Reality TV Series Video Game Edition - Exdeath's Reign

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"So," Ezio said, "I do not mean to be a burden, but are we going to get moving any time soon?"

"Ezio is right. The longer we sit around, the more time Exdeath has to get power," said Batman.

"If only I had the Apple of Eden," Ezio muttered.

"Yeah, well, I was kinda waiting for that Chinese prick to stop just standing there," Reisen pointed out to the other two. "If he's not actually going to start taking us to his boss, I don't really see the point in hanging around, though."

Tewi responded with."Prepare yourself, Narnia." As she dashed into the woods, prepared to fuck over an entire fantasy civilization.

Jing was then hidden away, in a barrel somewhere, napping.

Hearing Tewi's voice, Reisen immediately turned around, but her blood-sister was already out of sight into the woods. Damn it... Well, I know I won't be able to stop you screwing somebody over no matter what I do, she consoled herself. Just don't blame it on me, like you always do with Eirin. Not that you'll be able to, since I probably won't be around. Try not to get yourself executed on me...

Mokou scratched her skull, confused. "Narnia? Eh.. whatever. I like the woods better anyway." She ran in, after Tewi, keeping up with her. "We should get some timber for a fire" She said, as they were running.

Hoss Delgato was looking around at everyone around him. "Buncha freaks and weirdoes around here... Say, Girly boy, when do we get going? Hoss Delgato doesn't have all day."

Yukari was back home for the moment, Poking Kaguya's cheek repeatedly while she played on her computer. "Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Whatcha doing? What's that? Are you winning? Hey. Hey. Hey, listen. Hey. Neet. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Where's your rabbits? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Can I take the nurse? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey."

Reimu was slightly worried. She hadn't seen Yukari in a while, and while normally that wouldn't be a problem, something seemed different this time. Chen had told her that her master was here, and judging from the noise coming from Kaguya's room, she was probably right.

She slid the door open and looked around inside, catching a glimpse of a much-too-familiar face. "Hey! Yukari!" she called out. "Where've you been the last few days?"

Yukari stopped poking the NEET princess and looked to Reimu. She immediately tackled her like a football player, with a grunt, like a football player. "Reimu! It's been too long." she said, with a chuckle.

"Yeah, well," Reimu started in return while trying to get Yukari off, "I was a little worried about you as well, to be honest. Particularly after Nue dropped in and told me what was going on with you..." She shook her head. "Maybe it's just because I got the story second-hand off a particularly insane youkai, but it makes no sense at all to me. And before you ask, no, I didn't bring any sake."

"I see." Yukari said. "Then Allow me to demonstrate, so you just roominate, whilst I illuminate the whole Story." Suddenly, they fell into a gap, and landed in a big, purple cave. Yukari was suddenly a giant with a big smile.

She started pumping her shoulders to a Rhythm to a song that was playing in the background. "Well i was sleep-ing in my bed at home when all o'sudden i was pulled away. And I was slightly faint and full of steam, cause I was pulled away for another game. They needed some Boundaries in their Mixture now, some heavy ammunition in their land. They needed Punch, PIZAAZ, Yahoo and how, so all they had to do was pull me there, and i said.

'You foolish R-P-ers, what may your torture be? Let me take your lives and blot it out.' They ain't never seen a girl like me. HOHOHO. Life is my restaurant, and i buy everything! And then China wants us to follow her, but they ain't never seen a girl like me. Yes ma'am, i pride myself on trolling, I'm the Boss, The King, the Sha! And what I wish, it's mine, true dish! How 'bout a little more o' boundary fuuuuun! But Ex-death's got a scheme, A VERY nasty scheme! I wasn't in the mood, to help them, Dude. They ain't never seen a girl like me."
Two giant, gloved Yukari hands with little eyes drawn on them came down. as she danced in the middle of them. "Oowahahah!" "Mohmy!" "Wahahah!" "Nono!" "Wahahah!" "Nahahah!" "Zabazabazoobazow!"

