Please read this before posting.
Mall Fight is simple:
Everyone is trapped inside a massive mall that you cannot escape,and the goal is to kill everyone in funny (or not funny) ways.
Within the mall is just about any kind of store you could think of (No god items however),even miniature plastic statues of Jim Carrey wearing a crab costume,for example.
Now,here are a few rules to keep this thread fun:
1.No God Mode or Ultimate Weapon crap. I think that's self explanatory.
2.The players cannot permanently die. All of the players have unlimited respawns,so that anyone can play for as long as they want.
3.You can respawn anywhere you want,but...You cannot:
a.Respawn behind somebody or right in front of somebody
b.Spawn kill people
c.Do other things I might not be able to think of at the moment.
4.Don't be an asshole.I think that's self-explanatory too.
5.No double posting.
That's about it.
You don't need any prior experience,and you can catch up to what happened by reading the next page (Except when there's an established plot,in which case I would like to apologize)
Here are links for the first and second Mall Fight if you want to get a better idea on how it's played:
Mall Fight 1
Mall Fight 2
I enter the Mall,which smells a lot cleaner than when I first entered it.
"Wow,looks like somebody actually bothered to clean up the mess." (Me)
I enter an antique store,I steal a decorative rifle,I also take some springs in a nearby store and I then get some conveniently shaped glass bullets at "Conveniently Shaped Bullets-R-Us" that I load the rifle with.
I also get myself some spray cans,some other conveniently shaped bullets made out of rotten cheese,and I wander off into the Mall,ready to kill anyone who's brave enough to enter.
I enter into the Mall and the first thing I see is an Army Surplus, I enter.
I collect a grenade launcher and a SMG, I see a Humvee, "Who would sell that!?", I ask myself.
I then proceed to steal it, crash through a wall shooting into the air.
I overhear the sounds of the Humvee.
"Oh,I wonder who that could be!" (Me/B)
I run inside the park,and I hide on a tree.
I shoot down all trees I can see, "FUCK YOU TREES, HOW DARE YOU GIVE OFF OXYGEN!"
I jump off of the tree and onto the Humvee.
"Shit,that was close!" (Me/B)
I look into the Humvee,and I see Waffles.
I shoot glass bullets in his eyes,and I then run away.
I rush into the Optician's and find the largest,geekiest spectacles there. I carefully position the glasses so that they catch and concentrate the heat of the sun into a powerful heat beam. I take aim at the guy who has just shot the Humvee driver
I turn around and I watch MrMorphine's incredibly geeky glasses.
"Jesus,even nerds would think this is nerdy-OH SHIT THE LIGHT OF THE SUN CONCENTRATED INTO A HIGHLY DESTRUCTIVE BEAM!" (Me/B)
I start running away from the sun beam.
Blinded by the glass bullets, I shoot wildly around, I am then blown apart by my Humvee exploding due to a sudden rising in heat.
I respawn in McDonald's, grab a Big Mac and come out fighting.
My beam follows, but is unable to catch up with Martintox.
''Speedy little nuisance''
I give up and the sun beam and throw the glasses down near Martintox. The glass shatters and deadly shards fly at the speedy devil
"OH FU-" (Me/B)
I die and respawn inside a TF2 store,and I take a Valve Rocket Launcher that doesn't work,a Scattergun,and a Bottle.
"Shit is gonna get real." (Me/B)
I break the Valve Rocket Launcher,and I grab some parts of it to use as melee weapons,before running back in the park.
I throw the Big Mac at Mr.Morphine then dropkick him.
"Ok,I'm ready to-OW FUCKING HELL THERE ARE GLASS SHARDS ALL OVER THE PLACE,OH THE HUMANITY!" (Me/B)
I painfully walk over the glass,and I climb up the clock tower,before grabbing my decorative rifle and shooting Mister Morphine in the eyes.
"BOOM EYESHOT!" (Me/B)
I am thrust forward as Waffles delivers a dropkick to my back. A shot from Martintox finishes me off.
I respawn in a record store, surrounded by a variety of albums and music apparatus. I grab The Door's LA Woman and stick it on the record player and turn it UP TO 11!
The glass windows of the record shop blow out as the impossibly loud psychedelic rock blasts through the mall
''That should make their heads blow'' I say with a smirk
To counter MM's sudden musically uproar, I play my own music on Dalek A-Oh wait, I mean giant fucking stero, that I totally had the whole time.
Little does Mister Morphine knows,that I always keep around my Ipod with special made headphones that can block any sounds that aren't coming from the headphones themselves!
I put on those headphones and I start listening to The Beatles.
