Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

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>Greg:Refuse to believe the White Queen on this matter

You shake your head slowly,then walk slowly up to the White Queen,and stare her right into the eye,or whatever the Propsitians call their equivalent,and say in a calm but kind voice No.I will not,nor will I ever believe that.Maybe its true,ignorance is bliss.Maybe my friends and I ARE the center of this Universe and its our destiny and all.But I will NOT accept that.You ALL are your own people,with your own thoughts,feelings,and emotions.You all have wants and needs.Your own hopes and dreams.And I will NEVER see you as something other then living people.

You backed away,turn around and start making your way to the door.When you are about half way between the DOOR and the White Queen,You slowly turn around and look long and hard at the White Queen,your eyes burning with a determination that even you didn't think you had in you! And understand Your Majesty,that Propsit may fall,but its people will live on.And as the Knight and Hero of Space I will do everything in my power to save you all.I may not succeed but I will do everything in my power to see to it!

With that,you give the Queen a bow then turn on your heels and walk out.Sure,you could fly off but walking out just adds to the point.

You have to put on that book learning to use somewhere.

>Xavier: Comprehend
You know, using the same command over and over again is getting really annoying! Plus, you already know what's going your FATHER and most likely Chas' FATHER are strifing it out!

>KNIFETECH LVL 43: MR. MCFEELY'S WRATH!
You interject the strife with a flurry of stabs jutting from every which-way.

>Dirk: Think of something

OK, shit, shit shit. You wonder just how on earth you're going to get out of this mess, and try to draw on all of your OTAKU-PROWESS to solve the situation.

"Okay. Okay, maybe if I make the right symbol I could summon Gamabunta? Wait, FUCK, no, I can't summon frogs! I'm not Naruto. But I should DEFINITELY alchemize something like that later. OK, maybe I can transmute--oh, wait, I forgot these gloves are SHIT. Uh, OK, how about I summon my Dark Magician and--HOLY SHIT. WHY DID I NOT THINK OF ALCHEMIZING A YUGIOH DECK WITH REAL LIVE WORKING CARDS HOLY SHIT I HAVE GOT TO DO THAT LATER.

It is kind of a miracle you haven't been RIPPED TO SHREDS yet. Suddenly, a little tick in your mind goes off. An itching, burning sensation that seeks to remind you of long-lost HOBBIES AND INTERESTS that you've neglected. You remember now. The imagine of AGENT SMITH staring down at you... Arnold Schwarzenegger's cheesy puns course through your veins. You REMEMBER now...

YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN TO FEED YOUR PETS EVEN ONCE SINCE THE START OF THIS DAMNED ADVENTURE. OH MY GOODNESS THEY ARE PROBABLY ALL DEAD.

>Dirk: Enraged by the loss of your pets, take action!

You shout at the MONSTER. How DARE it steal your beloved PETS from you? What kind of heartless abomination could kill such innocent creatures! IT WILL PAY FOR THIS CRIME! You launch a MIGHTY ASSAULT with your KEYBLADE DIRECTLY TO ITS FACE.

>Rich: Provide SPEECH SUPPORT.

Your plan failed - time to give Chas a go with his. You'll spend the time productively, by thinning out the LESSER FOES. You select a nice OGRE to start with; drawing your HEADPHONES, you proceed to circle around behind him, move to slip the EARBUDS into his ears...and casually flick the cords inward, such that they wrap themselves around the front of his neck instead. You grab hold of each EARBUD and pull with all your might.

You could get used to this.

Still, as much as you'd love to asphyxiate this one, you need him alive, at least for now. You place both EARBUDS into one hand, lessening up on them (though only enough to prevent the OGRE from losing consciousness) in the process. With your free hand, your draw your STRANGELY-NAMED SONIC WEAPON. You level it at the HORDE OF HOOLIGANS. The side of your mouth curls into the faintest sliver of a grin.

>Rich: Ride.

>Chas: Most powerful man in the INCIPISPHERE, eh? Heh, kid, you've still got a long way to go.

Your speech, though pretty damn awesome, fails to impress or intimidate the CENTAUR standing before you. If he had heard of your various exploits, then maybe it would have had some kind of effect, but considering that these guys have never heard of you... yeah.

Anyway, the CENTAUR has taken the time you spent orating to string, aim, and fire another massive arrow at you.

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>Greg: You leave the THRONE ROOM.

