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Pappytech	316 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 00:29
	>Chas: You make some HARD-BROILED CANDY CORN! The horrible taste of candy corn combined with the bland colors of the HARD-BROILED BUSINESS SUIT. Bleh. -4 Build Grist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Greg: Dirk's house is starting to look better. You're really getting the hang of this. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Dirk: As you turn back the POCKET WATCH one hour, it seems to change a bit. Upon closer examination, the POCKET WATCH seems a bit less scratched. Probably just your imagination. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Xavier: You made the LEATHERFACE KNIFE! A chainsaw with knives stuck on it. Looks pretty badass, but sadly it's technically a chainsaw. -30 Build Grist, -15 Amber Grist.

WafflesandBacon	317 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 00:47
	> Xavier: Examine new weapon I do so. What the fuck is this shit?You were hoping for a handheld chainsaw, not this bullshit! You take that back, its pretty damn badass, you just don't like chainsaws, to large and clunky and when its out of gas you're just fucked. But you digress. > Xavier: Consult with your sprite You yell for your Teddysprite.

Nitemare18	318 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 00:59
	>Greg:Build Dirk's House up. Well atleast nothing bad has happened to bother you yet.At this rate you should be done soon. Of course as you say that you feel something move across your leg.You look down and see the CAT sitting at the foot of your CHAIR.You sigh.You do hope that your MOTHER will come to collect him eventually.Better with HER then being here with you.Much safer that way for the CAT. Oh well,back to building.

Benndak	319 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 01:38
	>Chas: 8_8 You're...uh. Wow. >Chas: Make the ultimate sacrifice. You tuck your CANDY CORN back into your hat. This CANDY CORN -is- pretty HARD-BROILED. You begin to reflect on what has brought you to this point. All the sweat and toil you have put into the past few hours, all the work you have put into forming your leaderly web of intrigue, all the charts. All of them. This would probably be a long, drawn out reflection, but it's pretty much just an internal monologue, nothing much to write home about. Certainly nothing to write three paragraphs on. The point is, you are prepared to make THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. To follow in your FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS. To fulfill your DESTINY. >Chas: Eat the hard-broiled candy corn.. BLUH Actually, it's really not all that bad. Not that good either. Perfectly bland. You feel incredibly neutral inside. No strong empowering feelings one way or the other. >Chas: Be Troll-Napoleon. With hard-boiled leadership refreshed in your veins, and fully reinforced that you are following in your FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS, you decide to wrap this all up and check in on your CO-LEADER. Show Pesterlog Okay, in all honesty, despite your best corporate instinct you probably couldn't go and kill Xavier. Not when you're the GLORIOUS LEADER. You can sort of picture giving DIRK the SHITTY TRICOLOR CANDY CORN SUIT right now, though. You give it a small hard-boiled snarky chuckle. It would certainly help alleviate the hard case of SAPPY BULLSHIT your friendship has at the moment. The true shows of BRODOM are RIDICULOUSLY SICK BURNS and HILARIOUS ANTICS. For now, your excitement must be contained. You have to wait for the DROOG SUIT, after which you will combine it with your HARD-BROILED BUSINESS SUIT as an ALTERNATE ATTIRE. Only badasses have ALTERNATE ATTIRES. It is truly a fact of life.

Pappytech	320 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:01
	>Xavier: TEDDYSPRITE responds to your summons, exiting the house. He seems surprised to see the results of your battle. At least, as surprised as a Oprah/Mutant Teddy-bear hybrid can look. Your FATHER is breathing hard, but he seems alright. He walks off, muttering about being out of shape. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Greg: Despite your wishes, your MOTHER does not appear to take care of Perrywinkle. Looks like you're stuck with the cat for now. On the plus side, it looks like your construction work has allowed Dirk's house to almost reach his First Gate! You're almost done. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: Your ULTIMATE SACRIFICE has not been in vain. The HARD-BROILED CANDY CORN heals your HEALTH VIAL to 125%! You didn't even know it could go that high! You feel the ground begin to shake again. Uh oh. Sounds like your wish for a higher kill-count is about to be granted.

