Mall Fight (ENDED: New One is on Forum Games)

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"Nah,I wasn't actually gonna kill you,all of the Valve Rocket Launchers in the store don't work anyways because they're incredibly overpowered." (Me)

I accidentally fire a shot,and it hits Matt,killing him.

"So,anyways,what up?" (Me)

"Yeah, I forgive you for fucking up my jacket. I don't think I should be wearing it into a battle field anymore, but if I stopped then I wouldn't be as awesome. Really, I can't decide." I say as go inside the store with Tox and close the door.

"Well,then,dude,get yourself an undamagable jacket. You can easily enchant yours with one of those magic scrolls." (Me)

"Wow, that sounds awesome. Can you do that, I don't know shit about magic despite the upgrade." I say.

"Sure cool guy. Lets go get it." says Tox.

"Awesome, before we go, what's with the gantlet? You know what that did that to future you." I say before we go back outside.

"I suppose that wearing the gauntlet's gonna increase my power in general,kinda like wearing heavy training clothing in Dragon Ball Z. Now,we need to find a magic store. We should probably go to Chinatown,it's bound to have one there." (Me)

"OK, lets go." I say and we walk over to Chinatown on the other side of the mall.

"Ok,so,if I'm right,there should be the Weegee Talisman on one of the Chinese lanterns-wait,what am I saying? Anyways,here is the magic shop." (Me)

We enter the magic shop,which has a shit load of small square holes on the wall,filled with scrolls.

"Alright,we just need to check the labels." (Me)

I start searching the scrolls for one that renders cloting indestructible.

I sit in the corner and am about to sink my teeth into the chocolate fudge ice cream when suddenly, I see a cute girl sitting at a table who looks like she wants some ice cream. While I try to decide whether I prefer ice cream or booty, the food court explodes.

"Well, that makes it easier..."

I then dramatically turn my head.

"Alma..." (Me)

I grab my Legendary Katanas,and I rush to the food court.


As I walk past the ice cream shoppe, the food court explodes. Black soot comically covers my face.

"Back to the bathroom then."

I wash my face off and walk back to the food court, where I spot Ren salvaging what's left of his ice cream. Tox runs by with his katana raised over his head.


RaN: "Who?"

I hear screaming and see Tox and RaN in the food court. I pick up my lawnmower and charge forward firing my nail gun and shouting "SPAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!".











"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" (Sweetie Derelle)

We both crash into eachother.

Me and Tox fall to the ground, my lawnmower and his Legendary Katanas comically spin upwards, then fall down on top of RaN. I rush over and grab the Katanas.

I quickly Optic Blast Ren's legs,and I grab the Legendary Katanas.

I press a button in the lawnmower and a chainsaw is fired, cutting Tox's arms off.

"Where did this pile of shitty swords come from?"

I push the pile of fake novelty swords off of me.

Luckily,my right arm is not cut off,as it is protected by the gauntlet me from the future had for a bit. I then grab RaN,and I smash his head in Ren for calling my Legendary Katanas shitty swords.

I grab RaN and throw him at Tox, distracting him long enough for me to rip his neck open with the rake.

I respawn,I jump on Ren,and I rip his fucking head off.

I respawn on the other side of the mall and wonder why Tox respawned right next to me. I then notice I'm in the medieval store.

I drop all the crap I got,only keeping the Gobi Campaign Scout Rifle,the Holy Frag Grenades and the Legendary Katanas. I then run back into the park,when I see the electric fountain and the shiny as fuck light bulb giving endless electricity to eachother,causing the light bulb to be even more illuminated,and the electric fountain to be more...Electric.

I chainmail suit up, pick up a claymore and run to the food court.

I climb up the clock tower,protected by the killer light of the lightbulb thanks to my cool-ass Sollux Captor shades,and I load my Gobi Campaign Scout Rifle.

After being used as a battering ram twice, I get off the floor and brush the dust off my jacket. I notice a cute girl sitting in the ice cream shoppe. I don't hesitate in talking to her.

"Hey there."


"... Your voice sounds very familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Sorry, I don't think we've met."

She shakes my hand.

"My name's Saber."

"I'm Sage. But everyone around here calls me RaN."

"That's nice. I don't know why, but I like you RaN."

She gets up and leaves the store.

"Wait! Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Sorry. I have prior engagements."

My eyes follow Saber as she leaves the Mall.

"Oh yeah. She likes me."

The Anti-Rage thread inside my mind suddenly snaps,and I rush at RaN,with a trail of fire covering my tracks.

"I SERIOUSLY HOPE FOR YOUR FUCKING SAKE YOU DID NOT FUCKING DO THIS. But then again,I introduced the Mall Fight 2 store." (Me)

I shoot RaN in the head with the Gobi Campaign Scout Rifle,and I run out the doors of the Mall.


"Well fuck." I say, still with a destroyable jacket and no buddies around. I decide to go to the AFK zone until Tox comes back, which is like the place I'm not going to mention, but not controllable.

I walk back in Chinatown,and I grab the scroll for undestructible clothing.

I then teleport in the AFK zone.

"Sup." (Me)

I cast the spell,and Connor's jacket is now un-fucking-destructible.

We then both get teleported back in Chinatown.

I respawn.

"Wow Tox. I didn't think you'd be so adamant about meeting girls."

"Listen,I may tolerate you ignoring everyone's posts,or you acting like an asshole and standing 3 bullets to the head and 2 to the torso but you never,and I mean,NEVER,bring back a character from Mall Fight 2,especially not a girl that is not Si-" (Me)

I punch myself.

I treat myself to a good burger before going to sleep in the furniture store.

"Tox, I seriously hope to God you weren't going to say what I think you were going to say."

"Luckily,I didn't say what I was going to say. This thread has been saved from having a plot." (Me)

I walk out of the Chinatown.

I follow Tox.

"When was the last time I acted like an asshole anyway?"


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