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>Xavier: Your flurry of attacks manages to clear out a large part of the Dersites assaulting your DAD. With one of the large crowds taken care of, you and your Guardian go to help out Connor's FATHER, as his shotgun blasts tear through the soldiers surrounding him.

After a few more minutes of strifing, the three of you stand victorious, your foes vanquished. After expressing how proud he is of you, your DAD takes off his backpack, revealing that it's stuffed full of sticks of DYNAMITE and packs of C4 and other explosive materials. As he starts tossing the contents of the pack around the area, he advises that you evacuate the building. Or, at least cover your ears.

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>Dirk: With the spirits of your DECEASED PETS fueling your rage and strength, you deliver a massive blow against the DRAGON, your KEYBLADE slamming into its head with all the force of an enraged otaku. This time, you actually manage to pierce his armor!

Unfortunately, the blow does little to deter or damage your foe. With a flick of his neck, the DRAGON flips you through the air, wildly careening and bouncing across his back. With a loud thud, you come to a halt as you slam into the massive sword currently stuck in the DRAGON's back. You know, the one that seems to have torn through a good part of its armor.

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>Rich: Well, you've found at least one thing that OGRES are good for: They make pretty decent FAITHFUL STEEDS. As you project your CHORALE across the field, you and your mount parade around the area, dealing significant damage to the other UNDERLINGS around you.

>Greg:Figure out your next move

As you walk out of the Palace,you take the time to think and come up with a plan.

Your time has once again been decreased,though you don't really blame the Queen for that.It just means that you all will need to hustle.

And there is the problem with Chas.he seems to be getting worse and worse the more you all play this little 'game'.And he doesn't seem to be showing any signs of stopping.Of course with the way things have been lately the next time you speak with Chas the whole thing could have been resolved and everything is back to normal...figuratively speaking that is.And yet somehow you don't think that is likely to happen.Which means that you may have to stop him when the time comes.

You push that thought aside for now and try to figure out how you all will deal with the Black King and Queen.You can't exactly just rush in;that would be suicide.And you STILL don't trust Jack.He could very well be behind some of this.But you don't have any proof of this.

You sigh to yourself and look up at the sky of Prospit once you are out of the Palace.

Some much to do and yet so little time.

Welp,no point just standing here feeling sad all day.You have things to do,people to see,and friends to possible beat up.All in all a full list.

You take to the sky,flying over the city and looking down on the people.You will do everything in your power to save them.

Prospit may die..but its people will live on.

You decide to give Rich and Chas' Towers a quick check to make sure they are ok.They are still your friends after all.

>Waffles: Review the early posts

>Xavier: Do it
You have waited your young life to do this and now is the time!

>Xavier: Walk away for the explosion, seemingly unaware of it in the background
If only you had C-Diddy's AVIATORS, that would make it 20% cooler!

>CJ: Notice that the two Alpha trolls introduced so far are a pair, one girl who is upbeat, cheery and extremely helpful, and presumably a boy who is pissed as all holy hell towards the girl and towards the humans, but still willingly helps them beyond necessity's sake.

K.

>Dirk: Oh, right.

That. You GRAB the SWORD by the HANDLE, and INSERT CAPS-LOCKED WORD HERE it across the DRAGON'S BACK. Really, any word would fit there. CUT, SLASH, SCRAPE, SCRATCH... actually, wait, not that last one. That one is stupid.

>CJ: Produce some accompaniment doodles to flesh out this tiny post.

Nyeh!

>Seinfeld: Invent Act 6

(I've been wanting to say that for a while.)

>Benndak: Get a post up later, when your headache ain't so strong.

>Greg: As you soar through the air, you pop by Rich's tower first, and peek in one of his windows. He's still lying in his bed, asleep. However, you note that he's constantly tossing and turning in his sleep, as though he's on the verge of waking up. Well, hopefully things won't be to hectic whenever he gets around to awakening.

Moving on, you hover over to Chas' tower, ready to check in on your quite possibly insane FRIEND-LEADER-GUY. As you near the golden spire, you notice a pair of ropes hanging from one of the windows, trailing down to the ground far below. You can a pair of muffled voices emanating from Chas' room.

Peeking inside the room, you see a pair of Dersites standing around the golden bed, right next to Chas' sleeping body. They seem to be trying to shake/slap him awake.

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>Xavier: As you try to walk out of the building, a solitary figure steps into the center of the massive doorway, his form blocking your path. A large MONKEY WRENCH, clasped in his hand, slams into the ground with a loud clang.

"You broke them."