"Can your girls do this? Can your girls do that? Can your girls pull this, out your silly boooooow?! Can your powers go FWOOO" Yukari spit a gap miasma at Reimu and then there were three Marisa's around her, flying on brooms. Yukari came down from the ceiling and pointed to them "Well, lookie here! Haha! Can your girls go Abra-Kadabra, let 'er rip, and then make the sucker disappear?!

So don't you sit there, Armpits, Miko-fied! I'm here to ruin all your midday prayers! You got me on your team and ally-fied, You got a Youkai for your Chare d'affaires. I got a powerful urge to beat you out! Wait, I don't think you heard that Right. What I meant was that i'll really help you out, so all you gotta do is blow a hoooole, into his stupid scheme, and give him shattered dreams.

So stop that pout, Let's help them out Cause they ain't never seen a girl, never seen a girl, they ain't never seen a girl, never seen a girl. they ain't Never. Seen a. girrrrrl, liiiike, meeeeeeeeeee! Hahaha! They ain't never seen a girl like me."

At the end of the song and dance routine, Yukari poofed back in front of Reimu, both of them now in an extensive study, on couches, with the words "Applaude" Above her head in purple letters. Not even aware that she barely explained anything at all, and more when on a long tangent about how she'd beat everyone to death and Reimu was gonna help. "So, did that help?"

"Heym Rabbit eared idiot who called me a prick a little bit ago, I think you had better start giving me the damn respect I deserve-aru." China snapped, "I haven't been on this world for five-thousand years to be talked to with such disrespect!" He calmed himself down a little be, "Anyway, here we are." He said, as he pointed to the ginormous mansion in front of them, "Russia's house."

Russia looked outside a window, "Oh hey, look, fresh meat." He said to himself, "It was a about time China showed up. I was actually about to go looking for him. Suddenly, he was pushed out a window by a shadowy figure that only he could describe, and he landed right on China right as he was about to walk inside, "...Oh hello China."

"Bones...Crushing....off....aru..." China could barely mumble out. Russia got off him and stood up, as he looked at everyone with a smile. China got up not long after, "Ow...What happened up there?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, a visitor wearing a plaid red skirt and vest with a white shirt underneath and a flower-like umbrella pushed me out it just because she could.. She comes every spring.

China dusted himself off, and the gave Russia a weird look, "Uhm...Okay..." Everything was fine...Until another person landed on him. This person was small, about the size of a small child. She held a cannon as a weapon, and have a sack of cannonballs on her back, it was, again, Tristana, "Ooops...Sorry, overjumped, over those trees. I didn't even know where I was going." She apologized.

"Bones...Crushed...off...aru..."

Batman turned around. "I think I just heard a musical number,"he said.

"It's just the wind," Ezio said. "Good afternoon, messer Russia. He jumped a bit when Tristana landed. "Who are you?" he asked, bewildered.

"Um...No?" Reimu replied, head cocked to one side. "The story itself is almost impossible to believe, and Nue's version made a lot more sense." She looked over to Kaguya, who she'd forgotten wasn't there any more, and back to Yukari again. "Also, what was with the song?"

Right on cue, a voice blared loudly from nowhere:

"...Riiiiiiight. That was about as helpful as the song." Shrugging and sighing, she looked back at Yukari. "So when do we leave?"

Back in Exdeath's Realm...

Reisen cocked her head at China again. "Respect? You don't seem to get it off anything else in existence," she pointed out. "Then again...Maybe 'prick' was out of line." She scratched behind her ear again. "Never mind. I thought you'd died there or something."

Yukari rolled her eyes, with a smile. "Fine, fine. I was laying in bed at home, when I got pulled back to that place I went to that time about a month and a half a- I mean, a year ago, when there was that inter-dimensional fusion and some guy named Girugamesh wanted me and a bunch of other guys to help some guy named Ex-Death or something find his void shards so he could get his powers back, and then this weird girl claiming to be the living embodiment of the country, China, came in and said she wanted to take us to see her boss and Russia, who I can only assume is another "Country". Ex-Death kicked me out of a very comfortaable bed twice now and I want to beat his skull in for it." She leaned forward on her chair and laid her chin on a finger pyramid. "Do you wanna help? He sounds like he's up to no good~" Yukari's smile was wide and devious, and che chuckled, darkly, shortly after.