Benndak	321 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:15
	>Chas: Huh? You reach over your head, slowly moving your right hand down your HEALTH VIAL. There's the boundary, same as ever, but you feel something below it. You bring your left hand up, and sure enough, that's an extra 1/4 of a VIAL. Forking sweet! Just in time, too. The ground shakes and it looks like more OGRES are on the way. Last time, your GRANDFATHER and your SUIT protected you from the worst of the beating, but this time...this time the scales are a little different. One one hand, there's more ogres. On the other hand, you have LASER EYES. >Chas: Greet them. You set the BRIEFCASE COMPUTER down, BUSINESSWALK outside, and observe the ogres. And by "observe" you mean "laser the fork out of." STRIFE!

CJ1145	322 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:26
	>Dirk: Remain intrigued Wait, this WATCH definitely changed. You are almost certain of it. You decide, out of curiosity, to set it back another TWO HOURS to see what happens.

Pappytech	323 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:40
	>Chas: You go outside to observe five OGRES, along with a small horde of IMPS, assaulting your home. Hey, that's the same number of OGRES you were bragging to Xavier about taming and having them carry you around! Oh, the irony! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Dirk: Winding the POCKET WATCH back even further causes it to rapidly lose most of the damage done to it. Most of the scratches fade away, although the POCKET WATCH still remains rusted. It continues to tick forward.

Nitemare18	324 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:46
	>Greg:Finish Building Your at the home stretch of building.Never let it be said that you don't put your friends before yourself. You hope that that will keep Dirk busy for awhile so that you can go mess around with the ALCHEMITER.Woot.

Benndak	325 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 02:57
	>Chas: Do it. You didn't come prepared for nothing, see. You're the best SLEUTH this side of the goddamn world and you'll be damned if you let a case like this get away from you after all this. Not after you ate the CANDY CORN. Under no circumstances do you eat the CANDY CORN, but you ate it anyway. Not after what they did to WILL SMITH. Not after what they did to GREG's SANITY. You check your ONE-LINER LEADERCHART. This baby has one wavelength - DIE. With that, you unleash a full X2 LASER COMBO with your MINIATURE TRIDENT and LASERFACE on the OGRES.

Pappytech	326 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 03:09
	>Greg: Greg's house now reaches the First Gate! Alright. It also looks like Rich has deployed the Punch Designix. Time to mess around. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: Your X2 LASER COMBO takes down one of the OGRES, before the others notice you. You manage to bring another one down before they begin attacking you. You're probably gonna need some help on this one.

Benndak	327 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 03:19
	>Chas: Strategic redeployment! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT uh uh oh fork what to say gotta be hard-boiled about this hate to laser and r-run You GET THE FUCK OUT to the ROOF. >Chas: Professional self-comfort! Damnit, that's right! You're neck-and-neck with XAVIER'S kill count! You remind yourself of your PROFESSIONALISM, and you cool down a little bit. Your oft-neglected BUSCEMI METER gets a much-needed boost. Still, if you're going to make a LAST STAND on the ROOF, you're not going to do it alone. GRANDPAAA You even throw in a little bit of your LASER LIGHT SHOW with the cry for help, because you still like doing that. Additionally, you pull out the ALTERNIAN BATTLE TRIDENT, still technically a fork, to maximize your close-combat powers. That AXE isn't so SHITTY now, is it?

CJ1145	328 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 03:45
	>Dirk: Admire time watch OK, you are now officially holding some sort of crazy TIME WATCH. But it is still UTTER SHIT. What use is this to you? All it does it fix itself then slowly get the crap knocked out of it. You decide to ask KAMINASPRITE about it in a bit, but first you determine to work on Chas' HOUSE. You have been way too easily distracted from that today. You sit down at your COMPUTER and get to work on building, refusing to let anything whatsoever interrupt you. >Dirk: Get the lowdown on Chas, build up

Nitemare18	329 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 04:05
	>Greg:Done with House. You are finally done with Dirk's house.You give it one more check to make sure.Yep your done. Now time to go ALCHEMIZE some stuff.But first you grab some more RANDOM BOOKS from among the SURVIVORS.You also,after a second,grab the remains of the COMPLETE BUSINESS ETIQUETTE HANDBOOK from the pile in the corner. Checking to make sure you have a wide selection of BOOKS,you head down to the KITCHEN.On your way past the DOOR you remember to grab your KNIGHT'S SWORD,though somewhat reluctantly. You find the new device waiting for you...and that your KITCHEN seems to be bigger then it was before.Oh well,you will worry about that later.Time to make stuff.Or to attempt to make stuff anyway.But first you will make a test item.And you think you have an idea what. You take the CARDS with the COMPLETE BUSINESS ETIQUETTE HANDBOOK and your PLAIN WHITE TEE,which you forgot you stuck in your BACKPACK MODUS,in them and begin the process of making an ITEM. This is exciting!

