The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

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"But hold on a god damn second, would you?" Ram said "Why do you all of a sudden attack us? I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you on our side?" Sam suddenly calmed down. Looking about him, as if he had just appeared. "Uh .. What happened?" Ram were suprised by this sudden change of mood "What you mean? You just told all these electronics to kill us" Ram answered "Yeah! And I was about to blast yo ass!" Splazor said while chombing down on the Cheerios they had recently found. "Splazor ... This is no time for snacks" Ram told the cat "But I was hungry. We should have entered a grocery store. You think there's any tuna around?" Splazor asked.

"Wait!" Sam said "Now I remember what happened. I saw a cheerios. And I grabbed it. And then it started speaking words .. I'm not sure what those were though." Sam finished "Something like 'your friends are not what you think they are, and you must destroy them right away'?" Splazor inquired. "Yes. Yes, that's what that voi- Oh shit! Run, ram!" they were just lucky enough to avoid splazor cat's lazer. And they knew they had to abandon their lost friend, for he had eaten the Cheerios of Foemanship.

As Splazor Cat saw is former friends run in terror, he thought to himself "heh .. 'run, ram' ... Funny"


In an apartment in New York City a man works dilligently on a painting. He has painted for hours and hours ingoring the needs to eat,sleep,and use the bathroom. He had finnaly finished and studyed the photo. He holds up the photo and asks himself "what could this mean?"

He knows that it is the key to figuring out what needs to be done.

Back in Isarel
The Isarelian army had cornered Splazor cat (Who should really start posting again.) and placed a diamond muzzel on him to stop his lazors. "*What do we do with it*" said a solider to his superior. "*This is a very rare very powerful cat. We will give it to the president adtr it is neutered of course*" A muffeld "WHAT!!" Came from Lazor cat after reading the subtitles to understand them.

*= Translated from Isrealan language.

"Hey, you can't neuter are friend! Even if he hasn't done much posting!" Ram cried, but was held down by the Israelian soldiers.
"*What do we do with the Man and Ram, sir?*" inquired one of the soldiers.
"*Hehe, Man, Ram...What? Oh, well, the man can of course be recruited. As for the Ram, take him to our farm..."
"WHAT? I will not be subjugated to be a lowly farm animal!"
"*He looks like a good stud to breed with our flock of goats.*"
"I mean, I will not be subjugated until I have seen this farm of yours. Could be a very nice farm, for all I know." Ram said, and began to follow the Israelian farmer.

<OK how many times am I gonna have to deal with this. Time for America to show why it's number one!> Sam went all Chuck on the Israelis asses: he flipped over their heads and beat them senseless in a flurry of movement. He freed Splazor after he had completely demolished the detachment and looked at Ram. "Well, what do we do now? I sense plot in another place, but nowhere near here."

In the New York apartment:
"It means, my friend that you're a lousy painter" a guy with indian ancestors walked up to the painter. The painter ran for the toilet, while grabbing a sandvich. From the toilet he spoke "But surely there must be some kind of deeper meaning to it! I didn't bypass all my needs to realize I was a lousy painter." the guy with indian ancestors walked closer to the bathroom. "Yes. Yes, there is a deeper meaning to it, but stop calling me 'Shirley' "

Back with our heroes:
"Oh no, you won't! SHOO DA WHO *Cough!* *Cough!*" the splazor cat coughed up a pile of hair. Among the hair the Cheerios was. "Whe- where am I?" Sam turned and smile. You're among friends now. Among friends that's going to get the hell away from here"

[Sup bitches?! I kinda have a problem with mah avatar, not much of a character I can make. Any ideas?(Besides change it]

"Exactly." Ram said, but with a little worry in his tone. He didn't have any magic for flying or teleporting. And he didn't think a portal would conviniently appear for them. "Unless..."
"Unless what? Why did you just stand there,for a minute?" Splazor Cat asked.
"Sorry, little inner-monolouge going. But I know how we can get out of here. We just need a deus ex machina!"

