more importantly,making it so that her first day of school, and every other day afterwards are her first experiences being watched over by strangers is going to make school absolutely dreadful for her.

I feel really bad that this is three harsh posts in a row for you, but I feel like you've given up but you have so much potential.

Some of you have been helpful and respectful, and some of you (Psykoma ,Kuilui IndomitableSam) think it's your place to bitch-slap me over the internet (why the insults, accusations, people? why do you feel the need to add insult to injury? or what do you get out of insulting someone you don't know, over the internet, just because they're stressed out? and how arrogant to assume things unsaid, unproven, untrue? good heavens, I feel like I cut my finger in shark infested waters..one little drop of blood and boy, you sharks come over to tear me up, must be hungry)

I didn't drop out of school, or quit school, for everyone's information. My parents decided to take me out of school in the third grade. My mom and my family in general, never encouraged me in education, and no one ever even brought up the subject of learning to drive (most parents teach their teens how to drive) and I was very isolated growing up, never had a group of friends, you can all think what you want to but the truth is...I never even thought about it, because no one else did in my family, nobody cared that I wasn't in school or learning to drive, and I was isolated so all I did was draw, developing quite a talent for it. I know it sounds unbelievable, but that is the truth. Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes.

And I didn't just go out and get pregnant by being with a bunch of guys, I met someone who wanted to marry me...he thought I was pretty and sweet and thought he loved me, okay, he said he'd teach me how to drive and help me finish school and I fell in love him, too, so we got married. THEN I got pregnant, within marriage and with my first and only sex partner, and he became an alcoholic and decided he wasn't ready for a family, so he left me with a 7 month old infant girl. My parents advised me to stay with them and be an at-home mom until my daughter was old enough to go to school, they said it was best for her to have at least one full-time parent, and I didn't know what to do, so I did what they said.

When I have had money that didn't need to go towards my daughter I'd always give it to my parents to help pitch in. My dad is gone all the time truck-driving. My mom has bad knees. So I am the one who does yardwork, much of the errands, and works part-time whenever someone will hire me (people almost never hire me despite my filling out tons of applications). I have been taking GED classes, but have not finished them yet. I have googled "driving school" to find places to go to where I live and I've only found places that charge about $300 so far, I know there must be other places that are cheaper. My mom hasn't the time to teach me how to drive. My friend said she'd teach me and I accepted her offer, but I've been so busy with other things that I haven't gone to her house yet.

Also, some of you seem to think my parents can just watch my girl all the time or something. My dad is gone, my mom has her own life. This is why I have provided the majority of my child's care and supervision over the past 5 years. I'd ask friends to watch her, once someone hires me, that is!

Some home and yard repairs are not doable for me alone, given that I am 4'11 and 106 lbs, petite build. I can't do EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME AT THE SAME TIME, people, geez. When I have had jobs, I have been so committed that even without transportation at times I have WALKED UNTIL MY ANKLES WERE BLOODY to my job in ANOTHER CITY. In the rain and snow and dark.

And also someone suggested that my family move. Well this house is what my dad has worked for all his life, he already lost one home, it would kill his heart to lose another. And the dog was a gift given to me by him, he went to alot of trouble to do that for me. I'm not just going to give it up easily, how would that make him feel? And my daughter is very attatched to the dog, she doesn't even have an involved father and his relatives don't care about her either...the puppy has brought her some extra companionship.

Why are some of you acting as though I refused to go get a GED or learn how to drive? Didn't I post before any of your posts that I am working on those things, anyway,and have applied for another job?

Some of you are using the excuse of "harsh talk" or "tough talk" to kick me while I'm down..and you assume untrue things about me, and don't even read all my posts closely, AND on top of it ADD INSULT? I thought the forum rules were based on respect. Does no one understand I made myself vulnerable here, and that I already feel shitty? What are all your accomplishments worth if you can't even bring yourselves to treat people with respect, decency, love, fairness, and humility?

I guess I should mock all your mistakes in life and assume things about you? And act superior to you? Or should I drop my daughter off at your home because you're so much better than I? And also, me letting everyone else take care of me? Excuse me? I am doing the hardest work of all, raising my daughter, starting from scratch in a world of assholes, and without any help from my ex who said himself he doesn't care about our daughter? He is letting me do part of his parenting job.

I hope you all feel satisfied with yourselves, you're just a higher caliber of human being than I am. Right. And you know what? If I feel uncomfortable with my kid going to daycare, well guess what, I am her protector, not you, you can send your kid where you want, don't judge me on where I feel safe sending mine. She is in preschool, but only because it's a very nice preschool...so safe, so nice, I can barely..barely afford it...but it's worth it.

You people act so high and mighty, good heavens, and assuming things you don't know, and not even reading all my posts closely...and adding insults which is unnecessary, period. I guess achievment is more important to you all than how you treat others. Go ahead, kick me while I'm down, slander me, accuse me, rub it in my face, compare me to yourself or anyone you know, measure me like sand instead of a person who's equal to you. I guess none of you have ever made mistakes, been worried, wanted advice, needed help, was betrayed, was confused, was ever imperfect in any way. You're perfect, right. You know all the details of my soul, you can judge my character and put me down though I've never done anything to you...gosh, what a great forum. Classy people. Real classy.