Pappytech	330 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 04:24
	>Chas: GRANDPASPRITE responds to your summons. Show Spritelog GRANDPASPRITE is able to spread chaos throughout the enemy ranks with his persuasive abilities, allowing you to rain HELL-LASERS down upon them. You leap into the fray, dealing massive damage with your handheld weapons as well as your EYE-LASERS. The opposing army, despite all their scarves, wrenches, teddy-bear ears and fangs, damage-resistant dummy parts, and robotic enhancements, are no match for your X2 ALDER COMBO. You level up! Level 14 Door-to-door Rookie! You gain an unprecedented number of Boondollars! You now have an entire Boonbuck (Equivlent to 1,000,000 Boondollars)! +1276 Build Grist, +982 Chalk Grist, +845 Amber Grist, + 844 Shale Grist, + 673 Tar Grist, + 243 Rust Grist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Dirk: You get to your computer just in time to witness the X2 ALDER COMBO. It is pretty awesome. Looks like Chas has earned enough Grist for you to build a lot of stuff. Time to get started. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Greg: You create the BUSINESS-CASUAL TEE! Are you wearing a business suit, or an ordinary tee shirt? No one knows! -5 Build Grist, -2 Shale.

Benndak	331 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 04:38
	>Chas: Cry. Today is a very, very special day. Not because the EARTH was destroyed. Not because you found out aliens were real. Not because you just took XAVIER'S killcount and beat it to death with its own ass. Not even because you earned laser eyes for all your work. No, today, the sixteenth of July, was the day the next young Alder earned his first BOONBUCK. You give GRANDPASPRITE a businesslike HANDSHAKE. You're a man now. And real men cry. You let loose a few tears of joy. This is your MEDIUM. You own this town. You made it what it is. You inhale a bit of its INTERNET-rich air a safe distance away from OGRE ash. It's beautiful. Life is beautiful. Fuck you hope someone saw you do that.

Nitemare18	332 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 04:57
	>Greg:Create more items. Success!You have created your first item!Granted you doubt you will ever wear it but hey thats what tests are for.Before you continue however you think now would be a good idea to take stock of your INVERNTORY BACKPACK MODUS Man,that sure is alot of books but hey you love reading!Now time to make something else.But first you try to make four extra cards CARDS,two extra DECK OF 52 and two extra KNIGHT'S SWORD. But first,pester time! Show Pesterlog Well that was a very fulfilling conversation.But anyway back to making things! FOUR EXTRA CATCHALOGUE CARDS=PCHOOOOOOOO TWO EXTRA DECK OF 52=PCHOOOOOOOO TWO EXTRA KNIGHT'S SWORD=PCHOOOOOOOO OOC

Pappytech	333 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 12:34
	>Chas: As you take a quick glance around, you notice a severe lack of enemies. Looks like they might be all gone for now. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Greg: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH! You create 4 more CAPTCHALOUGUE CARDS! -4 Build Grist. You create 2 DECKS OF 52! -2 Chalk Grist. You create 2 KNIGHT'S SWORDS! -60 Build Grist, -20 Amber Grist. As you finish your alchemy, you notice a few IMPS scurrying around in the corner of your eye. After your last battle, they seem to be focusing more on sneak-attacks than outright combat with you.

WafflesandBacon	334 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 14:00
	> Xavier: Be kinda freaked out I do so. Your sprite is kinda creepy up close... > Xavier: Flip the fuck out Nah, you're good. Its not that bad. > Xavier: Consult with your sprite Show Spritelog

CJ1145	335 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 14:30
	>Dirk: Build! Further up! You take a look at the controls, and they seem PRETTY SIMPLE. You can make LADDERS or STAIRS. You briefly consider being a TOTAL ASSHAT and using one giant ladder up to the gate, but that would be a bit much. You instead begin making a SPIRALING STAIRCASE, every two floors' worth stopping to make a PLATFORM for CHAS to rest on. With all your GRIST, you expect to be done with the first SITTING. Then you are going to go get that SUIT, and then find the most outlandish way possible to outdo Chas' own KILL COUNT.