The heroes wandered to find this Deus Ex machina.

After a quick walk, they encountered a mass of people standing around a preacher. "Who's that?" Ram asked. "That's the Deus Ex representive" a Guilty Bystander asnwere

They stuck around to listen to his speech
"... That is what you must cherish! That is what you must worship. People who make sense. They are the true root of all good. And I am among them. I am a sense-maker! I make sense of what you can not! Wich is why you should worship me!"
"What did he say?" Ram asked
"I don't know" the Guilty Bystander responded
"I think he said we should worship the fence-makers. Those who make fences of what non other can" Splazor replied
"Hey, dude!" Sam shouted to the speaker "There's nothing big about being a fence-maker. My father was one .. Wait .. That's not good"

The Deus Ex representive looked at the newcomers. "You fools! I said you should worship the sense-makers. Those who make sense where no one can see it"
"What did he say?" Ram asked
"I don't know" the Guilty Bystander responded
"I think he said we should worship the lense-makers. Those who make lenses for those who can't see it" Splazor replied
"hey, dude!" Sam shouted to the speaker "There's no big deal about making lenses for people who have bad sight. And what you mean by 'it'? Wait .. I don't want to know

The Deus Ex representive still looked at the newcomers. "You fools! I said you should worship the sense-makers. Those who have quality has an ability"
"What did he say?" Ram asked
"I don't know" the Guilty Bystander responded
"I think he said we should worship the Benz-makers. Those who apply quality to their creations" Splazor replied
"Hey, dude!" Sam shouted to the speaker "There's nothing fancy about making quality cars. My mother joined Benz right before they had to be bought by Mercedes .... Wait .. Crap."

"I've had it!" the Deus Ex representive said. And with that, all the cars in the street transformed into robots, and they started shooting lazor towards the heroes. "What's up with all the transformer stuff?" Ram asked. "I told you .. Good access to Japan" Sam answered before Splazor Cat started laughing to himself "lazor .. He he"

"Psst, hey Ram! Ya! Over here!" whispered the talking bush, "Come here, I got something you might like!"

Ram walked over to the bush and looked around, "Who the hell said that?" he asked, "Hello? Anyone there??"

"Right here dumbass! The bush stupid!"

Ram looked down at Talking Bush,

"Uhhhh... you're a bush? And you can talk?"

"Damn straight! You need some help taking down those villains?"

"Now destroy the infedels my robtic followers. Destroy them and make them feel the wrath of the sense-makers." As the Transfromers batteled the heroes a man in a white cloak approached the representive. "Mayrlnn Mansion?" Said the Man. "Yes that is my name. Who are You?" "I am an Assaian. I have come to ask you one simple question if I do not get the anwser I want I will kill you." The representive takes a large gulp "W-w-what is the question?" "Where can I find one of those transformers? If I had one of those I would never have to worry about another annoying begger ever again." The preacher lets out a sigh of relif "In that case you can find them all over Japan." "Awww Japan I was going to go to Barcolona. Hang on let me check my schedule. Let's see after Spain I head over to london for a dance with the Queen,Washington D.C for the presidential ball and I guess I could squeeze in Tokyo on my way back. Now before I go I must follow the 4th rule of my creed. Unfortuantly if I told you I would have to kill you. But here you can read about it in our phanplet." The Preacher grabs the phanplet and scans down the rules of the creed until he reached number 4. "Thouh shall always stab them with the Pointy side. Pointy side of Wh-" The preacher had gotten his anwser. A sharp hidden blade had pierced his chest and the assaisn dissepeared.

"Sure mister magical Bush! But how can you possible help me?" Ram asked the strange bush, trying his hardest not to feast on it's delectable leaves.

"Uh... well... I'm not to sure." The Talking Bush stood up and walked around, "To be honest with ya, I am just kinda bored, looking for something to do."

"Oh, um. well...maybe you can control the power of nature? You know, using your branches and green, shiny...juicy, suculant leaves." Ram sighed, drool forming on his snout.