His voice sounds mournful, as he stares past you at the desecrated ships and vehicles, their flaming husks casting flickering shadows across his face. Clang.

"They told me I could have all the fun I wanted with them, but you've gone ahead and broken them all."

The air whiffs by the wrench as he brings it up to his head, slamming it against his carapace again and again as he begins to rant.

"As much as I want to believe that they're still whole and ready to be taken apart, I know that simply isn't true. I sadly cannot deny the fact that all my precious complicated machines are lying before me, blown into a thousand pieces by actions that were not my own! And if I wasn't the creator of these actions of horrendous destruction, then that means that someone else must be! So, I ask you, who was it? WHO WAS IT!"

CLANG.

Yeah, so you're apparently facing some insane guy. Have fun with that.

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>Dirk: You manage to grasp hold of WRATH's hilt, dislodging the blackened hand that was wrapped around it. Said appendage crumbles to ash as it bounces against the DRAGON's armor.

Using the sword as a base, you manage to unsteadily rise to your feet, struggling to remain standing as the beast's back shifts back and forth. Ready to deal a massive blow, you yank the blade out of the monster's armor, and OH DEAR LORD THIS THING IS HEAVY.

About six feet in length, ten inches wide, and at least two inches thick, the sword must weigh at least 200 pounds, all of that solid iron. Even at your modestly high level, you're still about to topple over from its sheer size. Add in the fact that you still haven't really gotten your footing back yet, and you begin to fall off the DRAGON's back, hurtling towards the ground below.

Awkwardly twisting in the air, you manage to scrape the sword across the monster's leg, leaving a long scratch as you descend. As you slam into the ground, WRATH manages to sever one of the beast's toes with its weight.

>Greg:Confront the two Dersites

When you look through the window of Chas' tower and see the two Dersites,you have a moment of panic.Dickish behavior or not,he is STILL a friend,and you don't him to die.

The moment quickly passes when the rational part of you points out that you don't see any weapons on them and all they seem to be doing is shaking/slapping the hell out of his dreamself.Part of you is tempted to join them,but then rationality returns and points out that that is a bad idea.

You win this round Rationality.

You hover through the window,thankful that flying doesn't make any noise,and slowly lower yourself to the ground at the foot of the window,feeling ground under your feet and being thankful that there is carpet and not wood.You contemplate how to go about this when you remember how the hero in one of your stories confronted a group of bandits once.You compose yourself then fold your arms across your chest,start tapping your foot on the ground,and put on your best stern-yet-still-kind look.You clear your throat to get their attention.Is there anything I can help you gentlemen with?

>Xavier: Platonically pity the mechanic
Aw. You really don't want to fight him, let alone kill him. His little heart is broken and you don't want to break him any further. You decided to resolve this peaceful.

"Sir, I hope we might calmly and peacefully talk this out!

>Chas: Get down to fighting.

You feel like the universe just kicked you in the balls. Is this really what life's come to?

Ah, fuck it, whatever.

>Chas: Bob and weave.

Your thoughts drift to the magnanimous betrayal the powers that be just proverbially bitchslapped into your face, and you suddenly decide on something. Chas Alder isn't anybody's bitch. You just made a speech about that. And as your eyes drift skyward, tracing the outline of the arrow approaching you, this mantra is further engraved in your mind.

CHAS ALDER AIN'T NOBODY'S BITCH

>Chas: Execute.

You laser the fuck out of that arrow, then, fingers tightening as you brandish your spork, you begin to charge with reckless abandon towards the CENTAUR.

Why?

Fuck you is why.

>Chas: YOUTH IN REVOLT TECHNIQUE -> SALESMAN-IN-EXILE -> GRIMSHADY DRUG DEALER -> BROODY FUCKPRONG FLURRY

>Greg: As you speak up, the Dersites freeze in place, standing motionless around Chas' bed. After a few seconds of awkward silence, they shoot you a couple quick glances, before huddling together and holding a whispered conversation. After they finish their deliberations, they each give a quick nod, before spinning around and dramatically pointing at you.

"Aha! A trespasser!"
"A trespasser!"

As they strike their pose, you get your first good look at the Dersites. On your right, standing at about you height, is a INSOUCIANT DELINQUENT, wearing a rather ostentatious set of brightly colored clothes. Slung across his shoulders is a backpack with various odds and ends poking out of its various openings. On your left, clothed in a similar fashion to her taller compatriot stands a MINARET HIJACKER, bearing her own backpack as well.

"Trespassing's against the law, you know. I've got half a mind to report you to the guards."
"He's got half a mind to report you to the guards!"

