Mall Fight (ENDED: New One is on Forum Games)

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I am suddenly struck by lightning.

I respawn and say "Oh. Okay."

"Knife, Knife, you alright?"
"I don't think he's conscious."
I slowly open my eyes, and see three faces in front of me, my clone/double/sister Saber, my pet tiger Sir Admiral Fluffykins the Third, and...
"Oh, hi Nega Knife, long time no see."

I enter the mall, armed with only a diamond sword from minecraft. I look around, seeing the carnage. I hear fighting in the distance.

"What the hell have these people been doing to the mall?"

"It depends on whether or not everything before post 6896 happened or not."

"Jesus christ not another plot?

"Again, it depends on if the rest of this thread is canon."

Eric gets his head shot repeatedly by TAB cans.

"No plot!" (Me)

I am not harmed, however, because I don't know what TAB is. Seriously, is that some kind of hip aphrodisiac the kids are using these days?

"You don't know what Tab is?" (W.V)

Eric then gets crushed by a massive Tab can.


I respawn and yell "I ONLY DRINK DOCTOR PEPPER! And some kind of orange soda!"

Eric then gets crushed by a can of 7-UP.

*Respawns* "I HATE THAT TOO!"

"Eric. You are a sad, sad human being."

I break a bottle of Mexican Coke over Eric's head, but not before drinking it.

"So when did the mall start raining giant soda cans"

Angus said as he inspected the can that crushed Eric?

Stupid new escapist makes me run so slow and diouble post

I rip Eric's head off his body.


I appear drinking a bottle of Vernors, "Hay guiz!"

Waffles gets crushed by a can of Sprite.

"Okay, where are those cans coming from?" (Me)


"Dude, dude, spawn an Orange Crush can." (Alexander The Ultimate)

"Nah, I'll give them Crystal Pepsi." (Martin)

"You all are stupid!", Justin yells, having a hard time carrying all the cans he spawned, "You drop all the cans! All of them!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, can storm, "EVERYBODY RUN!", I dodge out the way.

I hide in a fruitstand.

It doesn't end well.


"Die! All of you die! For I am your lord and master from on high! Kne-", I get stabbed.

I then take control of his narrative.

And then I create myself (in a way).

"Cool story, bro." (Martin)

"Thank you.", I, Diamond[1], say.


"Saw it coming." (Alexander The Ultimate)

"Well fuck you.", Diamond states.

"Hey, didn't Felix' cat ask Tox to kill her?" (Alexander The Great)

"HEY, TOX!" (Alexander The Ultimate)

"Don't try, he got resetted." (Martin)

"Huh, you all rebooted again?"

"They did. We didn't." (Martin)

"Actually, I can see a problem with that." (Alexander The Ultimate)

"How?" (Alexander The Great)

"What if someone from the pre-rebooted universe came here?" (Alexander The Ultimate)

"Ah, come on, this is something you would read in Homestuck! Wait." (Alexander The Great)

"This whole thread is at least 35% Homestuck, so I wouldn't be surprised."

"I never really consented to the reboot. I still want my loli back."

"Well, either way, I'm afraid you'll have to die one way or another. The chances are high that this will end up just like the pre-rebooted universe." (Martin)

Alexander The Great turns Eric into a loli for the lulz.

"That's where you're wrong," Diamond says, a tad impudent, "I am a figment of Justin, and in a way, Waffles, imagination manifested in physical form, as long as Justin lives, I live.", she smirks.

"It depends if you're talking about the real Justin, or the one that works at Mall Fight Offices." (Martin)

I, Blackjack Six, go to where you guys are wearing my full body Mark VI Stealth Suit from Big Mountain in the Fallout Universe.

"OK, what has been going on since I came back here? I leave this mulit verse for 5 minutes and this shit happens."

I see Alexander, who my writer is not controlling at the moment.

"Oh, sup man. Where's past you?"

"Whomever writes for Waffles."

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