Dating Advice

take some, leave some.

I am really bad a dating, so I thought I could get help from all of you.

Tip #1

Don't get your dating advice from a random internet website

Seriously, you have no reason to believe that any of us will give you good advice. Nor for that matter that the vast majority of us are even able to give good advice on this particular topic

Heronblade:
Tip #1

Don't get your dating advice from a random internet website

Seriously, you have no reason to believe that any of us will give you good advice. Nor for that matter that the vast majority of us are even able to give good advice on this particular topic

While there are a fair number of self-proclaimed 'forever alone' people on this site, there are a number of others in healthy relationships. There's plenty that earnest faith in a place like this will reward you with. All you need to do is see the information through the proper lens.

That being said, you should endeavor to seek more eclectic advice, and be sure to treat it with a moderate portion of salt. None of us know who you are, and you don't know us. Advice is typically catered to context and many won't find topical advice of any use.

My first step when I find someone I want to ask out is to clean myself, my car and my house. This does well to not only be more presentable, but also may help the hart and mind to give this new opportunity the proper amount of attention. I find that putting work in before asking someone to take a closer look, makes asking them to do so a whole lot less stressful.

There may be some that say, "If you are a messy person you should not hide it from someone, just be yourself". My counter is yes messiness is an aspect of my personality, just as willingness to work and cleaning up real well are.

I really like that advice, Itdoes. You need to be in a good place before you can properly invite someone else into your life. This is not to say that your whole life must be squared away, but you generally want the necessities ironed out - stable living situation, gainful employment and/or studies, decent wardrobe, fitness and hygiene at relatively acceptable levels, no major financial or familial crisis, mental health in check, etc. If you're a mess, you have to focus on cleaning up your own act before you can think about dedicating time and resources to someone else's needs. No one is perfect, and most people have a few holes here and there, but you can't go into a relationship as a net drain (emotional, financial, or otherwise) and expect good things to happen.

Just be yourself and enjoy yourself. People wonder why dates go bad but often it's doing you a favour and saving you from relationships with people they end up hating.

If you fake it and pull someone it'll tell later down the line you were being fake, and if you're honest but put them off then it's saved you from hassle in the future.

It's only if your honest and things go well that you'll be truly happy, so don't over-think it and just be who you are.

Do something that YOU find incredibly fun. That way you'll show the best side of yourself and there's a good chance that it won't even matter whether your date likes where you took her or not. Within reason, ofcourse.

Now this advice is strictly on getting dates, because I'm apparently good at that! No idea how, but, what the hell? It's more keeping these relationships going that I find difficult because while I have dated 4 girls in the last 4 months (Technically 5 months but I was in London for some of that so it doesn't count), only one of those relationships lasted more than a month.

What advice can I give? Be friends with them first, at least for a couple of weeks so you know you're compatible. Secondly, be friends with their friends for the sole purpose of being able to find out what they think of you but never, ever, get someone to ask whoever it is out for you. And thirdly, most importantly, be fun!

If you're a heterosexual male looking to date a woman, read this book.

Other than that...

You don't truly know anyone until you live with them.

When you marry someone, you marry their family too.

Trust, but verify.

Feed yourself with experiences. Try to have personal projects, travel, meet places and people. Have genuine interest in other people. Make yourself valuable and interesting.

Just... do things.
Having something to share with others relieves a lot of the pressure of the talking part of a date.

Many friends I had that couldn't get dates were the kind of people would refuse to improve themselves, didn't want to do anything and wanted everyone to love them, even thought they were selfish, egocentrical and had nothing to say beyond themselves and the things that they did alone.

The only one I got is that you shouldn't treat a date as some sort of a "quest" with "objectives to accomplish", just a was of spending your leisure time.

 

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