Despite the somewhat threatening content of their words, the two Dersite's tones don't seem to correlate. Instead of sounding intimidating or reproachful, their voices can only be described as incredibly chipper and cheerful.

Before giving you a chance to react, they simultaneously switch their poses, going from pointing at you to thoughtfully stroking their chins. Or, whatever part of their carapace that would correspond to a chin.

"Of course... if you could do us a favor, we might be willing to forget we saw you here."
"We might forget you if you do us a favor."

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>Xavier: Talk it out in a peaceful and calm manner. You get the feeling that that's not going to happen as GS stares at you with a new comprehension, a trickle of blood flowing from his forehead.

"You want to talk, here, now? Why would you want to talk, when you could be taking it all apart, bit by bit, piece by piece, breaking it down until there's nothing left but its most basic components? How can talking ever compare to the thrill of careful destruction, the ecstasy of precise and deliberate dismantling? All the stories in the Incinsphere, whether happy or sad, comedic or tragic, couldn't possibly be measured against that most intimate moment of finding that thing that keeps going tick, tick, tick, and then tearing it into a pile of springs and screws?"

With one last clang of metal, GS slams his wrench into the ground, leaving a massive dent in the floor.

"If I can't break them, then I guess you'll do. Hold still now."

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>Chas: Well, that's quite the attack title. A lot of words, that all come down to pretty much one thing: After a few minutes of mind-blowingly awesome combat, of acts of strife and battle that can only be properly expressed in the tongues of yore, you and Rich are standing in the middle of a field of flowers, the OGRES and BASILISKS have long since turned to Grist, and the CENTAUR currently has a large hole through its torso.

So yeah, Grist windfalls all around!

Level up!

CJ: Be thiiiis close to posting in time

Damn it. Knew I shouldn't have done the doodle.

Dirk: Raise your sword ye mighty, and strike

You never really counted ADVENT CHILDREN as anime, more just a video game tie-in with very impressive visuals. But you suppose you wielding a BUSTER-ESQUE SWORD was all but inevitable. You just wish such a large sword weren't so predictably heavy. It'll be a while before you wield this fucker like Cloud can. Still, if you can get an advantage, you'll TAKE it.

You activate your HASTE and SLOW abilities to give yourself the necessary speed bonuses. Then, you break out the big guns. You activate your *INSERT THAT ONE TIME POWER THAT GAVE YOU THE DOZENS OF CLONES*. Uncounted Dirks fill the room in every nook and cranny, glaring down at the DRAGON with their own copy of its own personal kryptonite in their hands.

With one resounding yell, they leap from every angle and commence the ASSFUCKERY.

>Chas: Revel.

As the corpses, one-by-one, erupt behind you, you quickly make a 180 on the tips of your toes. Your coattail sways in the wind. Smoke clears from your brow, implants open, revealing your blank eyes. You take in a deep breath. Fire. Brimstone.

Destruction.

Your feet begin to carry you away slowly, mind a million miles away, in the grips of those of an eldritch persuasion. Blast after blast nearly blows your hat off, but your path does not sway. You are the be all and end all. You are the ubermensch. Chas Alder is the man foretold to put an end to war.

You face down the battered CENTAUR

>Chas: Go grimdark.

The incipisphere...

Your implants' lenses slide smoothly down.

has a new kind of criminal.

At this one-liner, the sky turns red for a moment. Suit flowing in the wind, you stand next to Rich, as the CENTAUR's very soul crumbles.

You have activated the most horrifying of your GRIMDARK ABILITIES: BLACK HUMOR.

>Greg:Be unsure about the two strangers infront of you

On one hand,they are two strangers who were smacking the hell out of one of your friend's dreamself,an act that you would partially like to join in on.On the other...they are a bit silly.

You do have to give a bit of a chuckle,first at the thought of two DERSITES calling the PROPSITIAN guards on you for trespassing when you're pretty sure its they who are trespassing,and second at their silly antics.

You tip your dream glasses and peer at them,a smile on your face before replying Not to be rude,but as a Prince of Prospit I have a hard time believing that I would get in trouble for being here,in one of my friend's towers.

You give a chuckle then fold your arms up and say But despite that,I have no intentions of getting you two into trouble.Unless that's what you are looking for....

You clear your throat again,more to clear the air then anything else,then give your best, friendliest smile then say Now with that said I have nothing against the People of Derse and I'm perfectly willing to help you,assuming it isn't anything evil.What is it that you need me to do?