Hoss Delgato's mechanical hand retracted into his arm and out popped an automatic rifle, which he then pointed at Tristana. "Freeze, monster scum. Step away from the girly man you're on top of."

Mokou spotted something as Tewi and her were running and quickly grabbed Tewi's dress, jerking her back towards her. She squinted to get a closer look. "Is that... A wardrobe?" She said.

Reimu just shrugged at this explanation. "Now that you mention it," she said, "this sounds more like a problem for you than for us. That Exdeath guy only wronged you, so if you want to get revenge, go right ahead." She stood up. "But until he actually threatens Gensokyo, it isn't my problem." She started looking for a way out, thinking to herself, Then again, we haven't had an incident in a while...I have a bad feeling that something is about to break the monotony. But I've never been one to be proactive.

Yukari chuckled. "You forget who you're talking to, Reimu~ How easy do you think it would be for me to bring an incident around here? Not very hard at all, really. Plus, this Ex-Death fellow is the one who re-separated all the dimensions a while back after they were fused a year ago. With that kind of power, and these void shards of his, he might destroy us."

Reimu cocked her head sideways. "I don't remember anything like that ever happening..." You should probably go hibernate more, if you're having ideas like that, she continued silently. Out loud, she pushed the topic back to Exdeath. "I think the first time you were woken up, it had to have been an accident. Nobody is able to pull you through the Border on purpose. That's why I don't think it's likely he's able to come here of his own accord."

She sighed again, knowing that none of it would probably get through. "You want help with this guy? If the last few incidents are any judge of this, you'll be more likely to get help from Marisa or Sanae." And let's face it, with Sanae gone, nobody'll be able to fight me over faith, or donations, for a while. "I'm not going to get involved in this until you usually would." Just in case Yukari pressed the issue, or took offense, Reimu slowly reached into a pocket, leaving her hand in there.

Yukari chuckled. "I had a feeling that you would say that, so I have a trump card." She chuckles. "Would you like to see what the powers that be say about your assistance?~"

Reimu shook her head and sighed with exasperation. "Look, Yukari. You're crazier than usual. I think it's sleep deprivation. Go back to bed already." Her hand stayed in the pocket.

Yukari frowned a bit. "Awwww... but don't you want to see why in about three more posts from leet_x1337, you'll be at City 17 with me?~"

"I'm seriously worried about you here, Yukari," Reimu mumbled. "Who are all these people you keep talking about?" And don't think that I'm not prepared to smack the crazy out of you. Using one finger, she started tracing a kanji onto the object in her pocket. Coincidentally, the character was part of her name... Whether I have to use this on Yukari, or keep it primed for whatever she sticks in front of me, I'll be ready.

Yukari rolled her eyes and opened a gap. The gap showed a few of the most recent posts, even the words and thoughts Reimu just said, and Yukari's musical number. "Do you see those? If you do, read them."

Reimu quickly scanned all the tiny, English text and the strangely repeating pictures, then looked back at Yukari. "So, you learned how to draw Youmu, imitate other people's abilities and remember everything that's just happened," she looked down at the pocket with the unfinished spell card, "including stuff you shouldn't have seen. The point being?"

Yukari rolled her eyes. "Oh Reimu, always having to make things difficult. You honestly believe I would waste my time learning how to draw Youmu when I could have been sleeping? Or writing all that out in English? And Yes, I should be hibernating right now. Why do you think I'm not? Wouldn't you think by the fact that I'm NOT hibernating, there's a problem? Or should I show you a bit more?"

Reimu just shook her head again, leaving the card ready for use. "If I did, it'd probably just involve more random people I don't know and that you probably made up. Like I said, if you want someone to deal with the incident or believe your stories, ask one of the other humans around here." She jerked her thumb at the sky and continued, "Heck, you could even use the half-breed for all I care."

