So I moved into college yesterday and yesterday and today have been some basic safety classes, diversity seminars, actual classes start tomorrow.
But I'm just not feeling all of this. I'm feeling oddly lonely, sad, and closed off.
And its not like I've been hiding in my room. I've talked to people at some of the pre-class stuff, I've made it a point to meet people at meals, I know some of my floor mates, etc.
But I can't shake this "Meh" feeling.
I know some of it is obviously homesickness, I do miss my room and my folks (Not that I haven't spent time away from them but the idea that I won't see them for months brings out these feelings). But I know that's normal and I text my mother pretty normally.
I also keep in contact with my High School friends, texting them and talking to them on steam.
But I can't help but feel lonely, Like I'm a reject. (Which I know isn't true).
And the few people I got to know a bit here during the summer orientation are in the other dorm a half mile through the city.
I think part of it might be my roommate, He's a a nice guy and all but he came in and already knew people from his orientation and already spends a lot of his day out of the dorm room. I've met his kind before and I'm used to him, but being his roommate makes me feel oddly like I'm a total loser in comparison.
This all adds up and makes me feel oddly sad and lonely, worse than I think I've ever felt actually. The fact that I said goodbye to my grandfather for probably the last time ever before I left and having no anchors at all here probably doesn't help things.
So I guess I'm asking how do I deal with this?
There aren't many Orientation things per say Except for Karaoke last night, which I only went to briefly because it was freaking boring, and a comedian tonight which I'll go see but it's not exactly a "meet and greet" sort of thing to see a comedian.
I don't know, I feel overwhelmed, friendless, confused, and anxious all at once for the first time in my life. I don't have a friend to go see to get my mind off things and I haven't made a good group of friends like I did at summer orientation or like my roommate has.
Any advice at all?
Second day at college, met people but haven't made any friends that I can hang out with, not particularly anti-social but I am sort of shy (though normally I don't have a problem), miss home, miss my friends, miss my job, my roommate is on the path to be one of the most popular guys at school and I just feel lost, confused and sad through it all.
It's your first day! You haven't made new friends yet, but no matter how sociable you are you can't make friends in one freaking day. The first week is always kind of weird and many new students face similar problems. I think you will be fine once you settle in for a week or two.
Yeah, what you're going through is much more usual than unusual. Establish a routine, go to your classes, eat at the dining hall, maybe join a club or two, and you'll meet people in no time. Almost every other freshman is feeling what you're feeling right now. Enjoy the excitement of being in a new place and don't fret over what you don't have (yet).
Also, if your dorm has a lounge, hang out in the lounge. If it's a small dorm, consider bringing some multiplayer videogames to the lounge. Instant friends!
Wanna hear a story?
I have a classmate that has been in my class for 3 years, he still has no friends.
Seriously? Day fucking two? I'll put it this way: You just got accepted to an institution where you'll be surrounded pretty much 24/7 by people your age going through the exact same things. You'll be going to classes, eating, sleeping in the same building etc with a few thousand of your peers (not to mention there's generally more women than men at the university level). You'll have to go significantly out of your way to not make friends.
If you're already on pretty good terms with your roommate ask if he wants and do stuff with you. Clubs are also a really great way to make friends, join as many as you can fit in. If you're old enough to buy alcohol get some and put it out in your room with the door open and people will immediately materialize to help you drink it. As long as you're socially functional enough to not shit yourself and smear it on your face you'll make friends; in fact I'm pretty sure you could do that at a party and not hurt your reputation. Relax, take a deep breathe, talk to some of your friends back home, you'll be fine.
Yeah I was pretty devastated my first night alone when I moved into University accommodation. It was so far away and it wasn't like I would be back home in a month like my previous trips away.
I just got involved in whatever was going on, forced myself to strike up conversations with people and ended up with a few friends out of it. After that, experiencing new things with new people became a whole lot more exciting and then I fell into the routine of University life. It's not a fun transition but once you find your feet everything gets pretty awesome.
Thanks everybody the advice really helped :)
Take it from someone who was a freshman last year.
The friends you make during orientation tend to become acquaintances. People whom you had just enough similarities to that you buddied up. Most of the time, by the time college starts, you won't really click anymore.
My advice is to find people who you honestly can see hanging out with on a day to day basis.
That's what I did.
I went to all the events, and started chatting up with people in my art classes.
The friends I made as a freshman back then have now become my true friends in college. Now I never feel lonely.
I have friends back home to look forward to, and I also have friends in college to look forward to as well.
It's a great feeling, and something you really want to hold on to.
Will this get rid of the homesickness though?
Sadly, not really.
It will always stick with you to varying degrees. Some may never get over it at all. (Which is why out of country, or way out of state colleges need heavy considerations)
However as your time in college goes by you will slowly get used to all of it.
Give it a week or two.
Seriously, nobody gets friends in two days.
When classes start and you get to know your classmates better you'll make friends.
And your roommate being all popular and stuff, why not just enjoy his success? Make a friend of him and it will probably help you along as well.
I took me 2 months to start making friends, during those 2 months I was suddenly calling my family so much that the phone company assumed my phone had been stolen and cut it off :-)
Man these are the answers I needed in my thread!
I'm feeling the exact same way, expect we have nothing over in my campus!
How do you guys bond with roomates? Mines is not very talkative, but we are both gamers!
No events, no nothing!
On another note, I am living in one campus and studying in another. How effed up is that? Is this going to be an issue?
Really hoping to make friends, and have a blast, but right now, I am feeling so... confused.
If you both game, find out something to play together?
As for the campus thing, double up on friends.
Where you live; take some charge, arrange a cookout or something. The people you live with should be up for something. A ball game of some kind.
I don't know how it works where you are, but we have a bar at school that is open every Friday, almost all the different faculties have their own. Easy way to meet your peers.
Damn I can try to game with him, we only have acess to pc's though!
I split between two campuses, might be trouble.
The problem with my school is that I have no info! I dont know anything that is going on!
Well, my school has a mentoring program.
Hoopefully that gets me somewhere!
That's how it goes for basically everyone. It's not easy adjusting to a completely new style of living. I stayed in a lot my first semester too for the same reason: I didn't know anyone and I didn't know what to do or where to go to meet anyone. Building close friendships takes time: don't worry that you're not super-popular yet.
Just find something to do- anything -that doesn't involve spending all your time in your room, and you'll start meeting people.
My first several weeks as a fresher were isolating as hell, too. It happens to a lot of people, and they just don't have an outlet to express it, so most of them feel like they're the only ones in that situation-- which just makes the isolation worse.
All I can relate this to is my own experience; I felt isolated as hell for several weeks, but it lessened, and then disappeared as I met people naturally. Don't obsess.
Pick up smoking and make friends in the smoking section, that's what I did!
What that advice really means is the same as everyone else is saying, follow your interests and you'll meet people with enough in common that you can strike up a conversation. Make it a point to talk to people, and remember that especially early in the year, everyone's looking to make friends. Even if it goes against your nature, make yourself talk to your peers and you'll be happy that you did.