Pappytech	336 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 14:54
	>Xavier: TEDDYSPRITE growls at you. Well, you guess that answers that question. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Dirk: You make good progress on Chas' house. Looks like you'll be done soon.

WafflesandBacon	337 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:17
	> Xavier: Become enraged GODDAMMIT SPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE! > Xavier: First, switch the cards, then alchemize I do both. This better work!

Benndak	338 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:22
	>Chas: Observe. Looks like DIRK is building up your HOUSE, at long last. You figure he saw your incredibly badass killing spree, but is way too JEALOUS or OVERWHELMED WITH SUBORDINATE FEELINGS to bring it up. He definitely saw it, though. You can smell his awe. It smells good. Why didn't he just build a GIANT LADDER up? It's not like you can't handle it. What a TOTAL ASSHAT. You told him about stairs.

Pappytech	339 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:29
	>Xavier: You retry your previous alchemization, except swapping the positions of the CHAINSAW and BUTCHER'S KNIFE. You create the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASA-DAGGER! -50 Build Grist, -15 Amber, -30 Shale. OOC ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: IT KEEPS HAPPENING!

CJ1145	340 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:36
	>Dirk: Finish up the house You continue to build, the ease of which is rather startling. You really thought this would take some time, but with endless GRIST this is going pretty fast. Just before you finish, you spot CHAS down there, GLOATING. He thinks he's so great, wait until your kickass ARSENAL rips the BLACK KING a new one. Just to prove you're not JEALOUS IN THE SLIGHTEST, you casually toss down his GRISTTORRENT DISK, intentionally making it almost fall off the cliff, but in reality it was in no danger of doing so. You then get back to WORK on BUILDING. You want to finish quick so you can ALCHEMIZE your newest BATMAN based weaponry.

Benndak	341 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:41
	>Chas: SWEET CATCH! You totally leap into the air and save that falling GRISTTORRENT DISK. Man, what a shitty throw. He didn't even clear the cliff. You smack it into your BRIEFCASE COMPUTER, and put some of that SPARE TWO FORKING MILLION to use. You really shouldn't even bother with getting GRIST for yourself at this point. You simply cannot be beaten in a GRIST-OFF.

Pappytech	342 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:52
	>Dirk: You decide that making some BATMAN based weaponry would be pretty awesome. You want to get to that as quick as possible. You manage to complete your SPIRALING STAIRCASE, it now reaches up to the First Gate! Man, that's a lot of stairs. Oh well, you're sure Chas will be fine. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: As you install GRISTTORRENT on your new computer, you begin to leech Build Grist from Connor's massive supply. You pretty much have more Grist than anyone else of any other kind though, so you don't get anything there. You also notice that Dirk is using his copy of GRISTTORRENT to take some of your Grist. You've still got plenty left though.

CJ1145	343 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 15:59
	>Dirk: Go BATMAN IT UP You take the code that CHAS gave you and ALCHEMIZE the CD CASE for TIM BURTON'S BATMAN. The CAPED CRUSADER'S LOGO is imprinted on the front. You drop the POCKET WATCH to the floor and place it in your BOBOBO CARD, and then PUNCH IT. You then grab your PUNCHED KAMINA'S SHADES CARD and combine them. You are certain your intention was obvious. "Please be SHADE BATARANGS please be SHADE BATARANGS."

WafflesandBacon	344 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 16:03
	> Xavier: Observe your new weapon Oh, my, GOD! > [S] Xavier: Sing a song to praise it "Teee-eeee-eeeeeee-eeeee-eeeeeeeexas! Chaaaaaaa-aaaaaa-aaaaaAAAAAinsaw! Maaaaaaasssssaaaaaa-Daaaaaaaa-aaaaager!" You would sing if this thread had sound. > Wait. Masa-Dagger? > Xavier: Laugh at your weapons name You want to, you REALLY want to, but you cannot. > ===> In the back of your mind, you fear that if you laugh or say any bad thing about the name, an enity will strike you down. An enity like a God or a monster...Or a GodMonster. Whatever it is, you really don't wanna go pissing it off.