Um... yeah. Two posts in as many hours. Neat!

>Dirk: While you're correct in thinking that Advent Children is not an anime, do you know what is an anime? Berserk

That said, the Buster Sword comparison is an apt one. As you perform the LEITMOTIF OF THE AGES, you and your various future incarnations wield your COMICALLY OVERSIZED SWORDS as one, surrounding the DRAGON on all sides. As your picture so perfectly illustrated, ASSFUCKERY commences.

A few minutes later, you've leveled up, acquired a large amount of scrap metal, and continue along your journey through the Labyrinth. Which shall be described in more detail shortly.

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>Chas: You lose a level as you and Rich are warped to your next location.

Rich, however, is a level 30 Arcana Denier!

You're currently a level 49 Geist of Mild Disagreement!

Boonbucks galore.

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>Greg: Upon hearing that you're a Prince of Prospit, ID and MH gasp dramatically, looking at you as though you're some kind of monster.

However, they calm right back down after hearing that you have no intents of getting them in trouble.

As you continue speaking, they nod thoughtfully, as though considering each and every one of your words, treating them with the utmost care and analysis. When you offer to help them out, a pair of mischievous smiles creep across their faces, as they cheerfully wink at each other.

Clearing his throat, ID steps forward, attempting to look disinterested as he begins speaking. "So, you say you're a Prince of Prospit, eh? A likely story!" He says, at he suddenly spins in place and points at you, a clearly played-up glare of accusation pointing at you. "A likely story!"

Assuming a normal stance once again, ID begins talking again, "Assuming, however, that you are a Prince, then you might be exactly who we're looking for.

"You see, MH and I are planning the heist of the year, no, the century, No, THE MILLENNIUM!"
"It's going to be the biggest heist ever!"

As he steps closer to you, ID chuckles. "Well, I wouldn't go quite that far, but yes, this is going to be the biggest moment of our careers! You see..." The Dersite suddenly stops speaking, looking around the room suspiciously, as though looking for eavesdroppers. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he finishes his statement, "We're going to steal the future."

>Greg:Inquire as to how they plan on stealing the future

You just stand and blink as you try to process this new information.They want to steal the future?Is that even possible?Can such a thing be done?

You close your eyes and put on your best thinking face.On one hand you're not sure how they plan on pulling this off.Granted,you aren't the Time Guy.That's Dirk's thing.You're the Spacey Dude.You do Spacey stuff.

Having said that however,you have to admit to yourself that it sounds like quite an interesting idea.It will be no doubt hard,but if it could be done...just think of what this could mean!

That,or it just livens up the old story lover in you.You think you will go with that.

After you have decided what you are going to do,you walk over to the two Dersites,give a big smile then put one arm around both of them and say Well,I will admit that you two have me intrigued and I'm curious to see what you have in mind.As the Knight of Space,I will help you in anyway I can. You then give them a good look,but still smiling, before adding Just so long as you two understand that I want NO ONE to come to harm for this.Understand?

You may be intrigued,but you aren't going to let someone get hurt over this.

>Chas: Note developments.

You do not think you will be resorting to BLACK HUMOR any more.

>Chas: Try to make out where you are.

>Dirk: Head on in

You CAPTCHALOGUE that grotesquely large sword. You think that whatever it is, it might be useful at some point in the future. You keep a close eye on your surroundings as you head deeper into this dungeon. Any lore you can find to help you would be vital.

>Xavier: Begrudgedly strife
Aw man, this guy is adamant! He can't calm the hell down! Maybe if you just knock him and use your your LIFEY POWERS and heal him of mental afflictions, he could...

Well, you don't he can do, but you want have to kill him!

>Xavier: Deequip knives
You won't need them. Your GRIZZLY CLAWS will suffice (claws being your FISTS)!

>Xavier: Punch
You send a speeding fist into jaw.

>GM: Despise insomnia with a burning passion. Well, if I'm going to be awake, I might as well ensure that I'm in no way, shape, or form productive.

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>Greg: As you state your conditions, ID and MH begin chuckling and giggling, respectively. "No need to worry my fine fellow; out little caper isn't going to hurt anyone. We're nothing if not careful.

"For example: MH!"
"Yeah ID?"
"How many jobs have we pulled the past year?"
"Exactly 87!"
"And out of those 87, how many times did we ever put anyone in any danger whatsoever?"
"Only 87 times!

Cue awkward silence.

"...My point exactly! It's still less than 100!"