"Psh! I wish! Tried that already, I can't really do much... Oh!!! I can do this!" The Talking Bush shook and 5 berry grew on his leaves, "Tadaa!!!"

"Wow... thats it? Thats pretty pathetic Mr Bush." Ram ate some of the berries, "MMmm! These are tasty! Ever eaten one before?"

The Talking Bush popped a berry in his mouth, and began growing. He grew and grew until he was a mighty Evergreen Tree, standing at 30 stories high.

"COOL!" he bellowed.

"Alright, Mr.Evergeen! Take down those giant robots! in disguise!" cried Ram. As the giant tree made swipes at the robots, Ram charged their legs with a mighty head-butt.

HOLY SHIT!! bellowed Talking Evergreen Tree, I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THOSE ROBOTS!!

Talking Evergreen Tree ran at the robots, he picked two up and smashed them together. Using his roots, he crushed one of the robots.

One robot however, was rather cunning, he snuck behind the tree and cut the roots holding him down.

WHAT THE- TTTIIMMMMBBBEEERRRR!! he roared as he fell to the ground, crushing some of the robots.

GREAT, WHAT DO I DO NOW? asked Talking Evergreen Tree, face down on the ground.

"Do a barrel roll!" cried Ram, and he rammed into another robot's legs. This one fell right on top of a school. "Woo! Schools out!" cried the happy Isrealie children, but were then crushed by another falling robot.

Then more children came cheering about school being over.
"No!" a random man came screaming - he seemed like a teacher
"No! Just because school's over doesn't mean you should go to work. You should go to college!"
"What if I don't want to" Splazor replied
"Bah! Just go to fucking college, allright?"
"Wait .. Is that some kind of sex-education?" Ram asked "if so, tell me where to sign up!"
before the man could answer he was crushed by a big robot

"Hold on a god damn minute, guys!" there was a big robot standing above the Sense-maker's dead body "Look! Our leader is dead. Why are we still fighting his cause?"
"He's right" there was mumbling among the suvriving robots "He's dead" "I did not notice that" "Who do I fight for then?" "I'm hungry" "No you're not hungarian, you're Japanese!" " Where can I grab a smoke? I'm really dying for one" "Hey, it'll be a party at my place later. Anyone up for it?"

"Shush again!" the robot cried while standing in a heroical pose "I say we make new friends" "Yay! Friends!" a bunch of children gathered around the robot cheering "Hey. Aren't you kids supposed to be cheering for my speeches?" Ram asked confused "Screw you, man. You just dissapoint"

"Shush for the third time!" the robot cried while posing even more heroically
"Yay! Shu- Oh .." the kid silenced himself as soon as he realised his mistake

"I say we go to a café and talk with our new friends" "But sir! There's too far to the closest café!" "Well" the robot in charge responded "I say we ride the ram" "Yay! Ride the ram!" the children rooted "oh hell no!" Ram started running, following signs to find the nearest café "Follow him!" "Yay! Follow!" the children cheered, following the robots following ram.
"Heh .. Ride ram ... Funny ..." Splazor cat said before following the others

"Wait! Wait, guys!" the tree said without knowing they were gone. "psst! Barrel roll" "Good idea" and with that, the tree followed the heroes, robots and children


The Talking Evergreen Tree began slowly shrinking, he shrank and shrank until he was a bush again.

"HHmmm... well this sucks! Oh well, sometimes smaller is better anywho! I will eat some more berries later, for now, I could go for a latte!"

He caught up to the group and ran with them.

As the bush was running to catch up with the group he began feeling water sprinkle on top of.
"What the is it raining?" He looked up but saw no clouds he looked behind him and saw that a man was giving him a golden shower. "OH MY GOD! STOP URINATING ON ME RIGHT NOW!" All of the sudden he began to grow more arms and legs until he had 12 total limbs,6 legs and 6 arms. With his new arms he grab the man and began beating the shit out of him. Once the man layed in a pile of his own blood and then ran off to catch up with his friends.