Benndak	345 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 16:12
	OOC >Chas: Be a useless piece of shit all day long. Ha, ha. Real funny. These stairs aren't completely worthless. >Chas: [S] Ascend. You begin your long CLIMB to the FIRST GATE. No time for rest stops. Okay, maybe one or two rest stops. Fucking stairs. At last you make it to the new ROOF. Above you is the SPIROGRAPH IN THE SKY, the FIRST GATE. From here, you will begin your true QUEST, but you don't really have a very good grip on what's coming next. You give yourself a reassuring NOD as you nervously step forward, and take the plunge. Or maybe it's a leap. Whatever. GAAATE

Connor Lonske	346 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 17:47
	>Connor: What have you been fucking doing since I last to you what to do!? You have been playing Super Mario Crossover on your dad's laptop. OK, maybe it's time to talk to him. >Connor:Check time until impact.

Pappytech	347 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 18:49
	>Dirk: Fine. You create the SHADE BATARANG! Now you can use boomerangs shaped like Kamina's glasses! This seems incredibly impractical, but somehow awesome. -2 Build Grist, -2 Shale. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Xavier: The GODMONSTER is not pissed off. It takes a lot to piss off the GODMONSTER. Neither you or any of your friends have done anything to piss off the GODMONSTER. But, if you do piss off the GODMONSTER, you will know. You will know. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: You have entered the Land of Suns and Stainless Steel. It's a mostly flat planet, with the occasional hill or river. However, it has two very obvious attributes. The first is the massive number of steel tubes growing from the earth. They seem to mostly appear in large groups, very close to one another. As the wind blows through them, they resonate against each other, creating a gentle, tinging sound. The other attribute is the sheer number of stars in the sky. Everywhere you look, you can see stars, albeit dim ones. They appear to be the planet's primary light source, casing the entire world in a shade of twilight. It is a beautiful world. You glance around. Directly behind you, you see a massive spire of rock jutting into the air. It looks like that's where your house is situated, along with GRANDPASPRITE and all your machines. You should be able to travel back through the First Gate to reach them again. You also note the numerous enemy forces around you. They don't seem to be paying particularly close attention to you; they're up to mischievous activities. Drawing graffiti, tearing up some of the steel poles, etc. You can see a group of IMPS terrorizing a group of lizard-like creatures. Finally, around the First Gate, you see signs of battle. Scratches on the ground and rocks, forks and knives embedded in the spire behind you, and Grist littering the ground. Looks like your FATHER was taken this way. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Connor: Wow, that was one absorbing game session! You completly forgot about your IMMINENT DEATH BY METEORS. You check the CRUXTRUDER TIMER, and see that you have 30:24 left. You also check your CRUXTRITE PERMISSION SLIP. It says it needs to be signed by a parent. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC/Bad News

WafflesandBacon	348 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 19:00
	> Xavier: Shrug You were just being precautious. > Xavier: Stop doing things and continue your forking alchemy binge! I alchemize my DEADPOOL POSTER and my CURRENT CLOTHES.

Benndak	349 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 19:20
	OOC >Chas: Observe Land. Woah. Holy shit. It's absolutely gorgeous. You take a moment to survey your surroundings, but are sort of lost in listening to the naturally-formed wind chimes. When GRANDPASPRITE told you you were going to have a heroic land, he wasn't kidding. You could live here. In fact, you technically do. Damn, this is cool. >Chas: Be the hero. You notice several items of interest - at first, you prepare to intervene as the IMPS terrorize those oddly friendly-looking lizards, but suddenly your eyes fall upon a GRIST-littered path. You smell a familiar smell. Silverware polisher. Indeed, the path is strewn with CUTLERY. You pick up whatever grist you find, and having entirely forgotten the LIZARDS, you follow what is almost certainly your FATHER'S TRAIL with reckless abandon, and laser eyes.

Pappytech	350 POSTED: 1 Aug 2011 19:46
	>Xavier: You create the WALL-BREAKER'S JUMPSUIT! Wow, you could probably break a lot of walls while wearing this suit. Specifically 4th walls. -10 Build Grist, +20 Artifact Grist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Chas: As you follow the trail, occasionally finding chunks of Grist or cutlery on the ground, you suddenly hear a loud noise. Looking ahead, you see a small purple aircraft take off, one of its engines smoking slightly. You follow the trail to its end. It looks like this was were the aircraft took off from. +30 Build Grist, +20 Chalk Grist.


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