I cannot imagine how much you have had to struggle over the years, but I will do my best to offer what advice I can.

I understand that I have not right to tell you how you should raise your child, however I have two major pieces of advise in regard for what you can do for her: 1. Over the next few years teacher her how to deal with being home alone. Perhaps by the age of 10 she will be able to occupy herself if you need to leave her alone for a few hours in the event that you cannot get anyone to watch her. I realize this is long-term advice, but judging from how you described the state of your family, background, living conditions, and financial state I'd say your daughter is going to have a very tough life ahead of her. I'm sure she is a bright girl with a good head on her shoulders which is why I think you should teach her to be responsible (so she can handle herself when she needs to) and friendly (so she can make friends who she can stay with for a day or so on a sleepover when you cannot watch her.

Advice number 2: This is once again a long-term plan, but I think that it is important that you encourage your daughter to go through and graduate school. I just wanted to point this out because I do not know how you feel about how practical getting an education is because of the way you were raised. Perhaps sign her up for a lunch program once she enters elementary school to ease some of the financial burden of food off your family. Take advantage of whatever Food Pantries, Food Banks, Salvation Army clothing... I realize y'all aren't homeless, but taking advantage of every little dollar will help a ton.
If you feel seriously offended (I'm not sure if you will, but I do not know you and I'm not trying to hurt you) by me recommending these options that are typically for the homeless or impoverished, I have this to say: If you want to help this beloved daughter of yours who you've already gone through hell to raise, I doubt you will have trouble swallowing your pride for sake.

Math and schooling for you: I will simply repeat advice that has already been given; some people may disagree with what I'm about to say, but I think it is okay to hold off on community college for three (just throwing out a number) years until you are at a more stable point in your life. Learning to drive, taking care of your daughter, chores, work, pet... you've got a lot on your table. Getting a proper education will help with your job applications, but I don't think it would be wise to overload yourself. You are a strong woman who decided to ask for help rather than simply giving up. You are afraid for your daughter's sake and you decided to put in even more work on yourself to help make her life better. I realize you are scared and you are simply be tired of all of this, but I can see how much passion you hold for your family as well as your dedication.
I do agree that it is important to improve your education and for that reason I recommend you look up Khan Academy on youtube. They do videos on a wide range of topics including math, science, history... they even offer other languages if English isn't your first language. If you cannot find what you're looking for on youtube, then their home website should have what you need. Here is a link to a diagram of sorts which is made up of what I would consider everything mathematics typically covers from grade school to the first year of high school: https://www.khanacademy.org/exercisedashboard
I honestly recommend their home website more than their youtube channel considering how their channel is "organized" now...

Perhaps you could ask a local church to help you out? Financially, occupying your daughter, food, perhaps they offer courses in home repair to teach people how they can help in volunteer projects. If you make friends their, perhaps some of them will be willing to help you with your work at home or give you a job. Even if you don't belong to that church's denomination, they may have some way to aid you if you just take the time to ask the right people. I realize how time consuming this kind of thing may be and I recall you saying that you are already tightly constrained for time, but using a spare moment now to ask for help from groups like that may give you more free time in the long run.

I'm sorry I could not be of anymore help, but I wish you and your family the best of luck in the future. Oh and before I go, I just wanted to add that your drawings are terrific and incredibly well done. Really good work!

Vagabond26:
-

I feel that you should take every advice from the internet with a grain of salt. The reason being that there will certainly be some people that act with a holier than thou attitude or believe that the best way to help is the "shock treatment" (the suck it up attitude). Other people are just completely inept at giving advice. Also keep in mind that this is not a life advice forum, it's an advice section of a gaming forum. If I were you I'd take the useful stuff from this thread and ignore all the haters.

I also saw your drawings yesterday and I'd agree with NightmareWarden, they are spectacular.

I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I do have two things:

Number one: If you have a talent, sharpen it up and use it. Trust me, if you're half as good at drawing as these people say you are, then I advise you set up shop and try to make money off of it. Take commissions, try to sell some things at art fairs, just do something with that talent: do not let it go to waste: it may just be your saving grace.

Number two: This is the internet, and many people with many differing perspectives are here. Those people have different life experiences than you, and when you don't provide all of the relevant information, they fill in the blanks themselves using information garnered from their previous experiences. Sam and Psykoma don't mean to insult you: they're only working with the information you've given them.

Firstly I want to express my condolences for your situation and the way a lot of people have acted towards you in this thread.

My advice would just be to save money where you can. I'm not sure how much her dance classes cost but where I am from they can be quite dear. She is only five years old. Studies show that forcing activities on children that age isn't very effective. Despite what our intuiation may tell us children who start learning something at age eight they do not end up years behind their counterparts that start at age five/six. I suggest pulling her out and being thrifty until you're in a more secure financial situation. If that means re-enrolling her when she is eight I don't think much will have been lost. It doesn't make you a failure if you cannot afford extra-curricular activities for your daughter.