"We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine" (Me)
I love you guys
IC: Sensing that my genius plot has been foiled, I pick up a number of vinyl records and prepare the wield them as shuriken. Now I must hunt my prey
I crash inside the clock tower,next to Waffles.
I smash his head with a part of the Valve Rocket Launcher,and I change the music to Alterniabound because I fucking can.
"AWWW YEAH!" (Me/B)
I run down the clock tower,pumped as all fuck.
I respawn in the Boar Shop, feeling whimsical, I decided to steal a Boar.
He is my steed, I have named him Alexander Hamilton (Dear God, I am so creative).
I flip off Tox a ride off to find cool items.
I interrupt Martintox's pumped up rampage with a barrage of vinyl shuriken.
''Fear the mystical power of the groovy grooves'' I shout
I jump on the Boar.
"Come on,let's go! I'll cover you!" (Me/B)
I start shooting the incoming vinyl shurikens with the Scattergun.
I look on in anguish as my deadly vinyl shuriken are destroyed. I start running rapidly away from Martintox
"FEAR THE POWER OF THE ELDER PLAYERS! A.K.A THE GUYS WHO SPENT THEIR ENTIRE SUMMER POSTING IN MALL FIGHT 2!" (Me/B)
Alexander Hamilton rams (Or should I say: HAMS! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL), MM, I shoot him with an SMG to finish him off.
I highfive Tox for his cooperation then shot him.
Leave no man unkilled.
I respawn inside a Gamestop,and I start breaking Xbox 360's and turning their parts into bullets,before I then run into a Movie Car store,and steal a DeLorean from Back To The Future,and then start driving around the Mall.
Alas, the SMG cuts through me like a knife through butter.
I respawn inside a novelty shop and an idea occurs to me. I pick up two Tesla orbs. I visit the Army surplus store where Waffles got his Humvee. I find two tasers and hook them up to the Tesla orbs with some wiring.
''I call it..the Zeus Blaster!!'' I scream as I fire blasts of powerful electricity.
''Let's fry up some mallfighters''
I am in the midst of a victory lap whilst still riding Alexander Hamilton, firing off my SMG. Its not everyday you kill your best friend and a guy you just met in one post...
Er, felt swoop, rather.
I drive my '66 Charger through the front entrance. As I speed through the first floor, I hit the brakes and swerve. I stop the car before Waffles is hit by the driver's side door.
I kick open the door, knocking Waffles flat on his back.
Huh? What the hell is this place? Oh, pet store.
GO GET ALL OF THEM CRAWMERAX! Just don't do percentile damage this time like you always do...
I stop in front of a Homestuck store,and I enter it.
"Alright,let's see,horns,no,transportalizer,no...What's that?" (Me/B)
I grab what seems like a tube of lipstick,but it then turns into a motherfucking chainsaw!
"Oh,that's right." (Me/B)
I then grab a copy of Sollux Captor's glasses and-
"Wait a second,I already got Sollux Captor's glasses! I got a pair of one of those in Mall F-I should probably stop referencing Mall Fight 2 so nobody gets confused the hell out of their minds." (Me/B)
I put the glasses back where they were,and I keep driving around,when I crash into RaN's 66' Charger.
"Sorry,RaN! What up?" (Me/B)
I take aim at the one who has just driven a Charger through the front entrance. I hit him with two swift bolts of Tesla lightning.
''That shocking enough for ya?''
I explore the pet store as Crawmerax kills more people. I find some Skags and some Claptraps that appear to be equipped with weapons.
This should be good...
I rub my head, "Hey RaN...", I leave my fist out for a fist bunp anHoly fucking shit, a Crawmerax.
I throw RaN at it to appease it.
I help Waffles up. Tox scrapes against my car.
Tox: "Sorry, RaN! What up?"
RaN: "Not much. Did you scratch the paint?"
Tox: "No, I don't think so."
RaN: "Then we're cool."
Then suddenly, Crawmerax.
RaN & Tox: "SON OF A BITCH!"
I jump out of the DeLorean and inside a pet store,where I see Ice Azure.
"YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY BOUGHT STUFF IN MALL FIGHT! (Meta-gaming ftw) YOU MUST PAY FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS!" (Me/B)
I grab the Scattergun and I shoot him/her in the face.
"PLUS YOU HAVE A LUCKY STAR PICTURE IN YOUR PROFILE!" (Me/B)
Damn. *Respawns in the middle of nowhere*
Hey, there's a prison in this mall... A cage of Psychos? *Releases*
OH SNAP, COULD IT BE, THE HORDE WAVE