Somehow, you find yourself less than reassured. Nevertheless, you allow ID to guide you over to Chas' window. Once at the portal, the Dersite points towards the brightness of Skaia, floating high overhead.

"Now, we've been working on this particularly job for quite some time now. We've been... less than successful so far."
"We tried stealing all the clocks and watches in the Incinsphere, borrowing that green guy's stick thing, and asking Time really nicely to please stop. It didn't listen..."
"But that's all in the past now! We've heard from a very reliable source that, if you watch them at the proper time, then you can see the future in the clouds way up there."
"So obviously we figured out that the clouds must have their own supply of the future!"
"Exactly! Now, all we need to do is figure out how to get up there, and we'll be able to steal the cloud's future! It's so brilliantly easy!"
"That's where you come in!"
"Right! A while ago, we spotted this young lad," ID says as he points at Chas' slumbering form, "flying through the air like some kind of bird! We saw him come in here, so we thought we'd climb up here and ask him to give us a hand."
"But, he won't wake up! So, we've been waiting here for a while now, trying to get him up. But now that you're here, you can help us out, right?"

The two Dersites smile at you, eagerly waiting for your response.

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>Rich and Chas: The two of you find yourselves standing at the end of a painfully long ATM line, waiting behind various Underlings and Consorts. They stare at you in surprise as you warp out of nowhere, but don't particularly do anything else of interest.

As you wait for everyone ahead of you to finish up, the two of you wonder why you decided to put this location in the loop.

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>Dirk: As the Builder guided, so also did he study and learn. Arcane lore and long-forgotten knowledge became his tools, as he delved deep into his studies and experiments. Some of his achievements were great and mighty, changing the face of the Land with their utilities. Some were mundane and uninteresting, and were forgotten almost as soon as they were discovered. Some were failures and disappointments, opportunities for learning that could never be ignored.
One day, a thousand years ago, he completed his latest project: He found the secret of flight.

As you continue to traverse the twisting passages and dead-ends, you begin to feel the temperature steadily increase; after a few minutes of walking, you feel like you're in a sauna, sweat pouring from every pore of your body as you wearily tread through the stone paths.

Eventually, you come to an area where several passages branch off from your current one. Peering down one, you can spot the sheen of water emitting from a birdbath-esque pedestal. Down another, you can see a nearly stationary form; though you can't quite make out what it is, you can see that it possesses a large pair of wings. Down the final path, you hear some loud stomping.

Also: Level up!

Level 52 Darksteel Herald!

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>Xavier: You hurt your hand punching into his carapace.

GS responds by swinging at your head with his wrench.

>Greg:Listen patiently to the silly duo

You nod to yourself as you listen to the duo explain what they have up their sleeves,or whatever the Dersite equivalent is.You admit that you are little dubious at their mention of their previous jobs,but you decide to stay quiet on that.Hopefully with you around they will keep out of trouble,a fact that you have little belief in.

You close your eyes and continue to nod to yourself as the duo finish telling you their plan.You give it a moment of thought,then decide to give them your two cents on the matter.

I would like to point out that you really can't steal the future from the clouds.If you want an idea as to where all that you see in them come from,then I would suggest you start looking there. You walk over to the window and point up to Skaia.
Though I would like to point out that one of my friends happens to be the Mentor of Time.And while I am quite curious to see what you two could pull off,I don't think he would be happy if I let you two run around stealing futures.However,I am curious about one thing... You clap the both of them on the shoulders and give a thoughtful look What do you think of the Black Queen?And how would you like to have a hand in helping bring her down?

>Dirk: Meet your flighty new friend.

Even though you kind of feel like you might come to regret this, a chance to throw down with a GIANT BIRD DEMON is too amazing for your inner ACTION-HERO WANNABE to pass up. You select your HYPERION GUNBLADE for the showdown, along with your JETPACK. You'll need to forgo your conventional tactics, if they can be called conventional, if you want to beat this kind of foe.

>Rich: Wait a really long time. Eventually reach ATM. Make transaction.

STRIFE!

http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/elevatorstuck

It tells you to swipe your card. You swipe your card. It tells you to swipe your card again. You swipe your card again. It tells you to try turning the card around. You do so and swipe your card again. It asks whether you would like to speak with a representative. You press "yes". It asks you to please wait. You do so. No representative arrives. It tells you to swipe your card. You punch in the card number manually instead. You accidentally type a 9 instead of a 6. You start over. It tells you to swipe your card. You hear the people behind you complaining. You swipe your card again. It asks you how much you would like to withdraw. You type in "1000". You realize you meant to type "100". You don't even have $1000 in your account. It tells you that you don't have $1000 in your account. It tells you to swipe your card.