"Awesome! Now I shall go by the name Slightly Larger Talking Bush!"

The group entered the cafe, they all ordered their drinks and sandwiches and sat down,

"So, uh... why did we come here again?" asked Slightly Larger Talking Bush.

" a good question." Ram said, while settling down to his Daffodile and Rum. "Let's just wait for something completely random to happen, thus giving us more wonderful adventures that will teach us the morals of life!"
The whole room looked at Ram. A few began to draw weapons from hidden places.
"...OR we can can piss-ass drunk and do some crazy shit till we get arrested!"
This got a quiet a few cheers. Everyone settled down for a good time.

The cafe turned into a warzone of druken animals,Bushes,and school children. In the morning Ram found himself in a strange bedroom "Where am I" He looked next to him and saw a fat cow (Literally). He gave an unaudible screamed and yelled "WHYYYYYYY!!". Sam the paladin woke upwearing a sailor suit and was on a giant chinese fishing boat. "Oh my god not again!"
The bush found himself in a cramped cupboared. "Where am i?" He opened the Cupboard and found himself inside a Apratment surronded with paintings. "You." Said the new york painter. "Your the one from the painting." The painter then took out a big painting. "That's suppose to be me it's just a big Green blob."

Splazor cat woke up somehwere in Spain. He stepped out of an ally and looked at his left leg. He saw a tatto that said I (Heart) Sandy. "Who the fuck is sandy" Said Splazor cat.

Samii the cow woke up to a horrible shreek. "What's wrong, what happened? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!" the confused cow aked the ram screaming next to her.

"AHHHHI WOKE UP NEXT TO YOU AHHHH!!!""" Ram continued so scream.
"So?" the cow asked.
Ram quieted down. "So, who are you then, and how'd you get here?"

"My name is Samii, and honestly I'm not even sure of where we are. Who are you and what happened last night?" The cow said sitting up on the bed.

"Hell if I know. One minute I'm in the bar, drinking a beer, playing darts with a Talking Bush on a school child, next thing I know I wake up with a cow." Ram looked over the wide haunches of the holstein. "A very...sultry cow, I might say." Ram said, arching his eyebrows.

Feeling slightly disturbed the cow covers with a blanket "What the hell is a Talking Bush? And who are you?"

"Who am I? WHO AM I?"
Ram jumped on a nearby rock, striking a heroic pose.
"I am the Great Warrior of the Thundar Tribe! I am the Protector of all things Good and Nice! I Am the Hero of Destiny! I..AM....RAM!!!"
Several children came through the door and gathered around Ram. They cheered weakly, some cringing at the noise.

"Does that always happen?" Samii asked while putting on her bell. "And where did they come from?" She asked pointing at the children.

"Oh, they were the ones in the bar with me. Hey little guys, do you know where we are?"
One of the little kids started babbling, then puked. "Oh dear, he must be speaking Isrealy. Or he's still drunk. Well, let's try exploring a bit, see if we can find any info on where we are."

"They were at the bar? What were you doing with little children, in a bar?!?" Samii enquired looking at the poor little children. "And I suppose I could come with you, I have nothing better to do." Samii said following Ram.

"Alright, let's try going down this hall..." Ram started, but stopped when he saw two little girls blocking their way.
Would you like to play with us, Mister? They said.
"Um, no thank you. We need to get going." Ram said, starting to back away.
YOU WILL PLAY WITH US! the twins screamed.
"Scuse me? No one tells me what to do, BI-ATCH!" Ram then charged the two twins.

"OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" Samii scream watching Ram charge after the two cute little girls.

The twins merged into one person a Sho Minamoto
"Heh, So Zetta SLOW!!! Ive been waiting for the goat to break the curse the damn composer put me under a few years back..." said Sho
"Umm okay then so who are you exacty? And btw im a ram not a goat!!" shouted the ram
"Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally, the names Sho Minamoto and im aiming to kill the composer of shibuya, problem is i dot know where i am, or who he factor you people are!"

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