If you could save enough money to buy a washing machine for your clothes it would free up a lot of your time. I know how tedious hand-washing everything for an entire family can be. Pull money out of the non-necessities and focus on finishing your education and finding a stable income. Forget about the yard and the AC, there will be time for that later. If your house isn't already insulated you may want to invest in that. It makes the summer more comfortable and doesn't require any ongoing costs. Your dog ought to be fine with a walk or two a day. Stop stressing and feeling guilty about little things, or putting pressure on yourself to do everything at once. A stressed parent takes a huge toll out of children.

Wow, sorry to hear about your situation. Frankly you'll never be able to take all that's on your plate on at once...you'll need to divide and conquer.

No oven / washer etc...in my area that is a website called Freecycle that you may want to check out to see if it's in your area as well. It's full of people GIVING things away, including appliances and with your situation I'm pretty sure someone getting rid of an oven or a washer would happily hook you up. You might also score some stuff (clothing, and maybe some toys) for you and your daughter. We use the site all the time when we're clearing things out.

The hole in the fence....well, I haven't seen the home obviously, but that may be as simple as just getting some small-ish pieces of plywood as a temporary solution. A few nails to keep it in place and you have a 5 minute fix, it may not be pretty by any means, but it's better than nothing.

The yard work...again, don't know how bad it might be, but once the fence is given a stop gap repair you can do this yourself while the dog is able to enjoy the yard...or pay a couple area kids to do it...wont cost NEARLY as much as trying to get it done by professionals.

Driver's licence...if you have to walk to the next town over for work you desperately need transportation. Most jobs want to know "how you will get to work on time" and being on foot doesn't earn you brownie points in that regard. Maybe the freecycle route can get you a bike as well but in the long term you'll need to be able to drive.

See if there are any support groups for single parents around you. My sister did this when she was younger, she made some good friends, they exchanged babysitting while the others were at their jobs, and she taught one of her friends to drive during all that. It was a win-win for everyone. It always helps when you aren't facing a ton of problems on your own and freinds are a much better outlet for venting, which should also help cut down being short with the little one.

I saw your link in the other thread and you definately have some talent drawing, you know what needs to be done (It's just a matter of getting a helping hand to fix it), your motivated to do everything you can, you're also adorable and so is your daughter, so other than the education and current situation you find yourself in I think you have a lot going for you, it's just going to take making a few of those steps to fix what you can. I don't know how good your cicle of freinds are, but if they can chip in with some of these (the fence, yard, driving...) that should go a long way.

To start i will say kudos to you for managing this far. The only advice i can really offer is in the dog department I'm afraid, but I'll give it my best shot.

If you are worried about it overheating, You could try trimming (Like you said about the breed, Don't full on cut it - If you lightly trim dense areas to the point when the dog no longer appears agitated in the heat!) Also, if you are not able to fix your fence, you could get a ground spike*, and then tie your dogs lead to it. Most rope leads should give a large enough circle for him to roam around and for you to play with him. Depending on the soil quality in your garden, you may want to keep an eye on him to make sure it doesn't come loose(Roughly 8-9 pounds). If you find the time to walk him, take your daughter with you. Her and the dog will appreciate each others company (Dogs will start to associate the family its been brought into as it's pack) and you can teach her the basics of playing and caring for it.

A bike would be a good method of transport (To an excess of 10-15 miles) of getting to work, as a cheaper alternative to a car (Insurance+Fuel on top of the car will be a lot)

* The spike hooks look like this:

image

Best of luck for the future!

You must know that however much you tell us, we are never going to have the full picture of how things are for you. I can't tell you what to do about your situation, but from here it looks like from your tough life of the last few years, your confidence has taken a big knock. I know I throw the confidence thing about a lot in this forum, but it really is the start of fixing a lot of issues. People are more likely to hire you if you have confidence, you must put your past rejections behind you and get a good first impression in there.

Perhaps writing up a schedule, and working out what is essential and where you can get some time to yourself, will help you get started with the yard and driving lessons. Try to make it a regular thing with your friend if the offer is there, just trying to get a short lesson in weekly would be a start. Or indeed, as suggested, if it is practical to get around by bicycle, try to save toward that. I would look up your dog's species and work out what is best from there. If clipping is a good way to go then perhaps there is more information on how much to take off and the best way to go about it.

The yard will take more work, a yard spike could work but it does depend on how strong and well behaved your dog is, and also your soil. An extending lead is another possibility, it will give you some control while giving the dog a little freedom. If you have friends who can help, try to set up a day where you can get them round and get a fence up, even if it's just banging some posts into the ground and nailing in some panels.

OP hasn't been active since the 5th April.

Just saying.

Batou667:
OP hasn't been active since the 5th April.

Just saying.

Point being?

Given what she's got going on, she probably doesn't have that much time to check this website.

My point being that a lot of well-meaning posts are probably going unread.

Hopefully some lucks finds itself in your area. Also Google and phrase things in the form of questions can help with unknowns on how to do things. It has saved me numerous times before with questions such as "how to replace a fuse", "how much of something is toxic" and my favourite "how to glue a vase back together without it looking broken"

 

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