I've been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember. Within the last 5 months I started taking drugs in an attempt to control my emotions and have also started therapy but neither seem to be working. I'm alienating my friends, fucking up with my university degree and I'm as suicidal as ever, if not more so and the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I have two very loving parents whom I respect too much to hurt in any way, but at the same time having no other drive or motivation to live is causing me massive problems. I'm not sure really where to go from here to be honest. I was wondering if any of you Escapists who also suffer from major depression have any tips on how to overcome these feelings.
Thanks for your time
i don't have major depression, but i have moderate depression related to my bipolar NOS which basically means my episodes last a very short amount of time (EG a few hours).
when i'm depressed the first thing to do is to get help from someone who cares right away, your parents would be a good first choice if you don't have anything else. it's good to be comfortable with whoever you go to and is willing to hug and cuddle (parents not best for the later). this is from personal experience as i always go to my closest friend john because he's always willing to give me hugs and support when i'm upset. i know you may not want to get help from people you're close too when you're feeling self destructive, but if they really do care about you, they'll support you no problem.
if you don't have someone to go to for support then i really don't know what to tell you as my depression isn't bad enough for me to be self destructive to the point where if i'm alone i'll do something to myself (anytime i do serous self destructive behavior it's for attention and i'm faking). all i can say is don't harm yourself, because like all violent actions it can become a very serious addiction. example being if you punch a pillow when you're mad you'll only get addicted to the feeling of violence it brings, same goes for cutting and the many reasons you'd do that in terms of satisfaction.
i hope someone else can help you more than i can, and good luck with your problem.
I started taking drugs in an attempt to control my emotions and have also started therapy but neither seem to be working.
Wait, you mean drugs or medication?
I went through episodes of major depression for many years. Confronting the reasons for your depression are important for a long term solution, but as far as short term goes, exercise can be a big one. I know it's hard to even find the motivation to get out of bed sometimes when you're down, but it really can be one of the best short term pick me ups. There is an end to the pain, and it doesn't have to be death. Hang in there, and if ya want to talk, shoot me a PM any time.
depression is a very difficult subject to write about because at least for me ( and I acknowledge that it's different for everyone) there seemed to be no good reason for it . and that's not something many people can understand. "why are you depressed when you have so many good things in your life?" Probably sounds very reasonable to people who haven't suffered from depression but i felt like they were just patronizing me .
you are depressed despite the good things in your life ... there existence has no bearing on how bad you feel .... and that's why communicating it to people who've never felt it is often mute .
Or at least that's how I felt/feel about it .
Anyway this book helped me when I was feeling down and my friend still claims it saved her life , so maybe give it a try ....
I don't believe mental illness exists.
I don't believe mental illness exists.
you'd be in the VERY small minority
As for the OP... it might take time with your therapist, and if the meds aren't working you may need to try another. I've been off and on several types over the last 25 years, and I finally found one that works really well...although the dosage had to be upped once. It takes time, and effort to "break even"
I've been dealing with a suicidal depression for about 8 months now, had no idea just how awful it was. I've been to the doctor, been seen daily by a support worker for a couple of weeks at the start, a mental health practioner and now counselling from a charity for young people.
It takes time for these things to really take affect, are your drugs perscibed or have you chosen them? It would be good to see an actual doctor if you haven't. There are also charities and government run support lines, I see your from the UK, the Samaritans are very helpful, they will listen to you and not judge you for anything, and depending on what part of the UK you in, there should be an NHS support line or mental health line you can call, I prefer the NHS number because they can access your records and you don't have to repeat yourself.
Please give either a call if your ever feeling really dark, but you don't need to be feeling suicidal to call, phone if you just want to chat or vent.
The other thing I recommend is make a change, learn something new, I've started learng Tai Chi and Southern Dragon Style Kung Fu as well hitting the gym a lot more than I did before, learning a new, interesting skill may help you feel better about yourself. I'm still nowhere near over it, I still fantasise about killing myself everyday, but at the same time I'm terrorfied at the end, I don't know if I'll ever get better but I'm not ready to give up just yet.
Ha, that's me just that I have one loving parent I don't want to hurt :D
I've been depressive since about 4 years, so probably not as long as you, huh?
If you have already decided that you don't want to hurt your parents then you might as well forget about commiting suicide, though I know the temptation can be strong sometimes.
And even if the depression does not go away completely it will at least become better, right?
At least in my case it was like that, this strong desire to kill myself, which I had daily at some point started to susbide.
I also said to myself at that time that there is no way this strong negative emotion will keep on forever, at some point I just didn't give a shit anymore, became apathetic.
Now I see life like a chore, for me it's like going to the gym. I don't like to go but I do it anyway.
What I'm trying to say is that your life is not unbearable, right?
I don't know for how long you have been depressed but I reckon that you aren't always it this state of heavy depression.
What helps me to distract me from sad thought is escapism :D
I flee from reality with games, anime and funny videos on the internet ^^
which also has it's downsides, of course(like fucking up university) but it really helps me! coping with these feelings...
or rather pushing them away because they always seem to come back at some point.
I can't help you lose this sadness because if I knew a solution I wouldn't be depressive myself ^^
And I doubt there's a universal solution anyway. Question whether the negative view of the world and your life you have now are really objective or just negative because the state you're in now.
Once you're out of this heavy depression think about what your life lacks and try to change that and if you can't do that at least spent the time you have on this world somewhat enjoyable. It isn't all that bad if you think about it.
Super Kami Guru:
The other thing I recommend is make a change, learn something new, I've started learng Tai Chi and Southern Dragon Style Kung Fu as well hitting the gym a lot more than I did before, learning a new, interesting skill may help you feel better about yourself.
That's also a great suggestion! It's embarrassing to admit but I always feel better when I look at my body in the mirror (>.<)
You see, going to the gym is the answer to feeling better about yourself! GO TO THE GYM!