You concede defeat.

>Greg: As you tell ID and MH that they can't really steal the future, or clouds for that matter, the two thieves let out a simultaneous "Awwwwwwwwww."

As you continue talking however, and ask them about the Black Queen, their sad looks turn to ones of confusion and indecision. Clearing his throat, ID begins to speak first. "Well, about her... Um, well, she's a, uh... We think that she's... She's a..."
"She's a person!"
"Yes, yes, she's certainly a person! Just, not necessarily a nice one."
"She's kind of scary though."
"Yes, I suppose there's no denying that; she can be quite intimidating at times. But once you get to know her, she's rather"
"Mean?"
"Well, yes, but..."
"And a little evil."
"Well... Yeah, I guess you could say we don't really like her that much. Or at all really."

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>Dirk: Well, you're right and wrong about a couple things. You're right about the fact that your conventional tactics won't work here, but wrong about the idea that you're facing a GIANT BIRD DEMON. No, instead you find yourself facing a BORED-LOOKING SPHINX, who stares at you with heavy-lidded feline eyes as you charge at her with your weapons drawn.

"Come now, put those away. There's no need for such childish toys here; at least not yet. Come, sit down, rest a while."

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>Rich: After your long and fruitless battle, you graciously concede defeat to your foe. The ATM soars up its echeladder, reaching its highest rungs in a matter of instants.

Level 99 Scourge of the States!

The sheer number of boonbucks it earns far exceeds the size of its porkhollow, and some of the ATM's earnings spill out at your feet. +100 Boonbucks!

You and Chas again find yourselves drawn into the mysterious MONTAGE PORTAL. Where would you two like to go next?

>Dirk: Be reasonable and put those things away.

You CAPTCHALOGUE your items and stow them away. You're not really certain why, but you trust this creature enough to give it the benefit of the doubt.

You sit down on the opposite side of the room from it. You don't trust it THAT much.

"Thanks, I think I will. Gotta say, it'd be nice to have a chance to really sit down and rest in this place with all the fire tiring me out. So, you're a Sphinx, right? If you're not somebody I just fight, I take it this is some kind of intellectual puzzle?"

>Rich: Place vote for DESERT OASIS.

You think that would be a nicely dramatic return to the WILD! Then perhaps you can follow it up with scenes of DECAY and/or TORMENT, finishing it up with a scene of EPIC SCALE, a MONUMENT TO A CIVILIZATION'S ACHIEVEMENTS AND/OR SINS!

>Greg:Start putting an idea into motion

You listen and nod intently as ID and MH tell you about the Black Queen,stuff that you pretty much already knew.I have heard she is a cruel and evil person.I know very well what she is willing to do. You tap your fingers on both their shoulders then give a mischievous grin that slowly spreads across your face.

You dislike the Black Queen right?And you wish to steal a future?Then how would you like to do something that no one has ever done before.

You give them another big hug before stating How would you like to steal the very future the Black Queen has planned herself?

>Dirk: As you sit down, the SPHINX smiles in answer to your question, showing off a mouthful of fangs as she does. "Pretty much, yes. I'm assuming that you've heard some variation of the classic myth and riddle, so I won't bore you with the details."

The creature stretches, smiling as her spine cracks loudly. Gesturing with her wings, she points at a small doorway behind her. "As you may have guessed, that's the passage you need to take to continue along. If you answer my riddle, then I'll allow you to pass, with no need to pay the customary toll. However," she continues, shooting you a mischievous glance, "There is another option available to you.

"It should go without saying that my riddle is quite puzzling; I can't recall a single being who's answered it in all the time I've been here. So, I've taken to offering an alternate challenge: Tell me a riddle I've never heard before. If it's one that is truly new to me, then I will allow you to pass. What's more, if I particularly enjoy your riddle, I might be tempted to reward you."

The Sphinx yawns luxuriously, her half-closed eyes never leaving your face. "Well, what will it be, Hero?"

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>Rich: Good enough for me!

You and Chas find yourselves landing in the middle of a desert, near a small pond of water and several verdant palm trees. Surrounded by the customary Underlings, blah blah blah, GIANT SCORPION.

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>Greg: "Er... Maybe. What exactly did you have in mind?"

>Dirk: Think back, and find your riddle.