Yukari sighed. "Well that's just too bad. I guess i'll just-" She interrupted herself as she made both her and Reimu fall into a gap into City 17. the gap quickly closed itself. "Oh look, we're already here. Well, you might as well help~" She chuckled.

"Eh, right." She jumped off China and onto the ground, and when she was about to answer Batman's question nicely, a rifle was pointed at her face. She laughed a bit, "Buddy, that's knot a gun." She said, before holding her cannon up triumphantly, "THIS, is a gun. Now can I answer the nice man in a skin tight bat costume's question?"

She then hopped around to Batman, "Anyways, My names Tristana, and I'm part of Bandle City's Special Forces. More specifically, I'm the gunner of the Megling Commandos. Maybe ya heard of them, they are pretty popular." She said, bragging a bit with that last part.

"Um, excuse me everyone. I have yet to introduce myself and I think it would be a good thing for me to do, seeing as I am going to command each and everyone of you here." Russia said in a soft russian voice, "My name is Russia. yes, the country. I enjoy vodka, sunflowers, and watching my opponents beg for mercy as I crush and conquer them. And since we will all be in the same places with each other most of the time, I think it will be a good idea to tell you all of a dark secret I was hiding from the other nations, before I was warped here. You see, whenever I look into each of your stupid faces...I think of how fun it will be to pound you all into dust once all of this is over." A dark, purple, ominous aura appeared to surround Russia's head, and at the same time, he began muttering, "kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol~"

"Nobody else is here..." Reimu pointed out. "If you were going to do this, you could at least have found someone else to help do this!" By this point, her hand was out of her pocket and the spell card had gone onto standby. "Heck, I'd even have taken a guy I don't know yet, even if he had a ridiculous name like Minamimoto and a fetish for numbers!"
~
Reisen just stared, pupils contracted. "I'm totally useless here," she mumbled. "This guy must have stared for hours..."

Hoss's eyes just popped open with a monkey screech sound effect in the background as he saw Tristana's gun. "Holy monkies..." But before he could make a rebuttal, Russia started talking to them. "...Creepy."

Yukari chuckled. "There are people here, just where they are is the question. They're not too far." She looked around until she found a multitude of footprints in the snow. "Oh look~ They went this way~ C'mon, Reimu~" She grabbed Reiu's Yellow neck-bow and dragged her along with her.

Reimu's pupils also contracted a bit after she started being dragged by the neck, but eventually she managed to just get to an 'neutral' look. You're a lot different to how you were last time we actually worked together on something... she thought. Can't believe it's almost been two years since the endless night. People change, I know, but this is a little more drastic than I'd expect from anyone. Particularly you... The thinking kept her mind off how damp her butt was getting from being dragged through the snow.

Yukari lifted Reimu off the ground and back onto her feet. "We can fly, if you'd rather, but we'd have to stay low to the ground, otherwise, we might lose track of the footprints." She said. "So what happened with that last incident? I saw one or two ufo toys floating around."

Reimu shrugged. "I dunno," she admitted. "I would have gone after a much larger ship I saw, but Marisa and Sanae were already on it, and I figured I'd just be redundant. Besides, at the time, I'd fallen behind Sanae and Kanako, so I spent all of that time trying to pull in their lead while their human miko was busy with the ship." She looked around, as if hoping nobody else was watching, then continued, "The last incident I handled myself was when that angel bitch tried to wreck the shrine. Everything else, either hasn't been interesting or someone else got there before me."

She started taking a few steps back. "You mind? It seems a little harder to get off the ground here, and I'm not exactly the best flyer ever...I might need a run-up."

Yukari stepped over to the side, stepping into the air as if it were stairs as she does. "Be my guest~"

"I can already tell I'm going to regret doing this," Reimu sighed. After that, she started running forward, arms outstretched as the familiar feeling of slowly gaining altitude coursed through her body. She bent her neck slightly upwards to make sure the footprints didn't suddenly turn. What she meant by regretting was that this meant she wouldn't be able to watch what Yukari was doing...

Yukari did nothing to impede Reimu from taking off into the sky, only smiled at her.

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