I respawn next to Tox with a jumbo sized bucket of popcorn. "Fancy some?"
I eventually bleed out in a corridor, having been forgotten about by the other combatants...
I look out the window, and see someone bleeding out on the corridor. "Hmmm, they look farmiliar....." I think, before walking over to them, and reviving him with some chest paddles.
"Gah! FU-" Wait, oh it's..you? Have I seen you somewhere before, wearing a spartan costume maybe?" (inter-RP references FTW)
I stand up and shake the hand of my rescuer, "Now, have you seen Tox anywhere? I've got a debt to repay. I owe him two broken knee-caps."
"Oh, Tox, he's back there," I say, jerking my thumb behind me. "We're watching Eraserhead."
"Kewl, can I watch?" I ask, all thoughts of revenge gone.
I walk in without waiting for an answer and sit down.
ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER
The movie ends.
"Well,that was awesome." (Me)
I run out of the store,but not before throwing a grenade in it.
"Wow, I have no idea what I just watched, or why..." I see Tox run out, a 'nade rolling back through the door behind him.
(rolled a 60 - success)
"Ah fuck it. Geronimo!" I leap though the window on the other side of the shop, smashing though and rolling to my feet as I stagger behind a pillar waiting for the inevitable explosion as I draw my .45.
I walk inside the Problem Sleuth store,and I walk out of it a few moments later with a plush toy of the Weasel King.
I crouch and move carefully behind a handy chest-high wall on display outside the handy chest-high wall shop before noticing an Xbox with BfBC2 in it. Dropping my .45 I run wildly towards it when the grenade goes off, hurling me over the mezzanine balcony and into the fountain.
The last thing I see before I black out is '
Joseph Harper faggyMcfagballs'.
"Wow,what an idiot." (Me)
I walk back inside the PS store,and I walk out of it a few seconds later with MOAR plush toys of the Weasel King,before running inside the Quills and Sofas store.
I am awoken by the sound of a grenade exploding, so I look outside and see that there is a new crater outside the Chest-High Wall store. "Hmmmm, how odd..." I say, before getting up and tripping over another grenade, causing me to break both my legs. My death from blood loss takes 3 weeks. I kill 47 people in that time, before being beaten over the head for stealing the idea for this post.
I wake up a few minutes later, and stagger into the 'Useless items shop', coming out 30 seconds later with two action figures of Jim Carrey in a crab suit and a jar full of dirt.
"Bring it bitches!"
I wake up at my desk, "OH SHI-Oh, nevermind." I say as I go on my computer. "God, I don't feel like making a video today, I'm just gonna post a new thread."
After getting all the details down, I post the thread on the Escapist.
Then I go back to sleep.
I walk down the hallways wondering why it's gotten so quiet...
Hopefully I'll find either a scripted story moment, another player or an awesome shop.
I burst through a wall,accidentally killing MJK.
"OH YEAH!" (Me)
I then see MJK,dead.
I wake up, seeing that no one posted in my thread. I get a little sad. I exit the computer lab and head over to the awesome shop, to find Tox standing over some newcomer's body. "New guy, eh?" I say as I blast Tox with my minigun.
"Not really. He's been here since last season."
I stab Connor's spine.
I respawn and sigh before walking into the nearest shop and coming out with a Kalashnikov and the strange feeling I've been ripped off... I jog back around the mall until I find RaN with the knives standing over someone else who's lying on top of Tox who's lying on top of a rapidly despawning corpse - me.
"Hey guys, I see we're all having fun at the moment." I call out as I continue to wander down the corridor towards RaN. Eventually I stop, a few meters away from him, "I see you like sharp objects, huh? Perhaps you'd like to try something a little blunter?"
I then hurl the AK at his head whilst diving to cover behind a pillar and drawing a deflated squeaky hammer out of my pocket.
(damn school... I want another 6 week off :-( )
I burst through another wall.
"OH YEAH!" (Me)
I then fall in a pit of lava.
"OH NO!" (Me)
I appear next to MrJ in a flash of light, and, ignoring him, walk over to the newsagents and buy all the lotto tickets. I then walk out with much less space in my bag of holding.
Suddenly a massive flash of light along with a crack and small shockwave occurs, surprising me and causing me to fall out of cover. I scramble back into cover and wield my (now) inflated hammer, trying (in vain) to be menacing to Knife.
"Haiyaa! What, you're not going to try to kill me horribly?" I sigh and sit there as he walks in and out, "What'd you get those for?"
I respawn in the lobby,and,seeing that nobody's here,I decide to start a scripted story sequence.
Activating useless scripted story sequence in 3..2..1..
I ignore MrJ and walk to the Zero Punctuation store and pick up a handheld coin operated artillery cannon. I then burst out the window and land infront of Tox. "Hey Toxy, got a dollar?" I say, before shooting him in the face, repeatedly.
I fumble around with the AKS-74.
"How does this fucking thing even work?"
I give up and drop the weapon. It promptly explodes, comically covering my face in gunpowder.
You got RIFLE PARTS.
I go outside and wash my face off in the rain.
I respawn in the lobby (Again),and I start punching Knife...With a dollar.
Suddenly, Waffles with a revolver, "'Sup, guys?", I start shooting random people.
I hide behind a fruitstand,and it suddenly gets knocked over by some idiots driving a car.
Congratulations! You are in a buddy cop movie!
I explode,also killing Waffles due to splash damage,and I respawn in the food court.
I respawn in The Night Before Christmas Store and put on a Oogie Boogie sack.
I'm still outside in the rain.
"Guys? I think I just locked myself out!"
"Aw screw it!"
I walk back to my apartment, wash myself off, and go to bed.
"Oh for gods sake, I really feel like everyone just forgets about me" (going to school and having mandatory Drama classes when it heats up doesn't help) I stand up and draw a pistol; when I wander down to the lobby I notice that someone's left the door locked. I unlock it due to the fire hazard before pulling on a waterproof coat from a stand and heading outdside.
I respawn, and kick down the nearest door to Waffles, and start blasting with my Dubstep Guns.
The sound of dubstep tickles my interest,and I run over to wherever Knife and Waffles are.
I turn around, and Tox revives a laser beam to the cranium.
"OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" (Me)
I die and respawn in a Waffle Store. I grab a bunch of Waffles,and I get myself a modified microwave. I then walk out of the store and start shooting Knife with waffles,somehow causing him to die.