You have to admit, you are SHIT at solving riddles. The only time you ever got one right, it was a Lord of the Rings reference. No, if you're going to solve this SPHINX'S CHALLENGE, you're going to have to come up with a riddle. You think back to better days, something like two years ago now.

You and your SIS are sitting in the GAME ROOM watching the FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD collection you purchased. You hate buying the DVDs when you could pirate them, but this is an experiment. Your SIS has complained about your shitty ANIMES one too many times, and you've managed to force her to sit through all 63 episodes of BROTHERHOOD leading up to the climax. On the screen, Greed is breathing his last breath.

Your SIS throws up her hands and declares bullshit. She thought that Greed was supposed to be evil, like the other homunculi. How could just end up being some friendship freak this whole time? You tell her that there's more to Greed than just being, well, greedy. The whole series is filled with subtext about them. They all fulfill their cardinal sin, but not in the normal way. For example, Lust had literally zero sex drive; her only passion was BLOODLUST. And Wrath was not some ravenous slathering beast, but a cold and calculating man who struck at his foes with sheer ruthless force; and in his own way, he used that same fierce attitude toward protecting his wife, his one true human connection. In that same way, Greed may have on the outside been a being of avarice, but his true form of Greed was not bad. It was a benevolent want. He may have been somewhat selfish to desire friends, but the point the show was trying to make was that we are all selfish, in our desire for friends, family and love. And that is not a bad thing.

You mull it over a bit, and decide that that isn't so bad a jumping point. You stand up and take a deep breath. Your speech starts off slow, but picks up and gains rhythm as you go.

"Of all the cardinal sins of old
Of gluttonous frenzy or lust for gold
The cardinals themselves would hold
That avarice was most foul and cold.

The stinking want for ever more
To dig for shiny stones through gore
And slash the throats of all in your path
No fool would dare oppose your wrath.

But some might say this greater sin
Holds true benevolence within
Tell me, Sphinx, if you can see
The warmth inside that comes from greed?

>Xavier: Finally have that one thing finally happen. Finally.

GS leads you back over to the MASS OF BURNING WRECKAGE THAT USED TO BE A HANGER, and begins to dig through the rubble, tossing aside beams and chunks of roof. Eventually, he manages to make a hole in the detritus, and drops through into the belly of the ruined building.

You can hear the whirring and grinding of machinery for the next few minutes, until the roaring of an engine cuts off all the other noise. A thrown-together pile of scrap and spare parts rises out of the wreckage; by all rights it looks as though the jalopy should be stuck at the bottom of a trash heap. Nevertheless, GS pokes his head out of a window, and waves you over.

"Come on! Get in already."

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>Dirk: As you deliver the final lines, the Sphinx purrs in appreciation. "Ooooooh. Now that is a good one; isn't it? Love the wording and structure; you're a regular little poet, aren't you?"

Rising to her feet, the creature begins to pace around you, her eyes never ceasing to stare at you. "Now, the answer's a little obvious, isn't it? The selfish desire for friendship, if I'm not mistaken. Can't say it's exactly a new concept." She lets out a sigh as she sits down in front of you, seemingly lost in thought.

"What to do, what to do? On the one hand, it's been ever so long since I've had a guest, let alone one so clever as you. And that truly was a treat; I'll be sure to remember that one. On the other, it's been quite a while since I've last eaten..."

With a chuckle, she comes to a decision, rising up and walking over to a hidden alcove. "I suppose that based on the wording of my challenge, you've gone ahead and passed, haven't you? I did ask you to tell me a riddle I've never heard before, and that was the first time I heard that particular wording. Very well then."

Reaching into the alcove, she picks up an oddly shaped package, and tosses it to you. "I would advise that you don't open this until you really need it. It has a habit of being useful the first time you use it, and being worthless every time after that."

She points a paw towards the passageway behind her. "Well done, my young hero. Feel free to go on ahead. Oh, and do come on back if you so desire. I always crave a bit of company."

>Greg:Give answer to question

I would like you to first understand that you are in no way shape or form being forced into this.I'm not like that.Unlike some of my friends... You look over at Chas' still sleeping dreamself when you speak that last sentence. I have no intention of throwing either of you into danger.

You take a moment then compose yourself then continue What I need right now is someone to undermine what the Black Queen is trying to do right now.Nothing too extreme.Especially nothing that would get you hurt or even killed.And besides you give another mischievous grin at the pair then say I'm sure there has got to be something that the Black Queen has that you must have always wanted.

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